 |
|
|
|
 Children can develop coping skills by handling some stress. Experts advocate maintaining kids' routines during stressful times.
February 16th, 2012
09:43 AM ET
How to stop your kids from stressingEditor's note: CNN contributor Amanda Enayati ponders the theme of seeking serenity: the quest for well-being and life balance in stressful times.
Not necessarily from catastrophic burdens such as death, abuse or abandonment (though far too many children are dealing with those as well), but from the slow boil of everyday anxieties - a swell of unrelenting childhood stress that, in the long term, may bury our kids good and well in a tsunami of serious health problems. More, faster, better High on the list of stressors is the pressure many parents place on their kids: the mentality that the earlier a child does something - walks, talks, reads chapter books, excels in advanced robotics for kindergartners - the better. “There has been a sea change, a cultural shift,” says Denise Clark Pope, senior lecturer at Stanford University’s School of Education and co-founder of Challenge Success, a project that aims to reduce unhealthy pressure on young people. “We live in a society where there is a premium on performance as opposed to mastery or effort; on grades and scores over engagement; on speed and outer appearances over intrinsic motivations. “Many parents are getting caught up in the craziness, in the ‘more is better’ and ‘faster is better’ mind-set. Children end up overscheduled and in and out of schools and classes, with very little time left over, including for sleep.” Strategies for stress relief The experts Belsky, Pope and Parul Chandra, head teacher at Bing Nursery School, Stanford’s laboratory preschool - favor a handful of strategies that have proven effective in helping children reduce, prevent or cope with stress. Allow for playtime, downtime, family time. A young child’s job is to play. Pope says, “Research shows that playtime, downtime and family time are major protective factors in increasing health and well-being, and lowering stress in children.” Children also need to feel part of an unconditionally loving family. “You can’t have the benefits of family without spending time together. And it doesn’t matter how you define family; it doesn’t have to be biological. What does matter is literally sitting down, having meals and doing activities together,” she says. Studies shows that family meals are the single strongest predictor of higher achievement and fewer behavioral issues for children between 3 and 12. “That’s 25 minutes, five times a week.” Children need time to reflect, to rejuvenate, to rest, Pope says. “And we include sleep in that because lack of sleep is correlated to higher rates of depression and anxiety.” Distract. Belsky finds that distraction can be an effective strategy for both younger and older children. “It’s really a matter of turning their attention elsewhere, away from what’s stressing them,” he says. Early on, adults can help children regulate their attention. Eventually, children will develop the skill themselves and learn to place their focus away from what’s bothering them. Problem-solve. “We as adults tell children how to solve problems,” Chandra says. “But problem-solving with them instead of for them is very important. You want children to think about what it is they are going through. Have them explain it to you. And then articulate it back so that you can be sure that you are understanding correctly and that you’re both on the same page.” Ask open-ended questions such as “What do you think may help?” Having children brainstorm a list of possibilities, making them aware of strategies they have used in the past and getting them to come up with solutions can all be hugely empowering for a child. Keep routines. Chandra advocates maintaining children’s routines during particularly stressful times. “It’s important that they don’t feel like their whole lives are topsy-turvy, that they have parts of the day to look forward to living in the moment and just being a child.” Watch, listen, communicate, reassure, validate. Listen and watch for atypical behaviors in children, suggests Chandra. The younger the children, the harder it will be for them to talk about what they are feeling. Pay attention to your child’s stories. Know that their dramatic play is a window into what they’re thinking, going through and worrying about. Validate children’s feelings. Tell them, "I know how that feels" instead of "you shouldn’t be feeling that way.” Validating is important because it alleviates a lot of stress. But also guide children toward empathizing with others. Ask, “How do you think the other person feels?” Communicate with your child. Talk about your most aggravating times. Bring up things that caused you stress and how you resolved these problems. Reassure children that they will be OK. “There is a whole palate of feelings between mad and sad," Chandra says. "Stress is always going to be there, but you have to give children the skills and words to be able to talk about it. If you don’t, behaviors will come out later and you will wonder where they came from! But acting out usually represents months and years of incidents and feelings that haven’t been discussed - layer upon layer upon layer.” Let children be children. All three experts warn against treating children like smaller versions of adults. “Physiologically, kids are not mini-adults,” Pope says, “and the idea of miniaturizing the adult world is a huge problem. It can lead to things like inappropriate use of media, inappropriate ways of dressing and inappropriate things being put on children’s shoulders.” Chandra advises, “Be mindful of conversations and things that children can pick up on at home. They pick up more than we think they do. And they if do happen to overhear something, explain that it’s an adult agenda, that their parents will take care of it. “Children are innately wired to be happy people, and they tend to live in the moment. We as adults have so much to learn from them.” A life with no stress? Belsky says, “Look, no life is going to be stress-free. There is something to be said for learning to cope with stress that is in your capacity to cope with.” Permitting our children the opportunity to experience some stress and enabling them to deal with it creates coping capacity. When you are building muscle, you shouldn’t be lifting too many weights. But the right amount can strain your muscles enough to increase strength. Coping is the same way. If it’s the right amount, children build capacity. Family’s values Pope recommends that families sit down and take a hard look at the value systems driving them. “Ask the big questions: How are you, your school and your child defining success? It is often that definition, that value system, that is driving the unhealthy stress.” Work together to write a mission statement that articulates the family’s core values, Pope suggests. Who are you as a family? Where are you going? And who are you not? A lot of important parenting choices are made on the fly from your gut. “You ask people what they want for their children and most will say, ‘A happy, healthy, self-sufficient person who gives back to society.’ But if you work backward from that, it’s not about the overscheduled, gratified 8-year-old. We are talking about the long term here.” Pope adds, “And even if that train has already left the station, it’s not too late. It’s never too late! Put your stake in the ground, abide by it and live your values.” soundoff (1,009 Responses)« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 Next »Leave a Reply to Sprinter Mechanic Near Me
Next entry »Mars puts Snickers bars on a diet
« Previous entry'I gained more with them than I ever lost in a limb'
|
  About this blog
Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love.
 |
|
|
|
There is a good chance that my children (and yours) are stressed out on a daily basis.
help with college essays argumentative essay on college education writing argument essays
essay writer online knowledge essay writing essays global warming
analytic rubric for essay writing writing a 21st speech completed research paper
term paper for sale personal statement essay for college social science research proposal
where can i buy viagra in los angeles area viagra man walmart without prescription pharmacist viagra for women
great cover letters college stress essay pay to do college math homework
Para fabricar piezas por decoletaje se utilizan tornos automáticos, que hoy en día mayoritariamente son controlados mediante sistemas de control numérico (CNC — Computerized Numeric Control), aunque también siguen existiendo y utilizándose los tornos controlados por levas.
https://betwin88.co/bw/profile.php?section=personality&id=152198
help write my biography paper writer online dissertation law
Amazing blog! Do you have any tips for aspiring writers? I'm planning to start my own site soon but I'm a little lost on everything. Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that I'm totally overwhelmed .. Any recommendations? Many thanks!
https://BobJohnsonblog398.com/
I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your sites really nice, keep it up! I'll go ahead and bookmark your website to come back later on. All the best
https://BobJohnsonblog398.com/
cialisВ® discount cialis cialis suppliers uk cheap
Hi there to all, how is the whole thing, I think every one
is getting more from this site, and your views are fastidious designed for new visitors.
Feel free to visit my blog post login sbobet
cheap viagra and cialis in australia generic cialis uk cialis
best cheap website for viagra online brand viagra military viagra
cialis usa cialis w/o perscription cialis and viagra mix
detectives privados motril
https://www.argadetectives.com/moncloa-madrid.html
I contacted him for marriage help, He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,24 hours later,My Ex Husband called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me and the kids before now and one week after my Husband called me to be pleading for forgiveness, I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact Robinson Buckler on his personal email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..He also cure herpes, Contact him for herpes cure too direct on: Robinsonbucler @{{gmail.}} com.https://robinbuckler. com....💕”💕”
cialis chennai buy cialis in australia online cialis [canada –
viagra coupons online viagra geneirc viagra online south africa
detectives privados las palmas
https://www.argadetectives.com/detectives-coin-malaga.html
viagra shipped to canada viagra on canada purchase viagra with paypal
4 pack viagra on line what is super viagra viagra online canada
viagra online australia paypal if you have insurance how much does viagra cost ca i buy viagra online
online viagra greece canada pfizer viagra generic viagra sildenafil citrate
After study several of the websites on your internet site now, i genuinely as if your method of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark web site list and will be checking back soon. Pls have a look at my site too and tell me what you think.
http://6dollarmillion.xyz
Hi to all, how is the whole thing, I think every one is getting
more from this website, and your views are good designed for new people.
Look into my blog post zipper pocket insert for travelers notebook kit
I'm really experiencing the design and layout of your own blog.
It's an incredibly easy in the eyes making it a lot
more enjoyable for me personally to come here and visit more regularly.
Did you hire out a designer to generate your theme?
Exceptional work!
Feel free to visit my site ... ruled notebook paper for sale
Imagine getting hundreds of people flooding your inbox on autopilot, This is made thanks to traffic conveyed on autopilot over various “viral tiers”. 100 commissions of up to 900+ dollars DAILY. More details: https://bit.ly/2YfQFcC
https://bit.ly/2YfQFcC
I always was concerned in this topic and stock still am, thanks for posting.
http://www.zortilonrel.com/
There is noticeably a bundle to know about this. I assume you made certain nice points in features also.
http://www.zortilonrel.com/
Thanks for making me to get new concepts about personal computers. I also hold the belief that certain of the best ways to maintain your notebook in perfect condition is with a hard plastic material case, and also shell, that matches over the top of one's computer. These kind of protective gear tend to be model unique since they are manufactured to fit perfectly over the natural housing. You can buy all of them directly from owner, or from third party sources if they are designed for your mobile computer, however its not all laptop may have a cover on the market. Once more, thanks for your guidelines.
https://Dreamproxies.com/features
california pharmacy pharma save on pharmacy
A motivating discussion is definitely worth comment. I think that you ought to write more on this subject matter, it may not be a taboo matter but typically people do not speak about these topics To the next! Best wishes!!
http://www.virtual-circuit.org/
24 hour pharmacy online canadian pharmacy erectile dysfunction pills
best drugstore eye cream treatment for erectile dysfunction global pharmacy canada
wow you hit it on the nose will submit to twitter
http://yourmatrixcashmachine.com
mexican pharmacy online ed medication best ed pills
legit online pharmacy online pharmacy no prescription canadian pharmacy reviews
generic viagra india viagra at tesco online viagra 100 100 mg viagra redtube viagra sale viagra phamacy stores in ohio where can i buy generic viagra 100 mg pfizer viagra no prescription viagra deutchland viagra cheap overnight shippimg viagra online pharmacy australia viagra online shopping asia generic viagra buy viagra on line? generic viagra using master card
You have observed very interesting points! ps decent site.
http://www.froleprotrem.com/
https://www.electricpercolatorcoffeepot.com/10-top-coffee-bloggers/
https://www.electricpercolatorcoffeepot.com/10-top-coffee-bloggers/
Hey would you mind stating which blog platform you're working with?
I'm going to start my own blog in the near future but I'm having a tough time selecting between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.
The reason I ask is because your layout seems different then most blogs
and I'm looking for something completely unique.
P.S My apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!
You can certainly watch your enthusiasm within the article you write.
The arena hopes for more passionate writers such as you who
aren't afraid to state the way that they believe. On a regular basis follow your heart.
my webpage – JoeQBukrim
you're really a excellent webmaster. The site loading speed is incredible. It kind of feels that you are doing any distinctive trick. Moreover, The contents are masterpiece. you've done a fantastic process on this topic!
https://www.electricpercolatorcoffeepot.com/10-top-coffee-bloggers/
viagra sale cheap brand viagra on the web viagra cana where can i buy viagra cheap viagra, depoxtine cialis and viagra mix buy viagra pills 365 cheep viagra 100 mg viagra online viagra 25 or 50? does viagra really work viagra viagra/cialis black and gold 800 viagra no prescription overnight delivery generic viagra
cialis 20 mg best online pharmacy for cialis generic cialis 200mg http://phrcialiled.com/ – where to buy cialis online ’
Con amplio camino andado en el mundo de los mecanizados de precisión, nuestra empresa de mecanizados, Mecánica Curiel, es una empresa de mecanizados establecida en la provincia de Barcelona, que lleva más de cuarenta años desempeñando una labor destacada en esta sociedad, con gran protagonismo en distintos puntos de la geografía española.
http://bbs.learun.cn/home.php?mod=space&uid=64875
Great – I should definitely pronounce, impressed with your web site. I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs and related info ended up being truly simple to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it at all. Reasonably unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or something, web site theme . a tones way for your customer to communicate. Nice task.
https://www.electricpercolatorcoffeepot.com/10-top-coffee-bloggers/
https://www.electricpercolatorcoffeepot.com/10-top-coffee-bloggers/