home
RSS
What to do when you're 'malemployed'
March 8th, 2012
07:50 AM ET

What to do when you're 'malemployed'

Editor's note: CNN contributor Amanda Enayati ponders the theme of seeking serenity: the quest for well-being and life balance in stressful times.

“Ruin my weekend? My boss ruined my life!”

So wrote JJ Jeffers, one of a few hundred commenters on last week’s story, “Is your boss ruining your weekend?

“My new boss makes me work every weekend,” wrote commenter kit8. “Hence, I don’t feel stress about going to work on Monday as I am always at work.”

It’s the plight of the malemployed, defined by Urban Dictionary as “when what you do for a living makes you want to kill yourself.”

“[W]hat’s fouling up my weekend is that my boss keeps bringing in more work and not planning enough personnel to do it,” wrote another commenter, randumb guy. “We are building an economy based on extracting more from fewer.”

Dude agreed: “Our department … got busier and busier until we reached a point where we were at a full sprint from the moment you clocked in until you left for the day. …Then they added additional work. Then even more work … there was always one that came up a little short at the end of the week. At the weekly meetings they would always bring them up and mention ‘disciplinary [sic] up to and including termination.’”

Stress is not necessarily a bad thing, Dr. Rajita Sinha, the head of Yale’s Stress Center, once told me.

“It’s stress that is sustained, uncontrollable and overwhelming, where people can’t figure out options to solve their problems, that is damaging.”

Unfortunately for many, work fits this latter bill.

A vast body of epidemiological and public health literature suggests that certain types of workplace practices have an adverse effect on human health and life span, according to Jeffery Pfeffer, professor of organizational behavior at Stanford’s Graduate School of Business and author of “Power: Why Some People Have It - and Others Don’t.”

And so JJ Jeffers’s comment is not far off the mark. Your boss may not just be ruining your weekend; he or she may be doing severe physical and psychological harm.

“Look at it in terms of ‘exposures,’” says Pfeffer. Layoffs, being uninsured or underinsured, the absence of job control and long work hours can all serve as exposures to a host of diseases and pathologies - high blood pressure, elevated cholesterol, cardiovascular disease, sleep disorders and alcoholism, among others.

And many of the toxic practices that are harming employees are also harming their companies.

“When you don’t offer your employees health insurance, they come to work sick,” says Pfeffer. “They suffer from absenteeism and presenteeism. They are so distracted, they don’t get much done. And long working hours being more productive? That’s a myth that turns out not to be true.”

So what options does a malemployed worker have?

There are no instant cures for people stuck in nasty workplaces, says Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and best-selling author of books like “Good Boss, Bad Boss” and “The No A**hole Rule.” But you do have options:

Leave.

First, asks Sutton, are you really stuck? In some situations, an exit may be your best option.

“Sometimes I see people who believe that leaving their company or taking a step down is unthinkable. They are overworked, stressed out and physically sick all the time, but they won’t leave to protect their physical and mental health. It’s the devil you know versus the devil you don’t. But you know what? Living a longer life and being happier is worth it.”

“There are also regions and specific areas where growth is pretty good,” Sutton continues. “Think through the possibilities, go to an employment counselor, talk to friends who have left and been successful.”

What about starting your own business?

“You absolutely have to be realistic about entrepreneurship,” suggests Lindsey Pollack, career expert and author of “Getting From College to Career.”

“You need a particular skill set and a particular internal drive to do it. Starting your own business is not for everyone.”

However, notes Pollack, our economy and the expanding role of technology are moving us toward a work culture where many more people are - and will be - free agents. Freelancing and consulting are a huge trend. There is a middle ground now between being a full-time benefited employee and being a totally independent sole proprietor. Look for opportunities in that middle space.

Fight back.

You should challenge your own assumptions in negative workplace situations, says Sutton.

If you examine the research on power and self-awareness, 50% (or more) of the time your boss may not understand how he or she is affecting people. So your working assumption should not be that your boss is the devil’s first cousin - but that he or she may be clueless and unaware.

A frank conversation may address your problem, something to the effect of: “There are things that you and/or this company are doing to me that are making it hard for me both physically and emotionally. I’m willing to work hard and be dedicated, but I can’t run a marathon consistently at this pace.”

“Some of it is just having the conversation,” says Sutton. “Don’t assume you can’t reason with management.”

Pollack agrees that communication is key.

“Clarify both what your job expectations are and how your boss likes to be communicated with. Maybe she likes to have clearer channels. Oftentimes the problem’s due to a lack of communication. You may be working hard, but if you’re not doing what your boss wants, you are going to have trouble.”
If at the end of the day nothing else works, you may want to channel Machiavelli.

“Find ways to weaken an oppressive boss or undermine them politically,” suggests Sutton. “I have had cases where individuals who tried to fight back failed. But once people banded together and made the case, they were able to oust an overbearing and exploitive manager.”

Stay.

Every once in a while Sutton receives an email that says something like: “My job situation is unbearable, but I’m two years away from retirement. What do I do?”
These are the times when you have to suffer through, he says. You’ve got to figure out how to get through without doing as much damage to yourself. Do everything you can to keep yourself in better physical and mental shape. Find ways to escape.

“I’m a big believer in living the fine art of emotional detachment. Sometimes there is an argument to be made for going through the motions without letting it touch your soul.”

The good news is that there appears to be a dawning realization that malemployment isn’t going to end on its own.

“We have to slow down and recognize that we are running a marathon,” says Sutton. “We can’t sprint every moment of every day. People are realizing that they are burning each other out.”


soundoff (361 Responses)
  1. alprostadil injection demonstration video

    cheap alprostadil https://alprostadildrugs.com/ alprostadil storage

    April 16, 2021 at 19:18 | Report abuse | Reply
  2. tadalafil tablets

    tadalafil https://elitadalafill.com/ buy tadalafil us

    April 17, 2021 at 14:59 | Report abuse | Reply
  3. alprostadil 40mcg/cartridge inj system

    injectable for ed https://alprostadildrugs.com/ injectable ed drugs

    April 21, 2021 at 21:58 | Report abuse | Reply
  4. tadalafil gel

    tadalafil dosage https://elitadalafill.com/ tadalafil max dose

    April 22, 2021 at 06:45 | Report abuse | Reply
  5. canadian customs pills vitamins

    canadian pills online https://canadapillstorex.com/ canadian pills online

    April 22, 2021 at 08:25 | Report abuse | Reply
  6. vardenafil tablets

    vardenafil coupon https://vegavardenafil.com/ levitra generic vardenafil

    April 23, 2021 at 03:21 | Report abuse | Reply
  7. cialis through canadian pharmacies

    canadian generic cialis 20mg https://canadacialisstore.com/ canadian pharmacy cialis without prescription

    April 23, 2021 at 07:15 | Report abuse | Reply
  8. canadian weight loss pills

    best canadian mail order pharmacies for diet pills https://canadapillstorex.com/ canadian customs pills vitamins

    April 27, 2021 at 04:12 | Report abuse | Reply
  9. dapoxetine

    dapoxetine buy avanafil online

    April 29, 2021 at 21:18 | Report abuse | Reply
  10. impotence

    erectile enhancer https://canadaerectiledysfunctionpills.com/ compare erectile dysfunction medication

    April 30, 2021 at 01:06 | Report abuse | Reply
  11. average perscription pills taken by 65 year old canadian?

    canadian generic pills https://canadapillstorex.com/ canadian pills online

    May 1, 2021 at 07:38 | Report abuse | Reply
  12. herbal erection pills

    how erectile dysfunction affects men https://canadaerectiledysfunctionpills.com/ erectile health news

    May 2, 2021 at 00:24 | Report abuse | Reply
  13. canadian pharmacy 5 mg daily cialis

    cialis canadian discounts https://canadacialisstore.com/ canadian pharmacy tadalafil viagara cialis

    May 2, 2021 at 04:04 | Report abuse | Reply
  14. hydroxychloroquine coronavirus

    chlorowuine https://chloroquineorigin.com/ chloroquine side effect

    May 3, 2021 at 06:05 | Report abuse | Reply
  15. avana

    avanafil dosage buy avana usa

    May 3, 2021 at 23:03 | Report abuse | Reply
  16. chloroquin

    chloroquine phosphate tablet https://chloroquineorigin.com/ choloriquine

    May 6, 2021 at 07:30 | Report abuse | Reply
  17. priligy

    dapoxetine 100 mg priligy usa

    May 7, 2021 at 00:41 | Report abuse | Reply
  18. Eric Fefer

    Have you ever heard of second life (sl for short). It is basically a online game where you can do anything you want. sl is literally my second life (pun intended lol). If you would like to see more you can see these sl websites and blogs

    http://everydayliteracies.blogspot.com/2019/12/myers-education-press.html?m=0

    May 11, 2021 at 10:48 | Report abuse | Reply
  19. Mi Hammons

    This was awesome! I would like you to clean up all this spam though

    https://www.linkedin.com/in/yusuf-hanafy-82493b183

    May 12, 2021 at 06:23 | Report abuse | Reply
  20. combigan

    combigan cost brimonidine

    May 15, 2021 at 08:50 | Report abuse | Reply
  21. storno brzinol

    naturally like your website but you have to take a look at the spelling on quite a few of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling issues and I to find it very bothersome to tell the reality nevertheless I will certainly come back again.

    http://www.stornobrzinol.com/

    May 15, 2021 at 10:19 | Report abuse | Reply
  22. Salvatore Bucolo

    I don't know about you all but I love airplanes. I have a friend in highschool that loves airplanes, so here are some airplane related stuff I don't know about you guys but I love airplanes. I had a friend in highschool that loved airplanes, so here are some airplane related stuff https://www.airlinereporter.com/2010/08/boeing-changes-the-767-production-line-and-plans-to-keep-building-more/

    http://blog.seattlepi.com/airlinereporter/2010/01/21/get-vip-tickets-to-watch-the-boeing-747-8-first-flight/

    May 16, 2021 at 19:11 | Report abuse | Reply
  23. Armanda Kuharik

    Have you ever heard of second life (sl for short). It is basically a game where you can do anything you want. sl is literally my second life (pun intended lol). If you would like to see more you can see these second life articles and blogs

    http://everydayliteracies.blogspot.com/2004/11/have-card-will-travel-what-im-starting.html

    May 17, 2021 at 09:20 | Report abuse | Reply
  24. buy provigil

    where to buy modafinil modafinil dosage

    May 18, 2021 at 02:17 | Report abuse | Reply
  25. Stanley Soleman

    I don't know about you all but I love airplanes. I had a friend in highschool that loved airplanes, so here are some airplane related stuff I don't know about you guys but I love airplanes. I had a friend in highschool that loved airplanes, so here are some airplane related stuff https://www.airlinereporter.com/2009/05/the-airline-blogs-livery-of-the-day-vietnam-airlines/

    http://urlm.co/g/c/f/163873

    May 18, 2021 at 04:32 | Report abuse | Reply
  26. Kristina Floyd

    I don't know about you guys but I infatuated with airplanes. I had a friend in highschool that loved airplanes, so here are some airplane related stuff I don't know about you guys but I love airplanes. I had a friend in highschool that loved airplanes, so here are some airplane related stuff https://www.airlinereporter.com/2011/03/vote-which-new-timers-alaska-airlines-livery-do-you-like-best/

    http://www.tulalipnews.com/wp/page/581/

    May 19, 2021 at 06:22 | Report abuse | Reply
  27. Kena Revalee

    Have you ever heard of second life (sl for short). It is essentially a game where you can do anything you want. sl is literally my second life (pun intended lol). If you would like to see more you can see these sl articles and blogs

    http://everydayliteracies.blogspot.com/2014/09/latest-book-in-our-series-learning.html?showComment=1482722289171

    May 20, 2021 at 05:32 | Report abuse | Reply
  28. isotretinoine

    roaccutane https://tretivaisotretinoin.com/# roaccutane

    May 20, 2021 at 14:45 | Report abuse | Reply
  29. Darius Randel

    Have you ever heard of second life (sl for short). It is essentially a game where you can do anything you want. SL is literally my second life (pun intended lol). If you would like to see more you can see these sl authors and blogs

    http://myvedana.blogspot.com/2004/12/why-was-i-reading-this-i-thought-this.html

    May 21, 2021 at 03:47 | Report abuse | Reply
  30. accutane for acne

    buy isotretinoin https://sotretisotretinoin.com/# buy isotretinoine isotretinoine

    May 21, 2021 at 05:15 | Report abuse | Reply
  31. Tembepteriope

    https://isotroinisotretinoin.com/ roaccutane what is accutane isotretinoin side effects accutane medication

    May 22, 2021 at 01:28 | Report abuse | Reply
  32. Albert Gerloff

    I don't know about you all but I am obsessed with airplanes. I had a friend in highschool that loved airplanes, so here are some airplane related stuff I don't know about you guys but I love airplanes. I had a friend in highschool that loved airplanes, so here are some airplane related stuff https://www.airlinereporter.com/2009/07/aeroflot-plans-to-sell-its-tupolev-jets-buying-boeing-airbus/

    http://urlm.co/g/c/f/163873

    May 22, 2021 at 03:42 | Report abuse | Reply
  33. chloroquineorigin

    chloroquine malaria chlorochin chloroquine over the counter uk aralen hydrochloride https://chloroquineorigin.com/ – hidroxicloroquina

    May 22, 2021 at 17:28 | Report abuse | Reply
  34. Wendell Cara

    Have you ever heard of second life (sl for short). It is essentially a online game where you can do anything you want. sl is literally my second life (pun intended lol). If you want to see more you can see these Second Life websites and blogs

    http://adolit.blogspot.com/2009/10/31st-annual-ethnography-in-education.html

    May 23, 2021 at 05:28 | Report abuse | Reply
  35. cyclomune

    cyclosporine cyclosporine ophthalmic

    May 23, 2021 at 06:51 | Report abuse | Reply
  36. tausAffessy

    https://tadacipetadalafil.com/ buy generic cialis online with mastercard tadalafil generic where to buy tadalafil blood pressure cost of cialis

    May 24, 2021 at 05:11 | Report abuse | Reply
  37. combigan

    combigan eye drops combigan side effects

    May 24, 2021 at 06:53 | Report abuse | Reply
  38. cyclomune

    cyclosporine ophthalmic buy cyclosporine online

    May 24, 2021 at 07:49 | Report abuse | Reply
  39. brimonidine

    brimonidine use combigan generic prices

    May 24, 2021 at 07:57 | Report abuse | Reply
  40. Tembepteriope

    generic tadalafil from uk side effects of tadalafil tadalafil generic where to buy tadalafil order online no prescription https://apcalisetadalafil.com/ – buy generic cialis online with mastercard

    May 24, 2021 at 13:40 | Report abuse | Reply
  41. tausAffessy

    where to buy generic cialis online safely what is tadalafil tadalafil daily online lowest price cialis https://tadacipetadalafil.com/

    May 24, 2021 at 15:16 | Report abuse | Reply
  42. tausAffessy

    cost tadalafil generic https://tadalafilol.com/ – tadalafil order online no prescription buy generic cialis online with mastercard prescription tadalafil online buy tadalafil

    May 25, 2021 at 03:50 | Report abuse | Reply
  43. Unitmerienepeft

    generic cialis tadalafil https://tadalafilol.com/ buy generic cialis online with mastercard where to buy tadalafil on line cialis without prescription

    May 25, 2021 at 13:59 | Report abuse | Reply
  44. Tritreviewifind

    https://tadagatadalafil.com/ buy tadalafil what is tadalafil generic tadalafil from uk prescription tadalafil online

    May 25, 2021 at 21:37 | Report abuse | Reply
  45. Tritreviewifind

    generic cialis tadalafil https://tadalafilol.com/ – tadalafil what is tadalafil tadalafil cialis cost of cialis

    May 25, 2021 at 23:57 | Report abuse | Reply
  46. avana

    avana india buy avana online

    May 26, 2021 at 07:21 | Report abuse | Reply
  47. Unitmerienepeft

    buy cialis https://tadagatadalafil.com/ – tadalafil side effects tadalafil dosage where to buy tadalafil on line https://cttadalafil.com/

    May 26, 2021 at 17:05 | Report abuse | Reply
  48. Soosteemocush

    cost of cialis https://tadagatadalafil.com/ – tadalafil order online no prescription generic cialis tadalafil generic cialis tadalafil cheapest tadalafil cost

    May 27, 2021 at 00:03 | Report abuse | Reply
  49. Cleveland Califf

    Have you ever heard of second life (sl for short). It is essentially a video game where you can do anything you want. SL is literally my second life (pun intended lol). If you want to see more you can see these sl authors and blogs

    http://myvedana.blogspot.com/2007/03/control.html?m=0

    May 28, 2021 at 06:17 | Report abuse | Reply
  50. Wilton Murin

    Have you ever heard of second life (sl for short). It is essentially a online game where you can do anything you want. SL is literally my second life (pun intended lol). If you would like to see more you can see these Second Life websites and blogs

    http://digitalnarratives.blogspot.com/2011/11/

    May 29, 2021 at 06:58 | Report abuse | Reply
1 2 3 4 5

Leave a Reply to www.pharmaceptica.com


 

CNN welcomes a lively and courteous discussion as long as you follow the Rules of Conduct set forth in our Terms of Service. Comments are not pre-screened before they post. You agree that anything you post may be used, along with your name and profile picture, in accordance with our Privacy Policy and the license you have granted pursuant to our Terms of Service.

Advertisement
About this blog

Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love.

Archive
March 2012
M T W T F S S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
  • An error has occurred, which probably means the feed is down. Try again later.