March 21st, 2013
12:01 AM ET
Docs: Same-sex marriage benefits kids
Children raised by gay or lesbian couples benefit when their parents are allowed to marry, America’s top pediatrics group said Thursday in support of same-sex marriage.
“If a child has two living and capable parents who choose to create a permanent bond by way of civil marriage, it is in the best interest of their child(ren) that legal and social institutions allow and support them to do so, irrespective of their sexual orientation,” the American Academy of Pediatrics said in a policy statement.
Dr. Ellen Perrin, co-author of the policy statement, says marriage gives children of same-sex couples the same advantages of any married couple’s children.
“Marriage provides permanence and security for children, and those are extremely important for children’s well-being,” said Perrin, a professor at Tufts University School of Medicine who specializes in the developmental behavior of children. “(Marriage) allows them to grow up in an environment in which they’re confident of the solidity of their family and the fact that their family is just like every other family of kids they know in school.”
Almost 2 million children are being raised by gay and lesbian parents, according to the AAP. Only nine states and the District of Columbia currently allow same-sex couples to legally marry.
The policy statement comes as the U.S. Supreme Court is poised to consider two same-sex marriage cases next week. One involves the federal Defense of Marriage Act, which defines marriage as between a man and a woman. The other involves a California law banning gay marriage.
Critics of same-sex marriage have argued it hurts children, citing research that claims children do better when both a mother and a father are in the home.
In a 2009 story, Dale O'Leary, author of the book "One Man, One Woman: A Catholic's Guide to Defending Marriage," said being raised by a same-sex couple damaged children. All children have a natural desire for a parent of each gender, she says, and children of same-sex couples are forced to repress that desire because their parents won't accept it.
In a 2010 opinion piece, Bishop Harry R. Jackson Jr., senior pastor of Hope Christian Church in Beltsville, Maryland, said “An eight-year study of girls and their families showed that a father's presence in the home, with appropriate involvement in his children's lives, contributed to daughters' reaching puberty at a later age."
Although Jackson did not provide specifics on the study, Perrin dismisses such concerns and says virtually all the studies evaluating the benefit of having both a mother and a father in the home compare the situation to a one-parent family, typically the mother alone—not to two parents of the same sex.
“This is something that people are often concerned about, but in reality it just isn’t really a problem for these families,” she said. “It’s very clear that other people in the child’s family environment can substitute for a male or a female influence.”
In reaching its conclusion, the American Academy of Pediatrics authors reviewed more than 30 years of scientific research evaluating children raised by gay and lesbian parents.
“There’s no relationship between parents' gender or sexual orientation and their children's well-being,” Perrin said. “Our conclusion is based in the fact that there’s no evidence at all that same-sex marriage harms children in any way.”
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My conventional post-WWII parents were a disaster and had near total disregard for the three children they brought into this world. They were hubris and self-absorbed, and they felt that fidelity was something that came from a radio. I wished then and feel now that I would have been far better off being adopted by another family. I don't care what the orientation, race, belief system of the family is; if there is love and compassion for the children and nurturing for their needs, then that is far better than abusiveness and neglect. My parents should have been placed in prison. I vowed never to treat a child like I had been treated, hence I remain alone and unattached.
I agree with you that it takes a village...although I may not agree with the lifestyle I have friends who are gay and have adopted a little girl and she is doing amazing! Her biological parents are...well I can't really say it in this post. I am convinced they would have killed her with the abuse she suffered from them. Love always wins...and when I child can be loved, cared for and protected whether they are straight or gay I am all for it.
I am so sorry to hear that you were treated that way.
Wow, that is sad that the only way that you could fulfill your vow to not treat children the way you were treated was to remain alone. I also did not like my childhood. I also made a vow to myself not to treat children the way I was treated. I have two kids that I love and cherish. They feel the same of me.
You have bigger issues at hand.
“Our conclusion is based in the fact that there’s no evidence at all that same-sex marriage harms children in any way.”
Notice their hard evidence: Well... It doesnt seem to be hurting so it must be helping right?
Search4Truth, if you had read the article, you would see that it's talking about children adopted by gay couples who aren't married. They benefit when the gay couples can get married.
There comes a time... When one must decide... No matter where you are from... YOU must decide where you want to go no matter where you are from. YOUR decision was yours alone. NOT your parents. You have been empowered from this minute forward ALL your decisions are yours and no other being past or present is to blame. And you will live with your choices and not blame others for where you want to be.
I didn't get what I needed from my parents either... not to the extent that you describe, but enough to make me feel, like you, that I wouldn't ever have children. Happily, I changed my mind and had two children when I was in my 30s. And guess what? I've done everything completely differently than how I was raised; I love and adore my children, and I make sure they know it. Abuse doesn't have to be a curse that you're doomed to fulfill.
No, what helps is having two parents. Period. Doesn't matter the orientation. A stable happy home is most important. The child's parents being gay neither hurts nor helps. It doesn't matter. And if you want to see their hard evidence, read the original study.
What this article is essentially saying is that children do better in a loving, stable, caring environment, which marriage helps provide. This is not news. Having said that, the absolute BEST environment is a child's BIOLOGICAL mother AND father in a loving, stable, caring environment. A Marriage. Government has the RESPONSIBILITY to encourage the absolute BEST. I fail to see how they accomplish that by saying that everything else is "just as good". I have spent a lot of time working with adopted children, and even those blessed with the most loving, and caring adoptive parents still have problems adjusting. They might not even know they were adopted until later in life, and when they do find out, the majority of them go searching for THEIR parents. Its almost instinctive.
Now I do not question that those who identify as gay or lesbian have the capability as we all do to be good parents. But the fact remains that the nature of the relationship will always deprive a child of one or both of THEIR biological parents. It is one thing to place a child in such an envriromment by nessecity through no fault of theirs or anyone else's, and another thing entirely to encourage the creation of children in such an environment through intent. We see this in many same sex couples who attempt to have their "own" children through surrogacy or sperm donation. The result is the same. A child WITHOUT either their MOTHER or their FATHER. And society should NOT encourage such a thing. Regardless of how anyone tries to say different, EVERY child has a biological MOTHER and a biological FATHER. They will be the two MOST influential persons in EVERY child's life, either by their PRESENCE, or by their ABSENCE. You don't have to be a pediatrician to know which is better.
I had pretty much the same experience – selfish parents who neglected their 6 children and abused me. My choice was to not have children. The siblings who did marry and have children did so knowing that they needed to rely on their spouse's upbringing not theirs as a model. None of them "married" their parents-none of my in-laws in any way shape or form resemble my parents. I've had one or two long term relationships so I didn't shut off everyone, just kept children out of my immediate care. I am an ardent advocate for marriage equality because my first hand knowledge that one man one woman biological family is NOT by nature optimal.
Chad: Why do you call it a lifestyle? Do you think it is a choice?
Didn't hug you enough? Didn't buy you enough toys?
What insane "DR." said this? hahaha unbelievable.
A quick search for Dr. Ellen Perrin yields a Boston, MA pediatrician who graduated from Case Western in 1968, so someone who has been a doctor for 45 years.
Apparently, a very credible one with expertise in the field of child behavior development. Also, one cannot dispute 30 years of scientific research and data.
Another ANTI-GOD Article by CNN. Have you ever noticed that the only kind of articles CNN ever runs are Anti-God articles (Pro-gay, Pro-Lesbian, Pro-Gay Marriage). CNN may not be the ones writing the articles but by publishing the articles they're only helping Lucifer. Which means they fighting against God and is a Worker of Iniquity. Rest assured, the owners of CNN will have to answer to God for these evil acts on Judgment Day…
@ opposing view
I do not agree with your statement that CNN is anti God. They have a religious section written by Priests, Rabbis, Clerics. Many have been quite informative. And it's not true that every article is Pro Gay marriage. I read the following article yesterday and i believe it was quite compelling. http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/20/opinion/george-gay-marriage/index.html?hpt=op_t1
But when you talk about science and medical fields, not many groups (or any) have evidence that same sex marriage hurts children. If you are mad, direct your anger at the appropriate people.
And to be honest, those that say they are talking for God are probably the most non Christian/Muslim/Jewish people around. What I got from the Bible had nothing to do with hate mongering. That came from people who are using the scriptures for their own failings.
BTRU Look who you want to use for the experiment. Children. And there is nothing scientific about the article.
OV: What I find amazing is that people feel they want to spend eternity with the vindictive pr1ck from whom they have to be saved
Opposing View, if your god exists as advertised, he is extremely fallible, angry, jealous, murderous, an abortionist, commits genocide, condones incest, is bigoted against the handicapped, plays favorites with his children, is a terrible parent, demanded blood sacrifices, and forced rape victims to marry their rapists. If I knew him, I would spit in his face.
"Marriage provides permanence and security for children, and those are extremely important for children’s well-being,” said Perrin, a professor at Tufts University School of Medicine who specializes in the developmental behavior of children. “(Marriage) allows them to grow up in an environment in which they’re confident of the solidity of their family and the fact that their family is just like every other family of kids they know in school.”
I think the exact same thing can be said for any child, not just children of gay parents...hello this not new information
Maybe not for you, but for those saying that letting gay parents adopt and marry because it "harms" children this is pretty important information. That was the entire point of the article.
Just seconding Kris, here, for anyone who missed it the first time. It's important.
This is wonderful. Especially saying that 30 years of research has been analyzed. It's hard to dispute that. Also, coming from a pediatrician with a specialty in developmental behavior in children- that really says something. Finally, medicine and the American Academy of Pediatrics is supporting what many people have be observing for years. As an individual, I've had friends with same sex parents who are happy and well adjusted- just my anecdotal evidence. Hopefully, this will give those against same sex marriage and same sex parents pause before they jump to the conclusion that different is bad. Families and how children have been raised has evolved over the years- why not allow something that allows for more children to be loved and cared for?
You have just met several dozen...right here!
We would have greater success in allowing for more children to be loved and cared for by providing an incentive for the MAN and WOMAN who created them, to take responsibility for their care. Or perhaps to even consider those responsibilities BEFORE they enter into a relationship or engage in behavior which has the potential for such creation. But what would we call this incentive? We call it MARRIAGE. And we devalue, and deminish it when we presume that its ONLY purpose is to validate just any sexual relationship.
Bob, did we devalue freedom when we gave it to African Americans?
So many people cheering for an anhorrent lifestyle.Amazing that they think A merica likes them beyond public political correctness rather than private opi nion where what these folks really believe comes out.Still have not met a person in favor of gays,let alone gay marriage,and I get around and have lots of close friends.
Much of it depends on where you live and the social groups you interact with. I grew up in a conservative Christian community, and EVERYONE was against gay people. As I got older, I started to meet plenty of gay people and folks who supported them. I wasn't always in favor of gay people or gay marriage, but once I met a few and befriended them, I realized that I had been terribly wrong. Now, one of my closest friends is gay, and I'm very much looking forward to the day when he will be able to marry the man he loves. Maybe you should try talking to a gay person, just to find out what they're really like, before deciding they're abhorrent.
It's great that you changed your view. And I don't want to offend you. But you only changed your view because you did something that you're not allowed to do: Question religious authority and think for yourself. I'm curious (really) how do you reconcile your current views of gays with your religion? Is your religion wrong? Is the current interpretation of your religion wrong? Are you wrong? Is there really some way for both views to work together? Honest question. I try to get religious folks I know to walk your path, so I'm really interested in how you came to choose it on your own.
You would be surprised Sid, how many times the polls on gay marriage don't really represent how people really feel about the subject. Much of the time, it is simply a matter of people finally throwing up their hands saying, "Fine, do what you want, MARRY who you want, just shut up about it already". I think for most, it is simply the non stop hammering, hammering, hammering, and more hammering away at the subject, and at the deeply held, conservative and historically Christian beliefs on the subject. Also, is the concept the most cunning politician learned early on: Keep saying something long enough, and eventually it will become the truth. ANY catchphrase will do, or reports from this expert or that expert states such and such. The media could constantly bring up doubts and arguments on whether or not man actually landed on the moon, and before long, we would have an even split in this country on the subject.
Not siding with one side or the other, just stating a truth.
Gay people are great.... they definitely contribute to society... but I do not believe that legalizing gay marriage is the answer to the problems we face with ensuring the well-being of our kids.
Maybe not to ensure the well-being of your kids, but it certainly couldn't hurt mine!
They're not abhorrent-only their lifestyle is.
Nearly half of my college friends (and present-day friends) are gay men, and I assure you, my friends are neither "abhorrent" nor do they share a "lifestyle." Frankly, I am past the point where I can be kind to people like you. Stop insulting perfectly good people. STOP trying to make their lives hell. I can also go on about the stereotypical "abhorrent conservative Christian lifestyle," a life of ignorance, hypocrisy, promiscuity, ignorance, bigotry, fear, racism, and yet more ignorance. I can only hope that neither you nor your dear friends fit the stereotype.
It's odd how you are at odds with nature....well maybe not. That's why you are gay and unbalanced.
Lord, please clarify exactly what "gays do to children". I'm sure we'd all love to know.
Why do you call Christianity "conservative"? You are viewing it from a political lens that is all wrong. True Christianity is a radical faith; it is the fulfillment of the Jewish Law as brought about by a radical Jewish rabbi who showed the only way back to the Holy Father. We all fall short! And so do you! So before you tell us that you've had it being kind to us, look in the mirror! Once you acknowledge your own shortcomings and ask God to remove them from your life, your views will start to change.
Children shouldn't understand intercourse of any kind. That's for adults to understand. And just a reminder – "gay" doesn't only mean 2 men. It also means 2 women, including the kind that hundreds of thousands of straight men find awfully intriguing when watching adult films. You guys still think we're abhorrent?
I think you are hot.
Not to be to personal in a public forum. But where do you live? I am not going to criticize the place. I just dont want to accidentially find the place. It must be a horrible community to live within..
@Jeff-actually live in a pretty nice place where people keep their personal preferences private,instead of running around trying to tell others what to think.Kind of glad someone like you avoids wherer I live,thanks.
Really? People where you live keep their personal preference private? While I'm no fan of extreme PDA, I assume, then, that neither same-sex nor opposite-sex couples do any of the following outside of their homes: hold hands, walk arm-in-arm, kiss, get married, announce their marriages in the local paper, flirt, sit close together, gaze lovingly at one another, etc. How sad for all of you. Here where I live, we don't walk around so repressed. On the contrary, couples are welcome to express their caring for one another in all sorts of publicly acceptable ways. So glad I live here and not there!
I very much doubt that it's a nice place to live if the residents hold such bigoted opinions. And before you assume I'm a whiny lesbian, I'm straight.
Doesn't seem like a great place, actually, 55. Sounds like it is full of intolerant, close-minded people who base their thoughts and actions off of what they are told by like-minded individuals and not what can be learned by opening up their mind and amplifying their experiences. Your rampant spelling and grammatical errors also indicate that perhaps the level of education where you live is in need of a tune-up.
@XAB & Eelid- Never said we dont have gays,what I said is people here respect others privacy and dont try to shove their opinions i n other peoples faces . Unlike you,we're not angry that the whole world isn't gay and we are especially proud of the fact that both opinions are respected unlike gays are.Just cause your gay dont make you open minded and you seem to be pretty narrow.
Actually, we're just trying to shove FACTS into your faces since apparently you and your kind seem to have some sort of force field around you that refuses to let them penetrate your simple little minds. Though I don't know why we bother, it didn't work with evolution.
evolution didnt create gays,not having the perserverance to work at a relationship with someone of the opposite sex did.also,not being able to control oneself is a contributing factor.the gay is okay arguement is a total falsehood.
@fiftyfive, let's clear this up. You said that you find the "gay lifestyle," whatever that means, "abhorrent," and that you "still have not met a person in favor of gays,let alone gay marriage,and I get around and have lots of close friends."
You then said that "people here respect others privacy and dont try to shove their opinions in other peoples faces . Unlike you,we're not angry that the whole world isn't gay and we are especially proud of the fact that both opinions are respected unlike gays are."
How can you claim that you are "proud of the fact that both opinions are respected" when, according to you, no one holds the opposite opinion that gays are not "abhorrent"? "Abhorrent" is a strong word; look it up. You can't respect what you find abhorrent...
...and you don't respect it. In your own words, "opinions are respected unlike gays are." Wow.
Aside from all that, how can you even claim to respect an opinion when you simply don't "get" that opinion? You are clearly laboring under the delusion that people who disagree with you and your loved ones are "angry that the whole world isn't gay." No, dude. This is not what people believe.
So yes, I get it, you don't respect gays and your friends and neighbors feel the same way. You want to "shove" your bigotry "in other peoples faces," or you wouldn't be here, embarrassing yourself, so please don't try to take the moral high ground and claim that you are somehow "accepting" of anything other than your own personal bigotry.
btw, I would also like to know where you live so that I can avoid it. I am a straight, middle-aged, stay-at-home mom with two kids, in case you are interested.
An awful lot of damage was done to the perception of the gay community when the male half accidentally discovered HIV and then didn't work real hard to change their behavior to stop transmitting it. As anything resembling a majority view that is in the past, I think. But to the extent that there is a "community," they don't do as much as they could to publicly shame bad behavior.
A few years ago, when gay marriage was just becoming a social issue, I didn't see what the probelm was. Gay marriage was, just like heterosexual marriage, a social contract between two consenting adults. What I had issues with was allowing gay couples to adopt or have children by artificial insemination. Not that I was against it, but because the children were not consenting to the arrangement, I wanted to hear a debate about whether or not this was a good thing for the children. After years of discussion, even those who oppose gay marriage admit that children are better off being raised by a gay couple than foster parents (see the trial transcript for California's Prop. 8).
Unfortunately, kids never get to consent to whom their parents might be. I don't think any child would consent to abusive or alcoholic or negligent parents. So, I don't think this is a valid argument.
Straight people's marriages are never up for deliberation or vote – see, e.g., Britney Spears and Kim Kardashian or Larry King. And children never get a vote as to whom they are born to (see, e.g., children of rape victims). So I am afraid your argument is inherently discriminatory and should be reanalyzed.
It isn't my argument. It's the one admitted to by the group defending California's Prop 8 in court.
So what your saying is that a PERMENANT home is better than a TEMPORARY home. No $h!+. Here's a question. Which is BETTER? A loving, caring, stable home with both a child's BIOLOGICAL Mother and Father, or a loving, caring, stable home WITHOUT one or both of them. No one questions that stability, and love are nessecary to raising children, however the SOURCE of that love and stability is EQUALY important. Saying that the love of anyone else is "just as good" as the love from the only two individuals who are biologically "programed" to love you, is like saying a prosthetic is "just as good" as your OWN limb. I don't think "gay" people are bad parents. I just think that as a society, we OWE our children the BEST.
Read the article closely.... it says that IF children are going to be raised by an LGBT couple that a married one is better. Well.... DUH! That statement applies to all children regardless of the orientation of the parents. A strong loving stable home will always give the child the best chance (and yes, some homes are just bad and some children form bad homes excel).
Your comment is an excellent argument in favor of gay marriage. If society is going to allow LGBT couples to raise children (and it is), then society should allow LGBT couples to marry for the benefit of the children that society has allowed them to raise.
As a 43 year old man I look back and think what it was like growing up. I grew up in a dysfunctional, non loving, almost dangerous environment. Both my biological father and stepmother were straight. I was forced out of my home at the age of 14. When I look back I wonder how I made it this far. What did I do wrong to deserve this environment growing up?
I would trade those years to be raised by a loving gay couple ANY DAY!
The irony is that for some reason it is the marriage that provides the security for the children, but aren't they committed to each other despite the marriage pact? And kids look around and see divorce, which is a result of marriage. I'm all for marriage, but it doesn't change the ultimate relationship of people. Either they are stable are they aren't, even with a marriage certificate.
The reason marriage is so important is the rights that go along with it. A dear friend of mine as a child had her two moms spit, and the biological mom took her, moved to a different city, and never let the non-biological mom (or any of the rest of us) see her again. With no marriage, there's no custody rights, so her other mom couldn't do a thing, she just lost the child she'd raised from birth, with no recourse.
The problem with a gay relationship is the kids do not see both sides of a natural biological relationship and the differences of gender and association.
Are they raised in a genderless bubble? Can't a child learn how a person should treat their spouse and children from watching loving gay parents? Remember, gay folks learned how to love and trat THEIR spouses and raise their chidlren from watching their own usually straight parents.
Some things cross all lines, gener and otherwise.
I recommend you take a class on gender studies before purporting to know about them. You'd be surprised that male and female are not the whole story.
Really? You think the only exposure kids have to relationships is their parents?
I personally give 100% of the credit for the success of my own marriage to having grown up in a loving, caring environment that showed me every day how equal partners ought to treat each other. My husband always says how amazing it is that he's got two mothers-in law- and they're both cool!
Glad to hear this but am not surprised. There have always been "different" families, i.e., grandparents rearing the kids, dads by themselves, other family members, a sister and brother "team", sisters, etc., etc., and basically it doesn't matter who it is as long as they are loved, well nourished, have a stable environment and are accepted by the rest of society. People need to get over their unwarranted fear/hate of gay people. There have always been gay people, always will, they are everywhere and it is time people realaize they aren't going away and to accept/embrace them! I'm not religous myself but cannot understand the hate/ignorance/fear that churches instill in their flocks. It is not good for society. We need to love one another and accept our differences. We are all part of the same universe/world.
Exactly. I was raised by a happily married couple, but we lived within a mile of my mother's two brothers and her sister, all of whom helped to raise me. I've sometimes said that, for all intents and purposes, I had three fathers and two mothers.
Families come in all varieties. Saying that one model is the only way to go is so silly.
Ok...here comes the" gay conspiracy" theories. Baseless Data..gay professionals...sodomy...immorality...You should be embarrassed to even post your comment. You are a bigot and a hater.. We are supposed to be figuring out what is good for our children and our next generations. Not slamming the work done by the AMA, APA, etc. I will take the AAP's recommendations over you anyday. On second thought... keep posting...it truely shows how ignorant your thought process is.
All children have two biological parents, one male and one female. What is always best for the child is for them to be raised in a loving household by their married biological parents. I understand that is not always possible. Sometimes we need to settle for something else.
I don't think the AMA or APA have a "gay" agenda. They are associations tasked with determining medical recommendations based on medical and scientific data.
Same sex couples average 7 years, while heterosexual couples average 14 years duration. Kids of same sex couples will suffer from a temporary, non-monogamous and serially attached, non-biological parent pair.
50% of straight marriages end in divorce. By your reasoning straight marriage sounds like a risky venue for raising kids to me.
My moms have been non-married for 25 years now. They raised me right, and then took in my cousin who's totally-married-and-appropriate straight parents were also mentally ill and unable to care for her, and raised her, too. My "temporary non-biological parent" (who has been my mom since I was 5) walked me down the aisle at my own wedding. How come I can get married and raise kids, but the people who taught me everything I know about doing those things right still can't?
Siani – I'm a 61 year old straight (married 35 years) woman who totally supports what you and your moms have been through. Be assured that I'm not the only one my age who thinks it is totally "okay" for gay people to get married and rear children. Some people will just never "get it". They are blinded by their fear and religion. Good luck to you and yours!
Dont forget the sky high suicide rate among gay men when they realize they are living an abhorrent lifestyle.
Well, my mother and father only lasted about 10 years. My two mothers (my biological mom and her partner that is) have been going for 15 years strong now. As a whole, my siblings and I are much closer to our step-mom than our father, despite him being their for our inital years of life (he was the one who left us. Note that I do not say my mother, I say us, because he moved halfway across the country to live with the woman whom he cheated on my mother with. We were lucky if we saw him even once a year after that).
Let me assure you that children from opposite sex couples also suffer attachment issues when their biological parents seperate. Other than the blood relationship, divorce tends to affect children regardless. So what I'm wondering is what exactly is your point? Because, you know, several children have heterosexual parents that remarried and then divorced again for whatever reason, and they remain attached to their step-parents even afterwards as well. I still see no difference.
For years, I suffered from the illusion that gay people rarely separated, or divorced. I don't know why I thought this, but I think it was just the assumption that since they were of the same gender, they would naturally get on each others nerves LESS. Kind of like lifelong fishing or hunting buddies almost never getting into fights. Or women.... well, never mind that one. They constantly cat fight over nonsense.
iinvestigator.... I suppose that 30 years of medical data is superseded by your bigoted opinion? People like you need to look in your closet and see what skeletons are hiding there. Most people that are anti-gay generally aren't sure of their own gender bias. Maybe it's time you had a look. You make it sound like gay people are diseased. Get over yourself.
This study was released by a medical professional with 45 years of experience. The agenda was to show that kids living in a same sex environment were better off than kids that have one parent. You need help, today, you should seek it.
I would be very concerned about 2 gay men wanting to adopt a boy. To me it seems way to risky for the child.
Are all males who raise children suspect in your mind, or just if there is two of them in a home? Is it odd for a man to want to be a father, and is that desire cause for serious concern in your mind?
I guess the internet reception works well under that bridge.
You seem to be confusing pedophilia with parenting.
Actually most pedaphiles are in heterosexual relationships. Your risk of being sexually abused drops if you have gay parents. Crazy, huh?
Ridiculous! How many children have been molested by heterosexual parents? Just because a man or a woman is attracted to someone of the same gender doesn't mean that they are attracted to children. Please educate yourself.
Peter, I think I know what you're going to say, so here's the truth: According to the Dept of Justice, 99.999% of all molesters identify themselves as STRAIGHT.
Why is that? Do you feel they will use the child as a toy? Do you feel that they will teach him to be gay?
@Mei-I guess I'l have to respect your opinion,just the same as you have to respect mine,so if I find gays to be offensive,I have the same protections under the law that says you also have to respect my wishes,this IS a two way street,and so is the argument.
Are you arguing that you have protections under the law to be a bigot? Sure, you can be as bigoted as you want at the ballot box, but your bigotry has harsh repercussions for innocent people that YOU as a person should be taking into consideration. Unless you are sociopathic, which I am not ruling out based on your comments.
@xab-You seem to be the bigot here,just because I don't think the same as you doesn't make me a bigot but when you tell me I can't believe what I believe, well ,that not only makes you a bigot b ut a nazi also.
First of all, the glue/mirror argument is something that 1st graders use when debating. Time to put that one aside. That was almost 50 years ago. Second, your actions make you a bigot, not that you disagree with me. You have stated clearly that, despite evidence smack to the contrary in this very article under which you are posting, you find the gay "lifestyle" to be abhorrent and harmful and do not want gaysto be able to be married. This is despite evidence that marriage between gays leads to a much happier and socially productive family unit. Your reasoning stated for your conclusions is that you find gays disgusting. I also think you don't know what a Nazi is. You can believe in whatever you want, but you should try to be a better person and open up your mind and see how your actions/votes can hurt people. Try to understand people before assuming the worst.
I do not have to respect any opinion that is based on fear and hatred rather than evidence.
Elide… The only opinion that even matters is God's opinion. If you disagree with man's opinion, nothing will happen. But if you disagree with God's opinion, you'll end up in hell…
Sorry, but any God that would condemn love is not a God that is worthy of worship.
A perfect being does not create imperfect beings and then punish them for those imperfections.
Can you prove anything you have said in this post?
@CJ-Why would I want to be around people I think are disgusting anymore than you would ?
It used to be that black people were disgusting. And interracial couples were disgusting. Now people realize that it was their own ignorance that created that opinion, not reality. You have been conditioned to think gay people are bad. Someday, hopefully soon, people will realize that this opinion is unfounded and their blinders of ignorance will be removed so that they will realize that gay people are exactly the same as anyone else. Everyone has preferences and differences. This is nothing more than diversity. And please don't use "christianity" as your rationale for this being wrong. The United States is NOT a Christian country and therefore Christian ideals (or any any other religious ideals) can play no role in law.
@just sarah-you sound like the pipe dreams of a beauty queen in a pageant.
If you truly wish to avoid being around people who are disgusting, with the world being full of them, I would suggest you spend your life locked in a basement – except you'd still be there.
The American Academy of Pediatrics is what? Are serious?????
@ Xab-your a pretty confused person,especially guilty of throwing accusations and insults at people who dont agree with you.What you justify is in your mind,not others .You are the most guilty of the very thing you accuse me and others of being,bigoted because we dont agree.
I don't think it means what you think it means
sup got it right. You tried to turn the tables, but you had no idea what was on them. Pointing out someone is being a bigot doesn't make you a bigot.
A child comes from a man and a woman.So there should be involvement of both man and woman to bring up a child.
What happens if one day everyone in this world just decide to be gay? I think that is totally against eco system and this earth will come to an end.I guess we human beings are more intelligent than animals.!
What a ridiculous statement.
... why on earth would the entire world suddenly decide to be gay?
If it's that easy to suddenly decide to be gay, can YOU decide to be gay for awhile to prove it? No one has been able to do that so far, but they make it seem so easy.
I had two moms AND a dad. Worked out great! I'm a successful adult with multiple degrees and a very happy straight-marriage. Not confused at all. I hope soon to make my moms very happy by bringing them a grandbaby- and what a lucky kid THAT will be. Two grandpas and three grandmas!
What on Earth could be wrong, where there is love and peace in the home?
Priya, nobody "decides" to be gay. You are BORN gay or straight, simple as that.
All I can say is that before you judge other lifestyles, I think we have much to work on with the heterosexual ones. Would raising a child in an abusive heterosexual house be better than a loving gay household? Came from a traditional alcoholic, wife beating heterosexual family.ended in divorce. Just always hoped that other children had better lives than the one I grew up with no matter who was raising them.
Conservative Christians are always trying to legally force their morals upon others.
Hitler also always found justification in his evil actions.
Seriously? Like the whole gay marriage thing isn't trying to be forced on the whole country legally? So what is your justification for that evil action? Equality? Fairness? Justice? See how easy it is?
If you don't want Gay marriage then don't have one! Simple as that. Next argument.
maybe what you need to do is stop living in the archaic times, put down that black book of lies you call the "bible" and return to the real world. If we are to create a world of peace and freedom, then that includes everyone. To do otherwise would mean any one who fights for peace and freedom are merely fighting for nothing. Open your mind to the changes in the world, for if you can't, and continue to rely on a book to save your life, you were born in the wrong century.
I just posted this, but I saw your comments and wanted your opinion?
Why does a gay marriage have to be called a marriage?
Marriage is a biblical thing. Why can't we just gay marriage a civil-union and give both parties all the straight relationship benefits.
Children may have a desire for a parent of each gender, but there's no proof they suppress that desire. Each family is different, of course, but many same-sex couples recognize their children can benefit from a loving adult role model of the opposite gender and will make the effort to ensure their children have access to such people– grandparents, aunts and uncles, or even Big Brother/Big Sister (my daughters were part of the Big Sister program, for example; for one girl is was great, for the other girl it wasn't).
My parents should have never had kids, and I am among those who wish I'd been adopted into a nicer family. But I survived and here I am in spite of crappy parents. I suspect most kids do better in homes where they were sought after, wanted, and loved than they do in homes where they were "accidents" and actively unwanted.
"You are going to be adopted by a loving couple today!"
"Oh yeah? What sex are they?" – Said no child in foster care, ever.
and maybe the child SHOULD have a choice if he/she is aware enough of the world to ask such a question
Gay lifestyle is just so vile. Subjecting easily manipulated children to it is even more vile. Not buying it. Ever.
No one is asking you to "buy" anything.
Also, please define "the gay lifestyle."
Ahhh, Lord Toronaga, believe it or not, there is not one single thing that gays 'do to eachother' that straight couples don't also do to eachother. And since statistically, there are a lot more straight couples than gay couples, there's a lot more of those Awful Things being done by straights than gays.
Exactly what "lifestyle" do you mean? My two moms enjoy baseball, gardening, and antiquing. One sells cars and the other is a beekeeper. They have a nice little house in the suburbs, volunteer frequently, and are great parents and neighbors. Is that the lifestyle you're referring to?
Which of the 2 moms should be called 'dad'?
It takes a village to raise a child, but not Greenwich Village.
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks." ~Shakespeare
Opinions and study papers run rampant in todays society. One study shows one thing one week, only to be overwritten the next week. There is legitimate proof that children do best with a mother and a father, but like all couples and families, it still depends on the parents. Anyone can find someone to agree with their views some where, and even a study or two to back them up, but peoples opinions have very little influence on the real facts.
ohhhh ... I will add that there are always a few exceptions to every rule, but they are not the mainstream ... they are exceptional.
This is the most rediculous headline I've seen in a long time. Kids benefits from having stable, loving parents regardless of the parent's sexual orientation. They spent 30 years and millions of dollars to validate common sense! What a waste.
Well, it makes total sense, but it's obviously not so common, judging from all the freakshow comments on this and other message boards.
There is NO scientific proof, yet. You would have to wait unti these children are well into childhood to make a real determination – and someone would actually have to do a study and follow numerous families.
Turns out, they have. This is not the first of these studies. The USA is not the first country to consider legalizing gay marriage. Many other countries allow it, and are able to study its effects.
There aren't any.
OMG what the he11 is wrong with you? You so obviously didn't read the article yet you decide to embarrass yourself with complete and utter ignorance. I'll give you a hint – it's called "30 years of scientific research." But no, you know, just go ahead and stick to your prejudices.
Why not just combine HLN and CNN & call it GNN – Gay News Network? After all, there is less blabbing about gay-ism on Logo (the gay channel on DirecTV) than there is on HLN or CNN!
Hold on CNN, April fools isn't here yet! Silly jokesters..
It's not about being married. it's about caring for your kids and making sure they grow up to be responsible adults.
The folks who live down the street from us are a married hetero couple. She does just a little bit too much with her two boys and for whatever reason kids in the neighborhood don't want to play with them. The father is hardly seen with them and it seems they don't do a lot as a family.
On the other hand, I work with one woman who is now, after 15 years opf partnership planning on marrying her partner this summer, and their kids are incredibly well behaved and they seem to find a lot of time to be there for them.
i get tired of the "it takes a village" speech. No it takes a f-ing parent to do their job. As for the village statement im single so dont push your brats off on me.
Marriage provides security and permanence? The divorce rate would like to disagree with that statement. What does the American Academy of Pediatrics have to say about the well being of children who have to watch their parents go through a divorce?
It's better to come from a broken home than to live in one.
Have there been any studies of how parents' sexual orientation influences the sexual orientation of their kids? Is it more likely that kids of gay parents are more prone to being gay themselves?
no no no...i think that gay couples are great...it means less children being born and more adopted (maybe) and it could be a way to get population control going. If only China and N Korea would start this new fad.
I'm delighted that this study supports gay marriage. But the whole argument is still wrong. If we base the legal ability to marry on what is best for the children, then we'd have to outlaw an awful lot of straight marriages, too. How about forbidding marriage to alcoholics, recreational drug uses, convicted felons, movie stars, white supremacists, smokers, the Kardashians, people who put three year olds in beauty pageants, and anyone like Honey Boo Boo's parents? To single out gay couples as INHERENTLY bad for children is just a pseudo-scientific facade for Christian fundamentalism. Some parents are bad, some are good. But their sexual orientation is not a relevant factor in any case. And it is NOT the role of government to regulate parenthood. I'm surprised (well, not really) that I need to explain this to "small government" Republicans. Of course, they're only "small government" when it comes to taxes, while they are "HUGE government" when it comes to imposing their social values on everyone else.
Do we really believe being 'married' is the reason why children do better? No way......it all comes back to if you have two loving parents..... regardless of marriage.
How convenient to show two lesbians laying on the grass at a very comfortable distance from a little boy. God forbit they would show two bearded men cuddling one. Even a picture screams Man + Woman NOT any other way. Nice try.
Two is better than one; as long as the environment is consistent, stable, and nurturing.
If two parents is good – how about 3, 4, or even more parents? The polygamists are next in line....
Most people know the difference between two, and more than two. Do you?
Yes, it does make sense for a child to have two individuals in the family to care for the children during the early years. However, as they say in the article children will feel as if their lives are the same as the other children in school but the reality is
that their lives are not the same. So, what happens on the playground when a little boy says to his friends that he has two
dads or two moms? The other childrens reactions will absolutely be less than desirable after hearing this. Consider what the child will be subject to after this 'secret' is revealed. Essentially, being gay is a choice and is absolutely against the natural order of the universe. This fact is so obvious it is difficult to understand there is so much controversy with this issue.
Just because you personally believe something doesn't make it a fact. Do you have personal experience with the issue?
"Marriage provides permanence and security for children, and those are extremely important for children’s well-being"
Which has nothing to do with how government recognizes their relationship. For the record, I don't think government should be defining anything beyond civil unions, tax advantages for married couples (now civil unions) reduced, and that gay/lesbian couples be granted the right to enter into civil unions. As with everything else, we're so caught up in what government is calling people's private relationships, that we don't ask ourselves why government is even involved in the first place.
As a person that was the child of divorse I only have one word for what parents do to a kid . "Devastation"! No one can tell me how bad it can get because I lived the horror of not enough to eat, not enough mental and educational help from 2 parents . If you are going to get a divorse during your marriage don't have kids ! There have been times I actually wish my parents never put me on this earth , and I am far from being alone . Every person I have ever know that was adopted turned to liquor or drugs to cope . Parents that get a divorse and have kids on this earth than abandon them should be put in prison . Because they put their kids into a mental prison for life !
Adopted. Not into drugs or drink. Having good parents is the key.
Children need mothers and fathers.
Children need loving and commited parents. The genitals those parents are equiped with are of little consequence to their parenting skills.
“Marriage provides permanence and security for children..."
“(Marriage) allows them to grow up in an environment in which they’re confident of the solidity of their family..."
Come on, Dr. Ellen Perrin, do you know what the divorce rate is in the US?
•Marriage rate: 6.8 per 1,000 total population
•Divorce rate: 3.6 per 1,000 population (44 reporting States and D.C.)
Sources: Births, Marriages, Divorces, and Deaths: Provisional Data for 2009, table A [PDF – 159 KB]
National Marriage and Divorce Rate Trends (data shown are provisional 2010)
See me reply below. I totally agree.
“(Marriage) allows them to grow up in an environment in which they’re confident of the solidity of their family and the fact that their family is just like every other family of kids they know in school.” Gee, that statement makes solo parents feel great. Those of us that are struggling alone – due to the death of a spouse or abandonment of a partner – to give our family a sense of solidarity and normalcy don't have time to go out trolling the bars looking for a marriage partner so our kids can feel the "normal" that you are advocating! I can GUARANTEE you that these kids feel they are a "family" despite not having two parents. Please don't make statements like this to isolate these great kids.
I'm a conservative, and this whole thing is ridiculous, if two gay women can have a baby then two gay people should be able to adopt. I really dont know where the backlash on this comes from, the news will say it republicans, but ive yet to meet anyone who is anti gay rights. Both my left and right friends religious and athiest dont have problems with any of these topics. must be a southern right wing thing I really dont get it.
Yes, I've been saying this for years! We need to spend our time and resources on strenghthening families and family planning for young people. We need to discourage women from becoming single parents by providing birth control and teaching them about responsibility and accountability and teaching boys about the role they play in family planning. We need to make it harder to get on welfare, there should be some sort of work requirement or volunteer program in order to get welfare for both the mom and dad so they contribute something and discourage them from just popping out kids. There needs to be a movement directed at promoting and supporting traditional family values.