 |
|
|
|
July 28th, 2011
07:09 AM ET
Is casual sex worth it?Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him at his website, GoodInBed.
In both "Friends With Benefits" (currently playing) and the previously released "No Strings Attached," casual sex is anything but casual. It’s carefully weighed, hotly debated, methodically scrutinized and, of course, comically miscalculated. As in most romantic comedies, the casual sex turns out to be quite committed and just a part of falling in love and living happily ever after. In the movies, blind lust and romantic love often intersect seamlessly, but in reality, casual sex is often an emotional dead-end rather than an on-ramp to relationship bliss. Anthropologist Helen Fisher describes love as a three-phase system: 1) Lust, in which we can attach to anyone. 2) Attraction, in which lust finds its focus and blossoms into romantic love. 3) Attachment, in which romantic love matures into a long-term relationship. Casual sex is often an expression of Phase 1 (lust at its most unfocused), but, unfortunately, many people go into it with the false hope that it will lead to romantic love. And that’s where life does not imitate the movies. That’s not to say that casual sex is a bad thing. It can be loads of fun, as well as a way of trying out new things and practicing your sex skills for that future special person. But casual sex isn’t always so simple. As my colleague Emily Nagoski, author of the Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms, writes, “Especially when it comes to having sex with someone for the first time, the question of what it is you actually want when you want sex is very complicated indeed. Because what do you want, when you want sex? Do you want to get laid? Do you want a relationship? Do you want love? Do you want revenge? Do you want to rebel? Do you want to get pregnant? ... Then there’s the question of whether or not (and what kind of) sex will get you what you want. Sex will get you laid. Whether or not it gets you a relationship or love or revenge or rebellion or a baby is less certain, and so the decision becomes complicated.” Casual sex has its risks and rewards, although the movies tend to focus more on the risk of falling in love than, say, the very real consequence of contracting a sexually transmitted infection. As the authors of "Sex in America" write of their interviews with more than 3,000 people, “Although we find that large numbers of Americans have had a sexually transmitted disease at least once in their lives, there is nothing random about where the diseases strike … the people who are most likely to be infected share one key characteristic: They have many sex partners.” As it turns out, if a man has two to four sexual partners in his lifetime, his chances of ever having contracted a sexually transmitted infection are about 3%. As the number of partners increases, so does the risk. With more than 20 partners, his risk is about 28%, almost a 1,000% increase. The same rough pattern is true of women, with the spectrum of percentages increasing from 5% to 35%. It should therefore come as no surprise that the more partners a person has had, the more likely it is that he or she has engaged with those partners outside of a monogamous relationship, and that his or her partner falls into a similar pattern of casual sex, thereby greatly increasing the risk of having come into contact with a sexually transmitted infection. Casual sex could trigger a domino effect of risky behaviors. “The more partners an individual has,” according to "Sex in America," “the more likely he or she is to have sex with people who themselves have many partners, the more likely he or she is to have sex with virtual strangers, the more likely she or he is to have been under the influence of drugs or alcohol during some sexual encounters, and while it is more likely that a condom was used, the rate of increased use of a condom does not seem great enough to offset the higher risks of infection.” I’m not trying to scare anyone out of casual sex. As Dr. Alex Comfort had to say in his book "The Joy of Sex," “There is no occasion for panic, or for losing out on the joy of sex - simply informed caution.” So is casual sex worth it? You tell me. Like the recent spate of movies, does it ever have a happy ending? soundoff (1,574 Responses)« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 Next »Leave a Reply to RV Repair Seal Beach
Next entry »Diana Nyad: Sharks need our help
« Previous entryMore muddy water on cell phone use, kids' brain cancer risk
|
  About this blog
Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love.
 |
|
|
|
To do it, or not to do it: That is the question of casual sex - at least as depicted on film.
Pretty! This was an incredibly wonderful post. Many thanks for supplying these details.
http://mx2.radiant.net/Redirect/bestlocalnearme.com/
https://www.kronenberg.org/download.php?download=https://highrise-agency.com
http://yellowpages.rrstar.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=personaltrainerhub.com/
https://cttadalafil.com/ prescription tadalafil online cialis without prescription cheapest tadalafil cost buy tadalis
http://em.gohawaii.com/mtr40/c2.php?HVCB/26693011/218753/H/N/V/https://ocrvcenter.biz/loadstar-collision-repair-shop-near-me
You're so awesome! I do not think I have read through a single thing like that before. So wonderful to discover somebody with genuine thoughts on this issue. Seriously.. many thanks for starting this up. This site is something that's needed on the web, someone with a little originality!
https://knitty.com/banner.php?id=587&url=https://ocrvshop.com/rv-repair-shop-pacoima-california
cialis online delivery overnight https://ckacialis.com/ – original cialis online how to purchase cialis in canada
tadalafil dosage https://tadagatadalafil.com/ cialis tadalafil side effects for tadalafil canada generic tadalafil
cheap drugs online https://pharmacyken.com/ – first medicine online pharmacy store canada pharmacy online legit
It’s nearly impossible to find well-informed people for this subject, but you seem like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks
http://yellowpages.13abc.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=ocrv.vip/international-truck-collision-repair-shop-near-me
walgreens store locator 24 hour pharmacy restasis canadian pharmacy alpesh pharmacy store charlotte nc
When I originally commented I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on whenever a comment is added I recieve four emails with the same comment. There has to be a means you can remove me from that service? Thanks!
https://www.ielts.org/api/sitecore/RecognisingOrganisations/RegisterGoalAndRedirect?ROId=F1FCFC07-CD4C-451E-9FB1-85D2EDF276BA&link=https://ocrvcenter.net/rv-repair-shop-norwalk-california
http://services.accredia.it/engines/banner2/jump.jsp?idArea=234&idBanner=2&destination=https://ocrv.art/rv-repair-shop-sherman-oaks-california
Everything is very open with a very clear explanation of the issues. It was definitely informative. Your site is extremely helpful. Many thanks for sharing!
https://login-tk.ewe.de/module.php/core/loginuserpass.php?AuthState=_f129e4d348645839698b4d7d776dd3affbd987fedc:https://ocrv.today/motorhome-shades-repair-near-me
https://www.wnypapers.com/ad/out/32100828/d1cfc72c310c99d59b1bf3948739e45f?to=http://spokanevalleymarketing.com/
https://www.winxuan.com/page/cps/eqifacookieinterface.jsp?from=yiqifa&wid=8&url=http://baccarat-online-spieleninmc.blogspot.com/2021/04/wood-cabinet-makers-near-me.html
Wonderful post! We will be linking to this particularly great content on our site. Keep up the good writing.
https://www.hammer.if.tv/cgi/search/rank.cgi?mode=link&id=2613&url=https://sccmhelden.nl/hallo-wereld/
http://navigate.ims.ca/default.aspx?id=1211260&mailingid=37291&redirect=https://home-reform.co.jp/ppBlog/index.php?mode=trackback&UID=1246080253
http://spacioclub.ru/forum_script/url/?go=https://mario9d5u9.like-blogs.com/3491925/rv-repairs-near-me-for-dummies
cvs pharmacy 24 hour store planet drugs direct canada best canadian pharmacy online
Your style is unique in comparison to other folks I have read stuff from. Thanks for posting when you've got the opportunity, Guess I will just book mark this page.
http://eforce.todayir.com/en/fileview.php?file=https://directory6.org/Business/Customer_Service/?p=351
An impressive share! I have just forwarded this onto a colleague who was doing a little research on this. And he actually ordered me breakfast simply because I discovered it for him... lol. So let me reword this.... Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending time to talk about this topic here on your website.
http://dmca.com/Protection/Status.aspx?ID=edc817fd-d796-4c84-abb8-d1cb5b2e3719&refurl=http://www.kak-zayti-na-hydra.ru/привет-мир/
This site truly has all the info I wanted concerning this subject and didn’t know who to ask.
https://www.he-web.com/rank.cgi?mode=link&id=6111&url=https://www.destinationweddings.weddingplanner.com.hr/shop/shop/cello/
http://t.ants.vn/a1/c/?bc=af837a70c7,l1486771201959,1486882192,v,1,568743473,568730659,568732269,31648,1,583125423,583125416,5,0_1&t_s=568743473-583125423-568732269:1&t_z=&t_tp=&t_itr=&t_imk=&t_rm=&c_tp=31647:1&c_itr=-1:-1&c_imk=-1:-1&c_rm=&redirect=http://virginia.lockerroomaccess.com/2020/04/13/trey-murphy-chooses-virginia/
After I originally commented I seem to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on each time a comment is added I recieve four emails with the same comment. There has to be a means you can remove me from that service? Many thanks!
http://atari.org/links/frameit.cgi?ID=238&url=http://commercialvanrepairshop.com
deaths from prescription drugs pharmacy in canada salary overnight canadian pharmacy
https://aii.sh/C2P788Qt
cialis wholesale https://rcialisgl.com/ – viagra vs cialis cost cialis uk supplier
how to get prescription drugs online pharmacy indonesia mexican online pharmacies
https://cloud.squirrly.co/go34692/fleetautorepairshop.com/semi-truck-windshield-replacement-shop-near-me
You've made some decent points there. I checked on the net for more information about the issue and found most people will go along with your views on this web site.
https://www.greatmindsinstem.org/Redirect.aspx?destination=https://www.ocrvfleetservices.com/cable-truck-repair-shop-near-me/
Everything is very open with a really clear explanation of the issues. It was truly informative. Your site is extremely helpful. Thanks for sharing!
http://www.rethink-wireless.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=boxtruckrepairshop.com/box-truck-windshield-replacement-shop-near-me
http://old2.mtp.pl/out/ppcpostfalls.com/
I have to thank you for the efforts you have put in writing this website. I'm hoping to check out the same high-grade content from you later on as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has motivated me to get my own site now 😉
https://api.webconnex.com/v1/postmaster/track/click/4f8036d14ee545798599c8921fbfcd22/db005310dba511e89fb606f49a4ee876?url=https://bestshopnearme.com
is online cialis safe https://krocialis.com/ – whats better viagra or cialis cialis results
cialis viagra gr https://cialisjla.com/ – viagra vs cialis vs levitra reviews cialis canada purchase
Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude! Thanks, However I am going through troubles with your RSS. I don’t understand the reason why I cannot join it. Is there anybody else having the same RSS issues? Anyone who knows the solution can you kindly respond? Thanx!!
https://foaf-visualizer.gnu.org.ua/?url=https://spokanevalleymarketing.com/
You're so interesting! I don't think I've truly read through something like this before. So wonderful to discover someone with unique thoughts on this issue. Really.. thank you for starting this up. This web site is one thing that is needed on the internet, someone with a little originality!
http://www.fotobug.net/home/link.php?url=http://www.juicycalls.com/
Pretty! This was an extremely wonderful post. Thanks for providing these details.
https://ad.sxp.smartclip.net/optout?url=http://sprintervanrepairshop.com/chevrolet-cargo-van-repair-shop-near-me
This is a topic that is close to my heart... Many thanks! Where are your contact details though?
https://www.acuite.fr/journee_evenementielle_redirect?url=http://affordableranking.com/
I need to to thank you for this great read!! I certainly loved every little bit of it. I've got you book-marked to check out new things you post…
https://www.capital.gr/viewswitcher/switchview?mobile=False&returnUrl=https://commercialvanrepairshop.com/sprinter-van-maintenance-shop-near-me/
https://radar.techcabal.com/clicks/track?url=https://www.fleettruckrepairshop.com/rv-upholstery-shop-near-me/
There is certainly a lot to find out about this topic. I love all the points you have made.
http://www.oltv.cz/redirect.php?url=http://www.hiddenapples.com/
http://carlisleoh.lionwap.org/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=www.ocrvpaintandservice.com
Right here is the perfect webpage for anyone who wants to find out about this topic. You know so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I personally would want to…HaHa). You definitely put a brand new spin on a subject that has been discussed for ages. Wonderful stuff, just excellent!
https://doctor-navi.com/cgi/hospital-search-engine2/rank.cgi?mode=link&id=14979&url=https://ocrv.vip/
Hello there! I just want to give you a big thumbs up for your great info you've got here on this post. I'll be coming back to your blog for more soon.
http://find.cambridgesoft.com/help/cs.html?url=https://ocrv.store
Nice post. I learn something totally new and challenging on websites I stumbleupon every day. It will always be interesting to read through content from other writers and use a little something from their websites.
http://emails.erieinsurance.com/ern40/c2.php?ERIN/37662445/139490/H/N/V/http://ocrvexperts.com
http://ladygamer.jp/ws/rank.cgi?mode=link&id=299&url=sprinterrepairnearme.com/
https://img.2chan.net/bin/jump.php?http://ocrv.biz
Howdy! This blog post could not be written much better! Looking through this article reminds me of my previous roommate! He continually kept preaching about this. I'll forward this information to him. Fairly certain he'll have a good read. Thank you for sharing!
https://onionring.jp/rank.cgi?mode=link&id=281&url=https://ppcpostfalls.com/