 |
|
|
|
May 19th, 2011
10:56 AM ET
Are you willing to negotiate monogamy?Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him at his website, GoodInBed.
With the demise of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver’s 25-year marriage making headlines, it’s hard not to wonder if long-term monogamy is possible or even practical. As a sex therapist, not a day goes by that I don’t see people who are stuck, feeling as if they have to give up on their marriage, or give up on sex - or cheat. My patients have taught me that sex - or a lack of it - is one of the major contributors to marital strife between longtime couples. Such an approach may seem to fly in the face of the concept of marriage - I don’t blame you for raising your eyebrows or shaking your head at the suggestion. But hear me out. We live in an age when we’re surrounded by countless arguments (or maybe just excuses) against monogamy: Men have a biological imperative to spread their seed and have always cheated (“boys will be boys”); humans are wired for serial monogamy, not one lifelong relationship; long-term relationships beget boredom; people are living longer and longer but half of all marriages fail… Whew. When you consider what we’re up against, it may not be such a bad idea to give negotiated monogamy a chance before we dismiss it outright as a violation of the sanctity of marriage. In my own practice, I often raise the option of negotiated monogamy with couples who have worked their way into permanently sexless marriages, or who feel starved for sex - but not with each other. The very concept of negotiated monogamy is a provocative and useful way for these couples to talk about sex and marriage, even if they choose not to practice it. As with most issues, it’s better to talk about something and understand each other’s boundaries than to guess or cheat or commit to life of silent desperation. And you know what? It turns out that once couples start talking about what they would or wouldn’t allow - strippers, lap dances, flirty friendships, free passes, oral sex with other people, swinging, open relationships - they often tend to get turned on and end up going home and having sex with each other. After all, the brain is the biggest of sex organ and, as I discussed in last week’s column about fantasies, even just talking about sex can get people interested in actually having sex. So remember: Taking a marriage vow does not mean taking a vow of silence. If anything, being married should give you a level of trust where you feel like you can talk about anything. And if you actually want to try negotiated monogamy and your partner doesn’t (or vice versa)? Well, at least you’re having an adult conversation instead of acting like children - or former governors. soundoff (2,204 Responses)« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 Next »Leave a Reply to buy cialis
« Previous entryOn HIV Vaccine Awareness Day, the search continues
|
  About this blog
Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love.
 |
|
|
|
When you take your marriage vows, you’re pretty much making the commitment to never have sex with anyone else ever again. Wow - just writing that is scary.
This text is invaluable. How can I find out more?
evolution peptides tadalafil buy cialis online best research tadalafil
813010 567435This is excellent content material. Youve loaded this with valuable, informative content material that any reader can understand. I enjoy reading articles that are so quite well-written. 950185
tadalafil from india reviews side effects of tadalafil evolution peptides tadalafil
I was curious if you ever considered changing the structure of your site?
Its very well written; I love what youve got
to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better.
Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or two images.
Maybe you could space it out better?
tadalafil generic cialis generic tadalafil daily online
There is a large distinction between stainless steel as well as chrome
https://ameblo.jp/steelproductsgov/entry-12674827026.html
tadalafil peptide vidalista tadalafil reviews tadalafil side effects
Oh my goodness! Impressive article dude! Many thanks, However I am encountering problems with your RSS. I donít understand the reason why I can't subscribe to it. Is there anybody getting similar RSS issues? Anyone who knows the solution can you kindly respond? Thanks!!
https://www.magcloud.com/user/o5qteol960
Great post! We will be linking to this great content on our website. Keep up the good writing.
https://autohub.ng/user/profile/225805
Aw, this was an exceptionally nice post. Taking the time and actual effort to generate a superb articleÖ but what can I sayÖ I hesitate a whole lot and never manage to get nearly anything done.
https://postheaven.net/massage3b3ncczp530/h2-the-benefits-of-massage-therapy-h2-massage-therapy-is-the-manipulation-of
Its such as you read my thoughts! You seem to know so much approximately this, like you wrote the ebook in it or something.
I feel that you simply could do with a few p.c.
to drive the message home a little bit, however instead of
that, that is wonderful blog. An excellent read. I'll certainly be back.
mpo100 bermain curang terhadap member dengan melakukan settingan rtp
rendah ada mesin slot
hydroxychloroquine 200 mg twice a day cloroquine how safe is hydroxychloroquine
Hello there, I do believe your site could possibly be having internet browser compatibility issues. Whenever I look at your web site in Safari, it looks fine however, if opening in IE, it has some overlapping issues. I simply wanted to give you a quick heads up! Besides that, excellent site!
https://telegra.ph/Learning-Massage-Therapy-and-Reflexology-for-a-Remedy-04-28
used to treat malaria chloro hydroxychloroquin chloroquine without prescription
tadalafil e20 pill cost of cialis tadalis sx 20
When someone writes an article he/she maintains the plan of
a user in his/her brain that how a user can know it.
Thus that's why this paragraph is amazing. Thanks!
Hello, for all time i used to check web site posts here in the early
hours in the daylight, as i love to find out more and more.
This website was... how do I say it? Relevant!! Finally I have found something which helped me. Thanks!
https://tct.info.vn/forum/User-kenyalion32
great submit, very informative. I ponder why
the opposite specialists of this sector do not
notice this. You should continue your writing.
I am confident, you have a great readers' base already!
If you would like to increase your familiarity simply keep visiting this web site and be updated with the newest news posted here.
tadalafil research powder generic cialis sublingual tadalafil
Magnificent goods from you, man. I've understand your stuff previous to and you are just
too great. I actually like what you've acquired here, certainly like what you're saying and the way
in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to
keep it wise. I can not wait to read far more
from you. This is actually a wonderful website.
This is the right web site for anyone who really wants to find out about this topic. You understand a whole lot its almost tough to argue with you (not that I personally will need toÖHaHa). You certainly put a fresh spin on a topic that's been discussed for years. Wonderful stuff, just excellent!
https://zenwriting.net/systemcancer93/massage-therapy-whats-the-difference-between-hands-on-and-self-massage
mg 18 tuf best price usa tadalafil tavista
tadalafil peptides tadalafil without a doctor prescription sublingual tadalafil
chloroquine tab hydrochlorothiazide chloroquine phosphate cvs
Hi there! This blog post could not be written much better! Reading through this article reminds me of my previous roommate! He continually kept talking about this. I am going to send this article to him. Pretty sure he'll have a great read. Many thanks for sharing!
http://ikeynote.cn/home.php?mod=space&uid=2654818
hydroxychlor 200 mg clozapine hydroxychlorophine
mambo 36 side effects tadalafil brands tadalafil 60 mg dosage
Thank you for sharing your info. I truly appreciate
your efforts and I am waiting for your further write ups thank you
once again.
I am really impressed along with your writing skills as neatly as with the structure on your blog.
Is that this a paid topic or did you customize it yourself?
Anyway stay up the nice high quality writing, it
is uncommon to peer a great weblog like this one today..
Hi there, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was
just curious if you get a lot of spam remarks?
If so how do you reduce it, any plugin or anything you can suggest?
I get so much lately it's driving me crazy so any assistance is very much appreciated.
Wow! At last I got a webpage from where I can genuinely get useful facts
regarding my study and knowledge.
I am actually pleased to read this blog posts which
includes tons of helpful information, thanks for providing such data.
Hello, I enjoy reading through your article post.
I wanted to write a little comment to support
you.
Have you ever thought about publishing an ebook or guest authoring on other sites?
I have a blog based upon on the same topics you discuss and would
love to have you share some stories/information. I know my readers would appreciate your work.
If you are even remotely interested, feel free to send me an e-mail.
For a popular camp like Slot, that certainly will not make you disappointed with the new game genre. As the administrators have informed from the beginning, the new game genre is no longer the same model that does not have a bad payout rate. It is also a new game genre that will not confuse everyone as well. For anyone who wants to try to come and play, they can come in and play easily without worrying about losing for sure.
https://live222th.com/slotxo
cloroquin hydroxychloroquine buy chloroquine drug class
First of all I would like to say fantastic blog!
I had a quick question that I'd like to ask if you do not mind.
I was curious to know how you center yourself and clear your
mind before writing. I have had trouble clearing my thoughts in getting my ideas out there.
I do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like the first 10
to 15 minutes tend to be wasted just trying to figure out how to
begin. Any ideas or tips? Many thanks!
An interesting discussion is definitely worth comment. I believe that you need to publish more on this topic, it may not be a taboo matter but usually people do not speak about these issues. To the next! Kind regards!!
http://bitcoinmoney.ru/user/nestant7/
Excellent web site you have got here.. Itís difficult to find excellent writing like yours these days. I seriously appreciate individuals like you! Take care!!
http://www.lambrettaclubcampania.it/index.php?option=com_k2&view=itemlist&task=user&id=87198
Hi there! This post couldn't be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this article to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!
https://www.theodysseyonline.com/user/@dobrinasveti
Your style is really unique in comparison to other folks I've read stuff from. I appreciate you for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I will just book mark this web site.
http://socialrus.com/story6862376/the-cause-of-problem-gambling
I'd have to examine with you here. Which is not one thing I usually do! I take pleasure in reading a post that may make folks think. Additionally, thanks for permitting me to comment!
https://bv4music.bandcamp.com/releases
Next time I read a blog, I hope that it does not disappoint me just as much as this one. After all, Yes, it was my choice to read, however I actually thought you would probably have something useful to say. All I hear is a bunch of moaning about something that you could possibly fix if you were not too busy seeking attention.
https://www.bonanza.com/users/48145440/profile
Hello! Someone in my Myspace group shared this website with us so
I came to check it out. I'm definitely enjoying the information. I'm book-marking and will be tweeting this to my followers!
Great blog and wonderful design and style.
Greetings I am so thrilled I found your weblog, I really found you by accident, while I was researching on Google
for something else, Anyhow I am here now and would just like to say thank you for a fantastic post and a all round entertaining blog (I also love the theme/design), I don't have
time to read it all at the minute but I have saved it
and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a great deal
more, Please do keep up the superb job.
hydroxychloroquine tablets clonidin hydroxychoroquine