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December 15th, 2011
07:32 AM ET
How many times a day do you think about sex?Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him on his website, GoodInBed.
Men, on average, think about sex far less than that much-hyped interval. (Where that 7-second stat originated is anybody’s guess - it’s been bandied about for decades and was probably a misquote of the original Alfred Kinsey study on male sexual behavior published in 1948.) That’s why we’re fortunate to have Dr. Terri Fisher and her colleagues at Ohio State University, who recently tracked a group of undergraduates (163 females and 120 males between the ages of 18 and 25) as they used a golf-counter to tally their daily thoughts about eating, sleep or sex over the course of a week. Having sexual thoughts is healthier than not having them. “People who tend to have no, or a low amount, of sexual thoughts and complain about it may be depressed, controlling or could be so far removed from the flow of sexual expression in their lives that they may be unintentionally blocking thoughts as they are not sure what to do about them,” says sex educator Amy Levine. And in my experience it’s not true that people who are hard-up for sex (like singles, presumably) often have more sexual thoughts than people who have access to healthy sex on a regular basis (like couples). It’s often the opposite: People who have healthy sex lives are often more “eroticized” overall and generally want more of a good thing, while people who are not having sex sometimes start to care less about it and dismiss sex as a priority. When the latter does think about sex, it may be in a more obsessive way. “Both sexual deprivation and sexual activity can lead to sexual thinking,” argues Dr. Ed Ratush, who specializes in sexual issues. “If someone wants sex but does not have it in their lives, they will think about it, maybe even fixate on it. Conversely, having good sex leads to sexual thoughts because of the actual memory of it, physical and psychological.” One refreshing aspect of this new study is that it normalizes sexual thoughts relative to thoughts about other basic needs such as food and sleep. This shows that the average man is not a slave to his sexual thoughts (thinking about sex over and over and over and over), but rather maintains a healthy balance. The men also thought about food almost 18 times per day and sleep almost 11 times per day, compared to women’s median number of thoughts about eating and sleep - nearly 15 times and about 8.5 times, respectively. But what constitutes a sexual thought? “I think that there are way more sexual thoughts passing through our minds than the ones we zero in on, and then what we are designating as ‘sexual’ matters in this measurement,” says Ratush. “It would be interesting to know if the men were measuring thoughts about intimacy or loving thoughts versus sexually explicit thoughts.” While the median numbers in this study tell us that men and women are more similar than not when it comes to quantity of sexual thoughts, is there a gender difference when it comes to the quality of sexual thoughts? And is there a difference in the way men and women process these thoughts? The study didn’t address the content of thoughts, but in my experience, sexual thoughts in men tend to be more directly wired into the arousal system than in women. For example, a guy has a sexual thought, and almost immediately that thought starts to become an action. Women may have just as many sexual thoughts, but they don’t seem linked to an actual desire for sex in the same way. “Men are like driving standard transmission - if you move through the gears in the right order, you will get where you want to go,” writes Dr. Emily Nagoski, author of “The Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms.” “Women are like baking a soufflé - the outcome depends on the ingredients and the chef, sure, but it also depends on the reliability of the oven, the altitude, the humidity of the day… more variables, more variability.” Per Nagoski’s metaphor, a sexual thought seems to put the gears into action for men, but for women, a sexual thought is just one ingredient in the soufflé. Not only do the results help men realize that they’re “normal” if they don’t think about sex obsessively, but the findings can also give women some fresh insight into their male companions: In contrast to the stereotype that guys are always raring to go, the study suggests that, like women, men are complex creatures who may be preoccupied with plenty of concerns that have nothing to do with sex. Some guys may even be “soufflés,” too. So how often do you think about sex? soundoff (950 Responses)« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 Next »Leave a Reply to Sprinter Repair Mechanics
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Gentlemen, lest you were alarmed you might be abnormal for not thinking about sex once every 7 seconds (more than 8,000 times a day), a new study in the 
Depends. If I'm surrounded by muthafugglies, once every two+ years.
Women are suppose to think about sex more then men. They don't have a choice in the matter. When women hit the age of pubertiy. There biological clocks start there body telling them they need to have a child. Althou they may not think about having a child there body tells them different. That is why women think about sex more then men :p
I'm a 35 year old female, and I think about sex once every several months, and that's usually because I hear about or see it on tv.
tell me plz the disadvantages of sex before marriage and how many time a helthy and week person do sex in a day ,and also mention whoz elser boys doing handshaking sex what will be the its disadvantages in future thanks
I think about it 24 – 7
why else would I read this article
my thoughts exactly!
Finally someone honest!
hot!!
Constantly. Where the white women at?
...are we awake...?
too busy thinking about sex*
Thanks for commenting.Some women are cennott with the non-orgasmic aspects of sex including the emotional aspects and sensual pleasuring. Other women, who are familiar with orgasm from masturbation, hope for orgasm. It is highly misleading currently that society implies that female orgasm happens naturally' during sex.Many women confuse emotional and sensual aspects of sex with true sexual arousal and orgasm because they have never experienced these phenomena through masturbation.The non-orgasmic aspects of sex can be very pleasant but over the longer term they cause women to be much less enthusiastic about sex than men tend to be.If we acknowledge that men and women stand to obtain different rewards from sex, then men can be encouraged to invest effort in other aspects of the relationship if they hope their woman will invest in a sexual relationship.Young women may believe that the emotional rewards of sex are enough but over decades of a relationship/marriage the loving and romantic aspects tend to wane.Over time a couple will need to invest both in their sexual relationship together (by exploring sex beyond intercourse) and by making effort to enjoy each other's company outside the bedroom.
I'm not too turned on by you black men either.
EVERYDAY.....................
Thank goodness the myth has been busted publically for WE knew the data was disgustingly wrong and that myth prepetuated itself through people's insecurity of varying too far from the norm. If men really did think of sex so often the human race would have died off yeatrs ago – WE women would have killed you for perverts are one of societies nasty parasites.
I'm confused by your "WE knew" followed by "WE women"... the whole "men think about sex every 7 seconds" is a myth I almost exclusively have heard from women, not men... what "WE" are you referring to?
Hey, I learned something new about a week ago. I was sitting in the lobby of this hospital and I was eyeing the tattoo on the back of this young woman's neck which looked just like the Adidas logo. (look here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/ADIDAS-All-Day-I-Dream-About-Sex/112268135456031). I approached her and asked about her tattoo and whether she was a big tennis fan. And she replied that it stood for 'All Day I Dream About Sex'. I did a double-take and after some hesitation, she cautiously repeated what she said. And I said, 'I never knew that!' I swear, I never knew, until that moment. When I heard her say that, I thought she was kidding, or trying to make a pass at me. Honest.
So what is your point, that you are out of touch with pop culture?
No, I'm just saying I found it surprising (in a good way), if anybody else already knew. I don't know how well known this is... or if it was just made up after adidas went into business.
Yeah, Korn did that song in like 1998 lol.
As long as we're breaking out 90s acronyms..."Fila" means Forever I Love Atlanta
I wanna meet the woman who thinks about it the 140 times a day
I think women lie... prob cause of our society's expectations of them. I think about it far more the 140 times a day. Not full on fantasies but sex is always popping into my brain. And I'm far from a sexual deviant.
I'd just like to say God bless you Sunny.
I think I know who "Sunny" is....
Well, I'd say my frequency of thinking about sex is diminishing and at an all-time low possibly, I'm not sure. It has to do with the fact that I'm unemployed and living with my parents. I'd say I think about sex once a week or two, but it depends on who and what I see on a given day, which could trigger the thoughts.
So let me ask you this. Does that make you want to get a job even more and get out of your situation. As the old saying goes... No money, No honey.
Perhaps you're depressed...
Yes, I am depressed. No, it doesn't make me want more to go out and find a job... I just want to get a job to get away from my parents first and foremost.
George Costanza...is that you?
It would be interesting to see the same study with the age group of men and women 55-65.
I would guess the results would change very little for men. For woman of that age however,
I don't think they even give it a slight thought.
Not quite to that age yet but you are wrong. Have lots of female friends in that range and you would be surprised at how much they think and talk about sex, Don....
Was very sexual as a young woman, and just as sexual at 60+. I am sure it helps that my partner for the past 10 years is 10 years younger, and focus on doing the things that truly pleases me, as I him. Until him, I had not experience true lovemaking, it was just sex. I feel that because of the regularity, it keeps me youthful, energized and feeling sexy. Loving it!
That's the most absurd thing ever! People accepted that myth?! Stupid stupid stupid. Men don't even have a 8000 different thoughts in a week, let alone a day! How could they think about anything else if they thought of sex every 7 seconds?!
20 times a day is more accurate?! That's still outrageous. What is wrong with you people?
"Everyday I'm living in a world gone crazy"
I think 20 times a day is really low...I might think about sex 20 times an hour
Tip: Look up Ockham's razor. Because either everyone is a pervert and you're the only normal person on the planet or we're all normal and there's something wrong with you. Which do you think is more plausible?
it is the one reliable ocsrue of the core doctrines of Christianity that have never changed. The errors in the Roman Church's teaching about sex have been derived from too-high esteem of Greek philosophers, who did not believe that the physical creation was very good (Gen 1:31).What is needed is not an explanation for reproduction. The question, rather, is why sexual reproduction rather than asexual reproduction? 1. Pair Bonding. Pair bonding is good for two (or three or more) reasons.A. Companionship. Genesis 2:18 says Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Helper, or companion. Not servant, as is seen a few verses later: a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Review Genesis 2:15-25.B. Symbolism (Eph 5:32). I'm not talking about sign language type stuff. I'm talking about physical and living representations of deeper truths. The love that my parents have for each other and for me has profoundly taught me about my relationship with God and other people. And I know it's taught them a lot too (see Eph 5:25). As a Christian, I believe in the trinity, so I believe that Christ has always been around, and people who put their faith in Him have always been His church. Galatians helps explain this a bit.C. Family. you really didn't address what I said about marriage being the basis of the family, which gives protection and moral training to children. The family is always the basic unit on the Bible, not the individual.2. Pleasure.You said that the claim God likes it a lot was not an explanation but simply an assumption. You apparently didn't read the passage I noted there, so I'll paste it in here for you. Let your fountain be blessed,and rejoice in the wife of your youth,a lovely deer, a graceful doe.Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;be intoxicated always in her love. (Prov 5: 18-19)If that's not sufficient, just tell me; the Bible makes its approbation of sexual pleasure clear. As I said, God invented sex. A good God wants His creatures to have pleasure. You end with a condemnation of lust I take it that this is your attempt to explain “sexual desire” as a consequence of turning from God. Lust is not the same as sexual desire. Lust is desire turned selfish. Lust is when sex becomes a mere tool of pleasure rather than an expression of love. Lust is when a man tells his wife, It's no fun to have sex with a fat woman; go lose eighty pounds. At that point, he is using her, not caring for her. Although the Bible does not spell out the difference (it assumes its audience knows it), it is clear that fornication is not the same as sexual intercourse from passages like 1 Cor 7:1-8, where Paul encourages sexual intercourse to prevent fornication.
I think that there is no reason why not to think about sex the fact is from the way women dress an the way they walk plus everywhere you look there is a women so if you say you don't think about sex at anytime of day this is a lie, if you are man enought to admit it I know this is always on my mind, sex and money goes hand and hand, in that order.
Sex, yeah...always on my mind. Money...hardly ever. Some of us are motivated by ideas, thoughts, and principles.
So tracking 383 students who are busy with their studies, stressed out about their exams, worried about their loans and concerned about becoming "ex-boy friends or ex-girlfriends" foe not having enough time for pleasure can give accurate scientific results for all adults of the 7 billion people on this planet!!! You must be jocking! This study has nothing to do with science in anyway! Who do you guys think you are fooling? I tell you, you are trying to fool the happy people to please the depressed ones! This will work for the latter but the happy ones won't buy it, they don't even care...Keep waisting your money in this type of unrealistic studies...Good luck!
My first thought upon reading the article was "You asked college kids about sex and thought you'd get an HONEST answer? Seriously?!"
Men don't think of sex all the time the news media does.
Spot on.
I actually sqtniued up my eyes so I couldn't read the text and scrolled by the spoilers above. At least you had a warning. I've seen a couple things that have not been so kind.
I've never actually counted how often I think about sex during the course of the day, but it's more than once or twice.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrNcD34KFhM&feature=player_detailpage
I see your music is so terrible that the only way to get publicity is to spam forums with your garbage.
Do yourself a favor and just give up singing. You a terrible, horrible, no good and very bad. Your mother would even be ashamed.
terrible. Also, you're nose doesn't look so important that you'd underline in with that stash.
I would have gone through an entire case of their "golf counters' in that week. Yep, would have broken the mechanism right off of it.
So we've learned that thoughts about sex are caused both by getting sex as well as being deprived of sex. What a revelation!
Ima sex kitten
After seeing Ian's picture, I'm definately thinking about sex.....
I mean "definitely".
After seeing Amy Levine's picture, I would agree. I'm thinking of doing her right now
I don't even breathe every 7 seconds.
I can not help it to not think about sex. I do not see how people do not think about sex very very often. There are to many ladies to see everyday without thinking about having sex with them. Gosh, I think that I can smell women sometimes. I love the way women walk all that from how certain clothes fit on different women. I just love to look at women and think about having sex with them because I am a Alpha Male at the core.
DH really wants a girl. He arelady has a son, but has admitted that he wanted him to be a girl as well. He wants to have the Daddy's little girl thing, which I think is totally sweet and fits his personality.
Why do you invite me to post, and then my post gets lost
Don't bother me while I'm thinking.
As little as possible. Mostly it's an activity for farm animals and hormone-challenged humans. There are 1,001 better things to do with your life that are baggage-free, unless you're flying. Then you'll have baggage. Otherwise, who needs baggage. I get all the kicks I need from my two' Stangs. Don't need the grunting and the slime...
You do it with your horses?
FIRST MY FRIEND I DONT DEVULGE MY PERSONAL LOVE LIFE & I THINK THATS CROSSING THE LINE AND YOU SHOULD SHOW SOME RESPECT I DONT CARE HOW MANY DEGREES YOU HAVE
How does one count a two-hour thought?
This article should be about when do you not think about sex ( when you're awake )
Uhhh about 20 times a day or so. And as Ludacris says "some say sex is overrated but they just ain't doin' it right!" Sooo true.
So people have counters in front of them all day as they plunk away on them at any wisp of a thought? Ok... That's kind of like telling someone to not think about pink elephants and expecting them to be able to do it.
I am 67 and until lately have enjoyed the peace and quiet of not being bothered by sex thoughts for over 15 years. But lately making the acquaintance of a person 25 years my junior has stirred what I had assumed were dead embers. Nothing will come of this, as I do not want any disruption in my life. But it is most odd to have feelings of lust again, at my age.
Wow, no sexual thoughts for 15 years!! I don't think I've heard anybody say anything like that before. I'm guessing you're a woman? Or am I wrong.
What time is it?
ITS REALLY NONE OF YOUR NASTY BUSINESS
The sex bit will lessen as you grow older to a certain extent. Eventually the food and sleep grow more important.
Which leads me to the question of what the results were about the other parts of the study...
I think about it quite often throughout the day, but seldom does it lead anywhere. My husband works a gazillion hours a week and is understandably more tired than I am.
I guess the thinking of sex and the doing of sex are completely different studies.
More info on this is in novel – king of Bat'ha – about sex in the Middle East.
When I posted this it was mngiidht and I was in a hotel, and I forgot two important points.1. The only explanation that evolution can give for sex involves survival. Sex can only be explained if it makes people more likely to survive. Creation can explain the beauty of sex as well. Relationships, pleasure, and family are not merely useful, they are beuatiful because God made them that way.2. your interpretation of Gen 3:16 ( Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”) was strange. About every time I hear a Christian explain that verse, there is a different interpretation. I\'ve never heard your idea of desire meaning specifically sexual desire, but I don\'t think it makes sense with the he will rule over you part. See Genesis 4:7, where the same phrase is used of sin and Cain. A couple of plausible versions I\'ve heard are these:A. Woman will want a loving relationship with man, but he will abuse her.B. Woman will want to dominate man, but will not be able to (This fits Gen 4:7).C. Woman\'s affections will be toward her husband, and his actions will influence her emotionally. (This one has a lot of complicated Hebrew etymology behind it.)
Weird. I never think about sex. My p@nis handles all of that for me automatically. It says, "HEY!!! Stop what you're doing and get me some action!" This can happen if I'm around beautiful women or even just by myself and thinking about nothing in particular. It pretty much has a mind of its own.
I probably (fap) don't (fap) think about (fap) sex (fap) any more than (fap) the average guy. (fap fap fap...)
I think about sex with every woman I've ever met. I think all women are wonderful 🙂
i think sex every time, and every where,,, make me very strong to doing sex,,,
http://fajrisaputra.com
Damn, I voted wrong. It's because I want a girl, but blue is my friaovte color, so I picked blue. : ) I have wanted a girl my entire life, so since starting to TTC, I only imagine a boy and mostly only pick out boy names...I'll plan for and get excited for a boy, but if I have a girl, but will be thrilled.
What the heck is sex ? I guess thats something I hadn't had in years. Like 30 years
I never think of sex.
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i think about having sex with fat chicks all the time
There is only one thing i think about doing every 7 seconds and its not sex...
I wish I chould show this article to my wife. She thinks I should feel lucky that she wants me all the time, but honestly it's more of a chore than anything else, cuz if I don't come on to her one night, she'll be mad at me the next day saying I don't love her/want her. She thinks that being tired isn't an excuse, even when it's 1am, and I was up at 6am. I just want sex to be fun again.
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I am a woman and I think of sex constantly. It is actually quite annoying because I can't concentrate on getting work done.