home
RSS
How many times a day do you think about sex?
December 15th, 2011
07:32 AM ET

How many times a day do you think about sex?

Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him on his website, GoodInBed.

Gentlemen, lest you were alarmed you might be abnormal for not thinking about sex once every 7 seconds (more than 8,000 times a day), a new study in the Journal of Sex Research arrives to reassure you.

Men, on average, think about sex far less than that much-hyped interval. (Where that 7-second stat originated is anybody’s guess - it’s been bandied about for decades and was probably a misquote of the original Alfred Kinsey study on male sexual behavior published in 1948.)

That’s why we’re fortunate to have Dr. Terri Fisher and her colleagues at Ohio State University, who recently tracked a group of undergraduates (163 females and 120 males between the ages of 18 and 25) as they used a golf-counter to tally their daily thoughts about eating, sleep or sex over the course of a week.

The results: Far from thinking about sex every 7 seconds, men thought about it about 19 times a day on average, whereas women thought about sex 10 times a day on average. The “on average” part is important to note, as there was lots of variability: Male students recorded between 1 and 388 daily thoughts about sex, while women thought about sex between 1 and 140 times per day.

Having sexual thoughts is healthier than not having them.

“People who tend to have no, or a low amount, of sexual thoughts and complain about it may be depressed, controlling or could be so far removed from the flow of sexual expression in their lives that they may be unintentionally blocking thoughts as they are not sure what to do about them,” says sex educator Amy Levine.

And in my experience it’s not true that people who are hard-up for sex (like singles, presumably) often have more sexual thoughts than people who have access to healthy sex on a regular basis (like couples). It’s often the opposite: People who have healthy sex lives are often more “eroticized” overall and generally want more of a good thing, while people who are not having sex sometimes start to care less about it and dismiss sex as a priority. When the latter does think about sex, it may be in a more obsessive way.

“Both sexual deprivation and sexual activity can lead to sexual thinking,” argues Dr. Ed Ratush, who specializes in sexual issues. “If someone wants sex but does not have it in their lives, they will think about it, maybe even fixate on it. Conversely, having good sex leads to sexual thoughts because of the actual memory of it, physical and psychological.”

One refreshing aspect of this new study is that it normalizes sexual thoughts relative to thoughts about other basic needs such as food and sleep. This shows that the average man is not a slave to his sexual thoughts (thinking about sex over and over and over and over), but rather maintains a healthy balance.

The men also thought about food almost 18 times per day and sleep almost 11 times per day, compared to women’s median number of thoughts about eating and sleep - nearly 15 times and about 8.5 times, respectively.

But what constitutes a sexual thought?

“I think that there are way more sexual thoughts passing through our minds than the ones we zero in on, and then what we are designating as ‘sexual’ matters in this measurement,” says Ratush. “It would be interesting to know if the men were measuring thoughts about intimacy or loving thoughts versus sexually explicit thoughts.”

While the median numbers in this study tell us that men and women are more similar than not when it comes to quantity of sexual thoughts, is there a gender difference when it comes to the quality of sexual thoughts? And is there a difference in the way men and women process these thoughts?

The study didn’t address the content of thoughts, but in my experience, sexual thoughts in men tend to be more directly wired into the arousal system than in women. For example, a guy has a sexual thought, and almost immediately that thought starts to become an action. Women may have just as many sexual thoughts, but they don’t seem linked to an actual desire for sex in the same way.

“Men are like driving standard transmission - if you move through the gears in the right order, you will get where you want to go,” writes Dr. Emily Nagoski, author of “The Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms.

“Women are like baking a soufflé - the outcome depends on the ingredients and the chef, sure, but it also depends on the reliability of the oven, the altitude, the humidity of the day… more variables, more variability.”

Per Nagoski’s metaphor, a sexual thought seems to put the gears into action for men, but for women, a sexual thought is just one ingredient in the soufflé.
Yet there are no absolutes - and that conclusion is, perhaps, the real benefit of this study.

Not only do the results help men realize that they’re “normal” if they don’t think about sex obsessively, but the findings can also give women some fresh insight into their male companions: In contrast to the stereotype that guys are always raring to go, the study suggests that, like women, men are complex creatures who may be preoccupied with plenty of concerns that have nothing to do with sex. Some guys may even be “soufflés,” too.

So how often do you think about sex?


soundoff (950 Responses)
  1. sun city casino

    Coi Tin Tức Thể Thao Bóng Đá 24h Vào Năm 2019casino free spinsLiverpool là ĐộI bóng nhận ít thẻ nhất ở Premier League mùa này và đang đứng trước cơ hội đạt giải thưởng Fair Play ở mùa giải thứ 5 tiếp tục. Sau khi thăng hạng 96 trái đất, nhóm tuyển nước Việt Nam đã lọt group hạt tương đương số 2 vòng loại World Cup 2022 khu vực vực châu Á.

    https://www.vnd188.bet/

    June 24, 2021 at 04:01 | Report abuse | Reply
  2. letou

    Thẳng Soccer Ngày Hôm Nay, Links Xem Soccer Trực Tuyến 24h xem mu west hamĐội tuyển nước ta chỉ muốn một kết trái hòa có bàn thắng để lần loại hai góp mặt trên World Cup futsal. Nhưng, để thực hiện được điều này

    https://sshuebner.org/

    June 24, 2021 at 04:18 | Report abuse | Reply
  3. RV Furnace Repair Near Me

    Next time I read a blog, I hope that it won't disappoint me just as much as this one. After all, Yes, it was my choice to read, however I genuinely thought you would probably have something useful to say. All I hear is a bunch of moaning about something you could possibly fix if you were not too busy looking for attention.

    http://www.erraid.net/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=ocrv.fun

    June 24, 2021 at 08:09 | Report abuse | Reply
  4. Local Marketing Experts

    I'm more than happy to uncover this website. I want to to thank you for your time just for this wonderful read!! I definitely enjoyed every part of it and I have you book-marked to look at new stuff on your blog.

    https://www.nbmain.com/NetBooking.Reservations.Server.Servlets.Availability.SiteAvailabilityMainR?innkey=mcdaniel&bg=&formname=rdetail&s=BookMark&backpage=http://socialmediacoversmadeforyou.com/&ikback=&pcode=&ik=0&months=3&month=April&day=1&year=2022

    June 24, 2021 at 09:19 | Report abuse | Reply
  5. 24 Hour RV Repair Near Me

    You are so awesome! I don't think I've read something like this before. So nice to discover someone with a few unique thoughts on this subject matter. Seriously.. thank you for starting this up. This website is something that is required on the web, someone with a little originality!

    http://digestivehealing.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=ocrv.us

    June 24, 2021 at 11:29 | Report abuse | Reply
  6. Internet Marketing Service

    http://lostpuppy.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=online-website-marketing.com

    June 24, 2021 at 11:29 | Report abuse | Reply
  7. wingstop near me

    Howdy! I simply want to offer you a big thumbs up for the great information you have right here on this post. I will be returning to your website for more soon.

    http://niksson.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=bestshopnearme.com

    June 24, 2021 at 12:12 | Report abuse | Reply
  8. Camper Repair Shop Near Me

    https://w-medicalnet.com/recruit/log.php?r_id=3332&url=http://ocrvcenter.com

    June 24, 2021 at 13:25 | Report abuse | Reply
  9. torch for dabs

    Dab Pads & Oil Containershttp://www.a-koleso.ru/diski_cat_info_17470_neo-667-bd/?page=7All products intended for use with legal smoking/vaping mixtures only .

    https://www.posts123.com/user/772541/radishwaste0

    June 24, 2021 at 14:17 | Report abuse | Reply
  10. RV Repair Shops Near Me Now

    When I initially commented I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on each time a comment is added I receive four emails with the same comment. There has to be a way you can remove me from that service? Thanks!

    http://nude-virgins.info/cgi-bin/out.cgi?ses=JLNVCWg7tj&id=393&url=www.ocrvcenter.com

    June 24, 2021 at 17:58 | Report abuse | Reply
  11. Sprinter Repair Orange County

    https://smartgrowthamerica.org/salsa/track.jsp?key=-1&url_num=6&url=http://ocrvcenter.com

    June 24, 2021 at 19:05 | Report abuse | Reply
  12. tradutor de libras

    An outstanding share! I have just forwarded this onto a
    coworker who was doing a little homework on this. And he actually ordered me breakfast because I discovered it for him...

    lol. So let me reword this.... Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanks for spending time
    to discuss this subject here on your web page.

    June 24, 2021 at 21:47 | Report abuse | Reply
  13. Logan Libman

    What is a blog subject that you would find interesting to read about?

    https://www.instagram.com/katekdesigns

    June 24, 2021 at 21:49 | Report abuse | Reply
  14. عرض الخيارات الثنائية

    Hello, I think your site might be having browser compatibility
    issues. When I look at your blog in Firefox, it looks fine
    but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.

    I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, very good blog!

    June 25, 2021 at 01:24 | Report abuse | Reply
  15. RV Repair Shop

    http://greenrooftechnology.com/Redirect.aspx?destination=http://ocrvcenter.com

    June 25, 2021 at 04:13 | Report abuse | Reply
  16. RV Repair Mission Viejo

    https://www.rondomusic.com/cgi-bin/affiliates/clickthru.cgi?id=bwcornwell&page=http://ocrvcenter.com

    June 25, 2021 at 06:26 | Report abuse | Reply
  17. RV Repair Near Here

    I need to to thank you for this very good read!! I certainly enjoyed every bit of it. I have you saved as a favorite to look at new things you postÖ

    http://localbusiness.nwfdailynews.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=www.ocrvcenter.com

    June 25, 2021 at 06:37 | Report abuse | Reply
  18. xemvtv16

    Coi Trực Tiếp Bóng Đáviv6Theo thể thức thi đấu, đội thắng ở cặp đấu này sẽ giành tấm vé đến Lithuania vào ngày hội bóng đá lớn nhất thế giới đến futsal. Tuyển futsal Việt Nam bước vào trận play-off lượt đi tranh vé dự play-off World Cup 2021 với sự tự tin. Tuy vậy, HLV Phạm Minh Giang bày tỏ, toàn đội ko ngán Lebanon song sẽ tìm cách để khắc chế sức mạnh của đối thủ bởi trên băng ghế huấn luyện là nhà cầm quân Ramiro Lopez, người từng dẫn dắt futsal Tây Ban Nha.|Dựa vào lịch thi đấu, quý khách rất có thể chuẩn bị xếp làm việc

    https://arubaeducation.info/detail/truc-tiep-vtv3-xem-lai-97821.html

    June 25, 2021 at 09:21 | Report abuse | Reply
  19. RV Repair Shops Near Me Now

    bookmarked!!, I love your website!

    https://contacts.google.com/url?q=https://sergio9x4u2.blogdemls.com

    June 25, 2021 at 09:55 | Report abuse | Reply
  20. RV Repair Orange County California

    This site was... how do I say it? Relevant!! Finally I have found something that helped me. Kudos!

    http://sc.hkeaa.edu.hk/TuniS/www.articlestwo.appspot.com

    June 25, 2021 at 11:01 | Report abuse | Reply
  21. KETINA BARLEY

    I want to say thanks once again to this great man called Dr Zuma and his spiritual way of helping people i lives in USA with my husband we love each other and also he care about me always look forward to make things easy for both of us 9 years after our wedding, we both work harder to make a family greatest surprise, we have a kid after some times again, we have another one so with this, we live in peace and he was so honest to me shortly, he started misbehaving that i don’t know what is going on then i asked him. Darling what is going on? you are so strange to me this few days hope i have not offended you? he said no. Not knowing he have an affair with one lady out side who promised him a car and apartment in one estate were i cannot see him also when he cannot see me i manage to stay with him pleading him he should forgive me if i have wrong him he started complaining he has no money that he has lost all his money in his business that he needs some money then i asked him how much is this money you are looking for? he did not know i can afford it. Then, he said $14,000USD i promised him i we give it to him just for him to care about his family. My greatest surprise, the next day, i went to work and our two kids were in school not knowing his going to leave the house before i come’s back i met some of his things outside i was waiting for him to come back he never come back i cried i miss him so much and he have taking all my money away i was only left with $800USD. One day, as i was ready a blog i saw a testifier made by someone in Australia called Jessica telling people about how this man call Dr Zuma helped her and the man’s contact email was there and his mobile number then i contacted him for a help and really, he brought back my husband now am so happy my brothers and sister if you are in such relationship problem kindly via Email spiritualherbalisthealing@gmail.com or Whatsapp +15068001647 Blog: https://spiritualherbal.blogspot.com he will help you solve all your problems.

    June 25, 2021 at 11:12 | Report abuse | Reply
  22. Adelaide Englander

    Great articles. Thank you for the information free spanish lessons on youtube

    https://www.spanishtogo.app

    June 25, 2021 at 13:13 | Report abuse | Reply
  23. Best Leadership Podcast 2016

    Good post! We are linking to this particularly great content on our website. Keep up the good writing.

    http://www.eurogirls17.com/cgi-bin/at3/out.cgi?id=258&tag=toplist&trade=https://backboneleaders.com

    June 25, 2021 at 14:49 | Report abuse | Reply
  24. RV Sales And Repair Near Me

    Saved as a favorite, I like your site!

    http://weekly.misty.ne.jp/14/out.cgi?id=zoor45&url=https://gretnadays.com/photos/emodule/489/eitem/333

    June 25, 2021 at 16:01 | Report abuse | Reply
  25. RV Repair Shops Nearby

    http://ins.o-hara.ac.jp/ViewSwitcher/SwitchView?mobile=False&returnUrl=http://www.manuel2i2k1.blogdosaga.com

    June 25, 2021 at 17:21 | Report abuse | Reply
  26. RV Repairs Near My Location

    https://ar.paltalk.com/client/webapp/client/External.wmt?url=https://milestonesonline.co.uk/

    June 25, 2021 at 18:49 | Report abuse | Reply
  27. RV Body Repair Shops Near Me

    /

    June 25, 2021 at 19:12 | Report abuse | Reply
  28. Shane Geelan

    A fascinating discussion is worth comment. I do think that you should publish more about this subject, it may not be a taboo subject but usually people don't speak about such subjects. To the next! Kind regards!!

    https://ad.hvacr.cn/go.aspx?url=commercialforklifts.com

    June 25, 2021 at 21:03 | Report abuse | Reply
  29. RV Repair Near Me

    /

    June 25, 2021 at 22:27 | Report abuse | Reply
  30. Camper Repairs Near Me

    Very good post. I certainly appreciate this website. Thanks!

    http://t.raptorsmartadvisor.com/.lty?url=https://www.www.lavandabg.com/&loyalty_id=14481&member_id=b01bbee6-4592-4345-a0ee-5d71ed6f1929

    June 25, 2021 at 23:40 | Report abuse | Reply
  31. bang xep hang laliga

    Trực Tiếp Soccer Hôm Naycakhia.linkNếu cứ chơi như cơ hội vừa tiêu diệt Everton tới 3-1 bên trên Sảnh khách hàng

    https://virandoamor.com/detail/truc-tuyen-thvl1-101510.html

    June 26, 2021 at 00:10 | Report abuse | Reply
  32. RV Repair Santa Ana

    Aw, this was an extremely nice post. Finding the time and actual effort to create a superb articleÖ but what can I sayÖ I procrastinate a whole lot and never seem to get nearly anything done.

    https://ninkirank.misty.ne.jp/14/out.cgi?id=flash070193&url=weblog.koehr.in

    June 26, 2021 at 00:22 | Report abuse | Reply
  33. RV Camper Repair Near Me

    There is definately a great deal to learn about this subject. I really like all of the points you have made.

    http://sportadmin.se/SSO/?REF=http://nonogems.com/blog/12_novias-vintage-joyas-atemporales-que-marcan-l.html

    June 26, 2021 at 02:15 | Report abuse | Reply
  34. Nearest RV Repair

    You are so cool! I do not suppose I've truly read through a single thing like this before. So good to find somebody with unique thoughts on this subject matter. Seriously.. many thanks for starting this up. This website is something that is needed on the internet, someone with a little originality!

    http://em.starz.com/rbc40/c2.php?STAZ/34987929/197338/H/N/V/https://www.reid6g5d9.p2blogs.com

    June 26, 2021 at 04:47 | Report abuse | Reply
  35. Camper Repairs Near Me

    You're so awesome! I do not suppose I have read anything like this before. So great to discover someone with some unique thoughts on this topic. Really.. thank you for starting this up. This site is something that is needed on the web, someone with a bit of originality!

    http://www.bust-old.unimore.it/out.asp?url=https://finn8x18k.boyblogguide.com

    June 26, 2021 at 06:59 | Report abuse | Reply
  36. RV Repair Near Me

    http://digitalbuzzblog.com/?wptouch_switch=desktop&redirect=https://www.www.waist.co.in/profile/JanineZara

    June 26, 2021 at 07:16 | Report abuse | Reply
  37. RV Air Conditioner Repair Near Me

    The very next time I read a blog, I hope that it won't fail me just as much as this particular one. I mean, Yes, it was my choice to read through, but I truly believed you would probably have something helpful to talk about. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you can fix if you were not too busy looking for attention.

    http://www.gkong.com/LINKS/linksurl.asp?gk_url=https://article.rabia.co.in/91468/exactly-how-to-perform-analysis-as-well-locate-the-very-best-horse-trailer-paint

    June 26, 2021 at 10:21 | Report abuse | Reply
  38. pharmaceptica.com

    sildenafil 20 mg online no prescription https://www.pharmaceptica.com/

    June 26, 2021 at 13:51 | Report abuse | Reply
  39. RV Repairs Near Me

    https://m.meetme.com/mobile/redirect/unsafe?url=http://www.dalton1z5v3.blogsvila.com/

    June 26, 2021 at 13:54 | Report abuse | Reply
  40. Maurine Cirioni

    Nice post. I learn something totally new and challenging on websites I stumbleupon everyday. It's always useful to read through articles from other writers and practice a little something from their sites.

    https://www.itic.org/redirect?r=96fe14b2-fa4d-4b35-860d-365da81621d2&redir=https://ocrv.vip

    June 26, 2021 at 14:37 | Report abuse | Reply
  41. Clement Rinaldi

    https://ad.atdmt.com/c/img?h=https://ocrv.club/

    June 26, 2021 at 14:44 | Report abuse | Reply
  42. RV Roof Repair Near Me

    Hi, I do believe this is an excellent web site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I will come back yet again since i have bookmarked it. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to help others.

    https://login-tk.ewe.de/module.php/core/loginuserpass.php?AuthState=_f129e4d348645839698b4d7d776dd3affbd987fedc:http://www.populardirectory.biz/Business/Customer_Service/?p=351

    June 26, 2021 at 15:30 | Report abuse | Reply
  43. RV Repair Shops Near My Location

    http://janeyleegrace.worldsecuresystems.com/redirect.aspx?destination=https://rvrepairgarakuno.blogspot.com/2017/09/rv-repair-roof-replacement-questions.html

    June 26, 2021 at 15:42 | Report abuse | Reply
  44. kevin sheehan podcast

    Way cool! Some very valid points! I appreciate you writing this post plus the rest of the site is really good.

    https://polo-v1.feathr.co/v1/analytics/crumb?flvr=email_link_click&rdr=https://backbonehunters.com/

    June 26, 2021 at 18:05 | Report abuse | Reply
  45. Different Leadership Styles

    http://regards.com/redirect.cfm?code=site&d=FC79921988&HP_URL=https://backboneleaders.com

    June 26, 2021 at 18:24 | Report abuse | Reply
  46. 1619 podcast

    Hello there! I could have sworn Iíve visited this website before but after looking at some of the posts I realized itís new to me. Anyhow, Iím certainly pleased I found it and Iíll be book-marking it and checking back often!

    http://supcourt.ru/bitrix/redirect.php?goto=http://www.backbonehunters.com/

    June 26, 2021 at 19:11 | Report abuse | Reply
  47. Business Leadership

    https://www.teatromunicipaldoporto.pt/newsletter/?link=https://backboneleaders.com

    June 26, 2021 at 21:25 | Report abuse | Reply
  48. Conservative Leadership Election

    I seriously love your website.. Excellent colors & theme. Did you make this web site yourself? Please reply back as Iím looking to create my own personal website and want to learn where you got this from or what the theme is called. Thanks!

    http://www.zhhsw.com/home/link.php?url=https://backboneleaders.com

    June 26, 2021 at 21:52 | Report abuse | Reply
  49. podcast rankings

    http://action.smartgrowthamerica.org/salsa/track.jsp?key=-1&url_num=6&url=https://backbonehunters.com

    June 26, 2021 at 21:56 | Report abuse | Reply
  50. morbid podcast hosts

    Greetings! Very useful advice within this post! It's the little changes that make the greatest changes. Thanks a lot for sharing!

    https://za.zalo.me/v3/verifyv2/pc?token=OcNsmjfpL0XY2F3BtHzNRs4A-hhQ5q5sPXtbk3O&continue=backbonehunters.com/

    June 26, 2021 at 22:18 | Report abuse | Reply
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17

Leave a Reply to Sprinter Repair Mechanics


 

CNN welcomes a lively and courteous discussion as long as you follow the Rules of Conduct set forth in our Terms of Service. Comments are not pre-screened before they post. You agree that anything you post may be used, along with your name and profile picture, in accordance with our Privacy Policy and the license you have granted pursuant to our Terms of Service.

Advertisement
About this blog

Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love.