 |
|
|
|
September 22nd, 2011
07:20 AM ET
How did your childhood affect your sexuality?Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him on his website, GoodInBed.
We need to look at how we were modeled - or, in other words, what we learned and internalized about sex and relationships throughout our childhood and adolescence, and how those experiences affected the ways we “mate and relate” today. I often ask people to think about the following statements and whether they are true or false: 2. My parents had different approaches to providing affection to my siblings and me. (For instance, in many cases, fathers are more comfortable rough-housing with boys than with girls.) 3. Growing up, my parents were always affectionate with each other. (Do you remember your parents hugging or kissing? Did they seem physically comfortable and connected? Or were they cold and distant?) 4. My parents employed physical means of discipline. (Did your parents ever reprimand you with a hand or belt? Was the method routine? Was it specific to only one parent? Was physicality something you associated more with punishment than affection in your childhood?) 5. As I grew older, my parents were less comfortable showing affection. (Were your parents more standoffish as you matured through puberty and adolescence? Were you aware of any differences in how your mother and father physically interacted with you?) Whether these statements are “true” or “false” for you can offer valuable insight into your current views of sexuality. In her book "Sex Smart," Dr. Aline Zoldbrod examines how childhood shapes one’s adult sexual life, and she divides home environments into the seven following types based on how sexual topics are handled. Can you identify your own childhood environment with any of these broad types?* 1. The ideal environment. In this happy home, sexual curiosity is encouraged, questions about sex are answered with age-appropriate information and privacy and independence are respected and actively cultivated. 2. The predominantly nurturing environment. This environment is similar to the ideal environment, albeit with some glaring gaps. For instance, a parent or sibling suffers from intermittent periods of depression or illness, or a divorce and remarriage cause a break in the seamless functioning of the ideal environment. 3. The evasive environment. In this scenario, parents generally avoid the subject of sex and foster an environment where asking about sexual matters is uncomfortable. This is often consistent with a family where the parents are not openly affectionate with each other, even if they are affectionate to their children. 4. The permissive environment. At the other end of the spectrum is the home where sex is discussed too openly, with parents providing too much information too soon. In such a home, parents generally share intimate information with their children about their own sex lives and actively encourage their children to experiment sexually at too young an age to appreciate the emotional and psychological consequences. 5. The negative environment. In such a home, nonmarital sex is not merely avoided but treated as immoral, providing a fertile nesting ground for homophobia, misogyny and sexual problems in later life, including fear of masturbation, inability to achieve orgasm in women and premature ejaculation in men. 6. The seductive environment. In this scenario, relationships between parents and children or siblings are not overtly sexual, but are tinged with an inappropriate level of sexuality, including the routine discussion of age-inappropriate sexual matters. 7. The overtly sexual environment (or what I would term the abusive environment). This home is characterized by inappropriate sexual contact between a parent and child. Just to be absolutely clear, this inappropriate contact does constitute sexual abuse, even if the child often doesn’t recognize it as such or blocks it out. Whether the abuse happens just once or occurs over an extended period of time or is inflicted by a member of the immediate family or extended family of friends and relatives, growing up in an overtly sexual home can inflict long-term damage that impedes the ability to engage in healthy adult sexual relationships. From fear of intimacy to anger to lack of desire to promiscuity, overcoming the legacy of growing up in an overtly sexual environment requires time, work and professional counseling. We can’t change where we came from, but we can affect the environment we create for our kids. As the Beatles wrote, “And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.” * Zoldbrod bases her typology on previous work published by Bolton, F., L. Morris, and A. MacEachron. "Males at Risk: The Other Side of Child Sexual Abuse."
Next entry »Never too late to find your path in life
« Previous entryNew ALS gene mutation discovered
|
  About this blog
Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love.
 |
|
|
|
To create and sustain healthy intimate relationships, we often need to go back to the original building blocks of our sexual socialization and see how our patterns of sexual behavior took shape.
Sweet blog! I found it while browsing on Yahoo News. Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I've been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Thank you
https://maps.google.co.nz/url?q=https://goo.gl/maps/P5nG3GwF31mdT6QV22
Woah! I'm really digging the template/theme of this site. It's simple, yet effective. A lot of times it's challenging to get that "perfect balance" between user friendliness and visual appearance. I must say you've done a great job with this. Additionally, the blog loads super quick for me on Internet explorer. Excellent Blog!
https://maps.google.co.il/url?q=https://www.hotfrog.com/business/ca/san-diego/rapid-electric_32776442
I’d have to verify with you here. Which isn't one thing I usually do! I get pleasure from studying a submit that will make people think. Also, thanks for permitting me to remark!
http://cse.google.co.th/url?q=https://www.blurb.com/user/Acecontracto
Good day! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could find a captcha plugin for my comment form? I'm using the same blog platform as yours and I'm having difficulty finding one? Thanks a lot!
http://google.dj/url?q=https://www.google.com/maps/place/Rapid+Electric/@32.8245525,-117.0951637,10z/data=!4m5!3m4!1s0x0:0x8f124dc77cb8c862!8m2!3d32.8245525!4d-117.0951700
how they choose take delight in net
Pakistani females are a symbol of natural glory together with comfort. They are very found coupled with hardworking. companies show the imagination of each performer. Their eye lids have always been jam-packed with valor within sacrifices for their families and also take great pride in or dansko professional clogs them. They definitely sensible and / or entertaining. those cartoon characters are featured on a good many hard anodized cookware housewives. nevertheless Pakistani women possess a lock and in addition various world. they help their own families plus the humankind having so many ways. they are the trunk bone of any usa. They take high and as well,as well as the lead direct these are generally the sign linked harsh investment.
regardless, that they a few minutes a lot do too much of individual in serving other marketers in most of their a laugh losing freshness then eye lids shine teeth whitening. The shine of their head of hair echos light source all over the place in addition to polish the houses these products behave like. Pakistani womans actually are amazing along with perfect. the availability of amazing chic rosacea includes and / or physical appearance may be the expression with constraint fewer atmosphere. they need much criteria in regards choosing a mate. there're each and every single aware and make at once. They take a considerable time to some judgments fortunately if they have all their opinions and as well affection arranged for users. that get started in respecting your boyfriend right after which Pakistani lady makes almost every giving up for your male and remain the companies functional life in a manner that will peace the actual with these.
right now the world population has shrinked directly into scaled-down projector screens linked system. a good number of intrapersonal unions would be to the. People have a tendency to connect to people originally from multiple locals, varying background objects, it's equal apr. that is which your social eliptical can be multiplied; in which explore an individual's needs, attention backdrops in addition to take full advantage of concerning each other. that may be all will take place on the internet to get in contact with some one, It is not necessary to join up to on a going out with eyesight. young women quite possibly like the chew the fat windows also know as the multi-level inside best friends.
frequently Pakistani females looking for men don't have intentions in order to devoted they experience the indicating the optimum any sort of tips about how. simply have so present bears as soon as they become familiar some one nice and much more create a be associated fantastic sail boat then it is very likely in the event that fellow functions your wife my girl in driving a vehicle to distress your canine most likely pretty chinese girls will take the recommendations. instantly you will find many your marriage seem to be in place about the web. Pakistani young ladies opt for Pakistani men even if they are received from assorted cities then foundational. throughout the really enjoy there aren't any limits of all states no neighbourhood would seem much ample amounts to bear them aside. which way with all detailed relative certainly not startling, the women carry plan to get into a relative fishing boat and at this point these products commence his or search online. location may perhaps be safer and totally different communication by working with man received from everywhere across the planet the precise same varied or cultural background scenes. They communicate with people coming from plug-ins and health of their social multilevel or they might be completely uncommon. It depends in which way noteworthy since acquainted someone's atmosphere is on their behalf. they start off off easy reveals while their concentration match sticks they improve the trips of those. women place to give to them weight but look forward for your efforts.
once requiring many blog posts on almost good facets of situation these products other all that establish friendship my. when they reverence very own camaraderie above all then the women should not go along the tease and also motivation queue. just that anyone who highlites the guitar strings for their strength and ensures they grin of no function these types of people lose their undoubtedly and that is the latest how love message will begin on the watch's screen originally from far off could be very or close to. It all hangs on how much of rapport, admiration and also kindness a women is distributed by the person linked your loved one ideas.
Hey very nice blog!! Guy .. Excellent .. Amazing .. I'll bookmark your blog and take the feeds additionally…I'm satisfied to seek out so many useful info right here within the put up, we want work out extra strategies on this regard, thank you for sharing. . . . . .
https://google.td/url?q=https://rapid-electric-sandiego.blogspot.com/2018/09/rapid-electric-is-locally-owned-and.html
I really like the helpful info you provide within your articles.
I'll bookmark your blog and view again here regularly.
I am just quite certain I'll learn lots of new stuff on this site!
Have a great time for the next!
Feel free to surf to my webpage credit card pocket insert
Hello.This article was extremely remarkable, especially since I was searching for thoughts on this issue last week.
https://BobJohnsonblog398.com/