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September 16th, 2011
05:22 PM ET
Pat Robertson makes controversial Alzheimer's claimsPat Robertson, former presidential candidate and well-known televangelist, gave advice on his TV talk show “The 700 Club" this week that doesn't sit well with some people familiar with Alzheimer's disease. A viewer named Andreas asked about his friend, who started seeing another woman after his wife developed Alzheimer's: "He says that he should be allowed to see other people, because his wife as he knows her is gone. I’m not sure what to tell him. Please help." Robertson acknowledged that this is a "terribly hard thing" but also said the person in question is correct. "I know it sounds cruel, but if he’s going to do something, he should divorce her and start all over again, but to make sure she has custodial care and somebody looking after her," he said. "Isn't that the vow we take when we marry someone, that's for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer?" his co-anchor asked. There is the vow of "till death do us part," but Alzheimer's is "a kind of death," he said. Time.com: Pat Robertson's worst gaffes Paul R. Wolpe, director of the Emory Center for Ethics in Atlanta, takes issue with the idea that spouses of Alzheimer's patients don't have to have any fealty to their spouses because of the disease. "I think he misunderstands how important emotional support is to people with Alzheimer's. Except for the most extreme and close to death people with Alzheimer's, they respond to emotional context. The emotional part of their lives is the last part to go," he said. It's extremely therapeutic in many cases for people to maintain relationships with their spouses with Alzheimer's, he said. There are situations in which a spouse will choose to divorce a spouse with Alzheimer's or start a relationship with someone else while remaining married but will continue to remain connected to the Alzheimer's patient. Wolpe is troubled by the idea that it's OK to abandon an Alzheimer's patient because he or she is already dead. "I think abandoning a spouse because they have Alzheimer's is unethical. Divorcing them or not divorcing them isn't an issue to me so much; it's abandonment," he said. Robertson "did not say you have any responsibility to continue to try to support them emotionally, to visit them." Not everyone took such a hard stance on Robertson's remarks. Beth Kallmyer, senior director of constituent services at the Alzheimer’s Association, emphasized how stressful it is for caregivers of Alzheimer's patients to watch their loved ones in this condition, which can result in their grieving for a spouse while he or she is still alive. As for whether Alzheimer's is a kind of death, Kallmyer said she understands that some people may see it this way but said this also raises the need for education about the disease. "That person, even in the end stages, is still a person with a full history and a life that's been lived," she said. But it can feel like the person is slowly dying. Kallmyer and colleagues get calls from caregivers who don't know how to talk to their spouses anymore. To that, she says: "Talk to them like you used to talk to them. Do you know a favorite song that you could sing? To continue to have those conversations, and when people in the later stages are engaged with like that, there is a reaction, people react, and they can benefit from that," she said. If you have a question or need support, call the Alzheimer's Association's 24-hour hot line at 1-800-272-3900. soundoff (959 Responses)« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 Next »Leave a Reply to Tembepteriope
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So what's Pat going to do if it's his parents or children who get the disease? Walk away from them?
I wonder how he'll feel if he's diagnosed with it.
@ Jared I think he was already diagnosed with it but he doesn't remember
"I wonder how he'll feel if he's diagnosed with it."
He doesn't have it?
Or is he just nuts?
He is definitely a hypocrite. Fundamentalists believe divorce is wrong except when adultery is the reason. Apparently, it is now acceptable to dump your life long partner because of illness. My Mom has it and no one is cutting her lose. Her brother had it. Her father had it. His father had it. It runs through the family back through the generations and not one of them even considered dumping their loves. My aunt, in her late 80's kept her husband at home as long as was safe. She said: He was my dearest love for my whole life and I am not abandoning him now. On the day a worker came to give her a break she volunteered in the hospitals with Alzheimer's victims. My Mom was a Fundamentalist Christian though she does not remember it now. I am so glad she does not know that people of her own faith say it is okay to abandon the vulnerable.
I don't agree with Roberson much but he is right..
I never would have believed so before but he is right.
My wife suffers from dementia brought on by radiation necrosis from treatments of braion cancer (glioblastoma multiforme)
What I have gone through in the last 2 years because of what she has gone through is INDESCRIBABLE.
It's not even the same person anymore. My sweet wife actually died in August 2009.
I do everything..EVERYTHING..she can only lay on the couch and stare at a TV screen.
The space for these reply's are not adequate.
I remember how I felt about people who abandoned their spouses when they lost them through dementia, I remember thinking how courageous folks were who stood by their loved ones, NOW, I realize that the real courage is displayed by the people who leave it all behind.
Take care of your loved one and move on!
Put her/him somewhere safe and go on!
If not, it will be like that scene (I can't remember the movie) but this lawyer is being stalked by a former client who was sent to prison and then paroled...he finds the lawyer and after a huge strugle, in the last scene it shows this boat sinking into the ocean with the parolee guy handcuffed to the boat and going down with it...
That's how it is if a loved one sticks with someone that is not the same person anymore...you are handcuffed and you will not only lose them BUT everything that you ever saved in all the years that you worked!
My wife and I saved for 31 years, didn't even take a vacation and she was diagnosed 2 years before we retired.
I am going to lose her and if I stick with her ALSO everything that we ever saved for!
And for what?
Instead of Mesa Arizona, I am going to be paying for tattoed nurses and feces/urine smelling nursing homes....
Pat Robertson is EXACTLY right..
Even a blind squirrel finds an acorne every once in awhile.
Only those that have had to be a fulltime caregiver instead of a wife/husband know there is truth to what Pat Robertson said. Unless you have had to be in that role you can't really understand the sacrifices you have to make.
Sounds more like a better reason to split from all fundamentalist evangelists..and all others of their ilk.
So, Mr. Robertson, "What happened to "until death do us part"????
Only while the candy is dandy.
Simple. You redefine "death".
In sickness and in health.
Robertson is an idiot. When you marry you make an oath, whether to God, or yourself and your spouse... I'm glad Nancy Reagan didn't feel that way, she said her life was enriched with every day she was able to spend with her "Ronnie". Some people need to have their gene's removed from the pool and their lips sewn shut.
I couldn't agree more!
What ever happened to "In Sickness and in Health; till Death do us Part"? This is a preacher? Took care of my Father for the last 8 years of his life. He had Alzheimer's. I feel privileged to have had that time with him. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him. Would do the same should my Husband become unable to care for himself. What is wrong with people?
People need to think of the symptoms of alzheimer's not as a total loss of the memories and personality of the person who is suffering from the disease. Yes, the memories are gone but the person is still the same person as they were before they just have an impairment in the ability to access some parts of their mind. The challenge then for loved ones is not to challenge and test the person, but to find the aspects of the personality that remain and indulge those as to get more time and mutual experience with that person.
For example, if you have a loved one who loved fishing before developing the disease, you may not remember that they like fishing, but take them out. I did this with my father in law, with whom I had been close for a long time. He did not remember that he enjoyed fishing, on the way to the lake however, he was excited at the prospect, once on the boat I handed him the rod and tackle box, with no assistance or instruction from me, he put the lure on, tied a perfect knot, and casted out into the lake. If I had asked him for instruction in how to do this he would have been lost, but when given the opportunity he managed to do so with no problems. In short the person you knew before is still there, it is just more difficult to find them.
Thank you Joseph. My Mom has forgotten who my sister and I are and my dad is long dead. She is perfectly capable of enjoying what she used like going out for dinner with my sister and her husband. She does not know this is her child but she loves to get out and have a nice meal. If my sister is not with her she does not remember she has kids. If you love, genuinely love, a person you do not get rid of them because they don't remember you. Love is not based on whether or not the person remembers they love you. Anyone who divorces a partner for being ill never loved the person in the first place. It was all about getting and not giving. My Uncle was a sweet man who enjoyed company even though he did not remember anyone.
Bless your heart. You are a good man.
You are a sweet and caring person....
What a d0uche
Wow! Is that what Christianity believes? Give me a good ole athiest.
This one comment does not represent the teachings of Christ, any more than your off-hand comment at work yesterday represents the entirety of your existence. With that caveat, Christ-like mercy applies in all cases as a core principle of His message, and Robertson's comment seems mistakenly to apply mercy to one spouse at the expense of the other. He misses the point as a result.
Pat Robertson is about as far from Christ's teachings as it is possible to be while remaining on the planet. The only real question is why anyone listens to him at all.
Robertson ran for president but then he went into a tailspin when his fellow Marines said he spent all his time in the service "consorting" with ladies of the evening. Maybe he should just mind his own business instead of acting like a self righteous fool.
it's not an act.
These rich evangelicals like Pat Robertson should not be taken serious. They don't know anything about the suffering and pain this kind of disease caused. I have a Mom who have Alzheimer. It hurts to see her suffer, but it gave a chance to take the best care for her. It is stupid of Pat to say Alzheimer is like death. Does he think all sick people are like death?
How is euthanizing demented people any different than abortion ????????????/
Probably because, unlike the recipients of abortion, the mentally ill are actually PEOPLE, not merely clusters of cells that neither think nor feel pain.
To DARKON:
Here are pics of clusters of cells http://www.100abortionpictures.com/Aborted_Baby_Pictures_Abortion_Photos/
To Kme: That sounds like a nice open minded website that will give you a fair and balanced approach to a complex issue. I happened to look up what a fetus looks like when ~90% of abortions are performed (six weeks or earlier), and it looks NOTHING like that. Thanks for using disturbing pictures to scare and sicken people to join your side. I'll stick with facts and common sense, thank you very much.
Exactly! I guess Mr. Robertson can somehow claim when life begins (in the fetus) and when it ends (when you're diagnosed with Alzheimers). Why on earth do people listen to these twisted idiots?
Most medicare and medicaid expenses are to care for demented people, it is a complete waste of money.
so, what do you suggest we do, leave them by the side of the road at nite?
They are still people.
That comment leads me to believe you are not a person – not much of one, at the least.
Hope your caregiver believes that when you get old. What goes around comes around....
we should all start imagining robertson's funeral service. maybe we can prove that combined brain waves DO work.
So let me get this straight, this guy insists that life begins at the moment of conception yet ends when someone has Alzheimer's?
My dad died recently after a 12-year battle with this dreadful disease. My mom stuck with him through thick and thin (she was only 60 when he was diagnosed). His mind was gone at the end, yet the week before he died he called my mom by her name and told my brother he loved him. How are we to know exactly what's going on in someone's mind, even if we think they've checked out? You don't walk away from someone who has been loyal to YOU throughout their marriage. You deal with the hand that's been dealt to you until you can't love them anymore because they're gone. Who cares about your religious beliefs; it's about love.
Over 41 years ago my wife and I married for life. As a Christain, I find Pat Robertson's comments offensive.
As an atheist and a human being I find his remark offensive as well.
Those who respect him have to figure it out. I don't have that problem - never respected him, never will.
Me either..he uses the bible as a shield for his own inadequacies. You can't just read it, you have to live it.
Whatever happened to "...for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health..."?
It's sad. He always talks about having faith, but in the end he seems to be like the Apostles running away in the Garden of Gethsemane. What would he say if his family abandons him?
As a born-again Christian, THIS DISGUSTS ME. Any non-believers: Please do not blame GOD for Pat Robertson (or any human being for that matter). Free choice + a big mouth can sometimes = distorted truth.
Non-believers do not blame God for anything. The complaints are always about specific forms of religion and specific individuals. Having been raised in a really abusive family and fundamentalist church I tend to fire my shots at Christian and Muslim Fundamentalists. Jews don't try to convert anyone. I would never blame an eye in the sky for anything.
Pat R. Is a hateful racist God Nut Job..
Learn people .. the book you read is WRONG .. it is FICTION!
I agree, only just worked that out recently. I feel much happier now because of this realisation.
Come on people, it's Pat Robertson. Should we really be surprised he said something like this? This wack-job has been spouting off hurtful and hateful things for years. First Jerry Falwell, hopefully Robertson will join him soon.
I am 52 years old and I have been diagnosed with Multidomain Early Onset Alzheimers. Does Pat Robertson want to get rid of me like yesterdays garbage? I may not still be as sharp, mentally, as some people are, but I know what a real Christian is and he isn't it!!! I wish he could walk in my shoes for a day and feel what it's really like!!!
Perhaps his wife should follow the advice he gives - divorce him and go off with someone else. He obviously hasn't been in his right mind for quite some time.
Robertson doesn't mention if it's okay for the wife to leave the husband.
So, Robertson thinks a loss of mind is a reason for people to leave the so afflicted? Then I guess it's OK for all the crazy religious, evangelical, fundamentalists to leave Mr. Robertson ....... and visa versa! Crazy is as crazy does!
If Alzheimer's is "a kind of death," then I suspect Robertson and his co-anchor would be ok with euthanizing Alzheimer sufferers. And if the caller's justification was "his wife as he knows her is gone", one might interpret him as saying she no longer has the memories or personality that woman he married had. Well, it seems to me that fetuses are not likely to have memories or any sort of personality up to a certain point of development, so Robertson and his co-anchor must be ok with abortion up to a certain point of fetal development.
Anyone wanna bet me I'm wrong?
Pat Robertson does not (in this case) speak for the Word of God. We can go to the bible for this answer. Clearly, Pat is incorrect in this case. He is not a very reliable source. Much of Robertson's teaching are a little off base biblically. Beware. Although, I believe he means well, he makes a mess of things when he opens his mouth. I would look to more reliable teachers than Pat Robertson.
This guy just keeps getting run over by the stupid train...over and over and over....
please check Pat Robertson for Alzheimer's. He's forgotten Ephesians 5. He's an embarrasment to any follower of Jesus
I just got my inhertis of 100m and i was thnking of donating 10% to pat minis.... , but now i will give it all to the Alzheimer centre!!!!! beware of the false prophets, they are just there for the money.
as a mental health professional, i have advised couples where one partner has a disease where one of the partners will require long term care to divorce...rational: medical costs will suck what financial interests the couple has to pay for long term care. i have seen couples bankrupt because they have spent so much on care then the partner passes and the surviving partner is left w/no money. now...before divorcing...medical power of attorneys are generated, deeds of trust are transferred, etc., to the partner w/o disease. thien the ill partner is divorced and placed in an medical environment paid for by the SSI/medicare/medicad.
couples are divorcing for financial not because they do not care of each other!!
You encourage people to throw off their sick family members on to the tax payer? Aside from the ethical issue of divorcing a person you promised to love in sickness not just in health there is a serious problem with expecting tax payers to take on the burden.
Wabbit, you are an idiot. First of all, Robertson did not say divorce your spouse for financial reasons. He said divorce your spouse because he/she is already dead with the disease. In other words, what he's saying is the heck with your sick partner, go out and have a great time, but just be sure to divorce them first so that you won't look like a cheating jack-a$$. You obviously did not read the article or you're just trying to defend Robertson's stupidity. Really??? Pass your financial burden onto the tax payers??? You don't think we have enough of our own problems already? You are the most unethical person I've ever heard of.
Oh,
So that's how to get around the Medicaid laws and lookback period, if I'm not mistaken?
Pat, Pat, Pat!!!!! I really don't know how to comment on someone who claims to be a christian making a statement like this. The boy may just be ready for another run at the presidency!!
He is not a Christian, he only plays one on TV
Robertson has long been an embarrassment to caring Christians.
hasn't everyone had just about enough of this hill-jack by now?
Pat Robertson is a profoundly crass individual. That's the most polite comment he deserves.
I can't pull a feeding tube out of someone in a vegetative state because "life is sacred" but I can divorce my spouse because "they are already dead" with Alzheimer's? Wow, the hypocrisy is huge.
Jesus Christ, Pat! Why don't we just make Soylent Green out of Alzheimer's patients?!
Don't worry. Sooner or later under Obama care, a bureacrat will decide that an Alzheimer's diagnose means no further medical care because of the cost. After all, isn't it better to not treat high maintenance people WITH LIMITED QUALITY OF REAL LIFE, and focus on the living?
Jsut a thought about the future.
Lex, I don't understand your comment. The article is about Pat Robertson, a man you probably hold dear to your heart because he mentions the word 'God' in every other sentence. It was Pat Robertson who advised a man whose wife has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's to divorce her because she is of no use to him and remarry someone else. What does that have to do with Obama?
Pat Robertson has lot it. He should no longer be a spokesman for Christians of any ilk. His advice is way, way, way off base. He is an embarassment to the Scriptures.
Just when you think you have read it all, here comes this "MAN OF GOD" telling a "man" to divorce his wife because of Altizmers?
That is just a sickness, whether mental, physical, or whatever. This man is one piece of stupidity and if he gets this awful disease, should be pray for him? Or help him divorce his wife. This is sick and shows what is in the pulpits now and begging money and has no idea what Christianity is. Just a money-hugging, aldulterous, lying, laughing-in-your-face-over-the-program-ends IDIOT! That is what Pat Robertson.
Lula.....Pat Robertson did NOT say for a man to leave his wife because of Alzheimers. You are commenting on what is being said and what you have heard. Pat Robertson told this man to divorce her because he is already seeing another woman. Watch the orginal uncut program before passing judgement.
Suzette:
If Pat speaks as a Christian, he should have told him to stop seeing the other woman!
Pat Robertson is what you get when you think of religious hypocrites.
A religious leader making a stupid statement. Who would have thought that would be possible.
Indeed, what ever happened to "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health..."? Seems like Pat never heard of sacrificial love.
My stepfather left my mother after realizing she has FTD a type of dementia. He was married to her for 27 years and has 3 children with her. He picked up his stuff moved out and said good luck to me. The oldest daughter in the family, to raise the family by myself. It's in "sickness & in health" for a reason. All I have to say is I hope he doesnt get sick and need someone to come look after him because no one will be there after what he has done to my family. Disgusting Selfish Pig.
He has no idea that hell awaits his wicked as$.
He needs to go on a hunting trip and be on the receiving end of a hunting accident. We need to also perform a retroactive abortion if he's spawned.
Robertson should BUTT OUT !!!!!!!!!!!!! He is yesterday's news. The kook said he has talked to God. Give us a break !! Puh Lees !!!!!
Wow more hypocrisy from the king of all hypocrites what a surprise. Seriously is anyone surprised? No? Okay. great. I'm going to go back to pretending I live in a world where people like Pat Robertson don't exist now.
The caller stated that the husband was having an affair. Pat Robertson is only stating that since the husband is cheating on his wife, that he may as well divorce her. Yes, the vows say until death do us part, but the husband has already parted. Noone is condeming the husband in all of this.
Like we need advice from Pat Robertson to help us make profound life decisions! This guy is so far off his rocker, he may have dementia and not even realize it. Why does CNN and everyone pay any attention, can't we just leave crazies like him alone. We should pray for him.
unless i missed something..
although i seriously do not agree with him
the guy asking the question was already having relations with another woman
and was asking what he should do..