 |
|
|
|
July 28th, 2011
07:09 AM ET
Is casual sex worth it?Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him at his website, GoodInBed.
In both "Friends With Benefits" (currently playing) and the previously released "No Strings Attached," casual sex is anything but casual. It’s carefully weighed, hotly debated, methodically scrutinized and, of course, comically miscalculated. As in most romantic comedies, the casual sex turns out to be quite committed and just a part of falling in love and living happily ever after. In the movies, blind lust and romantic love often intersect seamlessly, but in reality, casual sex is often an emotional dead-end rather than an on-ramp to relationship bliss. Anthropologist Helen Fisher describes love as a three-phase system: 1) Lust, in which we can attach to anyone. 2) Attraction, in which lust finds its focus and blossoms into romantic love. 3) Attachment, in which romantic love matures into a long-term relationship. Casual sex is often an expression of Phase 1 (lust at its most unfocused), but, unfortunately, many people go into it with the false hope that it will lead to romantic love. And that’s where life does not imitate the movies. That’s not to say that casual sex is a bad thing. It can be loads of fun, as well as a way of trying out new things and practicing your sex skills for that future special person. But casual sex isn’t always so simple. As my colleague Emily Nagoski, author of the Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms, writes, “Especially when it comes to having sex with someone for the first time, the question of what it is you actually want when you want sex is very complicated indeed. Because what do you want, when you want sex? Do you want to get laid? Do you want a relationship? Do you want love? Do you want revenge? Do you want to rebel? Do you want to get pregnant? ... Then there’s the question of whether or not (and what kind of) sex will get you what you want. Sex will get you laid. Whether or not it gets you a relationship or love or revenge or rebellion or a baby is less certain, and so the decision becomes complicated.” Casual sex has its risks and rewards, although the movies tend to focus more on the risk of falling in love than, say, the very real consequence of contracting a sexually transmitted infection. As the authors of "Sex in America" write of their interviews with more than 3,000 people, “Although we find that large numbers of Americans have had a sexually transmitted disease at least once in their lives, there is nothing random about where the diseases strike … the people who are most likely to be infected share one key characteristic: They have many sex partners.” As it turns out, if a man has two to four sexual partners in his lifetime, his chances of ever having contracted a sexually transmitted infection are about 3%. As the number of partners increases, so does the risk. With more than 20 partners, his risk is about 28%, almost a 1,000% increase. The same rough pattern is true of women, with the spectrum of percentages increasing from 5% to 35%. It should therefore come as no surprise that the more partners a person has had, the more likely it is that he or she has engaged with those partners outside of a monogamous relationship, and that his or her partner falls into a similar pattern of casual sex, thereby greatly increasing the risk of having come into contact with a sexually transmitted infection. Casual sex could trigger a domino effect of risky behaviors. “The more partners an individual has,” according to "Sex in America," “the more likely he or she is to have sex with people who themselves have many partners, the more likely he or she is to have sex with virtual strangers, the more likely she or he is to have been under the influence of drugs or alcohol during some sexual encounters, and while it is more likely that a condom was used, the rate of increased use of a condom does not seem great enough to offset the higher risks of infection.” I’m not trying to scare anyone out of casual sex. As Dr. Alex Comfort had to say in his book "The Joy of Sex," “There is no occasion for panic, or for losing out on the joy of sex - simply informed caution.” So is casual sex worth it? You tell me. Like the recent spate of movies, does it ever have a happy ending? soundoff (1,574 Responses)« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 Next »Leave a Reply to RV Roof Orange County
Next entry »Diana Nyad: Sharks need our help
« Previous entryMore muddy water on cell phone use, kids' brain cancer risk
|
  About this blog
Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love.
 |
|
|
|
To do it, or not to do it: That is the question of casual sex - at least as depicted on film.
https://nanostandards.ansi.org/banner_click.php?id=2&url=https://sprintervanrepairshop.com/box-truck-body-shop-near-me
Good day! I could have sworn I’ve been to this website before but after going through a few of the articles I realized it’s new to me. Anyhow, I’m certainly delighted I stumbled upon it and I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back regularly!
https://polo-v1.feathr.co/v1/analytics/crumb?flvr=email_link_click&rdr=https://
You ought to take part in a contest for one of the highest quality blogs on the web. I am going to recommend this site!
https://spacioclub.ru/forum_script/url/?go=https://club-maserati.com
canadapharmacy https://pharmacylo.com/ Atorlip-10
Good post! We are linking to this particularly great post on our site. Keep up the great writing.
https://www.music-style.info/music-style/rank.cgi?mode=link&id=7897&url=https://meganleary.com/
https://affiliation.webmediarm.com/clic.php?idc=3361&idv=4229&type=5&cand=241523&url=https://arizonasvision.com/
Very good post. I'm facing many of these issues as well..
https://www.fms.treas.gov/fmsweb/disclaimer.jsp?ciURL=https://meganleary.com
executive pay essay analytical essay topics for high school best essay writing service in uk places to buy research papers
cialis black 800mg http://ucialisdas.com/ – cialis/dapoxetine with overnight ship viagra and cialis discount
https://kzsoft.to/rank.cgi?mode=link&id=1187&url=https://rvcollisionrepairpaintshop.com
bookmarked!!, I like your web site!
https://www.ycaistock.com/home/link.php?url=https://club-maserati.com
Very good information. Lucky me I found your site by accident (stumbleupon). I've book-marked it for later!
http://www.sns.51.ca/link.php?url=https://arizonasvision.com/
http://www.koromo.co.jp/files/rank.cgi?mode=link&id=1260&url=https://club-maserati.com
canadapharmacy24h canadian pharmaceuticals online Furosemide
buy avanafil avana tabs
https://l-www.sitepal.com/affiliates/entry/?spdirect=1&affId=75895&promotionId=17691&link=https://ocrv.online
I couldn’t resist commenting. Well written!
https://j-friends.jp/cgi/search/rank.cgi?mode=link&id=8555&url=https://ocrvmotorcoachsales.com
Greetings! Very useful advice in this particular article! It is the little changes that make the biggest changes. Many thanks for sharing!
http://jump.fan-site.biz/rank.cgi?mode=link&id=342&url=arizonasvision.com/
https://www.fotobug.net/home/link.php?url=https://www.club-maserati.com/
http://koromo.co.jp/files/rank.cgi?mode=link&id=1260&url=https://www.meganleary.com/
http://local.katc.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=arizonasvision.com/
taking viagra for fun https://jokviagra.com/ can you take cialis in the morning and viagra at night
Very nice post. I certainly love this site. Stick with it!
http://khazin.ru/redirect?url=http://arizonasvision.com
I was able to find good advice from your blog posts.
http://southampton.ac.uk/~drn1e09/foaf/visualizer.php?url=http://meganleary.com
medical mall pharmacy https://xlnpharmacy.com/ my canadian pharmacy rx
http://outlink.webkicks.de/dref.cgi?job=outlink&url=https://fleettruckrepairshop.com
Wonderful post! We are linking to this great content on our website. Keep up the great writing.
https://whois.zunmi.com/?d=nearmyspot.com/.com
https://aikareborn.com/members/misogino.45248
Can I simply just say what a relief to discover somebody who truly knows what they're discussing on the web. You certainly understand how to bring a problem to light and make it important. More people must read this and understand this side of your story. I was surprised that you are not more popular since you definitely have the gift.
https://aikareborn.com/members/relogiocassio7.40590
http://associatedfoods.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=http://affordableranking.com/
homework help irvine st olaf interim essay help order a custom essay pay for someone to do my homework
You've made some good points there. I checked on the internet for additional information about the issue and found most individuals will go along with your views on this website.
https://www.igive.com/isearch/NonStoreExit.cfm?type=1&isid=0df7d37f-4feb-4f0f-b472-1df60f43914d&rurl=http://www.affordableranking.com/
I must thank you for the efforts you've put in writing this website. I really hope to view the same high-grade blog posts from you in the future as well. In truth, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my own website now 😉
https://hockeyballequebec.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=www.affordableranking.com
An outstanding share! I've just forwarded this onto a colleague who has been conducting a little homework on this. And he actually bought me lunch simply because I found it for him... lol. So let me reword this.... Thanks for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending some time to talk about this subject here on your internet site.
http://clevacances032.clevacances.com/stat.php?langue=fr&id_location=HLOMIP032MS00786&agrement=32MS00786&type_location=meuble&id_departement=032&acces_site=1&url=https://affordableranking.com
https://www.bloknot-krasnodar.ru/away.php?from=guide&url=http://affordableranking.com
http://biyougeka.esthetic-esthe.com/rank.cgi?mode=link&id=848&url=http://fleetrepairshops.com/ram-luxury-van-repair-shop-near-me/
Can I just say what a comfort to discover someone that truly understands what they are talking about on the internet. You definitely know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More people must read this and understand this side of the story. I was surprised that you aren't more popular because you certainly possess the gift.
https://www.ref.webhostinghub.com/scripts/click.php?ref_id=nichol54&desturl=https://www.fleetservicesorangecounty.com/services
Hi there! I just want to offer you a big thumbs up for your excellent info you have right here on this post. I will be returning to your web site for more soon.
http://www.domashniyochag.ru/bitrix/rk.php?goto=http://www.club-maserati.com
Your style is unique compared to other people I have read stuff from. Many thanks for posting when you've got the opportunity, Guess I'll just book mark this blog.
https://www.roughtrade.com/gb/country?redirect=http://fleetvehiclerepairshop.com/rv-dent-repair-shop-near-me
I could not refrain from commenting. Well written!
http://www.leisurecentre.com/jobs/home/loadwelsh?url=https://ocrvfleetservices.com/delivery-truck-repair-shop-near-me/
Hello! I could have sworn I’ve been to this web site before but after going through some of the posts I realized it’s new to me. Nonetheless, I’m definitely happy I stumbled upon it and I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back often!
http://newsletter.dlg.hu/statistics/redirect/62/1713?url=http://club-maserati.com
Nice post. I learn something new and challenging on websites I stumbleupon everyday. It's always interesting to read through articles from other authors and use a little something from their websites.
https://www.tapinto.net/newsletters/5bf3cd94a06be2548000001f/register_click?url=https://commercialvanrepairshop.com/camper-van-conversion-shop-near-me
https://www.triathlon.org/?URL=http://fleetservicesorangecounty.com/gmc-high-top-van-repair-shop-near-me
This is a topic which is near to my heart... Thank you! Where are your contact details though?
https://radar.techcabal.com/clicks/track?url=http://sprintervanrepairshop.com/food-truck-repair-shop-near-me
alaska homework help pro essay writer homework help 5th graders query writing service
You should take part in a contest for one of the greatest sites on the internet. I am going to highly recommend this site!
http://cdn.embedded.com/common/jumplink.php?target=http://fleettruckrepairshop.com/high-top-van-repair-shop-near-me
Great article. I'm experiencing many of these issues as well..
http://doctor-navi.com/cgi/hospital-search-engine2/rank.cgi?mode=link&id=14979&url=https://commercialvanrepairshop.com/limo-van-repair-shop-near-me
https://www.swipeclock.com/sc/cookie.asp?sitealias=79419397&redirect=https://fleetservicesocrv.com/construction-truck-repair-shop-near-me/
cuanto cuesta el viagra en lima peru http://llviagra.com/ – grupa viagra.ru viagra patent expires canada
Spot on with this write-up, I honestly believe this site needs a great deal more attention. I’ll probably be back again to read more, thanks for the advice!
http://www.selfphp.de/newsletterausgaben/tran.php?uid=UID-USER.&dest=http://arrowapex.cn/archives/276/comment-page-851