 |
|
|
|
August 18th, 2011
01:21 PM ET
Is charity sex better than no sex?Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him at his website, GoodInBed.
You may be bristling at the phrase “charity sex.” If you’re a woman, perhaps it brings to mind past, award-worthy, faked orgasms. Or maybe it reminds you of that time you bit your tongue and had sex because you were sick of hearing him ask for it. If you’re a guy, you might be thinking, “better than nothing.” But don’t equate charity sex with pity sex. Rather, see charity sex as a means of reestablishing a connection with your partner, and of making an important investment in your relationship. Think of it as a donation, rather than an assessment. As blogger Heidi Raykeil has written, “The other night I was enjoying some “me” time, curled up on the couch watching the latest episode of "Grey’s Anatomy." Meanwhile, my husband was tossing and turning in bed, stressed out over his latest work project. Frankly, between McDreamy and McSteamy, I was already pretty satisfied. But if I know one thing about my husband, it’s that sex helps him sleep. So I put down the remote and headed upstairs to take one for the team. That’s right: I had charity sex. And you know what? It was actually pretty hot.” Pity sex is about checking sex off your to-do list. Charity sex is about checking in with each other. It’s not about meeting someone else’s physical needs—it’s about meeting your relationship’s emotional ones. It’s about opening up, quite literally, to each other. Why might you engage in charity sex? You might do it because your partner is all wound up from work, and sex relaxes him or her. You might do it because she’s feeling a little down, and sex gives her a boost. Or maybe you do it because —- like some 41 million Americans - you’ve both gone too many days, weeks, or even months without sex. It’s easy for sex to fall to the bottom of your to-do list when you have so many other things on your mind. The bills? The housework? The kids? The latest episode of "Breaking Bad"? Who has time for sex!? Unfortunately, the less often you have sex, the harder it is to get back into the groove. Testosterone levels drop and, as a result, libido levels drop, too. Before you know it, you’re experiencing the longest dry spell of your life. Charity? You feel you don’t have enough to give! Fortunately, if you dig deep, you can still do your relationship some good. How? Fake it ’til you make it. No. I’m not advocating fake orgasms. But there’s definitely something to be said for putting in a little effort. With charity sex, you may not initially feel as if you’re in the mood, but if you start going through the motions, your desire will likely catch up. As Emily Nagoski has written in the "Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms," “Putting your body through the moves of faking one could actually lead to having one.” So start slowly, with intimate touching. Allow yourself to enjoy some pleasurable sensations. Try not to think about anything —- your to-do list; that meeting tomorrow morning -— but how it feels when the two of you touch. Before you know it, that offering of charity sex will start to feel like a gift to both of you. Take away the pressure. When you’re not in the mood for sex, an orgasm may seem out of the question. And you may ask yourself: Why even have sex if I’m not getting the big payoff? But there’s a lot to be said about the stuff that happens before the orgasm. So don’t fixate too much on the end result. Rather, enjoy those moan-inducing caresses and toe-curling nibbles as they’re happening. Remain in the moment. You never know. Your body may surprise you. Remember how good it was. Remember all the reasons you’re together. Remember what things were like when they were still new and undeniably hot. And then think of how much things have changed. How can you give back to that relationship? What are you willing to do to revitalize it? Is charity sex better than no sex? And can it be a good thing for your relationship? You tell me.
Next entry »The vaccines your college freshman needs
« Previous entryTri Challenge: Life as a triathlete
|
  About this blog
Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love.
 |
|
|
|
Is pushing yourself when you’re not in the mood an investment in your relationship?
letter writing essay organizing a research paper essay help writing
assignments for sale pay to write a paper help in assignment writing
research paper 4th grade write a literature review suny college essay
essay writing experts literature writers college transfer essays
slideshare powerpoint presentation do my statistics homework for me writing essays for fun
cheap real viagra viagra 50mg viagragold
Just want to say your article is as astounding. The clarity in your post is just cool and i could assume you're an expert on this subject. Fine with your permission let me to grab your feed to keep updated with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please carry on the gratifying work.
https://BobJohnsonblog398.com/
Best view i have ever seen !
https://free-play88.com
cialis 36 hour dosage buy cialis pils on uk cialis c800
what\'s better viagra cialis levitra cialis 5mg no prescription originial cialis
order generic cialis online 20 mg 20 pills cialis dapoxetine overnight shipment buy cialis online in new zealand
next day generic viagra priligy viagra pfizer viagra 100
viagra online pay with paypal viagra, no prescription viagra cialis sample pack
detectives privados coin
https://www.argadetectives.com/detectives-las-palmas.html
Want to write more concerning this topic? I get the feeling you might be downplaying some of your unpopular lines of thinking, but I would certainly like reading them!
http://fzpedia.org/User:GDKHanna993
cialis low price discount cialis online uninsured cost of cialis
lowest price viagra no prescription viagra sales online australia buy generic viagra online overnight
Can you post more along these lines? It's proven extremely helpful to people.
https://accountancy.global/groups/the-8-best-face-masks-for-pores/
buying viagra cheap generic viagra canada pharamcy viagra samples paypal
order viagra no prescription viagra pill identification 24 hour viagra delivery
book online viagra to buy viagra viagra 100mg tablets
Interesting blog post and very good website design, just bookmarked you. Thanks for sharing!
http://6dollarmillion.xyz
Earn 100 commissions of up to 900+ dollars DAILY. 90 Second Set Up – Beta Tested Proven 24-7 AUTOPILOT Income – Live The Internet Lifestyle. More details: https://bit.ly/2YfQFcC
https://bit.ly/2YfQFcC
Another day another awesomely written article, thank you for putting in the time!
http://www.webmaster.m106.com
If you would like to improve your experience simply keep visiting this site and be updated with the most up-to-date gossip posted here.
http://bit.ly/3hFz4mB
Thanks so much the information. I love sucking dick btw hmu
https://chrok1.blogspot.com/2021/01/5.html
I think that is an motivating point, it made me think a bit. Thank you for sparking my thinking cap. Sometimes I get so much in a rut that I just sense like a record.
http://www.webmaster.m106.com
Thanks so much the information. I love sucking dick btw hmu
https://chrok1.blogspot.com
I get the feeling that you could be hyper redundant with your opinion just to rebel.
https://telegra.ph/Medical-Nanosilver-Face-Masks-12-12
rx plus pharmacy uk pharmacy pharmacy prices
drugstore cowboy best canadian pharmacy nearest drugstore
online pharmacy without scripts canada online pharmacy canada drugs online
best ed medication mexican pharmacy erectile dysfunction pills
pharmacy in canada http://pharmacy-onlineasxs.com/ my canadian pharmacy
There are a handful of intriguing points over time in this article but I do not determine if they all center to heart. You can find some validity but I’m going to take hold opinion until I take a look at it further. Excellent post , thanks and we want much more! Put into FeedBurner too
http://yourmatrixcashmachine.com
best drugstore shampoo ed meds canadian pharmacy viagra
Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you writing this post and the rest of the site is very good.
http://www.X7wFVYZgcs.com/X7wFVYZgcs
Nice post – we need to see more like this, because most info for this topic is done-to-death. You give real value to your readers.
http://inga-mywebsit.ru/user/LindsayXyi/
viagra no prescription viagra,inexpensive,no prescription jpg viagra prescription viagra online viagra 2 day delivery viagra online authentic viagra buy viagra super force viagra with dapoxetine buy viagra in canada viagra online canada paypal viagra overdose symptoms viagra spanish viagra brisbane viagra or cialis
cheap viagra on sale viagra singapore buy viagra without precription canada viagra usa viagra overnight viagra australia super viagra online viagra free trial viagra viagra 25mg no prescription viagra super active canada viagra online over nigth shiping about generic viagra buy viagra online viagra loest prise
Dead indited content , thankyou for entropy.
https://www.electricpercolatorcoffeepot.com/10-top-coffee-bloggers/
https://www.electricpercolatorcoffeepot.com/10-top-coffee-bloggers/
What's up?
I found this article very interesting...please read!
Do you remember the blockbuster hit film The Matrix that was released in 1999? You may not know this, but it has deep spiritual implications concerning the times we are living in and Bible prophecy.
It tells a story of how these "agents" are trying to turn us into machines. We are closer then ever before for this to become a reality when they cause us to receive an implantable microchip in our body during a time when physical money will be no more.
You may have seen on NBC news concerning the implantable RFID microchip that some people are getting put in their hand to make purchases, but did you know this microchip matches perfectly with prophecy in the Bible?
"He (the false prophet who deceives many by his miracles) causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads, and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name...
You also may have heard of the legendary number "666" that people have been speculating for possibly thousands of years on what it actually means. This article shares something I haven't seen before, and I don't think there could be any better explanation for what it means to calculate 666. This is no hoax. Very fascinating stuff!
...Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man: His number is 666" (Revelation 13:16-18 NKJV).
To see all the details showing why the Bible foretold of all these things, check out this article!
Article: https://biblewoke.com/rfid-mark-of-the-beast-666-revealed
GOD is sending out His end time warning:
"Then a third angel followed them, saying with a loud voice, 'If anyone worships the beast and his image, and receives his mark on his forehead or on his hand, he himself shall also drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out full strength into the cup of His indignation. He shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels and in the presence of the Lamb. And the smoke of their torment ascends forever and ever; and they have no rest day or night, who worship the beast and his image, and whoever receives the mark of his name'" (Revelation 14:9-11).
In the Islamic religion they have man called the Mahdi who is known as their messiah of whom they are waiting to take the stage. There are many testimonies from people online who believe this man will be Barack Obama who is to be the biblical Antichrist based off dreams they have received. I myself have had strange dreams about him like no other person. So much so that I decided to share this information.
He came on stage claiming to be a Christian with no affiliation to the Muslim faith...
"In our lives, Michelle and I have been strengthened by our Christian faith. But there have been times where my faith has been questioned - by people who don't know me - or they've said that I adhere to a different religion, as if that were somehow a bad thing," – Barack Obama
...but was later revealed by his own family members that he indeed is a devout Muslim.
So what's in the name? The meaning of someones name can say a lot about a person. God throughout history has given names to people that have a specific meaning tied to their lives. How about the name Barack Obama? Let us take a look at what may be hiding beneath the surface...
"And He (Jesus) said to them (His disciples), 'I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven'" (Luke 10:18).
In the Hebrew language we can uncover the meaning behind the name Barack Obama.
Barack, also transliterated as Baraq, in Hebrew is: lightning
baraq – Biblical definition:
From Strongs H1299; lightning; by analogy a gleam; concretely a flashing sword: – bright, glitter (-ing, sword), lightning. (Strongs Hebrew word H1300 baraq baw-rawk')
Barak 'O'bamah, The use of bamah is used to refer to the "heights" of Heaven.
bamah – Biblical definition:
From an unused root (meaning to be high); an elevation: – height, high place, wave. (Strongs Hebrew word H1116 bamah baw-maw')
The day following the election of Barack Obama (11/04/08), the winning pick 3 lotto numbers in Illinois (Obama's home state) for 11/5/08 were 666.
Obama was a U.S. senator for Illinois, and his zip code was 60606.
Seek Jesus while He may be found...repent, confess and forsake your sins and trust in the savior! Jesus says we must be born again by His Holy Spirit to enter the kingdom of God...God bless!
https://biblewoke.com
What's up?
I found this article very interesting...please read!
Do you remember the blockbuster hit film The Matrix that was released in 1999? You may not know this, but it has deep spiritual implications concerning the times we are living in and Bible prophecy.
It tells a story of how these "agents" are trying to turn us into machines. We are closer then ever before for this to become a reality when they cause us to receive an implantable microchip in our body during a time when physical money will be no more.
You may have seen on NBC news concerning the implantable RFID microchip that some people are getting put in their hand to make purchases, but did you know this microchip matches perfectly with prophecy in the Bible?
"He (the false prophet who deceives many by his miracles) causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads, and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name...
You also may have heard of the legendary number "666" that people have been speculating for possibly thousands of years on what it actually means. This article shares something I haven't seen before, and I don't think there could be any better explanation for what it means to calculate 666. This is no hoax. Very fascinating stuff!
...Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man: His number is 666" (Revelation 13:16-18 NKJV).
To see all the details showing why the Bible foretold of all these things, check out this article!
Article: https://biblewoke.com/rfid-mark-of-the-beast-666-revealed
GOD is sending out His end time warning:
"Then a third angel followed them, saying with a loud voice, 'If anyone worships the beast and his image, and receives his mark on his forehead or on his hand, he himself shall also drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out full strength into the cup of His indignation. He shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels and in the presence of the Lamb. And the smoke of their torment ascends forever and ever; and they have no rest day or night, who worship the beast and his image, and whoever receives the mark of his name'" (Revelation 14:9-11).
In the Islamic religion they have man called the Mahdi who is known as their messiah of whom they are waiting to take the stage. There are many testimonies from people online who believe this man will be Barack Obama who is to be the biblical Antichrist based off dreams they have received. I myself have had strange dreams about him like no other person. So much so that I decided to share this information.
He came on stage claiming to be a Christian with no affiliation to the Muslim faith...
"In our lives, Michelle and I have been strengthened by our Christian faith. But there have been times where my faith has been questioned - by people who don't know me - or they've said that I adhere to a different religion, as if that were somehow a bad thing," – Barack Obama
...but was later revealed by his own family members that he indeed is a devout Muslim.
So what's in the name? The meaning of someones name can say a lot about a person. God throughout history has given names to people that have a specific meaning tied to their lives. How about the name Barack Obama? Let us take a look at what may be hiding beneath the surface...
"And He (Jesus) said to them (His disciples), 'I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven'" (Luke 10:18).
In the Hebrew language we can uncover the meaning behind the name Barack Obama.
Barack, also transliterated as Baraq, in Hebrew is: lightning
baraq – Biblical definition:
From Strongs H1299; lightning; by analogy a gleam; concretely a flashing sword: – bright, glitter (-ing, sword), lightning. (Strongs Hebrew word H1300 baraq baw-rawk')
Barak 'O'bamah, The use of bamah is used to refer to the "heights" of Heaven.
bamah – Biblical definition:
From an unused root (meaning to be high); an elevation: – height, high place, wave. (Strongs Hebrew word H1116 bamah baw-maw')
The day following the election of Barack Obama (11/04/08), the winning pick 3 lotto numbers in Illinois (Obama's home state) for 11/5/08 were 666.
Obama was a U.S. senator for Illinois, and his zip code was 60606.
Seek Jesus while He may be found...repent, confess and forsake your sins and trust in the savior! Jesus says we must be born again by His Holy Spirit to enter the kingdom of God...God bless!
https://biblewoke.com
https://www.electricpercolatorcoffeepot.com/10-top-coffee-bloggers/
buy viagra australia purchasing viagra online for cheap viagra paypal to australia viagra order viagra overnight can you buy viagra in mexico without perscription viagracialisevit viagra generic wholesale viagra for sale in liverpool how much does viagra cost? free viagra online in canada buy viagra without pre viagra manufacturers in india generic viagra from india best online viagra source
For most recent information you have to go to see internet and on the web I found this site as a best web page for most up-to-date updates.
https://m.chork.net/watch?vid=b93a53d08
viagra best prices buy viagra online viagracialisevit http://llviabest.com/ – online viagra 100mg professional ’
cialis none prescription cialis cheapest prices purchase cheap cialis soft tabs http://21cialismen.com/ – cialis tadalafil. au ’
cialis in us orignal cialis brand cialis no prescription http://cialijomen.com/ – cialis no prerscription ’