June 29th, 2012
01:37 PM ET
Are men 'sexually fluid'?
Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex weekly on The Chart. Read more from him on his website, GoodInBed.
In a new critically-acclaimed off-Broadway play, with a title too controversial for print, a gay man finds himself falling for a woman, which makes him - and his male partner - wonder whether he’s “really” gay after all.
Can a gay man who is sexually attracted to women still be gay? And what about straight men who get turned on by other men? Are men “sexually fluid”?
Female sexual fluidity - the capacity to move from romantic relationships with men to those with women, and vice versa - is well established, as I’ve previously discussed. Male sexual fluidity is less clear, yet it seems to be on the minds of many men and women. In fact, I’m often approached by women who are worried because they’ve caught their husbands or boyfriends looking at gay porn.
“Many straight men are just curious about gay sex and how it works... or are turned on by gay male porn but have no desire to actually have sex with a man,” he explains.
In other cases, straight men may be just looking for an anatomy lesson.
“In our data, fewer than 2% of straight men searched for both gay porn and straight porn,” says neuroscientist Dr. Ogi Ogas, who, as coauthor of the book "A Billion Wicked Thoughts," analyzed a billion Internet searches and other sources of sexual data. “Yet straight men do search for images of penises - especially large penises - almost as often as they search for vaginas.”
So it’s possible that these men aren’t necessarily interested in sex with other men, but are simply comparing their own anatomy to that of other guys.
A man could also be looking for new fantasies: If he’s a heavy porn user, a straight man may peruse gay porn as his ability to become aroused by straight porn ebbs and his tolerance to sexual imagery increases. Some guys say they surf porn the way they surf TV channels, and what they stop on depends on their mood or the interest level of the content itself.
It’s this tendency to focus on sex acts themselves, rather than gender, that partly helps explain male sexual fluidity, says Kort.
“Straight men may go to Craigslist and get turned on by the descriptions of sexual acts with other men, but aren’t actually turned on by the men themselves,” he explains. “This is what separates ‘mostly’ straight men from gay men.”
One thing is clear, though: Society is a lot less accepting of male sexual fluidity.
Elisabeth Loyd, an affiliated faculty scholar at Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction reports that many men themselves say they find their potential for sexual fluidity “very threatening.” And Kort tells me that he’s been criticized by some in the gay community for his view on male sexual fluidity because the concept of sexual fluidity implies that sexual orientation may be more a matter of choice than genetics.
Sadly, it seems that women are freer to explore sexual fluidity - either in fantasy or reality.
“Women have more permission to be sexually fluid, or even to just be physically loving and affectionate with female friends,” says Kort. “Men do not have these permissions without being labeled as forever ‘gay’.”
Indeed, we seem to feel the need to force men to define their sexuality as “gay” or “straight”. The results of a recent study in the journal Biological Psychology may help change that. The study demonstrated that some men who say they’re “bisexual” actually do get aroused by both men and women - a big change from an earlier study found no proof that male bisexuality exists.
And some research suggests that acceptance of both male and female sexual fluidity may increase with younger generations: According to Cornell University psychologist Ritch Savin-Williams more teenagers and young adults are avoiding such labels as “gay,” “lesbian” or “bisexual” altogether or are inventing new descriptions, such as “mostly straight.”
And living life, rather than focusing on labels, is a large part of what sexual fluidity is all about.
The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Ian Kerner.
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Ok class, once again the ABCs: 1. Sex is awesome. 2. The best thing about sex is intimacy rather than mere orgasm, with depth, relationship, spirituality and the possibility of higher ground. 3. Intimacy builds family and family builds stable societies that are more than transient fads. 4. You can get really good at sex and really bad at the possibility of relationship. 5. Remember that your culture uses sex to sell you things that will not make you happy, so please don't believe every tune, commercial,and movie that you watch. After the basic mathmatics comes quadratic equations, wave equations and Hamiltonian operators, but if you can't add or subtract you're not ready. Godspeed.
you must be a woman, or you are just a really femanine dude. spare us the spiritualaity, depth,emotional garbage, Why cant it be about just fun?
OKAY Dude... I tried to follw your logic man, but, like, I got lost after you went past the bakery... oh.. you didn't go to the bakery? Then this whole line of thinking is just knarly dude. You have way too much free time.
OK teacher. Sex is physical. Intimacy is not. Couples can be long-term intimacy without sex. People can have sex and share short-term intimacy. Thankfully, neither have time requirements!
I'm gonna stop here, and I think you should have stopped at 1. Sex is awesome...
Very well said, despite what anyone else may say. Society teaches us tha sex is merely a form of physical gratification but it can be so much more! Love is a selfless thing (as opposed to 'how do you make me feel?') and sex and that is motivated by selfless love is the ulitmate display of trust in a relationship. To reduce it to a merely a phsycial need is to doom yourself to miss out on one of the greatest joys in life!
keep good out of this....everyone needs to not worry about what others do in the bedroom. people should be treated the same no matter who they sleep with....everyone should be allowed the same rights – marriage, tax credit, etc no matter who they marry......lets stop the hatred.....get out of the darkages
Very well said. And quite true. Many people (those who are susceptible to advertising and easy sex) to aren't going to appreciate this.
I like looking at bi pr0n. Girl with two guys who are doing each other. I never actually look at the dudes, nor do I want to, it just turns me on to see a girl who would actually be part of that situation.
What a load. Must have a boring sex life.
I'm just filled with fluid.
It's Obama's fault !
Sorry Abdul but in 1980-1982 I was a bartender at a small town in northern Alberta that was the first stop on the way to Edmonton for oil patch workers who were on a 3 weeks on and 1 week off rotation. They always stopped and stayed in this town so they could begin drinking earlier. This situation put seven men for every woman in town and the girls were usually paired up with a local guy anyway.
I was bartending in a very popular bar and let me tell you it aint just the girls who get prettier at closing time. I was young , well dressed and social. I was offered, alcohol, drugs and money to go to a lot of these guys' rooms for a few hours which I didn't. This is a lot more common and known by professionals that the average man and woman would be comfortable talking about.
Stop gaying up America.
Judging by the CNN reports and other liberal gay media/news outlets, it would seems that 50% of America is gay. Maybe the old girls complaint is correct or close..."All the good looking ones are either married or gay." This is a "join the gay club" advertisement, not news or even a reasonably well thought out opinon.
"Don't be gay Sparky!"
"This is a "join the gay club" advertisement" Buddy, I think you are seeing what you want to see. There's no way that even fifteen percent of this country would come out. You either are, or you ain't, and nothing changes that. So come out and knock off the nancying around. And stop looking at my butt; I hate it when you gay guys look at my butt.
"implies that sexual orientation may be more a matter of choice than genetics."
What? It's ALL genetics. If you're gay, it's because of genetics. If you're straight, it's because of genetics. If you're bi (or is it now fluid?), it's genetics.
I don't know why people keep thinking that who a person is is somehow not related to genetics. We are the product of our genes and millions of years of evolution. Only in extreme, traumatic, cases is the way a person is not related to genetics.
More telling is the idea that we find it ok for two women to go at it but if two men go at it, then that's not right. Apparently we have no problem with women sucking on each others private parts but if two men do it, well then, that can't stand.
Gees folks, get over it. Every person is who they are because of their genes. Genes are what control our height, eye color, hair color, hair type (straight, curly, wavy, etc), how big our hands are, how big our feet are, how big our, um, wing wangs are, how big our breasts are, EVERYTHING.
It's true what they say about the average American being ignorant about basic science (in all its forms).
I think you may be more "ignorant about basic science" than you peg yourself.
One, if sexual orientation were purely "genetic" then, necessarily, only "straight genes" would get passed on and the "gay genes" would fade away. Now, the possibility that it is a fairly common mutation is more probable, but I don't believe that you can assign the cause as 100% genetic.
Two, all of the things you designated as determined by genetics indeed are, but then again all of those things (eye color, hand size, etc.) are physical characteristics. Sexual orientation is not a physical characteristic. Does that mean it's not determined at least in part by genetics? Not at all. But your supporting comparison was apples and oranges.
@Sam you are ignorant of genetics in general. It's not a simple as you seem to think it is.
Sorry I read a response from someone else, but someone says gay would just dissipate? Um, in;t it possible to pass without being the direct offspring? LIke if someone had a gay uncle, or cousin...
Truly, many gays are having babies... just because they are in more control of their breeding does not mean they aren't reproducing.
educated people in the field know it is nature AND nurture
your also so full of yourself you should see someone about personality disorder
Are women sexually gaseous?
Gasses are treated as fluids (although compressible), so women can be gaseous while still being fluid.
"Are women sexually gaseous?" Pro Tip: Do NOT feed them a lot of burritos and beer beforehand.
I don't believe this sexualfluidity stuff except in rare cases. The sight of a naked male human like myself fills me with disgust and loathing. Naked women on the other hand, are beautiful. Not sure where that comes from but that's just how it is.
So, because you aren't sexually fluid, that means (almost) no one is, right?
"I can't believe he won! I don't know a single person who voted for him!"
The sight of a body like yours fills you with disgust and loathing? If that is truly the case you have deeper problems than the possibility of hooking up with another dude.
Then all you watch is female on female movies.... Yeah, sure.
It simply means your straight and normal and in the majority.
The majority??? Let me say this again, the guy who wants to claim most men are 100% straight are the guys no good looking gay man has ever been remotely interested in.
if it fills you with the revulsion you are describing then you are latent or repressed
not gay and I've played loads of organized sports, been in the marine corps, belong to the Y health club, I've seen TONS of dudes naked, it never crossed my mind to be repulsed .. why would it???????
Why can't both male and female bodies be beautiful? I think they are.
Wow dude. I prefer to look at naked women myself as men don't do anything for me. But if you get disgusted at the sight of a naked male body, you might have some issues.
Methinks you doth protest too much, fritz.
How's the ventilation that deep in the closet.
"The sight of a naked male human like myself fills me with disgust " True dat. Humans have an organ of territoriality called the prostate gland. We used to use it to mark territory as well as during 'sexual fluidity.' The sight of another male can cause it to enlarge, making it difficult to pee when some other guy is watching. This has a different function in actual gay men, but for us it causes irritation and actual revulsion, especially when they get a wet towel and want to pop you with it. Good lord. Dude, NO.
Beebs was fluid like a sea.
As much as so many mainstream media types would like you to believe we're all switch hitters, it just aint so. Straight is straight and gay is gay. Anything else is just really confused or perverted.
Any guy who utters the word perverted like you just did is a grade A closet case.
ALL the research on the subject disagrees
who cares??? WHY would you????
Sexual Counselor? Did he make that up himself? Seems like everyone who flunks out of psychology studies becomes a "counselor" of some kind.
"The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Ian Kerner."
I can sure as hell believe that!
What do a sexual counselor and Steve Jobs have in common?
They've both told their customers, "You're holding it all wrong".
“Straight men may go to Craigslist and get turned on by the descriptions of sexual acts with other men"
... gimiie a break ... perverts, that is what they are .. and am I now supposed to approve and understand based on this garbage.
you approval is neither requested or required
if you seek understanding for you OWN benefit hey great
but NO ONE is asking YOUR permission
Just because str8 men might be curious about descriptions of gay sex doesn't mean they're perverts.
Maybe they're just curious. What's wrong with that?
I wouldn't call them perverts. But they ain't straight.
mike you are an idiot......mind your own business and dont judge others....what other people do if their business and freedom and RIGHt to do so....get over the hatred and get your head out of the darkages among other places
@1+0 I have known 1,0000's of gays and lesbians, even closeted ones, and not once have I ever heard of a gay person being in the closet due to gay people. May I just call you out on your bull?
"and am I now supposed to approve and understand based on this garbage." Approve? Mr Johnson, you may have noticed along the way that a lot of people are ALREADY gay. They are not waiting on you to approve their applications. You might find life a little easier if you admit they exist and don't care about your opinion.
It's a gay man's myth that all men are bisexual (their own wishful thinking in wanting to feel "normal").
Fact: most straight men are disgusted by the thought of having sex with another dude. Not for moral reasons...just because it's gross.
It's actually incredibly hot for two hot masculine, inshape dudes to have sex. Unbelievably hot and erotic. One of Gods greatest gifts.........and by the way I date mostly masculine bi dudes and there are FAR more bi guys than gay guys in the world. Most are married, have girlfriends, love women but also love having sex with guys. It's awesome sex and they just can't get enough.
That's pretty gross Joe...
Got AIDS Yet?
Yeah Joe, and the tragedy is that those "bi dudes" are too cowardly to tell their wives and girlfriends that they love having sex with men. The women have no clue and that's beyond unfair. Not to mention all the STDs they bring home after their illicit back alley encounters you are so aroused by. Disgusting.
Give me a break. I can assure you you are not attractive and no good looking man has ever come onto you. It's always the men who never get hit upon whom seem to think they're experts on whom is getting it on with whom.
Give me a break. Stop trying to slap labels on everything. I am a good looking mostly gay guy and I, along with every other attractive gay man, can assure you about 80% of men like to cruise, ie flirt, when no one else is looking. Before you want to call me out on it, go take a look at the mirror and ask yourself when, if ever, was the last time a good looking confident gay guy came onto you.
If 80% of all men were flirting and "cruising" I think that would be a hard fact to ignore, don't you think? Also think the basic structure of our society would be radically different. You need to keep perpetuating myths of normalcy to bolster your political agenda. It's transparent. Here's another myth gay guys like to perpetuate...the myth that most of you are hot, good looking, etc. The fact is that most gay men are fat, ugly and atrocious. You aren't all supermodels. Gay men will hit on anything if there's an orgasm involved. That's why disease runs rampant in your community.
if women would actually learn how to..and enjoy giving.. decent head, we wouldnt be looking for experts for relief. At the end of the day, it's just sex...no judgements, no labels. And any guy who isn't comfortable in their own skin freaks over it, that's your problem buddy. A 'cat' sure may be nice..but guys really like a good intense blow...and if the wife/gf wont do it..we'll go to a buddy who will.
You have a hard time with reading comprehension, don't you? Let me give you an example of what I am talking about. I wad getting my car fixed once and the guy in the waiting room was being very cruisy. However, as soon as another guy came in he totally stopped. He eventually left and as soon as he did the second guy started cruising.
Let me ask you, when was the last time a good looking guy checked you out up and down? How about never???
Hey marrieddownlow, and then there are some of us guys who would rather flip you around and dig our tongues as deep as possible for as long as possible. You won't find many, if any, women who want to do that.
Then man up and divorce her if she's not making you happy. Selfiish pig.
Michael, I'm sure you look, act, and dress like a total fruitcake and act as a neon sign for other fruitcakes that says, "I will blow you no questions asked."
Also, felch much? I think you'd better go for an HIV test and let the wifey know about your "other life." But you won't do either. Coward.
I am a good looking guy who is more than confident I could easily turn you on if I wanted but both you and I know I would never want to with you.
Btw, I don't blow, I lick and I lick better than any other. Not all men who sleep with men are interested in the front package.
hey 'no shame'.. most men look..well most REAL MEN do. Not the repressed wimps like you. You should get out more, unless you cant fit thru the door to get outside. Just because you dont want to enjoy the fun with another man, doesnt make it wrong or classless or unmoral to those who do. Not my fault you have a button dick.
Michael...yes, I've had that pleasure too. I take care of the wife quite well..she just has no interest in exploring..so, I do what I need to do for me.
Yeah, keep chowing down and enjoying that rancid, hairy feces canal and stay classy. Enjoy your AIDS
do a quick look at your local craigslist to find out just how wrong you are
you are an idiot.... you are just upset no one cruises you because they do not find you attractive.....all men love it when someone looks....i have tons of guy friends that love when guys or girls check them out....i have more married guy friends that have sex with guys than gay guys i know.....
you are delusional. is that the best you can come up with? "you're just mad gays don't want you." really? wow. what a dumb a s s. gay men will hit on anything. they aren't picky. they will hook up with a piece of raw chicken if they can get off. you say you know more married guys having s e x with men than gays. maybe because you only hang out with men for s e x. it doesn't seem to bother you at all that all these married guys are hookwinking their clueless wives who have no idea they married a gay guy, not to mention the risk they have been exposed to, all so that some selfish gay can grind his rocks off inside another man. disgusting. trust and marriage vows mean nothing to these guys. i truly feel sorry for all the wives.
Wow man, you are psychotic. Again, everyone knows no good looking gay guy has ever cruised you before.
I was born attracted to the same sex but I find the GLBT community a very dark and dreary place.
Look at the pseudo-pride some of the gay trolls are displaying.... the comments are crude and graphic.
Before you label me as.... well, I can only imagine. Many people do indeed stay IN the closet because of the GLBT community.
I'm 28 AND I have to say to the youth... "things DO NOT get better"
I'm not in the closet as I have a better message than that.
1+0, I have nothing against gays. The problem comes in with these bullsh1t, politically-motivated articles (i.e. gay propaganda) which tries to spread false information. Gays are a minority and always have been...that's even taking into account the closeted ones like yourself. Trying to convince everyone that all men are gay, or bis exual or s ex ually "fluid" or any other PC catch-phrase they try changes nothing. It's almost like the creationists trying to hoodwink people with their new label "intelligent design." It's still the same falsehoods under a new name.
Gay parades aren't about pride...they are about promoting and normalizing the worst gay stereotypes as something "fun" and to be applauded and celebrated. Their emphasis and antics are offensive to many people, even many gays. Nothing quite like promoting a se xual preference as a freak show of decadance, house music and cross-dressing.
No one really cares much about gay s e x other than the blatant, promiscuous behavior which promotes and spreads STDs. The other main thing...the unforgivable thing...is not letting the woman you are about to marry know that you are a closeted gay. If she doesn't mind your bise xuality, so be it, but she should be made aware and given the choice, not having it made for her through deception which is all too often the case.
If you love men and want to stay in the closet, so be it. Just be a good and honest man and most of the straight world will have no problems with you...closeted or not.
Oops posted on the wrong reply @1+0 I have known 1,0000's of gays and lesbians, even closeted ones, and not once have I ever heard of a gay person being in the closet due to gay people. May I just call you out on your bull?
I can't figure out whether you or 'Michael' are deeper in denial. You ought to have dinner together. Michael, really, we're just humoring you because we like you. Don't make us shove you away or something, you hear?
Today's youth got it right.
As simple as that.
This story is so full of it. I know I am 100% not gay. I do enjoy anal sex with men more than any sex with women, but that doesn't mean I am gay.
It just means your are... sexual. Period.
If you prefer mano a mano sex but do not consider yourself gay, what is your definition of the word?
As for down low, I take it the wife is unaware of your extracuricular sex. So you are lying to her all the time. And potentially exposing her to STDs. And you consider yourself a "real man?"
No wonder men get a bad rap.
5exuality is just not black and white, straight or not. It is a whole range from exclusively one to exclusively the other, with most people in the middle. Because of our social prejudices, people who are at least somewhat interested in the opposite 5ex will do so to avoid the 'g' label. But the fact is, most people are capable of being arroused by either gender. Most just choose not to act on it. This is why so many assume g@y is a choice. However, for those few who are at the opposite ends of the 5exual range, it isn't a choice. They truely do not have the choice most humans do.
All this is likely a basic range of normal genetic expression. Therefore, it cannot be bred out of the species because variation in the expression of genes is key to a species survival. It will always fall in a bell curve and and attempt to 'remove' the statistical tails will fail because the genes will self-correct to a normal distribution.
Where do you get your statistics from? Fact is, hom os3xu al behavior has always been practiced by a minority and always will be. Most people have no s3 x ual attraction to their own gender. There's no biological reason to and het eros3xu al behavior was selected for eons ago. Trying to normalize gay behavior and spread the false perception that "most people" are aroused by their own gender is just propanda to make gays feel better about themselves.
Wait. So, you challenge someone else's suggestion and blast their lack of statistics without providing any of your own? Brilliant.
Um, statistically, I think human population growth speaks for itself. Moron.
hey simply wrong..are you that repressed you cant even type the word 'sexual' without doing all that coded crap? s3x ual.. gimme a break. You probably do it with the lights out and never get naked.
I really don't think that "most" people are aroused by the same gender. Some, sure. But probably not most.
LOL...genes don't "self-correct" Learn to biology.
@tacc2 most men get off on the sight of a man getting serviced by a woman. How exactly is that not being turned on at the sight of another man? 90% of guys claiming to be straight would be devastated if they were no longer allowed to watch men in their blue movies.
michael, you are too funny for words. ever go to a pr0n site like xhamster? it is teeming with hundreds of thousands of s e x videos. 99% (since you love stats) have the woman as the erotic focus...regardless of whether she's being hammered by one guy, two guys, a group of guys, one, two or more women, or just by herself with fingers or a toy. if men were all closet f a g s like you claim, the video distribution of sites like xhamster would reflect that fact with man on man s e x being the norm and the majority of videos would be g a y. however, that's clearly not the case. that is because the majority of men are totally straight you and belong to a perverse minority of men who just can't deal with that fact and have been politically organizing for acceptance and spreading propaganda ever since. don't get me wrong...i'm totally against any form of violence against g a y s, but stop feeding us all the BS about how most men are closeted, etc. simply delusional.
When x t u b e was the most popular site years ago and gave the most viewed videos, the two most viewed videos were gay vids. Even now, at x v I d e o s, the most popular site where they clearly indicate they don't include gay videos in their most viewed section, there are tons of gay videos that slip by since they're not labeled as gay. And I actually mainly watch straight videos and they are by far more gay than straight. The man's member is always what's focused on with the man getting serviced 99% of the time and the woman maybe being serviced 5%. Why then does the money shot have nothing at all to do with the woman. Your ability to type info doesn't make it factual.
Btw x h a m s t e r also edits out gay videos in their search results. X t u b e was the only site that didn't do it and the gay vids were by far more popular. Let me put it this way, the only true totally straight vid is woman on woman and I can assure you man on man videos are by far more popular then lesbian films.
michael, you must have a PhD in stupidity. the overwhelming majority of p orn produced throughout the world is straight p orn. that's a simple fact based on another simple fact: the majority of people want straight p orn, not g a y p orn. if the focus was on the man, why not make it all male...with a man servicing another man? but that's not what happens. the woman is always the sole er otic focus of the videos, whether she's alone or with males or females. any camera attention on the male is as a virtual stand-in for the mast urb ating male who imagines himself in the actor's place. that's an obvious fact that only a mo ron like yourself would overlook. you are probably watching straight p orn because there's more of it and you can drool all over the males when they are in the camera frame, but you are a fo ol to think g a y videos are popular with the general public. why do you think female p orn models make $2000 a scene and males make $150? because no one gives a rat's a -hole about the male actors. they are expendible...it's all about the girl. the male is just there as the virtual stand in. g o d you are a hopeless que en.
You can dress it up all you want to try to make yourself feel less gay to getting off on another guy. Let's go over this again... The money shot has NOTHING to do with the woman. If women were actually the main attraction don't you think they'd be the "money"? The man hardly ever goes down on the woman but the man always get serviced. The man is usually the first one to expose himself. There's even a whole genre that accepts this, CFNM. Where's the CMNF? That's right, it doesn't exist. Btw I don't watch man on man action because why would I want to watch that on film when I can just as easily view it in real time? Keep fooling yourself but the main star in straight movies is the man's package, so much so he is the money. As for men projecting themselves supposedly as that man.... We are not that complicated when it comes to getting off. If what we see turns us on then it turns us on. We don't, for example, contemplate if they're actually going to eat the pizza afterwards.
Btw, nice try, two things for you...
1). You're probably one of those guys who find woman on woman action boring but are too dense to state the obvious difference.
2). You tell a man he can no longer watch men in his movies and the last thing in his mind is going to be, Oh no I won't be able to project myself into the scene anymore. No, his thought is going to be, No, I can't ever watch a huge package get serviced again???
Michael, being wrong in ALL CAPS is still being wrong. I'm so sorry to disappoint your fant asies about all men getting off to watching men being serviced. It's only because you are a r a g i n g qu een that you can't see the woods for the trees. The male actor is a surrog ate for the male viewer, nothing more. He's essentially watching himself being serviced by the woman, eat ing her out, "f u k i ng her, etc. Any other spin you try to make is obvious nonsense. G a y p orn, like g ay s themselves, are a distinct and eternal minority. Just make your peace with that fact and that the vast majority of men have zero interest in g a y s e x or g a y men and you'll done just fine.
Nice try, let's deal with reality. You, I would bet, have no idea what its like to have a good looking man cruise you. Go find a good looking gay guy and ask him how many "straight" guys cruise him. You would have no clue because we both know no one wants to hook up with you. You're avoiding the facts about straight vids. The money shot, which member gets serviced the most, etc, etc. The whole projection thing is a feeble attempt of a man trying to explain why seeing another guy getting serviced makes him want to beat off. If you don't think you're gay at all then you have no business beating off to the sight of a naked man much less cli maxing at the sight of another man coming. Go stick with lesbian vids. Oh wait, that's right. Watching two women get it in comparison is extremely boring to you. Give me a break.
Btw the only thing I typed ii n all caps was "the money shot has NOTHING to do with the woman"
Which part if that statement is untrue? It totally shows just hoe wrong you really are when you use that as an attack and my statement is 100% factual.
Michael, why would I expect to hear any sense from the mind of a man who thinks straight guys hit on g a y guys? Your masturbatory fantasies are your own to enjoy. Stop trying to project your fantasy world onto others. G a y men, g a y s e x and g a y p o r n are and always be a very small, easily ignorable minority in the world. That's why you all need to "act up" and bang on your pots and pans for attention. Otherwise, you'd simply be forgotten by straight society.
Wow man, you are obsessed in the topic. It took me about an hour to reply to you and you replied back within 30 seconds.
Again, let me ask you, when was the last time a good looking confident man cruised you? We both know its never happened so HITF do you think you know who is checking who when noone checks you out??? I couldn't care less what you think. It's obvious you have your own gay issues to deal with if you're so obsessed with the topic it takes you 30 seconds to troll and respond.
Btw I noticed how you keep avoiding discussing the aspects of straight vids I brought up.
Yes, I'm obsessed with your entertainment value in defining everything by whether or not a straight guy gets "cruised" or not. You define your world by your genitals and think everyone is openly or secretly the same way you are. It must hurt you to realize that you belong to a freakish minority that has made some modest political gains in recent decades. Most world's societies reject your se xuality outright. Considering that men rule the whole world and always have, then I think that if your fantasy world of 90% of all males secretly "cruising" was even half-true, then your lifestyle would be generally acceptable if not advocated, but there's simply not. Quite the contrary. You are part of a dispised group and it's too painful for you to acknowledge, thus all these fake stats and claims you make are all you're left to fight back with. I have no problem with g ays and most are not ignorant yet mildly amusing idiots such as yourself. C N N is full of gay staff, and good for them, I don't honestly care. It's an open secret that they are pushing a g a y agenda on the website, but I don't care too much about that either. But just so you all know...you aren't fooling anyone and your false propaganda will not go unchallenged.
You can run around in that circle of yours all you want but let's deal with the reality here....
Noone checks you out. Noone finds you attractive. Noone wants to hook up with you. Yet you seem to think you know whom everyone else is cruising. It's a laugh.
Let me put it to you this way, if being straight caused a man to get called a f a g then only 3% would admit to it.
You are obsessed with the topic of guys getting it on with other guys. You're jaded and bitter. You are unfortunate.
Good grief, Michael. A lot of us can't stand the sight of some guy's junk. When they wave it around in a pr0n flick, it's usually to exhibit how large it is, not to arouse the men in the audience. I'm not one of those cats who freaks out over gay stuff or gay people, but I think you are greatly overstating your case.
Advertise for the "Gay Club" all you want liberals. Still never saw two of the same secks have a baby without help from the other side. IT IS A FREAK SHOW !!!! STOP Gaying America.
Lose some weight.
ion case you haven't noticed BEING gay is just as much on the right as the left, it's just socially progressive folks don't beat them up
"Advertise for the "Gay Club" all you want liberals." Wow, are YOU ever a freak. Is this discussion making you turn gay, my bulbous friend? It ain't doing much for the rest of us, but whatever floats your boat . . .
Poor straight breeders. They can have their Walmart lives. I pity them.
Should straights co-opt "breeder" like gays co-opted "qu eer?" Maybe we could have heterosexual parades too? LOL Pathetic attention w h 0 r e s.
YOU grow up. I am hetero don't have kids and never set foot in a Wal Mart in my life. Stereotype much?
a female speaks up. ladies?
We're here, we're unqu eer, we're not going back!
Where's our parade?
You have hetero parades everyday at Walmart, KMart and Home Town Buffet.
Hey it's Friday night. Shouldn't you be giving head at some glory hole, kneeling in your leather chaps or getting peed on by a bunch of strangers in the bar bathroom?
Lmao, hey "breeder", yeah its most definitely Friday night so what are you doing discussing gay issues???
Michael, what's a hot, gay supermodel like you doing on a discussion board on Friday night?
I live in NYC and Friday and Saturday nights are the worst nights to go out on. Besides money is a bit tight this week.
I take my breeder spawn to iHop:
You sound quite knowledgeable about this stuff. Are you hiding something?
There is worse I know about the gay community but I choose not to digust readers with your endless perversions. My sister is a "f a g h a g" who's entertained by freaks like yourself, so I've heard all about the very common perversions which gays relish without thought of consequences to themselves or others. But the fact that knowing something implies "hiding" in your mind is pretty much the point of the article, right? It's all gay propaganda to convince America that we're all secretly gay and that gay is normal. Neither is true, of course. Enjoy your delusions.
"It's all gay propaganda to convince America that we're all secretly gay and that gay is normal. " Yeah? It ain't working, nor could it ever work. You really think people can be ADVISED into being gay? Bwa ha ha ha ha ha! You are fifty shades of delusional.
Shouldn't you be guzzling beer and scarfing down nachos in your double-wide while your wife bleaches her frizzy hair and your spawn watch reruns of Hee-Haw?
"Shouldn't you be guzzling beer " Are you really trying to sell the idea that all straight people are rednecks? Good god. Did you hang yourself and cut off the blood to your brain too long?
Or perhaps your kids like to read the classics. Oh, I forgot, they have no intelligence.
Shouldn't you be listening to or thinking about or discussing Madge or Lady Gaga? Yet again?
It's classic how the guys who str professing how most men aren't gay at all are also the ones no good looking gay man has ever feigned an interest for.
I've got several gay friends, none of whom is the least bit interested in me. This is partly because I am not exactly a supermodel or athlete, but also because they are just people, not sex-crazed ho-mo sex-you-alls like poor Michael.
No gay guy is interested in a straight slob.
Exactly. It's always the overweight unattractive men who want to profess how they're experts on who is getting laid by who. As if...
Really. Like any gay guy would want anywhere near some fat, uneducated straight bozo.
Gay men have no standards. You will hook up with anything. Stop hiding your perversions from your clueless wives who must live with the diseases you bring home to them.
Huh??? Men who sleep with men actually turn down offers more than they accept them. Gay men could get laid ten times a day if they wanted. Fortunately for gay men we don't deal with partners who play hard to get. Men are men...
Thanks for making my argument for me. Gay men are promiscuous, disease-ridden, deceitful (to their wives/girlfriends) wh 0res!
Dude, its a safe bet you're the gayest guy on here. There's only one type of guy who gets so wound up about two guys getting it on.
Michael, it's a safe bet you are the most easily trolled on here.
I'm starting to think that either GrowUp and Michael are the same guy, or that we are seeing a mating dance in progress. Why don't you guys find out if you are in the same city and meet somewhere? Or give it up; Mike, we're not all secretly gay, really; you just live in NYC. It's different elsewhere, and GrowUp? You need to grow up, or get a job following gay men around all day. Your choice, and I bet you go for #2.
Wrong loser. Gay guys have no interest in boring, boarish breeder bozos. Your imagination is running away with itself. too bad, so sad that you are merely a cliche.
I love the way all these straight guys think gay guys want them. Hahahaha. I guess they have their dreams.
It doesn't seem like they think that.
Again 1+0, I am calling u out on ur bull. Go find any real gay man and they'll tell u its always the fat unattractive straight man who thinks every gay guy wants him.
IMO, there are 5 different orientations:
1) totally straight
2) mostly straight
3) either/or or both
4) mostly gay
5) totally gay
Let me just say the guys who profess the loudest to be not gay at all are the ones no good looking guy has ever taken an interest in.
I pretty much agree with with you. But let me have a 6th grade moment here. "Totally gay"......hahahahahaha
Ian Kerner is pathetic.
Kort's in denial
we are multi se xual by NATURE,
it is a spectrum and the kinsey report came up with this mostly straight thing decades ago
just stop caring how OTHERS love or get off and enjoy the diversity
It's much easier to take off our clothes than it is to take off our facades. Sex is biological and feels good. It's nature's trick in getting us to reproduce.
Sex and intimacy can go together, but most often don't. If sex was really making love, our planet would be a paradise.
My observations in my life so far (not scientific) is that people who have lots of casual sex during their sexual active years often never learn how to really be intimate with another person—and are more likely to spend their older years alone and/or unhappy. Men and women who get a lot of sexual attention when they are younger, go through a long slow death when they lose their sex appeal.
One true friend is worth thousands of sex partners . . .
um at the end of the day does it matter? i mean it really shouldnt. what should matter is this and its really this simple. was it good? and go get tested doesnt matter if its man on man girl on girl guy on girl or man on horse. if you get your rocks off then everyone wins, have a smoke and a coke with a smile and go back to bed...
You're going a bit too far there. Horses can't consent. And I have a feeling a good many horses would justifiably kick anyone in the head if they tried it.
Every time I see Ms. Bachmann's face, I have a problem getting a hard-on! Then that is when I start thinking about same sex encounters!
Every moral decision is a choice.
You always choose who you will sleep with.
It is called free will.
Don't worry dude. No gay guy would ever find you attractive. We don't like stupid.
Ok then, so what's wrong with choosing the sleep with the person your actually attracted to?Please keep your morals to yourself.
I better correct myself before the grammar nazis do. "you're"
Wow, why do all of you simply call names all the time?
Only childish people call names.
Our society is based on free will and this like every moral decision is based on you free will to choose.
It is all about choice.
Anybody that says that you have no choice is lying to themselves and to you.
I choose to be a het.erose.xual mon.ogam.ous male because I choose to follow the teachings of the New Testament.
You choose to be ignorant? Don't think so. You were born with low intelligence.
So, let me get this straight, you choose to be hetero. Does that mean you can choose to be gay or bi? Really? You must be the most sexually fluid person in the world. I'm straight, I didn't really choose it though, women just happen to be what my penis responds to. If I "chose" to be gay, that would be all fine and good, but my penis wouldn't cooperate.
Tacc2 is exactly right.
mennoknight, if it is a concious choice and effort then I'd say you're probably actually gay or bi and supressing it, that is the only way it would be a choice. Almost all hetrosexual men will agree that their attraction to women as opposed to men is not something they choose
Every moral decision is a choice. You choose if you are attracted to a person or not. It is simple as that.
Love is a choice, so is sexual attraction.
"You choose if you are attracted to a person or not. " Wrong, dude. You've got no choice at all. Lightning flashes, and you want someone. I mean, I get what you are saying; if you weren't religious, you'd be gay. But you are just choosing not to 'do it,' not to stop or start being attracted. Good luck with that.
Who cares where you like or don't like to put your thingy. Who care if you do or don't like thingys. If that is the most important part of who and what you do then you really need to grow up and quit acting like you 15. The world doesn't care or want to know all your private details despite what Face Book says. GROW UP.
Again, the Furries are ahead of the rest of us. Can we just hand the keys to the planet over to those guys and be done with it?
No, just hand ME the keys and I'll take care of it.
This article makes me sad. The content epresses me more than typical "gender role sterotypes" articles disguised as news.
The comments are atrocious. Why would anyone discuss such personal details.... even behind an alias?
I guess this is what happens when my generation gets to sit in the big boy chairs...."it... like really sucks, maaaan"
Its like participating in the film Idiocracy... ugh, so sad.
indeed.... IDIOCRACY is HERE
if you do not know what u r, then you are gay.
No, you do not go back and forth, if you do, you are gay.
Guys ... a real man does not need to ask what he is, he just knows. That's why men are men and gays are fusses.
And you are? Asexual?
A real man doesn't let any human (man or woman) touch his genitals.
You sound like you're in 3rd grade. Grow a pair and spout that out in real time.
"a real man does not need to ask what he is, he just knows" Let us know when you figure that out.
Why are there so many gay stories on CNN. When only 2% of the population chooses to be gay.
Why are YOU so interested? Closet case perhaps?
Its not specific to GLBT stories.... its just trivial news to create journalism jobs for Generation Cupcake
It's less than 15% and not likely to get any higher. Relax.
This article should also mention that real, true ALPHA males have desexualized both men and women to stay in control.
I have oral herpes. It makes it difficicult to meet women.
Most people do anyway.... best to stay away. stay solo.
the gay agenda
No, this is called the dumbing-down-of-America agenda.... nothing to do with GLBT issues.
This agenda can be found in classrooms, law books, television, film, radio, smartphones, warning signs, Facebook, etc...
@1+0 i didn't say it was bad or good i was just pointing it out. I find it funny how these 'experts' think they know what's in the hearts and minds of 7 billion people. they act like they are Professor X.
I was hoping to sound neutral on the article's topic as well... you can never tell in text sometimes.
And you're right about the "experts" making all these claims about personal behavior and emotion... seems like a waste.
I think Professor X was much more productive tho.... hahah
Don't look at it, you'll turn gay? Man, some of you guys kill me.
I like looking at bi pr0n. Girl with two guys who are doing each other. I never actually look at the dudes, nor do I want to, it just turns me on to see a girl who would actually be part of that situation.
What would Jerry do?
Cower back in the corner of his tiny cell and plead "Don't hit me any more?"
It's shooting seminal fluid down a receptacle that is a lot of fun. That is sex. Everything on top of that is baggage that for some reason we feel the need to place on it. No religion on Earth agrees on the 'significance' of sex, so just break it down to its basics and get over it.
I hope you don't have pets.
When you are through with your vacuum cleaner, don't give it to Goodwill.
So... did we forget guys could be bi? Come on! Most people aren't at the absolute extremes of the Kinsey scale anyway. So what if the guy who thought he was at the extreme gay end finds out he's actually a millimeter closer to the straight end than he thought? Surprising to him, maybe, but not exactly earth-shattering news.
Our brain chemistry is changable. Our values are changable. Attraction is mutable. If a guy can prefer one build in a woman one day and totally different build the next, why can't a guy lust after a man one day and a woman the next. In a society that is sexually amoral for consenting adults, there is bound to be a lot of variation. The big lie is that attraction is immutable. All one has to do is entertain a thought long enough to convince yourself something is desirable.
Can you convince yourself to get hot snd get it on with another guy–and love it?
Spoken like a true gay man.
no, i can say as a straight heterosexual male – there is NEVER a day where i desire anything but my wife – who is a woman. and even if i was single, not married, a priest, or simply a male who was confused ( i still don't get that hahaaha ) and on an island and there was a ONLY another dude, the tree would look more attractive....
Sorry, but gay men just can't accept the fact that everyone doesn't openly or secretly want to have s e x with them. Their egos are off the charts. No use trying to convince them you aren't secretly craving their mouths and rectums.
Dude, you can rest assured no gay man wants to hook up with you.
"No use trying to convince them you aren't secretly craving their mouths and rectums." You aren't actually fooling anyone, sailor.
Real women want a strong , hairy man . Not a Strong hairy man in a pink tutu . Stop gaying America .
So do I, lady, so do I. The pink tutu is an option, though.
You sound like you have flannel shirts, Birkenstocks, and a few Melissa Ethridge CDs in the closet.
Fat, hairy, yellow teeth, bad breath, body odor, dumb and drunk. You straight women sure are lucky!
Actually Im more fond of baldies. But thanks for speaking for all women without our permission.
Speak for yourself, Candace!
I love sensitive (mostly) hairless men, and I can assure you, I am all female! Being "strong and hairy" doesn't make a person any more of a man.
As for "gaying America", I didn't know it was catchy.
LOL Yeah cause all gay guys run around in pink freakin tutu's! And honestly us gay guys are hairier and manly than most straight ones! ;o)
I don't think Candace has had a "strong, hairy man" in while. Maybe we could all chip in get her one. Either that, or a real butch lesbian. Whatever it takes to shut her up.
Shut up Candice. You don't speak for me or my tastes in men. Hairy men gross me out. A nice smooth chest gets my motor running though. Keep your trap shut.