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July 30th, 2012
01:09 PM ET
Your thoughts: Plastic surgery for bullied kidsWould you allow your kids to change their appearance because they are being bullied? Does giving these children plastic surgery send the wrong message - or the right one? Watch Dr. Sanjay Gupta's special report and share your thoughts below!
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Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love. Recent Comments
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Seems those kids couldn't find another fault in her, if they had to result to pick on her ears. Sad and pathetic that kids stoop that low. I may not agree with it fully. I would never alter my appearance because some bully says I'm ugly. "For every time you call me ugly, you become much uglier in personality." That's how I would think. I'm glad it worked out for her, what's done is done. But I think this should become too big of a trend, once it's done it's done. And there's no telling what may go wrong in a "safe" procedure.
I wanted a nose job so badly when I was a teenager. I thought my nose was huge and bulbous, and I began saving for a nose job for when I turned 18. However, I ended up growing into my nose, and now, I love how my face looks; I'd look weird with a smaller nose. That's the problem with plastic surgery for kids: you never know if it's going to work when they're adults. I'm totally fine with fixing her ears, but why in the world did they need to do her chin and nose, too? Now she looks boring, with no distinguishing features.
For all those people judging children for getting these procedures done and their parents for allowing it, have you stopped and thought of being in that situation? Going through each day and being tortured to the degree that you feel ugly? No, I am fortunate enough to say I was never bullied because of my looks, so honestly I'm not sure what my choices might be if I were in that situation. Those of you who say physical appearances and looks don't matter are fooling yourselves; stop and think about the amount of time you spend doing your hair, painting your nails, putting on make-up, and picking out your outfits - and I'm certainly not excluding myself! Think about what you did to perfect your appearance when you were younger. It's so hard for teens and young adults, who are busy not only with school and average kid activities but also with trying to figure out who they are and obtaining some kind of self-esteem. Can you truly say that if you saw your own child in that situation, you wouldn't even consider letting her go through with something that will make her feel beautiful both inside and out? I'm not suggesting young kids go through this type of procedure or that people should get every imperfection on their bodies fixed/altered, but if a kid reaches a certain age and truly feels that this is a way he could gain happiness, I think he should be able to make that decision. And someone like this girl having this procedure doesn't necessarily mean giving in to the bullies, but that she'll be able to look in the mirror and feel beautiful in every way, despite what the bullies say or don't say.
I was bullied for being over weight and for my name, endlessly as a child. My mother helped me see the beauty in being me, it was hard to take but I never let it get me down. I would never agree to let my daughters have surgery for anything not medically needed!! I know I'm not a model, but I also know I am beautiful the way I am. And my name? Yeah it grew on me 😉 I don't wear make up, I don't get my nails done and my hair is wash and wear, natural is beautiful!! I can only hope my daughters never lose the positive outlook that I've instilled in them so far.
Sounds to me like you, yourself, are shallow and seem to think everyone else is too. There isn't even any way to know if her original features would have made her a super model when she grew up anyway. And you know what's better than a beautiful supermodel? A girl who could care less and has learned to value better things.
I think that allowing children to change their appearance because of bullying is absolutely wrong. Not only are you essentially giving in to the bullies and agreeing that the feature they are picking on is ugly (big ears, big nose, ect.), but you are teaching children that unless they are beautiful and perfect, life will be difficult. Honestly, kids are mean no matter what and as soon as they fix one thing, the bullies will simply find another thing to pick on. Unless you address the bully directly, nothing is really being solved. Why should the victim change in this situation? The teachers, parents, and adults around this girl should have done something to the children attacking her.
I am 42 years old.... I was made fun of to the point of depression, it caused mental and emotional distress all my life. My parents did not have the means or money to help me. Good for this program and this little girl 🙂 Due to insurance and a deviated septum, and a kind Dr. who did the cosmetic portion at no cost. I was able to have my nose fixed at age 40. It was a huge deal and it changed me. I have been in counseling and I am a new person. So for those of you who judge; you likely will never understand the impact bullying can have on someone.
If there was a program to help my 21 year old college daughter, I feel it would make a difference in her life as well.
For decades, plastic surgery for teenage girls meant one thing - a nose job, frequently performed during the summer between high school and college. While rhinoplasty remains the most common cosmetic operation for teenagers, doctors are performing an increasing number of procedures such as breast implants, liposuction and tummy tucks on young women and even girls as young as 14. However, I still believe that teenagers should wait. Often their face will grow into their nose, or they will get used to it. But, if it makes someone feel better why not? Tony Dahlin Venice
If it's not her ears it will be her forehead...if it's not being to tall, it will be for being too short. Or fat. Or thin. The lesson learned is that 'it is ok to conform to peer pressure'. So when the kids find something else worthy enough to make fun of her for then what? She runs back to the doctor? She cries herself to sleep every night till the surgery? What if surgery can't help this time..........Strength from within?? What's that??
Most doctors, whether they are MD's or PhD's, sincerely believe, they are living in the "real world", as she angrily stated. I cannot help but wonder, when was the last time she smiled or laughed. I noticed a lack of smile wrinkles on her face. Maybe she should look up the term, humorless. I can help, "…adjective: old-fashioned, prim. Synonyms: Victorian, arrogant , bloated, conventional , dreary , dull , fusty, genteel , humorless , important , magisterial, musty"…(Thesaurus.com) . I have known people like that my entire life, and it is difficult to muster up the pity, I should feel. Tony Dahlin Venice
Honestly, I think this is awful. I'll spare you the rant about how the $50'000 her surgery, and the accommodations, airfare and food for her and her mother could have been spent on building schools in developing countries, or providing life-saving medicines to seriously ill children whose families can't afford treatment, or feeding homeless mothers and their kids, or any other cause that ACTUALLY does some good. First off, children and young teenagers are supposed to look a tad awkward, and maybe not what society calls "beautiful". Secondly, this is a fourteen year old girl. Sure, she's gotten her ears, nose and chin made to be hers and the surgeon's ideals, but what happens in five years when she decides her boobs aren't big enough? Or when she's getting married, and decides to get work done on her stomach and arms to look a certain way in her wedding dress? Or after she has her first kid and decides she wants liposuction? Getting plastic surgery does not give you self confidence. Having a great life in spite of being bullied, learning to love the body you've got, THAT is what gives you self confidence.
Also, all those who might disagree with me, and say that I just disagree with this because I've never known what it's like to be bullied and tormented for how I look..... Eat your hats, I most certainly have been. When I was in the 1st, 2nd and 3rd grades, it was the glasses, after that, I was the fat kid (I was actually never the heaviest kid in any of my classes, and most of my bullies were noticeably and significantly larger than me, which I realize only in retrospect). The bullying for being "fat" was so severe and lasted such a long time, I developed an eating disorder, which permanently stunted my growth, leading to being teased in high school for being short. Yes, I wished I could have gotten surgery to fix my eyes, make me skinny, and make me taller, everyone does. I know exactly what this girl is going through, possibly worse, because I developed anorexia because of my bullying. I know from experience that this girl would have grown up to be a much stronger person had she persevered through this. Instead, she will now never know what it is to grow into her own beauty. The doctors acted highly unethically and broke the Hippocratic oath, and the girl's mother made a very poor parenting choice, and this charity wasted a huge amount of money on a very poor cause. This is disgusting.
And no one thinks the bullies that picked on her before won't continue? Ha! Now they'll just make fun of her for being fake and plastic. And there's no surgery for that.
Wow, this is a tough issue... You're really not solving anything by giving the bullied kids plastic surgery but I suppose it IS showing the bullies the severity of their words and actions. It'll bring guilt to them, for sure, and maybe fix their behavior. But I doubt every bully will feel bad about it and it's just satisfying them to see this person change because of them; it gives them a sense of power. They may even insult the bullied kid more by saying how weak they are for getting plastic surgery (since it's not something that's considered acceptable in the U.S. that much), calling them "plastic" and "fake." Maybe I'm just making up scenarios but it seems possible. Not saying plastic surgery is horrible; it should just be considered as a last resort. If your child wants to commit suicide or is getting depressed because of how they look, by all means, help them out with plastic surgery. But parents should stay away from it as much as possible and really teach their kids how to defend themselves and be proud of who they are. It's not something easy to teach but that's a job for the parents, not the children.
I don't understand why she changed HER appearance. I would have re-arranged the bully's face.
Burns, thank you for making my day.
Depending on what they change it can help them out for their entire lives, adults are just as judgmental about ugly people. Might as well get it out of the way when youre young and still developing confidence. Unlike other things it does not get better, the only way it gets better is if you grow into your features and become socially acceptable (which most people do).
The people that think being ugly is fine and you can live just as good a life as an ugly person are delusional. Being ugly will affect your social status until the day you die. Nobody will casually start talking to an ugly person, nobody wants an ugly person to be their friend, even job interviews are a huge disadvantage, it requires a lot of effort on the ugly persons part to break down peoples barriers and become accepted.
No one can judge this girl or her mother. As a parent of a child with a speech impediment who has been teased–I firmly believe that anything we can do as parents to make our children happier and healthy should be done. How dare people pass judgement on others whose shoes they have not walked in. I felt horrible to hear my son cry because children made fun of his speech. Its a parent's worst nightmare to have their child bullied. It stinks.
blah blah blah, having self confidence and standing up to bullies doesnt change the fact that society thinks youre ugly and wants nothing to do with you. People that are actually ugly know the difference between being ugly and "not being perfect" unlike all the normals, all they want is to blend in.
There's no plastic surgery for children who are bullied because they are attractive. My 2 sisters and I were bullied because an obviously ugly (inside and out) girl knew that we were prettier than she. We did nothing to warrant this treatment except be attractive teenagers. She and her friends and others bullied us for five years. People will find any reason to bully a person. We was raised to "turn the other cheek" so that's what we did for five years until we moved from the neighborhood.
There's no plastic surgery for children who are bullied because they are attractive. My 2 sisters and I were bullied because an obviously ugly (inside and out) girl knew that we were prettier than she. We did nothing to warrant this treatment except be attractive teenagers. She and her friends and others bullied us for five years. People will find any reason to bully a person. We was raised to "turn the other cheek" and no fighting so that's what we did for five years until we moved from the neighborhood. There were no physical shortcomings, no serious overbites, no funny ears, or bugged eyes, etc.
she looked fine they way she was. They need to fix the clowns that were giving her grief. Need to drag their parents down to the jail and ask why this is going on! Why should a normal human have to change to avoid dysfunctional people!
Its obvious that people that are against it havent dealt with the problem of being bullied. I am 32 years old and I still have the scars of my high school years. I have a toe that is shorter than the rest in both feet, it can be fixed with surgery but because I dont have the economical sources I have lived with it. Although I remember when in high school we had to do sports and take showers with the other kids and they laughed about my toes, calling me names. Since then I lost confidence in myself, I never wear open sandals and I am very depressed that I cant enjoy the summers as normal people do. Barefeet or with flip flops. I am a supporter of this type of surgeries for kids. Those years are the most crucial in a person's life. Those changes dont modify features, they modify lives!
Are you all familiar with Darwin's theory of evolution? Not everyone is going to be gorgeous. Some people will get picked on, its part of life and has been since the dawn of time. If you end up killing yourself because you werent strong enough to take some heat from others, BLAME DARWIN. The strong survive and procreate. Not everyone "deserves a trophy" like all these kids nowadays get for every thing they do. Wake up parents, teach your kids if someone is picking on them to use whatever they have to to prove a point. Whatever happened to "sticks and stones my break my bones BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HURT ME"
I was bullied my entire childhood. I have always been overweight. Boys in elementary school would shout "EARTHQUAKE" when I walked down the hall. Popular girls would tease me and alienate me. I was once invited to a sleepover and the girl hosting the party told me that she only invited me because her mom forced her to. I was locked out of the room and had to sleep with her mother. I went through major depression and was suicidal from the age of 11-16. I realized that I have the power to change my own life. I decided to love myself. I am still overweight and would love to have weight loss surgery. The only difference now is that I want to change for me and not for others. I want to change myself because I want to be healthy. I don't feel there is anything wrong with wanting to improve ones appearance, but I think it’s important to do it for you and not for others. I am very happy with myself now. I am 27 with a Masters, a great job, engaged, and blessed beyond measure. Life gets better when you make the decision to take control. I think that is the most important lesson of all.
My son was judged and picked on for very prominent ears for many years. When we talked with him about his ears he said "If people don't like me because of my ears then it is their problem." We focused on his character and his fabulous personality. He asked in about 4th grade if he could maybe have surgery......for himself. He decided before 6th grade to have ear surgery. He put it like this....."I'm having braces for my teeth. What is so different?" He always wore his hair really shaggy to hide his ears. He continued with shaggy hair for a few more years and I honestly don't think many people have ever noticed the difference. We notice that it is a non- issue. He simply doesn't have to hide or not wear baseball caps or get bugged about it while swimming. He can just be a great young man. In hind sight, we would have had him have ear surgery much sooner......teachers, peers and others do judge children who have an obvious difference. They perceive them as not as likeable or intelligent. I wish it were different but studies prove what we lived. Fixing his ears was a simple way to make his true qualities more obvious. To anyone who says we don't judge people differently with prominent ears, simply stand in front of the mirror and hold your ears out and see how it radically changes your appearance. (As to the fixing of the young ladie's nose and chin, the doctor said with the ears fixed the off center nose would really be noticed. The chin......who knows. I trust his assessment as a compassionate doctor.)
Sorry but this is nonsense: I was called Dumbo as a child because of big ears and others made fun of my full lips and eyebrows. Guess what? I grew up and learned to pluck my eyebrows, cover my ears with my hair and show off my lips with deep red colour. I have never wanted to walk into a theater with a brace of guns and ammunition. If you try to fix what others say is wrong with you with will be at it your whole life: people can be nasty and often project their worst fears onto you instead of dealing with their own baggage and hope to feel betetr by making you, or somenoe else, feel small. Walk on by with your head high: someone will love and appreciate you the way you are so stop trying to make yourself into what others think is right. In short, screw them.
For me this can go both ways. As a parent, I would hate to see my children bullied as I am sure all parents would. And initial reaction would be to go "fix" whatever I can to make the emotional pain stop for my kids. Even if that meant surgery. And I was also bullied as a child as I am sure many people were and I "survived" but I still remember the torment and hateful things that kids said to me and the depression that came along because of it. Naturally we want to do whatever we can to protect our children from hurt but it also teaches valuable lessons. I am torn...
Wrong idea, surgery is NOT the answer, love &whatever compassion &whatever learning to love 1's self & some judo or karate will do wonders!
It is insane to have a generation that is willing to give up who they are for some picture that isnt even real
Allowing kids to have plastic surgery because of bullying is completely wrong. In a sense, it is the easy way out. I was bullied as a child, and I think that that was probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. Why? Because now I know how much I am worth and it definitely makes me a stronger person. We think that it will help our children because of the emotional pain that they go through, but in all honesty, we are just hurting them. There are mean people in our society, and if you really think about it, we can never change the way people are. What we can do is change the way we see ourselves. By allowing kids to change the way they look, we are just conforming to the way sociey sees beauty. Beauty is not what is on the outside, but what is on the inside. Yes, that sounds cliche, but if we allow kids to get plastic surgery because they are being bullied, our children will never know how much they are worth and we are sending the message that we have to look a certain way to be accepted in society. Our children will never know the meaning of being a strong person and standing their ground if they always search for a way to get rid of their problems. They should just confront their problems, and by doing that, they will be a stronger person.
This is pathetic. Kids are going to be mean regardless. It's the parent's job to support their child when they come home crying because they were bullied at school. I was always teased about my ears, teeth, and skin color! Not everybody is going to be nice to you. You have to learn how to deal with that yourself, and not rely on an outside source, especially plastic surgery. I would make fun of this girl JUST for getting plastic surgery. Accept yourself and find inner beauty. It takes a while to learn that, but I'm pretty sure at some point in the person's life they will learn that. So sad that someone would get surgery to change their looks, and especially at a young age. And it's sad that the parents supported that idea, no moral support for their child.
Unless my child had a severe deformity, which I would like to think I would correct in any event, I would not permit her to get plastic surgery due to bullying. It would be teaching her that not only was she not born a beautiful girl but that she is not a strong and independent woman who should have the self-esteem and self-worth to fight for her rights and deal with the cruel realities of the world in which we live. By providing her with the resource to change her physical attributes in response to the cruelty of bullies, it would be teaching her to avoid direct problem-solving and, in my mind, take an easier way out. Are we not better off confronting the problem itself by educating our children how to react and deal with being the recipient of cruel or hurtful actions, which we all face at some point in our lives? We also need to address what it teaches bullies when they are not held responsible and can potentially avoid criticism because the family of the bullied child takes matters into their own hands and turns to surgery to solve the problem. Are we not excusing the bullies’ behavior or even acquiescing in their beliefs that our children are defective by allowing their actions to go unchecked? Are the bullies then learning that they have the power to potentially manipulate others into taking drastic action simply because of the exploits of the bullies? Is this the kind of message we ever want to send? I think not. Like in other areas of life, we must teach our children balance. Our kids need to learn how to stand up for their rights without being cruel and insensitive themselves and deal directly with their problems without taking excessive measures to solve them.
i was dumb founded to the point of speachlessness at the very nerve of this story. Giving a child 3 different procedures, 2 that she didnt even think she needed until the wonderful doctor told her, for the sake of some free publicity, almost made me sick. i was teased as a child and i cant name anyone who was not teased but the moment you took it apon yourselves to make this correction, you gave all the power to the bully. You told that girl that her bullies were right and something is wrong with her and it can be fixed. we need to stop looking to the outside world to fix what is wrong inside. you take fighting out of schools to fix what now. i got into some of the best scraps of my life with my bestfriend, and a few others protecting the underdog. what i learned and everyone over 30 learned from all the bulling and fighting and skipping at school is that we can handle the real world, we have pushed those boundries and lived. what are you telling this little girl about the future bullies, what about that boss that says needs to step up more is she going to have an example to cope with that or is she going to quit cause shes not good enough the way she is. I am by no means trying to say anything bad about that child only using her as the needed example here. i hope she goes on to do amazing things and that she is beautiful always was and always will be. i have a 10 year old daughter that i tell that too everyday and the first time she says someone is teasing her at school or anywhere else i will be her advocate always.
This is definitely a hot topic and one that evokes strong emotions from parents. We regularly perform plastic surgery on adults who have lived for years with whatever they deem as needing "altering" on their body. In some cases, we deal with a deformity that resulted from an accident, trauma, or sports injury. Other times, the person may have been born with features that dominate their face and bring them grief. Others choose plastic surgery simply for enhancement as an elective procedure.
In this case, this poor girl was teased, bullied, and felt that she could no longer be around those kids because of their cruelty. She could not control their comments or make them go away, making both herself and her parents feel powerless to the situation happening day in and day out. I applaud the doctor who provided the surgery at no cost to the family. In extreme cases like this, if plastic surgery can be done safely on a child (such as using local anesthesia instead of local) in order to bring about a relief of emotional distress going on...this was something that will forever enhance the young girl's life and help her to open up to others rather than to avoid people for fear of being taunted.
Though we rarely operate on minors, parents can view our rhinoplasty blog (we also perform otoplasty, or ear pinning) to get more information at http://rhinoplastyny.net/blog/.
It's very sad that children have to be bullied into feeling that their only way out is to get plastic surgery. We see male teens with gynecomastia in our practices who endure the same level of bullying and teasing that the girl in this story suffered with. Parents and teens looking for more information about whether teens should undergo plastic surgery can read our blog post here: http://gynecomastianewyork.net/articles/gynecomastia-surgery-for-teens-causes-and-treatment/
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As they say, Plastic/Cosmetic surgery is a personal choice. However, you need to weigh all the possibilities that may happen. Cosmetic surgery may offer very promising results but it can’t be avoided that it also has some negative aspects. And you need to tackle these matters before you make those changes to your body. That is why, if you are really sure to pursue on getting cosmetic surgery, aside from thinking about the positive results you also need to look at the possible risks.
Dr Ahnsup Kim
http://www.advancecosmetic.com
As they say, Plastic/Cosmetic surgery is a personal choice. However, you need to weigh all the possibilities that may happen. Cosmetic surgery may offer very promising results but it can’t be avoided that it also has some negative aspects. And you need to tackle these matters before you make those changes to your body. That is why, if you are really sure to pursue on getting cosmetic surgery, aside from thinking about the positive results you also need to look at the possible risks.
Dr Ahnsup Kim
http://www.advancecosmetic.com
I am happy for the girl. I am a 21 year old male in college and have a long nose. I've been bullied since freshmen year of high school cause of my nose. Now i've been on antidepressants for 3 years. Every day someone either sniffs at me, or people will look at me and touch the point of their nose with their finger. I don't have a social life, and few friends. My nose has definitely impacted my life for the worse, furthermore my septum is deviated and i have really hard time breathing. Some people say a big nose builds character, but all it's done for me is diminish my self esteem.
Don't listen to those persons..i am sure youre a great guy that every woman needs..altohugh you may not be the best looking...you have other great qualities that make you who you are.dont worry..thank god for everything you have because you are blessed.
i get taunted for my looks now. I am 33 . If I had the money I would get it done. Anyone who says or judges anyone for this should consider the pain this causes. I am sorry you good looking people have no idea
I don't agree with surgery but I think if it becomes a big problem than it should be considered, in her case she wasn't ugly but there was a problem with her face, her nose was crooked and something wasn't normal, so for her it was a good choice to let her do it.
Plastic surgery is helpful for bullied students because it recovers the red marks on the face but sometimes it might be harmful for them depends upon face to face.
Plastic Surgery in Lebanon
Although I'm happy the girl feels more confident and beautiful, plastic surgery won't stop the bullies from bullying someone else. Then what? The bullying problem needs to be fixed, not the victims.
I can't get onboard with this. I can't get onboard with essentially siding with the bullies on how she looks. She said the bullies "pressured" her into getting major surgery with their taunting. That is astounding to me. What she needs is something that cannot be fixed with a scalpel. What she needs is a sense of self worth. This generation is a generation of victims. I empathize with her, I do, being bullied and taunted is painful. But if she doesn't learn how to meet those kinds of challenges as a child, she will be in for a rude awakening as an adult.
Affordable Plastic surgery in Tunisia Med Espoir is a Plastic surgery clinic based in Tunisia that welcomes patients from all over the world who come to Tunisia for a low cost surgical operation or an aesthetic surgery.
http://www.medespoir.net/
What's going to happen after? Does the bullying really stop? If they make fun of some other body part or maybe all will she be allowed to have plastic surgery? I use to get picked on because of my arm hair, wanted to shave it begged and cried to my mother. Her answer? No accept it or wait until your an adult. These kids will find something else to make fun of or you can deal with it yourself. I begged her, cried to her and you can tell she felt bad but still no. I finally snapped and coldly spoke to the kids and they actually laughed and told me finally your not quiet anymore. I moved on, than I wanted my nails to be painted when I was 10, my mother said no. She said no to things you wouldn't consider a big deal but to see parents who allow their kids to go as far as plastic surgery, physically changing their appearance is a bit shocking but not. Parents go too far to please their kids rather force them to accept themselves. What about kids who are picked on because of they are too tall or too short? They were picked on but soon had to accept it.
A plastic surgery for just the reason of being bullied? Really!! Parents shouldn't allow it. When i was 10 i was bullied because of my nose n skin color. I accepted it n now i am 16 n the bully n me r quite close frn. I mean its a not a child thing to do surgery guys. We shouldn't recommend it.
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