home
RSS
How many times a day do you think about sex?
December 15th, 2011
07:32 AM ET

How many times a day do you think about sex?

Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him on his website, GoodInBed.

Gentlemen, lest you were alarmed you might be abnormal for not thinking about sex once every 7 seconds (more than 8,000 times a day), a new study in the Journal of Sex Research arrives to reassure you.

Men, on average, think about sex far less than that much-hyped interval. (Where that 7-second stat originated is anybody’s guess - it’s been bandied about for decades and was probably a misquote of the original Alfred Kinsey study on male sexual behavior published in 1948.)

That’s why we’re fortunate to have Dr. Terri Fisher and her colleagues at Ohio State University, who recently tracked a group of undergraduates (163 females and 120 males between the ages of 18 and 25) as they used a golf-counter to tally their daily thoughts about eating, sleep or sex over the course of a week.

The results: Far from thinking about sex every 7 seconds, men thought about it about 19 times a day on average, whereas women thought about sex 10 times a day on average. The “on average” part is important to note, as there was lots of variability: Male students recorded between 1 and 388 daily thoughts about sex, while women thought about sex between 1 and 140 times per day.

Having sexual thoughts is healthier than not having them.

“People who tend to have no, or a low amount, of sexual thoughts and complain about it may be depressed, controlling or could be so far removed from the flow of sexual expression in their lives that they may be unintentionally blocking thoughts as they are not sure what to do about them,” says sex educator Amy Levine.

And in my experience it’s not true that people who are hard-up for sex (like singles, presumably) often have more sexual thoughts than people who have access to healthy sex on a regular basis (like couples). It’s often the opposite: People who have healthy sex lives are often more “eroticized” overall and generally want more of a good thing, while people who are not having sex sometimes start to care less about it and dismiss sex as a priority. When the latter does think about sex, it may be in a more obsessive way.

“Both sexual deprivation and sexual activity can lead to sexual thinking,” argues Dr. Ed Ratush, who specializes in sexual issues. “If someone wants sex but does not have it in their lives, they will think about it, maybe even fixate on it. Conversely, having good sex leads to sexual thoughts because of the actual memory of it, physical and psychological.”

One refreshing aspect of this new study is that it normalizes sexual thoughts relative to thoughts about other basic needs such as food and sleep. This shows that the average man is not a slave to his sexual thoughts (thinking about sex over and over and over and over), but rather maintains a healthy balance.

The men also thought about food almost 18 times per day and sleep almost 11 times per day, compared to women’s median number of thoughts about eating and sleep - nearly 15 times and about 8.5 times, respectively.

But what constitutes a sexual thought?

“I think that there are way more sexual thoughts passing through our minds than the ones we zero in on, and then what we are designating as ‘sexual’ matters in this measurement,” says Ratush. “It would be interesting to know if the men were measuring thoughts about intimacy or loving thoughts versus sexually explicit thoughts.”

While the median numbers in this study tell us that men and women are more similar than not when it comes to quantity of sexual thoughts, is there a gender difference when it comes to the quality of sexual thoughts? And is there a difference in the way men and women process these thoughts?

The study didn’t address the content of thoughts, but in my experience, sexual thoughts in men tend to be more directly wired into the arousal system than in women. For example, a guy has a sexual thought, and almost immediately that thought starts to become an action. Women may have just as many sexual thoughts, but they don’t seem linked to an actual desire for sex in the same way.

“Men are like driving standard transmission - if you move through the gears in the right order, you will get where you want to go,” writes Dr. Emily Nagoski, author of “The Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms.

“Women are like baking a soufflé - the outcome depends on the ingredients and the chef, sure, but it also depends on the reliability of the oven, the altitude, the humidity of the day… more variables, more variability.”

Per Nagoski’s metaphor, a sexual thought seems to put the gears into action for men, but for women, a sexual thought is just one ingredient in the soufflé.
Yet there are no absolutes - and that conclusion is, perhaps, the real benefit of this study.

Not only do the results help men realize that they’re “normal” if they don’t think about sex obsessively, but the findings can also give women some fresh insight into their male companions: In contrast to the stereotype that guys are always raring to go, the study suggests that, like women, men are complex creatures who may be preoccupied with plenty of concerns that have nothing to do with sex. Some guys may even be “soufflés,” too.

So how often do you think about sex?


soundoff (950 Responses)
  1. Conception Sturdevant

    http://www.brettterpstra.com/share/fymdproxy.php?url=http://sunglasseseyedoctorsoptometristphoenixaz.com/

    June 20, 2021 at 12:41 | Report abuse | Reply
  2. Pei Cullison

    https://www.paltalk.com/client/webapp/client/External.wmt?url=https://petiakolibova.com/

    June 20, 2021 at 14:10 | Report abuse | Reply
  3. Delbert Zunich

    http://pt-br.paltalk.com/client/webapp/client/External.wmt?url=http://commercialforklifts.com

    June 20, 2021 at 17:22 | Report abuse | Reply
  4. Dwayne Brundage

    An interesting discussion is definitely worth comment. I think that you need to publish more on this issue, it might not be a taboo subject but typically people do not speak about such issues. To the next! Kind regards!!

    https://www.local.google.co.ls/url?q=https://ependantprotection.com

    June 20, 2021 at 18:17 | Report abuse | Reply
  5. Alfonzo Norby

    Iím amazed, I must say. Rarely do I come across a blog thatís both educative and interesting, and let me tell you, you've hit the nail on the head. The issue is an issue that too few men and women are speaking intelligently about. Now i'm very happy that I came across this during my search for something relating to this.

    http://cssdrive.com/?URL=http://www.taxdebtreliefhelpers.com/

    June 20, 2021 at 21:11 | Report abuse | Reply
  6. Chuck Diano

    https://eridan.websrvcs.com/System/Login.asp?id=48747&Referer=wavesplugins.com

    June 20, 2021 at 21:33 | Report abuse | Reply
  7. bj's near me

    http://cosdoc.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=nearmyspot.com/

    June 20, 2021 at 23:32 | Report abuse | Reply
  8. clothing stores near me

    Greetings! Very useful advice within this post! It is the little changes that produce the most significant changes. Thanks for sharing!

    http://www.famidoo.be/fr/splash/?url=HtTp://www.masternearme.com/

    June 21, 2021 at 00:33 | Report abuse | Reply
  9. gun shows near me

    http://farislands.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=www.masternearme.com

    June 21, 2021 at 01:02 | Report abuse | Reply
  10. indeed jobs near me

    http://www.hometownholidaysatverrado.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=quotenearme.com

    June 21, 2021 at 04:15 | Report abuse | Reply
  11. RV Repair Shops Near My Location

    http://www.mjsmanagement.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=ocrvcenter.com

    June 21, 2021 at 04:44 | Report abuse | Reply
  12. lowes near me

    http://www.magictreeproductions.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=masternearme.com

    June 21, 2021 at 07:59 | Report abuse | Reply
  13. powder coating near me

    http://handywebapps.com/hwa_refer.php?url=https://bjsnearme.com

    June 21, 2021 at 08:19 | Report abuse | Reply
  14. burgers near me

    https://www.hvra.net/inccounter.aspx?Name=CarpalInstability&Goto=https://quotenearme.com/

    June 21, 2021 at 11:44 | Report abuse | Reply
  15. dog grooming near me

    http://stamasfinancial.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=reviewnearme.com

    June 21, 2021 at 13:15 | Report abuse | Reply
  16. RV Roof Repair Service Near Me

    http://fourfact.se/index.php?URL=https://ocrv.today

    June 21, 2021 at 14:58 | Report abuse | Reply
  17. Mercedes Sprinter Steering Gear Repair

    I could not resist commenting. Well written!

    http://mcguckin-pyle.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=commercialrepairshop.com

    June 21, 2021 at 15:50 | Report abuse | Reply
  18. Chevrolet Cargo Van Repair Shop Near Me

    https://cs.eservicecorp.ca/eService/sr/Login.jsp?fromSearchTool=true&fromSearchToolProduct=toHomePage&fromSearchToolURL=http://campervanrepairshop.com

    June 21, 2021 at 16:25 | Report abuse | Reply
  19. denny's near me

    Hi there! This blog post could not be written much better! Looking at this article reminds me of my previous roommate! He always kept talking about this. I'll send this post to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. I appreciate you for sharing!

    https://xgazete.com/go.php?url=https://earme.a2hosted.com/

    June 21, 2021 at 17:13 | Report abuse | Reply
  20. RV Air Conditioner Repair Near Me

    Hello! I simply would like to offer you a huge thumbs up for the great information you've got right here on this post. I'll be coming back to your blog for more soon.

    http://minifleets.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=ocrv.xyz

    June 21, 2021 at 18:59 | Report abuse | Reply
  21. Sprinter Repair Shops Near Me

    Hi there, I do think your site may be having browser compatibility issues. Whenever I take a look at your blog in Safari, it looks fine however, if opening in IE, it has some overlapping issues. I merely wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other than that, wonderful blog!

    http://kommersant.org/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=ocrvluxurycoaches.com

    June 21, 2021 at 20:21 | Report abuse | Reply
  22. RV Sales And Repair Near Me

    Having read this I believed it was extremely informative. I appreciate you taking the time and energy to put this informative article together. I once again find myself spending way too much time both reading and commenting. But so what, it was still worthwhile!

    http://lh4associates.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=ocrv.mobi

    June 21, 2021 at 23:00 | Report abuse | Reply
  23. 2005 Dodge Sprinter 2500 A/C Heater Controls Repair

    http://www.w-medicalnet.com/recruit/log.php?r_id=3332&url=https://fleetservicesocrv.com/

    June 21, 2021 at 23:36 | Report abuse | Reply
  24. RV Plumbing Repair Near Me

    http://educateproject.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=www.ocrv.store/

    June 22, 2021 at 03:14 | Report abuse | Reply
  25. Emergency RV Repair Near Me

    Spot on with this write-up, I really believe that this amazing site needs a lot more attention. Iíll probably be back again to read through more, thanks for the info!

    http://www.jenteporten.no/go.php?url=https://ocrvluxurycoaches.com

    June 22, 2021 at 04:55 | Report abuse | Reply
  26. executive training near me

    http://newyorkveincenter.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=menmastermind.com

    June 22, 2021 at 05:03 | Report abuse | Reply
  27. bang xep hang laliga

    Liên Kết Coi Thẳng đá Bóng Futsal Việt Nam Vs Lebanon Vòng Loại World Cupvtv6 hdĐây có lẽ là ngôi trường hợp “của đi thay cho nhân viên" khá như ý đối với Ben McLemore. Thiếu chút nữa tay ném của Los Angeles Lakers đã được thể bắt gặp hiểm họa nghiêm trọng. Cập nhật kết quả trận nước Việt Nam vs Lebanon nằm trong play-off vòng chủng loại Futsal World Cup 2021.

    https://chiefscreolecafe.com/detail/xem-truc-tiep-truyen-hinh-htv7-44491.html

    June 22, 2021 at 06:52 | Report abuse | Reply
  28. RV Repair Near My Location

    Having read this I thought it was extremely enlightening. I appreciate you taking the time and energy to put this information together. I once again find myself spending way too much time both reading and leaving comments. But so what, it was still worth it!

    http://alarifi.net/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=ocrvmotorsports.info

    June 22, 2021 at 18:16 | Report abuse | Reply
  29. vietnam vs curacao

    Xem Thẳng Bóng Đávtc14 onlineTheo thể thức thi đấu, đội thắng ở cặp đấu này sẽ giành tấm vé đến Lithuania trong ngày hội bóng đá lớn nhất thế giới mang đến futsal. Tuyển futsal Việt Nam bước vào trận play-off lượt đi tranh vé dự play-off World Cup 2021 với sự tự tin. Tuy vậy, HLV Phạm Minh Giang bày tỏ, toàn đội không ngán Lebanon song sẽ tìm cách để khắc chế sức mạnh của đối thủ bởi trên băng ghế huấn luyện là nhà cầm quân Ramiro Lopez, người từng dẫn dắt futsal Tây Ban Nha.|Dựa vào lịch tranh tài, bạn hoàn toàn có thể chuẩn bị xếp làm việc

    https://rucyprus.net/detail/curacao-vs-an-do-93876.html

    June 22, 2021 at 19:04 | Report abuse | Reply
  30. Internet Marketing Firm

    Good blog post. I absolutely love this site. Continue the good work!

    https://extremeclay.net/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=consciousgrowthmarketing.com

    June 22, 2021 at 20:57 | Report abuse | Reply
  31. ketamine hcl for sale

    I'm excited to find this page. I need to to thank
    you for ones time just for this wonderful read!! I definitely loved every little bit of it and I have you saved
    to fav to check out new stuff in your web site.

    June 22, 2021 at 21:55 | Report abuse | Reply
  32. Best RV Repair Near Me

    http://ebizusa.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=www.ocrvcenter.com

    June 22, 2021 at 22:08 | Report abuse | Reply
  33. paula poundstone podcast

    http://www.suddencardiacarrest.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=backbonehunters.com

    June 22, 2021 at 23:35 | Report abuse | Reply
  34. RV Service Repair Near Me

    http://www.scottwills.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=ocrv.tv

    June 23, 2021 at 00:38 | Report abuse | Reply
  35. Google Marketing Company

    http://distanciaestoresupport.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=consciousgrowthmarketing.com/

    June 23, 2021 at 04:39 | Report abuse | Reply
  36. Digital Marketing Agencies Near Me

    bookmarked!!, I really like your website!

    https://www.pomerelle.com/Redirect.aspx?destination=consciousgrowthmarketing.com/

    June 23, 2021 at 05:38 | Report abuse | Reply
  37. RV Exhaust Repair Near Me

    Itís difficult to find experienced people in this particular topic, however, you sound like you know what youíre talking about! Thanks

    http://www.shinobi.jp/etc/goto.html?http://ocrvcenter.com

    June 23, 2021 at 05:41 | Report abuse | Reply
  38. chuyen gia du doan bd

    Trực Tiếp đá Bóng Thời Điểm Hôm Nay, Links Xem Bóng Đá Trực Tuyến 24h htv9hdĐội tuyển futsal Việt Nam đã có được một trận đấu đồng ý được trước đối thủ cạnh tranh đầy sức mạnh Lebanon. Kết trái Bà Rịa-Vũng Tàu vs Bình Phước ngày hôm nay 18h00 ngày 5/5, Hạng nhất nước Việt Nam.

    https://thisisthegreenroom.com/detail/binh-luan-tieng-viet-pes-2021-mobile-105176.html

    June 23, 2021 at 06:29 | Report abuse | Reply
  39. RV Brake Repair Near Me

    An interesting discussion is definitely worth comment. There's no doubt that that you ought to publish more about this subject matter, it may not be a taboo matter but generally people do not discuss these topics. To the next! Cheers!!

    http://decora.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=ocrv.org

    June 23, 2021 at 07:27 | Report abuse | Reply
  40. Social Media Marketing Businesses

    A motivating discussion is definitely worth comment. I do believe that you ought to publish more about this subject matter, it might not be a taboo matter but generally people do not talk about these issues. To the next! All the best!!

    https://www.asicentral.com/login.aspx?returnurl=https://www.consciousgrowthmarketing.com

    June 23, 2021 at 08:34 | Report abuse | Reply
  41. Digital Marketing Agencies

    https://windsorhillsrent.com/cgi-bin/out.cgi?ses=I8dOACDFG5&id=1399&url=https://consciousgrowthmarketing.com

    June 23, 2021 at 13:33 | Report abuse | Reply
  42. eye exam near me

    https://www.kultur-bad-vilbel.de/goto/?u=https://bestlocalnearme.com/

    June 23, 2021 at 18:57 | Report abuse | Reply
  43. RV Sales And Repair Near Me

    Your style is very unique in comparison to other folks I've read stuff from. Thank you for posting when you've got the opportunity, Guess I will just bookmark this blog.

    http://drurydesign.info/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=ocrv.tv

    June 23, 2021 at 19:18 | Report abuse | Reply
  44. đi casino ở singapore

    Thể Thaothẻ casinoLiverpool là đội bóng nhận ít thẻ nhất ở Premier League mùa này và đang đứng trước cơ hội giành giải thưởng Fair Play ở mùa giải thứ 5 liên tiếp. Sau khi thăng hạng 96 thế giới, đội tuyển Việt Nam đã lọt nhóm phân tử giống số 2 vòng chủng loại World Cup 2022 khu vực vực châu Á.

    https://www.vnd188.bet/

    June 23, 2021 at 19:29 | Report abuse | Reply
  45. Google Marketing Companies

    http://infantbot.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=codymarketing.com

    June 23, 2021 at 19:48 | Report abuse | Reply
  46. dunkin near me

    An impressive share! I have just forwarded this onto a friend who was doing a little research on this. And he actually ordered me lunch due to the fact that I stumbled upon it for him... lol. So let me reword this.... Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending some time to talk about this matter here on your web page.

    http://www.jkes.tyc.edu.tw/dyna/webs/gotourl.php?id=357&url=http://bulknearme.com/

    June 23, 2021 at 22:20 | Report abuse | Reply
  47. Google Marketing Specialist

    Good day! I could have sworn Iíve been to this website before but after going through some of the articles I realized itís new to me. Anyways, Iím certainly delighted I discovered it and Iíll be book-marking it and checking back regularly!

    http://diarioelhierro.es/statistics_banners.asp?idd=26496&link=https://www.hiddenapples.com

    June 23, 2021 at 23:22 | Report abuse | Reply
  48. uhaul near me

    After looking into a number of the blog posts on your blog, I really appreciate your way of writing a blog. I bookmarked it to my bookmark webpage list and will be checking back soon. Take a look at my website too and let me know how you feel.

    http://breitling.info/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=reviewnearme.com

    June 24, 2021 at 02:46 | Report abuse | Reply
  49. work from home jobs near me

    http://uploadspace.lakemaintenanceassociation.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=bestshopnearme.com

    June 24, 2021 at 02:53 | Report abuse | Reply
  50. Local Marketing Business

    This is a topic that is near to my heart... Cheers! Exactly where are your contact details though?

    http://www.winsock.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=zealouslifestyle.com

    June 24, 2021 at 03:27 | Report abuse | Reply
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17

Leave a Reply to Sprinter Van Repair San Diego


 

CNN welcomes a lively and courteous discussion as long as you follow the Rules of Conduct set forth in our Terms of Service. Comments are not pre-screened before they post. You agree that anything you post may be used, along with your name and profile picture, in accordance with our Privacy Policy and the license you have granted pursuant to our Terms of Service.

Advertisement
About this blog

Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love.