 |
|
|
|
May 12th, 2011
08:01 AM ET
Who are you fantasizing about during sex?Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him at his website, GoodInBed.
Do taboo thoughts make their way into your most intimate real-life moments? If so, take a deep breath and relax. You’re not alone, in fact you’re probably in the majority. In one study published by The Journal of Sex Research, 98% of partnered men and 80% of partnered women said that they had fantasized about someone other than their partner during sex in the previous two months. Whew! CNNHealth's sex expert blogger Ian Kerner stops by to talk about the rise in women using porn on HLN's The Joy Behar Show, Thursday, 9 p.m. ET The truth is, a healthy fantasy life is one of the keys to a great sex life - even when your partner might not always play the leading role. Most people find that they are most sexually satisfied when they are intimate with one person with whom they feel completely comfortable. Along with this intimacy comes the freedom to let go and explore, including fantasizing about other people, places, and situations. In one study on sexual fantasy by noted expert Dr. Harold Leitenberg it was concluded that sexual fantasies occur most often in people with the highest sexual satisfaction and the healthiest sex lives. So your fantasies aren’t an indication that something is wrong, but rather that something is right. Fantasies play a valuable role in our sex-lives. First off, they fuel arousal: “Thoughts can create real physical changes in your body, and you can use this to your advantage,” writes sex educator Emily Nagoski in the Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms. “This is why people fantasize even while they’re having sex - the added juice of the fantasy heightens arousal when the physical sensations aren’t enough to get us where we want to go.” Fantasies also free the brain to explore secret, extraordinary realms without the obligations of everyday life. Kaye Wellings, a respected British biologist, puts it best in her book, "First Love, First Sex:" “Fantasies perform a valuable function. Most of us, most of the time, behave conservatively, sexually and otherwise. Our erotic experiences represent only the tip of the iceberg in terms of possibilities. Many possibilities only see the light of day through fantasies or dreams, seldom as reality.” And says Good in Bed expert Ann Potter, “I like to imagine that fantasizing is like putting training wheels on my desires - those desires that are maybe a little too 'out there' for me or my partner to get on board with acting out right away, or ever.” And when it comes to fantasies, adults do just fine with a permanent set of training wheels, and needn’t bother with graduating to a two-wheeler. The brain is the biggest sex organ and a little fantasizing goes a long way. So rather than resist your fantasies, let yourself enjoy them. Trying to suppress fantasies may end up doing more harm than good. In the mid-1980s, Dr. Daniel Wegner at the University of Virginia studied the menchanics of thought-suppression in an experiment known as the “white bear study.” Wegner sat people in a room with a tape recorder and told them to say whatever came to mind, with one exception: Don’t think about a white bear. No surprise, people mentioned the bear constantly. The more they tried not to think about it, the more they mentioned it. By suppressing a forbidden thought the brain never gets a chance to fully process that thought, and what could just be an innocent fantasy suddenly becomes a guilt-laden white bear that won’t go away. Most of the time it’s not our fantasies that are the problem, but rather our reactions to our fantasies - the feelings of shame and guilt, as well as our anxieties and fears about what those fantasies might really mean. But fantasies are meant to be enjoyed and if they weren’t taboo, well then they wouldn’t be fantasies to begin with. soundoff (1,793 Responses)« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 Next »Leave a Reply to Company Van Repair Shop
« Previous entryOn the Brain: Finding good and bad people
|
  About this blog
Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love.
 |
|
|
|
Tell the truth (or rather, think the truth): have you ever fantasized during sex about someone other than the person you’re actually having sex with? Perhaps there’s a particular celebrity that turns you on, or a former flame, or even (heaven forbid) a brother or sister-in-law?
https://ibsads.com/user/profile/16119
The only point I regret is not having actually found your blog before.
https://www.laweekly.com/5-best-cbd-oil-companies-to-buy-from-in-2019/
http://noreferer.net/?url=http://remingtoneojz234.huicopper.com/the-worst-videos-of-all-time-about-saseoltoto
https://www.dodajogloszenia.pl/user/profile/516512
Very few writers with proper understanding of the topics they blog about.
https://www.laweekly.com/5-best-cbd-oil-companies-to-buy-from-in-2019/
vardenafil coupon https://vegavardenafil.com/ vardenafil 10 mg
canada online viagra https://canadaviagrastore.com/ canada viagra
After I originally commented I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a comment is added I receive four emails with the same comment. Perhaps there is a way you can remove me from that service? Many thanks!
https://visual.ly/users/dalemunoz460215/portfolio
https://thinfi.com/026r0
which erectile dysfunction drugs cost more https://plaquenilx.com/ erectile tissue location and function
erectile pills in canada https://plaquenilx.com/ erectile means
buy avanafil avana tabs
It's an awesome post for all the online visitors; they will take advantage from it
I am sure.
bookmarked!!, I love your blog!
https://gambling4fridgejames95.bladejournal.com/post/2021/04/13/Baccarat-Play-Baccarat-Like-A-Pro
https://game7vienngocrong.net/forum/profile.php?section=personality&id=667350
Hello would you mind letting me know which webhost you're utilizing? I've loaded your blog in 3 completely different browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot faster then most. Can you suggest a good internet hosting provider at a fair price? Many thanks, I appreciate it!
http://jerseybola63726.dreamyblogs.com/2989539/jersey-printing-keren-kirim-dari-bandung-pesan-sekarang-via-wa-081388885251
There's definately a great deal to find out about this subject. I like all the points you have made.
http://drpetepublishing.com/members/breathkick8/activity/338697/
Way cool! Some very valid points! I appreciate you penning this post and also the rest of the website is
also really good.
Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude! Thank you, However I am experiencing difficulties with your RSS. I don’t understand why I can't join it. Is there anybody else getting identical RSS issues? Anybody who knows the answer can you kindly respond? Thanx!!
https://www.studentlistings.com/link.asp?u=http3A//meganleary.com&c=11
malaria drug chloroquine https://chloroquineorigin.com/ what is chloroquine
This website was... how do I say it? Relevant!! Finally I have found something that helped me. Thanks a lot!
http://www.drupalconsult.com/demo/qa/index.php?qa=user&qa_1=priestcorn3
canadian pills online https://canadapillstorex.com/ canadian diet pills
My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find most of your post's to be what precisely I'm looking for. can you offer guest writers to write content for yourself? I wouldn't mind producing a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write about here. Again, awesome web site!
https://zenwriting.net/morgangqhw/ketika-kalian-mempunyai-kartu-beringas-di-lunas-kalian-bisa-mengubahnya
Great post. I will be experiencing a few of these issues as well..
https://telegra.ph/Win-Big-From-Casino-Slots-04-11
What an outstanding manner of taking a look at things.
http://www.gardenershub.xyz/
you're really a good webmaster. The web site loading speed is incredible. It seems that you are doing any unique trick. Furthermore, The contents are masterpiece. you have done a magnificent job on this topic!
https://kaossablon3dbandungjmzr360.life3dblog.com/3321244/gudang-jasa-backlink-pbn-murah-di-indonesia-direktori-web-optimization-indoenesia
Howdy! I just would like to give you a huge thumbs up for your great information you have here on this post. I am coming back to your website for more soon.
https://championsleage.review/wiki/How_Does_Poker_Work
Too many blog writers nowadays but only a few have posts worth spending time on reviewing.
http://telescopicladders.xyz/
That is a good tip particularly to those fresh to the blogosphere. Simple but very precise infoÖ Thanks for sharing this one. A must read article!
https://lessontoday.com/profile/casino7alleygrouse50/activity/633623/
Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my
blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates.
I've been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time
and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with
something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything.
I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to
your new updates.
There is certainly a great deal to find out about this subject. I like all the points you made.
https://vimeo.com/gandermeat92
Sweet blog! I found it while browsing on Yahoo News.
Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News?
I've been trying for a while but I never seem to get there!
Thanks
avanafil 50 avana drug
You need to take part in a contest for one of the best websites on the internet. I'm going to recommend this blog!
https://blabshack.com/members/casino2sampancarp11/activity/95269/
priligy tablets uk priligy tablets
Hi there, I think your web site might be having web browser compatibility problems. Whenever I look at your blog in Safari, it looks fine however, when opening in I.E., it has some overlapping issues. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Apart from that, excellent site!
https://italentos.win/wiki/Wild_Eights_A_Simple_together_with_Enjoyable_Cardgame
pfizer viagra canada pharmistry https://canadaviagrastore.com/ canada viagra scam
Great article! We will be linking to this great post on our website. Keep up the good writing.
https://spinalhub.win/wiki/A_Crazy_Eight_Card_Game
Why users still use to read news papers when in this technological world everything is available on web?
After checking out a handful of the articles on your web page, I honestly appreciate your technique of writing a blog. I bookmarked it to my bookmark webpage list and will be checking back in the near future. Please visit my website as well and tell me your opinion.
https://extraproxies.com
erectile reverser https://canadaerectiledysfunctionpills.com/ erectile dysfunction when quitting drinking
Good post. I learn something totally new and challenging on blogs I stumbleupon on a daily basis. It's always interesting to read through articles from other authors and use something from other web sites.
https://postheaven.net/gambling6fridgesoap51/texas-holdem-poker-strategy-basics
canadian weight loss pills https://canadapillstorex.com/ best canadian mail order pharmacies for diet pills
Iím impressed, I must say. Rarely do I come across a blog thatís equally educative and interesting, and without a doubt, you've hit the nail on the head. The problem is an issue that not enough people are speaking intelligently about. Now i'm very happy that I stumbled across this in my search for something relating to this.
https://timeoftheworld.date/wiki/Biomarking_Data_The_Benefits_of_DBE_Technologies
buy generic cialis without prescription canadian pharmacy https://canadacialisstore.com/ canadian viagra cialis
I really love your blog.. Pleasant colors & theme. Did you create this site yourself? Please reply back as Iím hoping to create my very own blog and would like to learn where you got this from or what the theme is named. Kudos!
http://lzx.lezaizhuan.com/space-uid-2950864.html
avanafil dosing avana tabs
Can I just say what a comfort to discover an individual who actually understands what they are talking about online. You actually realize how to bring an issue to light and make it important. A lot more people ought to read this and understand this side of the story. It's surprising you're not more popular since you certainly have the gift.
https://arabhelp.org/user/z8agerd079
Excellent web site you have here.. Itís hard to find excellent writing like yours nowadays. I truly appreciate individuals like you! Take care!!
https://mozillabd.science/wiki/The_Finest_Singapore_Hotels_Part_2_Casino_Choices
Nice post. I learn something totally new and challenging on websites I stumbleupon every day. It's always useful to read through content from other writers and practice something from other sites.
https://articlescad.com/roulette-strategies-and-tips-860373.html