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June 14th, 2012
08:46 AM ET
Every woman needs a 'gaggle' of menIan Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex weekly on The Chart. Read more from him on his website, GoodInBed.
That was then, this is now - it’s a post-dating world you’re living in, and that means you have to shed your one-to-one mind-set and start thinking in terms of one to many. In other words? Stop searching for Mr. Right and look around at all the Mr Right(s). According to Massa and Wiegand, every woman - single or not - should have her own gaggle, a group of guys that occupy different roles in her life. “You probably have a gaggle of friends, who all play different roles and fulfill different needs for you,” explains Massa. “You might call one friend to go shopping versus another friend when you’re upset versus another friend when you need a serious professional opinion. Your romantic gaggle is just another piece of the much larger, long-term puzzle of how you structure the relationships in your life to feel full, happy and loved.” The men in this gaggle can include anyone from the barista you flirt with, to the ex-boyfriend you Skype, to the work buddy you commiserate with over lunch. Whether you end up dating one or more of them is just an added bonus. “As a woman, having a gaggle provides you with a love life full of possibility: you have many men in your life, in many ambiguous but enriching ways, who are all teaching you about yourself and your needs and desires and leading you closer to the guy and relationship you want,” say Massa and Wiegand. Terri Trespicio, a New York-based dating and relationship coach who is single herself, exuberantly extols the “uncoupled state” and takes things a step further: If you’re happily single but enjoy dating, she recommends seeing three different men regularly. “When you date just one guy, you might feel pressured to commit, even if you’re not ready,” she says. “If you see two men, there’s often this unspoken need to choose between them. But three guys tend to balance each other out, like a tripod.” Like the “Gaggle," these three men can fulfill different needs - maybe you like to see movies with one, travel with another and cuddle with a third - which removes the burden of one man to fill all those slots. “This can also help you worry less about whether or not someone is your ‘match’,” says Trespicio, “and shifts your focus to the sheer joy of connecting with other people.” Nor does being single have to equal celibate. Your gaggle may well include ex-boyfriends, hot sex prospects, and perhaps even a cuddle-guy. It’s your love-life, so do it your way. As long as you’re open and honest with your dates - and practice safe sex - there’s no reason why you can’t be intimate with more than one person. Just as different people can serve different roles outside of bed, so too, can they satisfy different needs between the sheets. In their groundbreaking book, "The Ethical Slut," Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy describe the ways in which single women (and men) can juggle multiple sexual partners and enjoy intimacy safely and “ethically." Marriage is wonderful for many, but it’s not the right choice for everyone. Whether you’re sexually intimate with more than one person or simply enjoying a variety of friendships and dates, one doesn’t have to be the loneliest number. Say Massa and Wiegand: “We are living in a post-dating world because traditional dating is no longer the most common path that people are following to romantically connect and fall in love. And the more that women judge themselves and their relationships by traditional dating standards that no longer exist, the more they are going to feel an unnecessary despair and confusion and hold themselves back from finding love in this new romantic landscape.” So go forth and gaggle! soundoff (1,429 Responses)« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 Next »Leave a Reply to Joyce Bang
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If you’re a single woman and you’re looking for love, forget about “The Rules” and stop worrying that “He’s just not that into you.” 
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WHAT A MIRACLE...No one could have ever made me believe that the letter I’m writing would actually one day be written. I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like this, but I was told by a reliable source (a very close co-worker)whom DR BALBOSA have helped in getting back her ex..she also told me that DR BALBOSA is a very dedicated, gifted, and talented person and also like a father to her...My name is Meyers Brown and I am from the USA... My love life was in shambles, I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn't face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. and he broke up with me again. I was confused and did not know what to do again, so i got in contact with DR BALBOSA. He did a love spell that made my husband come back to me and this time my husband came back with so much love,It was one of the best things I have ever done i am the happiest woman on earth and I am filled with so much joy and happiness because my marriage is saved. we are now very much happy with ourselves. DR BALBOSA is for REAL and for good. He can also help you to fix your broken relationship. I had my husband back in just 48 hours! It was a miracle. we’re doing very well in our love life...if you have a similar issue don't hesitate to contact him on his
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My name is Ronald Monica from USA. I am really pleased with this service. I am one of those people who said, “I’ll never call a psychic or a magician or whatever” to help me with my problems – least of all my love problems, but I reached the point where I knew I needed some guidance, and I’m so glad I found this man called Dr balbosa, I never in a million years would have thought I’d be writing a letter like this, but when I nearly lost Andrew, my love in one of our stupid, fights (he broke up with me), I thought I had lost everything. i cry all day and think that he will never come back to me again. I read a testimony by a man called Tyce Logan about him saying how Dr balbosa helped him to get back is ex wife within 48 hours .I quickly email Dr balbosa and explained everything to him And when I was at my most desperate situation he didn’t take advantage of me. Dr Balbosa is the best and genuine spell caster. He performed a very good service for a person in true need. I don’t know how you did it, or how this magic works, but all I know is, IT WORKS!! Andrew, my husband and I are happily back together, and I’ll always be grateful to Dr balbosa...
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Hi, I've been searching for help on how to get my ex lover back that broke up with me 2 years ago.. I was traumatized by the break up and nearly wanted to commit suicide but I thank God that I got the contact of LORD ZAKUZA the spiritual father that helped me to get back my ex lover after much searching of help from different places. When I got in touch with LORD ZAKUZA, I explained everything to him to he gave me his words of encouragement and told me that he was going to prepare a spell for me that will help me get back my ex lover within 48 hours and I believed in his words for I was referred to him by a friend who he helped and right now, my ex lover is back and we are living happily together to get married next month. If you need any assistance whatsoever like getting cured from sickness, getting pregnant E.T.C. Then, I suggest that you get in touch with LORD ZAKUZA now through his WhatsApp him on + 1 (740) 573–9483 or Email: lordzakuza7@gmail.com I'm forever grateful to you LORD ZAKUZA.
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My boyfriend broke up with me after several years of living together. He hasn't been the perfect man, as he would often go Awol on nights out, but I love him nonetheless. He says our relationship became too intense and I was too restrictive of what he did. The thought of never being his girlfriend pains me so much. His phone is off and I desperately want to speak to him. He has left me with some false hope that some space and time apart might be good for us, and who knows what will happen in the future? so I never gave up on him because I love him so much and I did all possible best to get him back, I was on a research on the guardian website here on Google while I saw several comments about Spell Caster Dr Odogwu on how he helped a lady, due to my heartbreak and pains I considering contacting Spell Caster Dr Odogwu for help to bring back my boyfriend. Spell Caster Dr Odogwu did a great spell for me and it worked perfectly within 24 hours, and I am happy to tell you all my boyfriend is back to me and to stay with me forever. I am using this opportunity to let everyone know that real spell casters like Dr Odogwu are %100 real and his spell works very fast. Thank you so much Spell Caster Dr Odogwu for bringing him back. I will keep talking about Dr Odogwu until the whole world gets to know about him and his good works, Thank you so much Spell Caster Dr Odogwu. Please don't hesitate not to contact him if you need his help for I know most of the individuals needs help one way or the other for his good works are accurate. You can contact Spell Caster Dr Odogwu now. Email: drodogwuspelltemple@gmail.com or WhatsApp him: +2348107381533
My boyfriend broke up with me after several years of living together. He hasn't been the perfect man, as he would often go Awol on nights out, but I love him nonetheless. He says our relationship became too intense and I was too restrictive of what he did. The thought of never being his girlfriend pains me so much. His phone is off and I desperately want to speak to him. He has left me with some false hope that some space and time apart might be good for us, and who knows what will happen in the future? so I never gave up on him because I love him so much and I did all possible best to get him back, I was on a research on the guardian website here on Google while I saw several comments about Spell Caster Dr Odogwu on how he helped a lady, due to my heartbreak and pains I considering contacting Spell Caster Dr Odogwu for help to bring back my boyfriend. Spell Caster Dr Odogwu did a great spell for me and it worked perfectly within 24 hours, and I am happy to tell you all my boyfriend is back to me and to stay with me forever. I am using this opportunity to let everyone know that real spell casters like Dr Odogwu are %100 real and his spell works very fast. Thank you so much Spell Caster Dr Odogwu for bringing him back. I will keep talking about Dr Odogwu until the whole world gets to know about him and his good works, Thank you so much Spell Caster Dr Odogwu. Please don't hesitate not to contact him if you need his help for I know most of the individuals needs help one way or the other for his good works are accurate. You can contact Spell Caster Dr Odogwu now. Email: drodogwuspelltemple@gmail.com or WhatsApp him: +2348107381533
My wife was flirting with another man. until she vanished away, I was desperate to get her back, I wasted so much time and money trying to get my wife back, I tried almost all possibilities to have her back and nothing worked. I became lonely. To make it short, I found a spell caster, Dr Ilekhojie. I saw the good testimonies about his wonderful work and after reading the Testimonials, I decided I had to try and give it one last try and After the spells, a miracle happened, my wife came home. It was awesome, anyone who needs help, should email him: gethelp05@gmail.com WhatsApp/Call him on +2348147400259
Am here to share a testimony on how Dr iniboku helped me. After a 3 year relationship with my boyfriend, he changed suddenly and stopped contacting me regularly, he would come up with excuses of not seeing me all the time. He stopped answering my calls and my sms and he stopped seeing me regularly. I then started catching him with different girls several times but every time he would say that he loved me and that he needed some time to think about our relationship. But I couldn't stop thinking about him so I decided to go online and I saw so many good talks about this spell caster called Dr iniboku and I contacted him and explained my problems to him. He cast a love spell for me which i use and after 24 hours, my boyfriend came back to me and started contacting me regularly and we moved in together after a few months and he was more open to me than before and he started spending more time with me than his friends. We eventually got married and we now have been married happily for 3 years with a son. Ever since Dr iniboku helped me, my partner is very stable, faithful and closer to me than before. You can also contact this spell caster and get your relationship fix Email: drinibokuspelltemple@gmail.com or drinibokuspelltemple@outlook.com see more reviews about him on WhatsApp: +2347059186346
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My name is Ronald Monica from USA. I am really pleased with this service. I am one of those people who said, “I’ll never call a psychic or a magician or whatever” to help me with my problems – least of all my love problems, but I reached the point where I knew I needed some guidance, and I’m so glad I found this man called Dr balbosa, I never in a million years would have thought I’d be writing a letter like this, but when I nearly lost Andrew, my love in one of our stupid, fights (he broke up with me), I thought I had lost everything. i cry all day and think that he will never come back to me again. I read a testimony by a man called Tyce Logan about him saying how Dr balbosa helped him to get back is ex wife within 48 hours .I quickly email Dr balbosa and explained everything to him And when I was at my most desperate situation he didn’t take advantage of me. Dr Balbosa is the best and genuine spell caster. He performed a very good service for a person in true need. I don’t know how you did it, or how this magic works, but all I know is, IT WORKS!! Andrew, my husband and I are happily back together, and I’ll always be grateful to Dr balbosa...
don't fail to contact him for any kind of help, Dr balbosa is very capable and reliable...From Monica
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I was married for 16 years to a loving mother and wife. We had 2 children together who are now 11 & 13. I reconnected with an old girlfriend from college on Facebook and we began an affair and I left my wife. The woman I had an affair with is a wonderful woman and I love her too and our kids had begun accepting the situation and my wife has kind of moved on, but not in love with the man she is seeing. I thought I fell out of love with my wife and I felt terrible about what I did to her – she is a good woman and I don't know what came over me. I decided to try and get her back and I was recommended to Lord Zakuza for help to get reunited with my wife and within 48 hours after I made contact with Lord Zakuza my wife decided to work things out with me and now we are back together with our children living as one happy family. I really don't know the words to use in appreciation of what Lord Zakuza did for me but I will say thank you sir for reuniting I and my family back. For those in trying times with their marriages or relationship can browse through his website via: https: lordzakuzaspells.com or WhatsApp Lord Zakuza for help or text with this number +1 740 573 9483 or you can send him an email to Lordzakuza7 @gmail. com
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I feel so blessed again in my marriage after PRIEST OSAS brought back my husband that separated with me for good 3 months. ANNY ROBERT by name from California. Even though I have mouths all over my body, it won't be enough to thank PRIEST OSAS for his help in my life. My husband separated with me for 3 months and has been in pain and agony without him. So, I searched for help everywhere but nothing worked out not until I meant PRIEST OSAS who I contacted online. I explained my situation to him and he promised that my husband will get back to me within 24 to 48 hours so that my heart still beats for him. I believed in him and he prepared a spell for me and my husband called me exactly when PRIEST OSAS said. He pleaded and said he needs me back and now we are living happily again for the past 9 months. Everyone out there reading my article that needs help should contact him... Email: Unsurpassed.solution@gmail.com or WhatsApp him +2348151243832
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Thank you for what you have done for me! My husband stopped filling the divorce papers after I contacted you to help me stop the divorce with my husband and now things are going much better now. As you said, all the process concerning the divorce have been cancelled and the evil woman that cause the problem in my marriage has be sent away by my husband and we are now happy together, if you are having relationship or marriage problems or any other problems, you can email him at: (drositamiraclespell@gmail.com) or WhatsApp him (+15088120454)
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This testimony is worth sharing to the world. I am here to tell the world of the good works of Dr BALBOSA. My name is Olivia Bolton am from the UK.. My man left me and my kids for another older woman. It was not so easy for me.. I love my husband so much and I did not lose hope and I kept praying and God finally answered my prayers...i searched online for a spell caster to help me unite me and my lover back forever and i saw so many testimonies of how DR BALBOSA has helped so many people online and i decided to give him a trial … I contacted him and explained to him. He told me not to worry that he will bring back my man within 24 hours. He consulted his powers and assured me not to worry . He did his work and cast the spell and to my greatest surprise, my husband came back the same day begging and crying just as Dr BALBOSA said. He begged me for forgiveness and he promised never to leave me for any reason. We are happy and we live together as one. Contact Dr BALBOSA now and be happy forever. dont lose hope and good luck..
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PRAISE GOD
After my husband left me for his mistress for 3 months. I never believed in spells until my friend introduced me to him. At first, I was skeptical about him because I heard a lots about false spell casters but I put my doubts behind me for i was desperate to get my husband back and I did according to what he instructed me to do. Now my husband is back just within 48 hours of contacting him. I’m living happily with my husband again after 6 months of divorce and I will not rest till he’s known all over the world. He’s also specialize in cures to any sickness, protection spells, lottery spells, elevation spells E.T.C. Get connected with Doctor Ilekhojie now, his email is (gethelp05@gmail.com) You can also Whatsapp him on +234(81)47400-259
The feeling of being love takes away so much burden from our shoulder. I had all this but I made a big mistake and my wife left me for over 10 months I was lonely, sad and devastated luckily I was directed to a very kind and powerful man Dr Uzo who helped me brought back my wife and now she loves me far more than ever I'm so happy with life now thank you so much Dr Uzo kindly message Dr Uzo and get any kind of help you want on whatsapp +2348117952155 or Email, Druzospellhome@gmail.com
WHAT A MIRACLE...No one could have ever made me believe that the letter I’m writing would actually one day be written. I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like this, but I was told by a reliable source (a very close co-worker)whom DR BALBOSA have helped in getting back her ex..she also told me that DR BALBOSA is a very dedicated, gifted, and talented person and also like a father to her...My name is Meyers Brown and I am from the USA... My love life was in shambles, I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn't face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. and he broke up with me again. I was confused and did not know what to do again, so i got in contact with DR BALBOSA. He did a love spell that made my husband come back to me and this time my husband came back with so much love,It was one of the best things I have ever done i am the happiest woman on earth and I am filled with so much joy and happiness because my marriage is saved. we are now very much happy with ourselves. DR BALBOSA is for REAL and for good. He can also help you to fix your broken relationship. I had my husband back in just 48 hours! It was a miracle. we’re doing very well in our love life...if you have a similar issue don't hesitate to contact him on his Email on: balbosasolutionhome@gmail.com And his Phone number and WhatsApp or call him:+1(206)-485-3691
HIS WEBSITE ON: https://balbosasolutionhome.com ...GRATEFUL HEART
WHAT A MIRACLE...No one could have ever made me believe that the letter I’m writing would actually one day be written. I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like this, but I was told by a reliable source (a very close co-worker)whom DR BALBOSA have helped in getting back her ex..she also told me that DR BALBOSA is a very dedicated, gifted, and talented person and also like a father to her...My name is Meyers Brown and I am from the USA... My love life was in shambles, I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn't face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. and he broke up with me again. I was confused and did not know what to do again, so i got in contact with DR BALBOSA. He did a love spell that made my husband come back to me and this time my husband came back with so much love,It was one of the best things I have ever done i am the happiest woman on earth and I am filled with so much joy and happiness because my marriage is saved. we are now very much happy with ourselves. DR BALBOSA is for REAL and for good. He can also help you to fix your broken relationship. I had my husband back in just 48 hours! It was a miracle. we’re doing very well in our love life...if you have a similar issue don't hesitate to contact him on his Email on: balbosasolutionhome@gmail.com And his Phone number and WhatsApp or call him:+1(206)-485-3691
HIS WEBSITE ON: https://balbosasolutionhome.com ...
GRATEFUL HEART
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my name is MELINDA i want to testify about a great spell caster that help me cast a spell that bring my ex boyfriend back without any delay. I broke up with my ex with just little misunderstanding hoping we will get back shortly,but things was going worse until i contacted DR. KADUKA who help me with his historical powers to bring him back, without charging me any money for his work, i have never believed in a spell caster until i come across DR. KADUKA. Well it will be of great sin if i should go out from here without dropping the contact of this great spell caster,in case you need the help of this great spell caster you can contact him through his email: once you contact him all your problems will be over,once again i am saying a very big thanks to you sir for helping me to recover my ex back, and please sir keep your good work cause people need your helping hand in their lives.once more contact him on his email; kadukatemple@gmail.com you can call him on whatsapp for urgent response whatsApp +393511406759