 |
|
|
|
March 3rd, 2011
08:17 AM ET
E-motional affairs: How Facebook leads to infidelityIan Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him at his website, GoodInBed.
If you or your mate are spending too much time strolling down a digital Memory Lane, an emotional affair could be in the works. Here's how to Facebook-proof your relationship: Don’t romanticize the past at the expense of the present. I’m hearing this real-life story more often: A tale of high school sweethearts trying to go “back to the future,” only to realize they should have been content to leave those memories in that old shoebox in storage. How to reconnect and not be awkward or creepy In the end, we’re only human. We all romanticize the past, men and women alike. And no memories are more potent than those first youthful fumblings. We tend to remember the good parts and forget the bad. Until the advent of Facebook, though, most of us were compelled to leave the past in the past and move on. But now exes of all stripes - high school sweethearts, college lovers, former hookups - are popping up on Facebook. When two people strike up an online friendship, it’s easy to idealize each other and blur the line between fantasy and reality. An intense sense of intimacy is quickly fostered, particularly if intimacy was once shared in the past. But when one partner starts sharing himself or herself with another person, it chips away at the foundation of their core relationship - and starts building a foundation for a new relationship. Don't keep secrets. Here’s where friendship and attraction cross the line into emotional cheating. Each person stops sharing certain aspects of the friendship with his or her partner, and starts confiding more in the “friend” and less in his or her partner. In the past few years, I’ve heard from at least three exes who wanted to be my Facebook friend or found my website and e-mailed me out of the blue. And while it's tempting to accept these friend requests, or to fire back a quick “of course I remember you” e-mail, I haven’t done so. That was then; this is now. And in those rare instances where I have accepted an ex as a Facebook friend, or written back, I’ve informed my wife and let her read every correspondence. Not because she doesn’t trust me, but because we have nothing to hide. Once you have something to hide, that’s where the trouble begins. So if an old flame is on your case, just say, “I’m in a relationship now. I wish you all the best.” With Facebook friends like these, who needs enemies? The instant gratification of Facebook and other social networks stimulates reward centers in the brain - and it's easy to find oneself craving the quick hit of a connection or lamenting its absence. Even without the senses driving attraction, the mind goes into overdrive and imagines that this is the perfect person and the perfect relationship. Soon, a person may feel like an online friend “knows” him or her better than a partner does. People may feel freer to explore other parts of themselves, while real life (and a real relationship) feels stifling. This artificial sense of intimacy can begin to consume a person’s thoughts, which becomes all the more exciting because it’s a secret. Most people don’t set out to have “e-motional” affairs, and that’s one of the dangers of social networks like Facebook. It often just happens, usually as a friendly relationship snowballs into something more meaningful. A common myth is that only people in unhappy relationships have emotional affairs. In fact, many men and women who commit emotional infidelity report that they were happy when they became involved with their affair partners. Rather than seeking out love (or sex), unfaithful partners gradually blur the boundaries between friendship and intimacy over an extended period of time. Facebook friends: More powerful than Internet porn . As a sex therapist, I tend to hear a lot about people’s sexual habits, both when they’re with their partner and when they’re on their own. Now, it's no secret that when men self-pleasure they often choose Internet pornography over their own erotic imagination. Think of it as the lazy man's way; the difference between reading and watching TV. However, men who are Facebooking with their exes and falling in love all over again often skip the computer and go back to those potent formative memories to get themselves off. That’s how strong the past is - even stronger than Internet porn! An online affair is fueled by feelings of attraction between two people. You start to idealize the other person and fantasize about what sex would be like. This only adds fuel to the fire. Just like primary relationships, affairs that start out slowly and build a connection before progressing to sex are often the most difficult to break off - and the most damaging to the other relationship. There's no shame in disconnecting your Facebook account. Whether you’re a man or a woman, if you find you’re thinking more and more about the past, and getting to the point where you’re fantasizing about what it would be like to be with that person again, it’s time to unplug your computer, and get back to “face-timing” with your partner instead of Facebooking with the past. There's no shame in removing the one variable causing all the problems. Look, in the end we’re all living, breathing sexual beings. Attraction doesn’t end once we’re in a relationship. Even the most happily coupled people are going to feel the familiar buzz of attraction when someone catches their eye or laughs at one of their jokes. However, while feeling attraction is unavoidable, acting on it crosses the line. Attraction is one ingredient of an emotional affair. In order for attraction to launch into an emotional affair, a person has to also develop intimacy and, eventually, a feeling of connection with that person that supersedes their current relationship. In other words, attraction + effort + intimacy = emotional infidelity. Take away one, and all you’re left with is a natural instinct or a harmless Facebook friendship. Put all three together, and with friends like that... your relationship has a new enemy. soundoff (1,424 Responses)« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 Next »Leave a Reply to Forklift Service Shop California
Next entry »What Serena Williams' condition means
« Previous entryOn the Brain: Does a full bladder free your mind?
|
  About this blog
Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love.
 |
|
|
|
While the movie "The Social Network" may be Oscar history, Facebook is creating real-life dramas that lead to anything but Hollywood happy endings. In the last couple of years, I’ve seen scores of relationships destroyed by what I call "Facebook bombs" - blasts from the past that leave a relationship shattered to pieces.
online pharmacy canada medication pharmacy medicine online shopping
whoah this weblog is fantastic i love studying your posts. Stay up the great work! You understand, many people are hunting around for this info, you can help them greatly.
http://www.froleprotrem.com/
I’m no longer sure the place you are getting your information, however great topic. I must spend a while learning more or figuring out more. Thanks for fantastic information I was searching for this info for my mission.
https://europa-road.eu/hu/transportation.php
I'm so happy to read this. This is the type of manual that needs to be given and not the random misinformation that is at the other blogs. Appreciate your sharing this greatest doc.
https://europa-road.eu/
Hey, you used to write excellent, but the last few posts have been kinda boring?K I miss your tremendous writings. Past few posts are just a little bit out of track! come on!
https://europa-road.eu/
I just like the helpful information you provide on your articles. I’ll bookmark your blog and check again right here regularly. I'm moderately certain I will learn plenty of new stuff right right here! Good luck for the next!
http://www.dumpawaste.co.uk
Heya i am for the primary time here. I found this board and I to find It truly useful & it helped me out much. I'm hoping to provide one thing back and help others like you aided me.
http://www.froleprotrem.com/
canadian drugs canadian pharmacy drugs online mexican pharmacies online
excellent post.Never knew this, appreciate it for letting me know.
http://www.froleprotrem.com/
Does your blog use a contact page? I'm having problems locating it but, I'd prefer to
send an e-mail. I've got a bit of recommendations for your personal blog you might be considering hearing.
In either case, great blog and that i enjoy seeing it develop as
time passes.
Also visit my web page: NakitaLGulla
bill me later cash advance 2014 online payday loans in utah cash advance portland or
super strength cialis cialis super active vs cialis prescription for cialis purchase
erectafil 20 mg https://tadalisxs.com/ what is tadalafil
hcqs tablet https://hydroxychloroquinex.com/ hydroxychloroquine sulfate 200 mg tab
zithromax 500mg tab https://zithromaxes.com/ azithromycin 500mg chlamydia side effects
Like I said before, I LOVE the credit spread trade. You will probably narrow your search down to three or four possible online trading websites.
Like I said before, I LOVE the credit spread trade. Details cvv shop on our website. https://cvvdumps.cc/
And there is. What is psychology? It has been said that it is the 'science that deals with mental processes and behaviour.
It is something that has a lot of risk involved and it should be taken very seriously. Cvv shop when do you need cvc cvv. https://cvvdumps.cc/
myrtle beach viagra http://kloviagrli.com/ differences between viagra levitra and cialis
Earn 500 a Day With Our Passive Income System Doing These 3 Steps – Step 1: Get our ready made niche websites, Step 2: Setup your Paypal account. Step 3: Run our Unlimited Traffic System from our Free 850 sources of traffic (Approximately 35000 views a day guaranteed). Then in few hours you will start receiving payments without do nothing! More info: https://www.k3reviews.com/2020/08/16/monster-mode-700k/
https://www.k3reviews.com/
Earn 500 a Day With Our Passive Income System Doing These 3 Steps: Step 1: Get our ready made niche websites, Step 2: Setup your Paypal account. Step 3: Run our Unlimited Traffic System from our Free 850 sources of traffic and start earning your income in same day. More info: https://www.k3reviews.com/2020/08/16/monster-mode-700k/
https://www.k3reviews.com/
generic cialis? cialis (lillys) cialis 20 mg
nitrates and cialis does cialis raise blood sugar taking cialis every day
buying car with cash or loan california payday loans direct lender payday loan promo codes
buy viagra no rx sildenafil 100mg price how much is viagra 100mg
24 hour payday loan direct lenders loan money instantly cash advance franklin oh
Loving the information on this site, you have done great job on the articles.
https://dreamproxies.com/proxy-tag/100-best-private-proxies-buy/
500000 Scrapebox Blast Live SEO blog Comment Backlinks: https://www.seoclerk.com/Link-Building/842132/500000-Scrapebox-Blast-Live-SEO-blog-Comment-Backlinks
https://www.seoclerk.com/Traffic/833336/I-will-drive-20000-google-organic-visitors-using-targeted-keywords
cialis che cos e pharmacie blanchet cialis comprar cialis generico fiable
Create a profitable digital marketing strategy and plan: https://www.seoclerk.com/Virtual-Assistant/840836/I-will-create-a-profitable-digital-marketing-strategy-and-plan
https://www.seoclerk.com/Link-Building/842081/1-000-000-GSA-Live-Backlinks-High-Quality-SEO-links-Bad-Links-Removal
how to get out of payday loan debt in alabama need cash loan today ireland cash advance loans in alexandria va
chloroquine phosphate vs hydroxychloroquine hydroxychloroquine zinc hydroxychloroquine sulfate
Best Marketing Services – Cheapest on Market. SMM Supreme is the Top 5 Best Social Media Website in the World. Best Quality-Price Ratio on the market with 714,928 orders until now. – Facebook Fan Page Likes for $4.50/1000 – Instagram Followers for $0.78/1000 – Youtube Views: $1.62/1000 – Twitter followers: $2.10/1000 – Paypal Deposit – Bitcoin Deposit – Fast order processing – 1 Hour Delivery Our Website: https://smmsupreme.com/services
https://bit.ly/3iOPatX
Do you want get more social network traffic, likes, and retweets? SMM Supreme uses his own panel system to generate social media traffic to any website. Best Quality-Price Ratio on the market with 714928 orders until now. – Facebook Fan Page Likes: $4.50/1000 – Instagram Followers: $0.78/1000 – Youtube Views: $1.62/1000 – Twitter followers: $2.10/1000 – Paypal Deposit – Payeer Deposit – Automatic order processing – Our Website: https://smmsupreme.com/
https://bit.ly/2Hnl7vE
Best Marketing Services – Cheapest on Market. SMM Supreme is the Top 5 Best Social Media Website in the World. Best Quality-Price Ratio on the market with 714,928 orders until now. – Facebook Fan Page Likes for $4.50/1000 – Instagram Followers for $0.78/1000 – Youtube Views: $1.62/1000 – Twitter followers: $2.10/1000 – Paypal Deposit – Bitcoin Deposit – Fast order processing – 1 Hour Delivery Our Website: https://smmsupreme.com/services
https://bit.ly/3iOPatX
Hiya very cool blog!! Guy .. Excellent .. Superb .. I will bookmark your blog and take the feeds additionally?KI'm satisfied to seek out so many useful information here within the submit, we want develop more techniques on this regard, thanks for sharing. . . . . .
http://www.vreyrolinomit.com/
There is certainly a great deal to find out about this topic.
I like each of the points you made.
Also visit my blog notebook wallet combo
ajpg5 4pie4 z14b
fkg3l f4nqb lqdo
qehek sbbyd 1fv0
taking half a viagra for fun cheapest viagra prices viagra online pharmacy
generi cialis http://buycialisxz.com/ orignal cialis
hur2u w352w fem0
A lot of of what you assert is supprisingly precise and it makes me wonder why I hadn't looked at this in this light previously. This particular piece truly did switch the light on for me as far as this particular subject matter goes. Nonetheless at this time there is actually 1 point I am not necessarily too cozy with so while I make an effort to reconcile that with the central idea of the issue, let me observe what the rest of your readers have to point out.Well done.
https://Proxyti.com/buy/1000-private-proxies
Thanks for the sensible critique. Me and my neighbor were just preparing to do some research about this. We got a grab a book from our local library but I think I learned more clear from this post. I'm very glad to see such great information being shared freely out there.
https://www.electricpercolatorcoffeepot.com/10-top-coffee-bloggers/
Sweet blog! I found it while browsing on Yahoo News. Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I've been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Thank you
https://example.com
Nice read, I just passed this onto a colleague who was doing a little research on that. And he just bought me lunch as I found it for him smile Therefore let me rephrase that: Thank you for lunch! "Procrastination is the thief of time." by Edward Young.
https://www.electricpercolatorcoffeepot.com/10-top-coffee-bloggers/
Definitely believe that which you said. Your favorite reason seemed to be on the internet the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed while people consider worries that they plainly do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people can take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thanks
https://www.electricpercolatorcoffeepot.com/10-top-coffee-bloggers/
Share this article please! It's very interesting: https://dro4ka.net
DR KADUKA IS THE ONLY SPELL CASTER YOU NEED TO GET YOUR SOLUTION
I was hurt and heart broken when a very big problem occurred in my marriage seven months ago, between me and my husband . so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce. he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the Email address of the spell caster whom he visited. KADUKATEMPLE@GMAIL.COM. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day. What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me, and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact Dr KADUKA, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at: KADUKATEMPLE@GMAIL.COM ,or whatsapp call him on +393511406759 ,and i lives in United Kingdom. Thank you sooooo much!!!
Как скачать видео с интернета? Ответ есть!
https://www.liveinternet.ru/users/nick_beliy/blog
https://vc.ru/u/741189-aleksey-bondarev/213399-kak-skachat-video-iz-instagram-prosteyshiy-sposob-bez-programm