 |
|
|
|
July 28th, 2011
07:09 AM ET
Is casual sex worth it?Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him at his website, GoodInBed.
In both "Friends With Benefits" (currently playing) and the previously released "No Strings Attached," casual sex is anything but casual. It’s carefully weighed, hotly debated, methodically scrutinized and, of course, comically miscalculated. As in most romantic comedies, the casual sex turns out to be quite committed and just a part of falling in love and living happily ever after. In the movies, blind lust and romantic love often intersect seamlessly, but in reality, casual sex is often an emotional dead-end rather than an on-ramp to relationship bliss. Anthropologist Helen Fisher describes love as a three-phase system: 1) Lust, in which we can attach to anyone. 2) Attraction, in which lust finds its focus and blossoms into romantic love. 3) Attachment, in which romantic love matures into a long-term relationship. Casual sex is often an expression of Phase 1 (lust at its most unfocused), but, unfortunately, many people go into it with the false hope that it will lead to romantic love. And that’s where life does not imitate the movies. That’s not to say that casual sex is a bad thing. It can be loads of fun, as well as a way of trying out new things and practicing your sex skills for that future special person. But casual sex isn’t always so simple. As my colleague Emily Nagoski, author of the Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms, writes, “Especially when it comes to having sex with someone for the first time, the question of what it is you actually want when you want sex is very complicated indeed. Because what do you want, when you want sex? Do you want to get laid? Do you want a relationship? Do you want love? Do you want revenge? Do you want to rebel? Do you want to get pregnant? ... Then there’s the question of whether or not (and what kind of) sex will get you what you want. Sex will get you laid. Whether or not it gets you a relationship or love or revenge or rebellion or a baby is less certain, and so the decision becomes complicated.” Casual sex has its risks and rewards, although the movies tend to focus more on the risk of falling in love than, say, the very real consequence of contracting a sexually transmitted infection. As the authors of "Sex in America" write of their interviews with more than 3,000 people, “Although we find that large numbers of Americans have had a sexually transmitted disease at least once in their lives, there is nothing random about where the diseases strike … the people who are most likely to be infected share one key characteristic: They have many sex partners.” As it turns out, if a man has two to four sexual partners in his lifetime, his chances of ever having contracted a sexually transmitted infection are about 3%. As the number of partners increases, so does the risk. With more than 20 partners, his risk is about 28%, almost a 1,000% increase. The same rough pattern is true of women, with the spectrum of percentages increasing from 5% to 35%. It should therefore come as no surprise that the more partners a person has had, the more likely it is that he or she has engaged with those partners outside of a monogamous relationship, and that his or her partner falls into a similar pattern of casual sex, thereby greatly increasing the risk of having come into contact with a sexually transmitted infection. Casual sex could trigger a domino effect of risky behaviors. “The more partners an individual has,” according to "Sex in America," “the more likely he or she is to have sex with people who themselves have many partners, the more likely he or she is to have sex with virtual strangers, the more likely she or he is to have been under the influence of drugs or alcohol during some sexual encounters, and while it is more likely that a condom was used, the rate of increased use of a condom does not seem great enough to offset the higher risks of infection.” I’m not trying to scare anyone out of casual sex. As Dr. Alex Comfort had to say in his book "The Joy of Sex," “There is no occasion for panic, or for losing out on the joy of sex - simply informed caution.” So is casual sex worth it? You tell me. Like the recent spate of movies, does it ever have a happy ending? soundoff (1,574 Responses)« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 Next »Leave a Reply to EncoxAni
Next entry »Diana Nyad: Sharks need our help
« Previous entryMore muddy water on cell phone use, kids' brain cancer risk
|
  About this blog
Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love.
 |
|
|
|
To do it, or not to do it: That is the question of casual sex - at least as depicted on film.
when is generic cialis available viagra vs cialis cost how much does cialis for daily use cost
I like it whenever people come together and share ideas. Great website, stick with it!
http://multiplexcinemas.biz/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=postfallswebsites.com
clomid online pharmacy xanax online pharmacy alliance rx pharmacy
compounding pharmacy canada best online pharmacy cialis costco online pharmacy
https://miloi82x3.blogozz.com/3859575/the-fact-about-mechanic-that-no-one-is-suggesting
Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you writing this article and the rest of the site is also really good.
I truly love your site.. Pleasant colors & theme. Did you create this site yourself? Please reply back as Iím looking to create my very own website and would like to know where you got this from or just what the theme is called. Cheers!
https://www.bing.com/news/apiclick.aspx?ref=FexRss&aid=&url=https://remingtonq92u0.dreamyblogs.com/4634593/top-latest-five-jet-ski-rental-las-vegas-nv-urban-news
http://irankhodro.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=hiddenapples.com/
http://claytonb47g5.fireblogz.com/31094050/5-tips-about-optometrist-you-can-use-today
Anafranil canadian drugstore reviews online pharmacy ratings
discount super active cialis cialis paypal pay with cialis professional vs cialis super active
I like what you guys tend to be up too. This type
of clever work and coverage! Keep up the fantastic works guys I've you guys
to blogroll.
Wonderful article! We will be linking to this great post on our site. Keep up the great writing.
http://www.bshare.cn/share?url=https://johnnyp92u1.izrablog.com/2501495/time-for-kitchen-reworking-5-indicators-that-teach-you-it-is-time-to-remodel
https://bitly.com/a/warning?hash=3nUs1YL&url=https://martinx63m2.articlesblogger.com/23931952/mechanic-secrets
Howdy, I think your website may be having web browser compatibility issues. Whenever I look at your web site in Safari, it looks fine however, if opening in IE, it has some overlapping issues. I merely wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other than that, great website!
Hi, I do think this is a great site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I'm going to return yet again since I saved as a favorite it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich and continue to help other people.
https://www.l214.com/lettres-infos/partage/?nom=7ème+jour:+les+poulets+de+chair&url=http://www.article.rabia.co.in/112707/how-to-do-research-study-as-well-locate-the-most-effective-on-site-rv-repair-near-me
https://simonz36e5.ltfblog.com/4065868/examine-this-report-on-best-roofing-company-near-me
I used to be able to find good information from your blog articles.
https://andersone71x3.idblogmaker.com/4038732/sprinter-repair-no-further-a-mystery
http://www.bshare.cn/share?url=https://dantex61y4.atualblog.com/5587811/lawyers-near-me-things-to-know-before-you-buy
https://www.wrasb.gov.tw/opennews/opennews01_detail.aspx?nno=2014062701&return=https://www.jenangfoods.blogspot.com/2021/02/flooring-repair-specialist-near-me.html
An interesting discussion is worth comment. I believe that you need to publish more about this topic, it might not be a taboo matter but usually folks don't discuss such topics. To the next! Cheers!!
Thẳng đá Bóng Ngày Hôm Nay, Link Xem Trực Tuyến đoạn Phim Tình HuốngxemvnTrên băng ghế huấn luyện, Lebanon đã xẻ nhiệm Ramiro Lopez cơ hội đây 3 tuần. Nhà cầm cố quân người Tây Ban Nha chủ yếu đuối làm việc trên Ý và từng có thời gian làm việc tại Kuwait.|Và NHM bóng đá Việt Nam đang hóng Minh Trí cùng đồng đội hóa giải đối thủ để tạo lợi thế cho trận lượt về tại đây hai ngày. Chelsea đã nên trải qua 8 phút bù giờ nghẹt thở đảm bảo chiến thắng.
https://bongdatv.vn/detail/bong-da-luu-truc-tiep-tren-may-tinh-130019.html
Hi, I do believe this is a great web site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I may come back once again since I saved as a favorite it. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to help other people.
http://hectors13x2.educationalimpactblog.com/24249075/worth-of-appointed-date-successful-day-in-restructuring
Xem Thẳng đá Bóngtruc tuyen vtv3Theo thể thức thi đấu, đội thắng ở cặp đấu này sẽ giành tấm vé đến Lithuania vào ngày hội bóng đá lớn nhất thế giới đến futsal. Tuyển futsal Việt Nam bước vào trận play-off lượt đi tranh vé dự play-off World Cup 2021 với sự tự tin. Tuy vậy, HLV Phạm Minh Giang bày tỏ, toàn đội không ngán Lebanon tuy nhiên sẽ tìm cách để khắc chế sức mạnh của đối thủ bởi trên băng ghế huấn luyện là nhà cầm quân Ramiro Lopez, người từng dẫn dắt futsal Tây Ban Nha.|Dựa vào lịch tranh tài, bạn hoàn toàn có thể sắp xếp việc làm
https://arubaeducation.info/detail/truc-tiep-dai-today-54410.html
https://www.wrasb.gov.tw/opennews/opennews01_detail.aspx?nno=2014062701&return=https://fastlinkdirectory.com/listing/rv-repair-near-me-3590
I used to be able to find good info from your blog posts.
https://ditu.google.cn/url?q=http://dallaso04b5.blogvivi.com/5719613/worth-of-appointed-date-productive-date-in-restructuring
There is definately a lot to know about this subject. I like all of the points you have made.
https://creativecommons.org/choose/results-one?field_attribute_to_url=https://stephens52m2.blogars.com/4361632/relevance-of-appointed-date-productive-date-in-restructuring
I'm extremely pleased to find this great site. I wanted to thank you for ones time just for this fantastic read!! I definitely liked every little bit of it and i also have you book marked to look at new information on your blog.
http://7ba.info/out.php?url=https://www.groupfrog.com/search/rv-storage-near-me
Coi Thẳng đá Bóngkq c2 châu âuTheo thể thức thi đấu, đội thắng ở cặp đấu này sẽ giành tấm vé đến Lithuania vào ngày hội bóng đá lớn nhất thế giới đến futsal. Tuyển futsal Việt Nam bước vào trận play-off lượt đi tranh vé dự play-off World Cup 2021 với sự tự tin. Tuy vậy, HLV Phạm Minh Giang bày tỏ, toàn đội không ngán Lebanon tuy nhiên sẽ tìm cách để khắc chế sức mạnh của đối thủ bởi trên băng ghế huấn luyện là nhà cầm quân Ramiro Lopez, người từng dẫn dắt futsal Tây Ban Nha.|Dựa vào lịch thi đấu, quý khách hoàn toàn có thể sắp xếp việc làm
https://equinome.com/detail/dantri-24h-7-101360.html
The very next time I read a blog, Hopefully it won't fail me as much as this one. I mean, Yes, it was my choice to read, but I genuinely thought you would have something helpful to talk about. All I hear is a bunch of crying about something you could fix if you were not too busy seeking attention.
https://tieba.baidu.com/mo/q/checkurl?url=https://beckettd07y6.blogacep.com/5552819/worth-of-appointed-date-successful-day-in-restructuring
http://waylono92s0.jaiblogs.com/26546157/rv-body-shop-an-overview
https://tieba.baidu.com/mo/q/checkurl?url=https://sergioa50v2.blogofchange.com/5183485/5-essential-elements-for-smoke-shop
Great information. Lucky me I discovered your website by chance (stumbleupon). I've book-marked it for later!
cvs
Kênh Thẳng đá Bóng Ngày Hôm Naythethao 24hTrên băng ghế giảng dạy, Lebanon đã bổ nhiệm Ramiro Lopez cách đây 3 tuần. Nhà cầm cố quân người Tây Ban Nha nhà yếu đuối làm việc trên Ý và từng có thời gian thực hiện việc tại Kuwait.|Và NHM bóng đá Việt Nam đang được chờ Minh Trí cùng đồng đội hóa giải đối thủ để tạo lợi thế đến trận lượt về sau đây hai ngày. Chelsea đã nên trải qua 8 phút bù giờ khó thở bảo vệ chiến thắng.
https://bongdatv.vn/detail/kqbd-tbn-b-13287.html
Kênh Trực Tiếp Soccer Thời Điểm Hôm Nayvtv3 hdTrên băng ghế đào tạo, Lebanon đã bổ nhiệm Ramiro Lopez cơ hội đây 3 tuần. Nhà nắm quân người Tây Ban Nha công ty yếu ớt làm việc trên Ý và từng có thời gian làm việc tại Kuwait.|Và NHM bóng đá Việt Nam đang hóng Minh Trí cùng đồng đội hóa giải đối thủ để tạo lợi thế đến trận lượt về sau đây hai ngày. Chelsea đã phải trải qua 8 phút bù giờ nghẹt thở đảm bảo chiến thắng.
https://sepiswestwood.com/detail/xem-bdtv-hd-35456.html
This is the perfect website for anyone who wishes to understand this topic. You know so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I really would want toÖHaHa). You certainly put a new spin on a topic that's been discussed for years. Wonderful stuff, just excellent!
http://blog-parts.wmag.net/okitegami/redirect.php?u=https://ocrvcenter.org/
I have to thank you for the efforts you have put in penning this website. I really hope to check out the same high-grade blog posts from you later on as well. In truth, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my own site now 😉
http://teatech-inc.net/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=ocrvpaintandservice.com/
http://drtuckereyemd.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=sprintervanrepairshop.com
https://cs.eservicecorp.ca/eService/sr/Login.jsp?fromSearchTool=true&fromSearchToolProduct=toHomePage&fromSearchToolURL=http://fleetautorepairshop.com/
You could definitely see your enthusiasm in the work you write.
The sector hopes for more passionate writers like you who aren't
afraid to say how they believe. All the time go after your heart.
http://iowaselect.net/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=campervanrepairshop.com
Itís difficult to find well-informed people about this topic, but you seem like you know what youíre talking about! Thanks
http://needloan.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=oc-rv.com
http://www.saco.se/EPiServerMail/Public/CheckLink.aspx?url=http://www.ocrv.xyz/
Itís hard to find educated people on this topic, however, you seem like you know what youíre talking about! Thanks
http://www.paulpattak.net/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=ocrvpaintandservice.com/
You have made some good points there. I checked on the internet to find out more about the issue and found most people will go along with your views on this web site.
http://webservices.icodes-us.com/transfer2.php?location=https://sprintervanrepair.com/
http://pinggu.zx110.org/review_url_campervanrepairshop.com
Oh my goodness! Impressive article dude! Many thanks, However I am having problems with your RSS. I donít know why I cannot join it. Is there anyone else having identical RSS problems? Anyone who knows the answer can you kindly respond? Thanx!!
http://noradtrackssanta.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=boxtruckrepairshop.com
walgreens pharmacy technician application online Flexeril buying prescription drugs online from canada
Incredible points. Outstanding arguments. Keep up the good spirit.
http://gorodd-kirov.ru/go.php?url=http3A2F2Fbestservicenearme.com