home
RSS
Do women like porn as much as men?
April 28th, 2011
08:48 AM ET

Do women like porn as much as men?

Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him at his website, GoodInBed.

If you’d asked me this question a couple of years ago, I would have said “no.” But the times they are a-changing: just as female infidelity is on the rise, women are catching up to the guys in other ways, too - including a propensity for porn.

As a sex therapist and founder of the website Good in Bed, here’s what I’m observing:

- More couples are enjoying porn together, with women often taking the lead in choosing the material.

- More women are using porn to get themselves in the mood for sex or to enjoy their sexuality on their own.

- More women are using porn to learn new sexual techniques or to explore sexually adventurous situations.

- More women are using porn to satisfy a general curiosity about sex overall, and

- More women are comfortable and confident in asserting their opinions on the subject.

In short, women are increasingly using porn for pretty much the same reasons (and pleasures) as men. Meanwhile, guys are increasingly surprised to discover that their female partners are interested in porn - and tend to be even more surprised to discover what they’re watching (I’ll get to that in a moment).

So what’s going on? Why the apparent change? To be honest, I’d always been of the mind that men and women are somewhat different when it comes to porn, for both biological and sociological reasons:

On the biological side, I’ve often said female sexual desire is more complex than male desire, and that porn rather clearly illustrates that difference: In men, visual stimulation leads quickly to sexual arousal, and with that chain of arousal often comes a desire to be stimulated to orgasm. In that sense, arousal and desire are very closely related, and it’s one of the reasons that Viagra has been so successful with men: Give a guy an erection and he basically wants to use it. In men, porn initiates the “sexual-circuit” very quickly.

That’s not to say that women don’t respond to visual stimulation either, or that that stimulation doesn’t lead to genital arousal, but that arousal doesn’t always trigger desire in women the way that it does with men.

When I talk to guys about their porn use, many describe a lack of pre-meditation. For example, a guy could be hanging out on his computer, checking out his favorite sports site, when up pops an ad with a sexy woman in a bikini and, bang, next thing he knows he’s trawling porn sites in search of sexual release.

With women, however, the use of porn or the desire/decision to have an orgasm is often less opportunistic. A woman may see something super-sexy, and recognize it as sexy, and even arousing, but that doesn’t mean she’s necessarily going to stop what she’s doing to stimulate herself to orgasm. (By the way, if you don’t agree with any of this, please chime in below in the comments - sexual desire is by no means a one size fits all model: everyone is different and topic of women and porn is a highly debated one.)

On a more sociological level, generations of women have been told that porn is evil: that it exploits, objectifies, and degrades women, and that a woman who enjoys porn is a betrayer of Women. Some may still feel this is true, (and there are plenty of women who feel uncomfortable with porn), but there are also plenty of women who would beg to disagree and look at porn as a fairly innocuous form of erotic escapism that’s a personal choice and not a big deal.

Additionally, many women have contended that porn, until fairly recently, was never really created with female customers in mind; that porn was designed to appeal to men and lacked elements that were more organic to female sexuality, such as foreplay, intimacy and erotic storylines.

Well, today there are many porn sites geared toward women. In fact, there’s even a regular Feminist Porn Awards that recognizes erotic entertainment that is smart, sexy, and appreciates women as viewers.

Combine a recognition of a female audience with the rapid proliferation of easily accessible Internet porn, and it only makes sense that more women are enjoying porn. (By the way, if you’re a woman and you’re interested in dipping a toe - or perhaps nose-diving - into the world of porn, I suggest checking out the work of Violet Blue and her book, "The Smart Girl's Guide to Porn." Or if porn isn’t your thing, but you’re interested in some hot erotic literature, take a look at the anthologies that are edited by Rachel Kramer Bussell.)

As it turns our women may be able to enjoy porn with less guilt, or at least with less grief from their male partners. In my experience, women tend to worry a lot more about their man’s porn habits and what it means to their relationship, whereas many of the men I’ve spoken with tend to be intrigued by the idea of women and porn - especially since women are much more likely to enjoy porn that does not directly reflect their sexual orientation.

One study at Northwestern University, for example, examined the effects of porn on genital arousal and concluded that men responded more intensely to porn that correlated to their particular sexual orientation, whereas women tended to be genitally aroused by a much broader spectrum of erotic material. Who knows –- perhaps the enormous variety of material offered by the Internet will end up playing more to the spectrum of female desire than male desire in the long run?

For the moment, it would seem that women are not watching porn nearly as much as men. Recently, a researcher from the University of Montreal set out to study whether pornography had an impact on guys’ sex lives. He searched for men in their 20s who'd never consumed porn, and guess what? He couldn't find a single one. I can still show you plenty of women who have never looked at porn - but perhaps not for long.

So do women like porn as much as men? You tell me.


soundoff (1,410 Responses)
  1. RV Fabrication Riverside

    There's definately a lot to learn about this subject. I like all of the points you've made.

    http://murlo.org/ru/tolink?redirection=true&link=http3A2F2Finstagram.com/ocrvcenter

    May 11, 2021 at 20:44 | Report abuse | Reply
  2. geico repair center

    Great information. Lucky me I ran across your website by chance (stumbleupon). I have book-marked it for later!

    http://www.tunesbaby.com/yt/?x=Yh-n5uD9i9k

    May 11, 2021 at 21:49 | Report abuse | Reply
  3. RV Furniture Near Me

    Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you writing this post plus the rest of the site is really good.

    http://www.gbqconsulting.net/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=goo.gl/maps/iCzoZ1dDPjhG6Dsh6

    May 12, 2021 at 02:09 | Report abuse | Reply
  4. monrovia collision center

    I was able to find good info from your content.

    http://yellowpages.rrstar.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=ocrvcenter.info/rv-seats-repair-near-me

    May 12, 2021 at 03:10 | Report abuse | Reply
  5. truck shop orange california

    http://www.friscowebsites.com/Redirect.aspx?destination=https://ocrvmotorsports.com/rv-repair-shop-fullerton-california

    May 12, 2021 at 03:12 | Report abuse | Reply
  6. oc trailers

    https://d.agkn.com/pixel/2389/?che=2979434297&col=22204979,1565515,238211572,435508400,111277757&l1=https://youtube.com/watch?v=FhHK3C–2HE

    May 12, 2021 at 03:36 | Report abuse | Reply
  7. Auto Sprinter Repair

    This website was... how do I say it? Relevant!! Finally I have found something that helped me. Thanks a lot!

    https://aro.lfv.se/ViewSwitcher/SwitchView?mobile=True&returnUrl=https://sprintervanrepairshop.com/cable-truck-repair-shop-near-me

    May 12, 2021 at 05:29 | Report abuse | Reply
  8. motorhome inspection near me

    http://big5.jobcn.com/gate/big5/theocrv.com/trailer-collision-repair-shop-near-me

    May 12, 2021 at 06:19 | Report abuse | Reply
  9. RV Headlights Near Me

    http://www.tadzc.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=youtube.com/channel/UChUH5GdtSzHx6V02C90mnfQ/videos

    May 12, 2021 at 07:20 | Report abuse | Reply
  10. rv collision repair

    Great post. I'm dealing with many of these issues as well..

    https://www.vdyoutube.com/watch?v=jv8_YNJJsIA

    May 12, 2021 at 09:10 | Report abuse | Reply
  11. rv sales orange county

    It’s hard to find knowledgeable people in this particular topic, but you sound like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks

    https://sh.shulcloud.com/track.php?id=4c5c111e733449a9a439790f0d4b1431&url=https://ocrvmotorsports.com/ambulance-collision-repair-shop-near-me

    May 12, 2021 at 09:33 | Report abuse | Reply
  12. rv repair centers near me

    Hi, I do think this is a great web site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I may revisit yet again since I bookmarked it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich and continue to guide others.

    https://isaaa.org/kc/cropbiotechupdate/article.asp?xxIDxx=5988&xxURLxx=https://ocrv.life/rv-repair-near-me

    May 12, 2021 at 10:11 | Report abuse | Reply
  13. prostar collision center

    https://www.bioguiden.se/redirect.aspx?url=https://theocrv.com/international-truck-collision-repair-shop-near-me

    May 12, 2021 at 10:30 | Report abuse | Reply
  14. Sprinter Van Door Repair

    https://www.igive.com/isearch/NonStoreExit.cfm?type=1&isid=0df7d37f-4feb-4f0f-b472-1df60f43914d&rurl=https://fleetservicesorangecounty.com/luxury-sprinter-van-shop-near-me

    May 12, 2021 at 10:34 | Report abuse | Reply
  15. rv generator repair near me

    This is a really good tip particularly to those fresh to the blogosphere. Simple but very accurate information… Many thanks for sharing this one. A must read article!

    https://www.theweddingsecret.co.uk/BusinessClickthroughs/add?website=https://ocrv.pro/rv-repair-shop-manhattan-beach-california

    May 12, 2021 at 10:37 | Report abuse | Reply
  16. furniture reupholstery orange county

    https://www.tanken.ne.jp/cate/fhhanpu/rl_out.cgi?id=ox8448&url=https://ocrv.guru/motorhome-roof-repair-near-me

    May 12, 2021 at 11:26 | Report abuse | Reply
  17. RV Headlights Riverside

    https://www.inspectionnews.net/home_inspection/redirect-to/?redirect=http3A2F2Fyoutube.com/channel/UCCWA5o3d2u11KvEjA3wLVUA/videos

    May 12, 2021 at 12:05 | Report abuse | Reply
  18. west hills collision center

    http://transportation.automation.com/statistics/logClick.php?statType=commerce&pageId=33&Id=189&redirect=https://ocrvmotorsports.com/rv-repair-shop-lawndale-california

    May 12, 2021 at 12:30 | Report abuse | Reply
  19. Mercedes Sprinter Cowl Panel Rust Repair

    https://reddit.app.link/?channel=mweb_branch&feature=xpromo&campaign=xpromo&$og_redirect=https://sprintervanrepairshop.com/truck-restoration-shop-near-me

    May 12, 2021 at 12:45 | Report abuse | Reply
  20. rv shower upgrade

    I couldn’t resist commenting. Exceptionally well written!

    https://sintesi.provincia.le.it/portale/LinkClick.aspx?link=https://youtube.com/watch?v=KUwXWCtXXpI

    May 12, 2021 at 13:04 | Report abuse | Reply
  21. RV Alignment California

    Greetings! Very helpful advice within this article! It's the little changes that will make the biggest changes. Thanks for sharing!

    https://f86sabre.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=www.yelp.com/biz/ocrv-center-yorba-linda

    May 12, 2021 at 13:23 | Report abuse | Reply
  22. RV TV Riverside

    An outstanding share! I've just forwarded this onto a friend who has been doing a little homework on this. And he actually bought me dinner because I stumbled upon it for him... lol. So let me reword this.... Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanks for spending some time to talk about this issue here on your website.

    https://www.renaissance-strategic-advisors.us/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=youtube.com/channel/UCGb9aC76nAmfzNsCru2KBHA/videos

    May 12, 2021 at 13:46 | Report abuse | Reply
  23. RV AC Riverside

    You ought to be a part of a contest for one of the most useful blogs on the internet. I'm going to highly recommend this website!

    https://garrisonexcelsior.com/redirect.php?url=https://yelp.com/biz/ocrv-center-anaheim-4

    May 12, 2021 at 14:12 | Report abuse | Reply
  24. RV Steps California

    https://www.oakproduction.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=yelp.com/biz/ocrv-center-yorba-linda

    May 12, 2021 at 14:26 | Report abuse | Reply
  25. rv parts and repair

    https://sh.shulcloud.com/track.php?id=4c5c111e733449a9a439790f0d4b1431&url=https://ocrvshop.com/elliott-collision-repair-shop-near-me

    May 12, 2021 at 14:34 | Report abuse | Reply
  26. rv wraps before and after

    Good post. I learn something totally new and challenging on blogs I stumbleupon everyday. It's always exciting to read articles from other authors and use something from other web sites.

    http://redirects.tradedoubler.com/utm/td_redirect.php?td_keep_old_utm_value=1&url=https://ocrvcenter.net/rv-repair-shop-bellflower-california

    May 12, 2021 at 14:54 | Report abuse | Reply
  27. rex trailers horse

    After exploring a few of the blog articles on your web page, I seriously like your technique of blogging. I added it to my bookmark website list and will be checking back soon. Please check out my web site as well and tell me what you think.

    http://emails.erieinsurance.com/ern40/c2.php?ERIN/37662445/139490/H/N/V/https://ocrv.biz/rv-repair-shop-bellflower-california

    May 12, 2021 at 15:57 | Report abuse | Reply
  28. 08 Sprinter Intake PRT Repair

    That is a really good tip particularly to those fresh to the blogosphere. Simple but very accurate information… Thank you for sharing this one. A must read post!

    https://vse-doski.com/redirect/?go=https://commercialvanrepairshop.com/technician-shop-near-me

    May 12, 2021 at 16:19 | Report abuse | Reply
  29. rv roof repair near me

    This site was... how do I say it? Relevant!! Finally I have found something which helped me. Many thanks!

    http://nanos.jp/jmp?url=https://youtube.com/watch?v=KjpMaYNJbOg

    May 12, 2021 at 16:42 | Report abuse | Reply
  30. RV Collision Repair Near Me

    http://www.deminformatica.com/gotoURL.asp?url=http://www.goo.gl/maps/iCzoZ1dDPjhG6Dsh6

    May 12, 2021 at 19:26 | Report abuse | Reply
  31. RV Paint Shop Orange County

    Hi, I do believe this is a great web site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I'm going to come back once again since I book marked it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich and continue to help other people.

    https://www.leinen.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=youtube.com/channel/UCCWA5o3d2u11KvEjA3wLVUA/videos

    May 12, 2021 at 20:24 | Report abuse | Reply
  32. trailer repair orange county

    https://www.faseb.org/pdfviewer?loadthis=https://ocrvcenter.co/rv-repair-shop-pomona-california

    May 12, 2021 at 21:28 | Report abuse | Reply
  33. RV Steps Near Me

    Good post. I learn something totally new and challenging on sites I stumbleupon everyday. It will always be helpful to read through content from other authors and practice a little something from their web sites.

    https://www.e-learningpartner.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=www.yelp.com/biz/ocrv-center-anaheim

    May 12, 2021 at 21:29 | Report abuse | Reply
  34. how to repair rv plumbing

    You need to take part in a contest for one of the greatest sites on the web. I most certainly will recommend this website!

    http://czech-guide.aspone.cz/language.aspx?culture=cs-CZ&ReturnUrl=https://ocrvexperts.com/rv-repair-shop-pico-rivera-california

    May 12, 2021 at 21:34 | Report abuse | Reply
  35. awning repair near me

    Very good article. I'm facing a few of these issues as well..

    http://kebrt.webz.cz/download.php?url=https://ocrv.me/rv-repair-shop-hawaiian-gardens-california

    May 12, 2021 at 23:20 | Report abuse | Reply
  36. paint a horse trailer

    https://www.iaai.com/VehicleInspection/InspectionProvidersUrl?name=AA Transit Pros Inspection Service&url=http://youtube.com/watch?v=4lQ-nB48O2Y

    May 12, 2021 at 23:25 | Report abuse | Reply
  37. Sprinter Van Repair Los Angeles

    https://web28.werkbank.bayern-online.de/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?url=https://fleetvehiclerepairshop.com/van-alignment-shop-near-me

    May 12, 2021 at 23:50 | Report abuse | Reply
  38. certified rv repair

    Pretty! This was an extremely wonderful post. Thank you for supplying these details.

    https://vse-doski.com/redirect/?go=https://ocrv.pro/rv-tire-repair-near-me

    May 12, 2021 at 23:52 | Report abuse | Reply
  39. RV Steps Orange County

    http://eaglevalleybank.org/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=yelp.com/biz/ocrv-center-anaheim-4

    May 13, 2021 at 02:17 | Report abuse | Reply
  40. Frightliner Sprinter Repair Shop

    Hello, I believe your website may be having internet browser compatibility problems. Whenever I take a look at your blog in Safari, it looks fine however when opening in I.E., it's got some overlapping issues. I simply wanted to give you a quick heads up! Besides that, great blog!

    https://www.bad.org.uk/for-the-public/patient-information-leaflets/androgenetic-alopecia/?showmore=1&returnlink=https://fleetrepairshops.com/van-upholstery-shop-near-me

    May 13, 2021 at 02:51 | Report abuse | Reply
  41. RV Lighting Near Me

    You are so cool! I don't believe I have read through something like this before. So nice to find somebody with original thoughts on this issue. Seriously.. thanks for starting this up. This web site is something that is required on the internet, someone with a little originality!

    https://www.amanmd.net/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=youtube.com/channel/UCCWA5o3d2u11KvEjA3wLVUA/videos

    May 13, 2021 at 03:03 | Report abuse | Reply
  42. trailer repair places near me

    You need to be a part of a contest for one of the greatest sites on the net. I will recommend this web site!

    http://old.nepalimmigration.gov.np/site/languages/languageA/3?url=https://ocrv.vip/rv-step-repair-near-me

    May 13, 2021 at 03:34 | Report abuse | Reply
  43. truck box repair

    bookmarked!!, I love your website!

    https://www.adminer.org/redirect/?url=https://ocrv.us/rv-repair-shop-moreno-valley-california

    May 13, 2021 at 05:54 | Report abuse | Reply
  44. RV Interior Designer Riverside

    This website was... how do I say it? Relevant!! Finally I've found something which helped me. Appreciate it!

    https://oxfordworldhistory.net/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=instagram.com/ocrvcenter

    May 13, 2021 at 06:43 | Report abuse | Reply
  45. Repair Van

    https://www.domainsherpa.com/share.php?site=https://fleetrepairshops.com/specialty-van-repair-shop-near-me

    May 13, 2021 at 07:53 | Report abuse | Reply
  46. how to repair rv blinds

    http://aboutlincolncenter.org/component/dmms/handoff?back_url=https://ocrvart.com/rv-tire-repair-near-me

    May 13, 2021 at 08:20 | Report abuse | Reply
  47. 2500 Sprinter Van Repair

    https://airvpn.org/external_link/?url=https://commercialvanrepairshop.com/semi-truck-upholstery-shop-near-me

    May 13, 2021 at 08:57 | Report abuse | Reply
  48. RV Tires Los Angeles

    Very good write-up. I certainly love this website. Keep writing!

    http://www.studio10.info/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=

    May 13, 2021 at 11:20 | Report abuse | Reply
  49. 2012 Mercedez Benz Sprinter Repair

    https://adengine.old.rt.ru/go.jsp?to=https://commercialrepairshop.com/sprinter-van-dent-repair-shop-near-me

    May 13, 2021 at 11:49 | Report abuse | Reply
  50. rv restoration near me

    https://www.capital.gr/viewswitcher/switchview?mobile=False&returnUrl=https://ocrv.vip/rv-repair-shop-cathedral-city-california

    May 13, 2021 at 13:01 | Report abuse | Reply
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23

Post a comment


 

CNN welcomes a lively and courteous discussion as long as you follow the Rules of Conduct set forth in our Terms of Service. Comments are not pre-screened before they post. You agree that anything you post may be used, along with your name and profile picture, in accordance with our Privacy Policy and the license you have granted pursuant to our Terms of Service.

Advertisement
About this blog

Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love.