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Does female sexuality need to be fixed?
February 3rd, 2011
09:51 AM ET

Does female sexuality need to be fixed?

Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him at his website, GoodInBed.

At Good in Bed, many of our experts are buzzing about a new documentary called "Orgasm, Inc." Directed by Liz Canner, the film chronicles the race by pharmaceutical companies to get FDA approval on “pink Viagra”—a pill to help treat female sexual dysfunction, or FSD.

The problem with this approach? As the film demonstrates, there’s no clear definition of FSD, which makes it difficult to determine whether it’s a problem that needs “treatment” or simply an example of the differences between male and female sexuality. The truth is that no one really knows what FSD is: Some people liken it to male sexual dysfunction, but there are major flaws with this comparison. It’s easy to tell when a man has premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction. Female sexuality is less obvious. Women just don’t show clear-cut physical signals when they’re aroused.

Another reason that FSD is tough to define is because we tend to label men who don’t climax during sex as “dysfunctional.” Yet an estimated 75 percent of women never orgasm from penetrative sex alone—suggesting that this is normal, not problematic. So maybe we shouldn’t be focusing on “fixing” female sexuality, but changing the ways we have sex so that women more consistently orgasm. Even researchers can’t agree: In 2000, the Journal of Urology offered a few definitions on FSD, including:

• Lack of interest in sexual activity
• “Phobic avoidance” of sexual contact with a partner
• Inability to attain or maintain sexual excitement
• Difficulty attaining orgasm
• Genital pain or pain during intercourse

More than a decade later, there’s still no consensus on which, if any, of these definitions is accurate. And experts aren’t the only ones who are confused: Although studies suggest that the drug flibanserin could be the new “female Viagra,” the FDA recently declined to approve its use for FSD. In one 2010 study from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, researchers found that women with low sexual desire who took the medication for 6 months had an 18 percent improvement in their libido. But the FDA rejected flibanserin just a month later, saying it failed to completely prove efficacy in treating FSD.

Some critics say we shouldn’t be “medicalizing” sex at all and don’t need a pill to treat a condition that may be “all in her head.” After all, lots of women often simply aren’t in the mood for sex, or are distracted by life’s stresses, or just need to start using lubricant. That doesn’t mean they’re dysfunctional. In fact, it may just mean they’re normal: To that end, sex researcher Rosemarie Basson has proposed a new framework for thinking about female sexual response, one that places the importance of emotional intimacy and relationship satisfaction at its center. Basson’s framework contends that female sexual arousal is more complex than a male’s and depends more intensely on factors such as relationship satisfaction, self-esteem, and previous sexual experiences.

To me, the issue of FSD isn’t black and white. Sure, FSD isn’t as physically obvious as male sexual problems: Viagra works by increasing blood flow to the penis, giving a man an erection, while flibanserin appears to affect the neurotransmitters (chemical messengers) in a woman’s brain that influence desire. But that doesn’t mean that FSD doesn’t have a physiological component. Side effects of medications (including some antidepressants, blood pressure drugs, and birth-control pills), shifting levels of hormones, stress and anxiety, obesity, and conditions including diabetes and multiple sclerosis can all lower a woman’s desire. So FSD—if it indeed exists—isn’t simply perception, just as it’s not solely physical. My guess is that’s a combination of brain and body—although whether a drug can effectively treat FSD remains unseen. Emily Nagoski, the author of The Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms, says, “There’s no such thing as a sexual dysfunction that’s 'all in your head.' Neither is there a sexual dysfunction that’s 'all in your vagina.' There is only the embodied mind. Thus education and behavioral training change physiology.”

Ladies: 5 ways to feel sexy again

In the meantime, there’s no reason why women who want to want sex should suffer with low desire. Prescription testosterone cream may help boost desire women who have low levels of this important sex hormone, as can devices such as the Eros device, which uses a gentle vaccuum pump to stimulate blood flow to the genitals. And don’t discount all the “natural” ways that both women and men can increase sexual desire, from trying new things between the sheets to increasing intimacy outside the bedroom.


soundoff (534 Responses)
  1. Romantic

    Jane is talking about little bit massaging firs, then breast feeding, running the fingers over the hair, and listen to make sure the heartbeat and breathing goes up. Once it reaches the peak – strike the iron while it is hot. Don’t do it like chickens.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:11 | Report abuse | Reply
    • big John

      Ahhhhhhh Yawn.

      February 3, 2011 at 13:58 | Report abuse |
    • Meek

      haha.. i like to do it like chickens, and like small game hens. maybe its just me but

      February 3, 2011 at 14:30 | Report abuse |
    • hunnykins

      Oh my! Excuse me – "Honey! I need you!" Bye folks ; )

      February 3, 2011 at 18:34 | Report abuse |
  2. jj

    | Report abuse |Reply | Like(987189017189718917171071890) |

    February 3, 2011 at 13:11 | Report abuse | Reply
    • iduna

      it would seem your afraid of the truth and thing that you don't agree with.

      February 3, 2011 at 14:08 | Report abuse |
  3. SurferGirl

    ...and I rest my case...

    February 3, 2011 at 13:12 | Report abuse | Reply
  4. Always Amused

    I think your post reflects your poor choice of male partners! Some men are just as self-centered as you assume, but most are not! Maybe you should re-evaluate your criteria for choosing partners!

    February 3, 2011 at 13:13 | Report abuse | Reply
  5. EE

    YES!!! Alright!!! Another, "Let's blame everything on men because I do not want to take responsibility for my own problems.” Men are this, men are that! I don’t think the problem is men. I think maybe if you abandon your daddy issues and insecurities you will meet a polite, honest and suitable man. The way you say ‘most men’ in your posts leads me to believe you have been with A LOT of them. That indicates to me that you have no trouble jumping from one relationship to another. You sound very co-dependent. Quit trying to find happiness in others and look for it within yourself...

    February 3, 2011 at 13:14 | Report abuse | Reply
  6. SurferGirl

    There seems to be a great deal of defensive men here today. I think that Jane was simply trying to say that you need to take your time with a women, I mean...if you care whether or not we orgasm or not. We are different. Let's face it. We are emotionally driven, not visually driven like most men. Most women do not think like men and vice versa. You can't just throw us on our backs and hope that we enjoy it. Jane, thanks for posting your comment. Nice to see an intelligent answer in a cloud of ignorance.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:16 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Robert

      Who cares what Jane was really trying to say. Jane wants to talk to me, show respect. All human beings deserve respect, so Jane can go get bent, I don't care what she was trying to say, and I don't know why you do either.

      February 3, 2011 at 13:21 | Report abuse |
    • ReasonWhyImSingle

      Yea, insulting men and claiming how ignorant we are would never make anyone defensive. Good job there Einstien.

      February 3, 2011 at 13:23 | Report abuse |
    • SurferGirl

      You are absolutely correct. I'm sorry I offended you by calling most of these comments ignorant (not the people themselves). I apologise for making you feel insulted since it wasn't my intention...especially since I do not know you. I did not mean to make you feel personally attacked.

      February 3, 2011 at 13:32 | Report abuse |
    • Venus

      Jane never said men were ignorant. Clueless maybe, but not ignorant.

      February 3, 2011 at 14:12 | Report abuse |
  7. EmeraldCity

    No, I have too much sympathy for others.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:17 | Report abuse | Reply
  8. Andrew

    some women will benefit from this, some would benefit from a more skilled partner.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:19 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Clinton

      It doesn't mean how many different ways you try, at the end she is going to complaint. "When we are sad, she is glad. When we are deep in sorrow she is joyous. Such a life a woman leads."

      February 3, 2011 at 15:05 | Report abuse |
  9. vellocet

    Jane is right and the men here are far too defensive.

    The truth is that women can't really tell you what they want... they need you to know.

    Yes... it sounds ridiculous, but that's part of how to arouse them. It's like ballroom dance. The man leads but it's up to him to read where she wants to be lead and not be lead. If he tries to do a spin and she doesn't want to spin that way, it's up to the man to "read" it and try a different move. If the woman tells the man she wants to be spun a different way... then she's leading and the dance falls apart.

    It's amazing how a simple thing like the sound "Mmmmmmmm" can have an incredible effect when properly timed.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:21 | Report abuse | Reply
  10. Pat

    Until the "art" telephathy is perfected, there is no way for a man to know what the hell a woman wants....

    February 3, 2011 at 13:21 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Ed

      Pat, Buy her an expensive piece of jewelry, take her to an expensive restaurant and then take her to a club. She will have a couple of orgasms after that.

      February 3, 2011 at 17:30 | Report abuse |
  11. MoDee

    We've had the cure for FSD for thousands of years – it's called ALCOHOL! 😉

    February 3, 2011 at 13:22 | Report abuse | Reply
    • ReasonWhyImSingle

      Brilliant. LOL

      February 3, 2011 at 13:25 | Report abuse |
  12. howard

    response to SurferGirl.
    i agree...some time on your back and some time on the tummy.
    i'm liking you more now that you've expressed such hot scenes!

    February 3, 2011 at 13:22 | Report abuse | Reply
  13. kleiner delphin

    What are the side effects of this testosterone cream? (No funny answers, now!)

    February 3, 2011 at 13:23 | Report abuse | Reply
  14. Tom

    What she says is, shake the bottle before use.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:23 | Report abuse | Reply
  15. Publius 13

    I think Jane is playing with us.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:24 | Report abuse | Reply
  16. Jared

    "Women just don’t show clear-cut physical signals when they’re aroused."??? uuuuuhhhh what about getting wet? that isnt a clear-cut physical sign? This woman will say anything to prove her point

    February 3, 2011 at 13:24 | Report abuse | Reply
    • chickenfoot

      Not all women get wet when aroused. Women can get wet when not aroused as well. She's right – it is not clear cut.

      February 3, 2011 at 14:04 | Report abuse |
    • Too Many Hats

      And if the woman is undergoing hormonal changes (i.e. perimenopause, post-natal, etc.) she may not get wet at all. Dryness is a common problem for women with hormone imbalances.

      February 3, 2011 at 20:14 | Report abuse |
  17. EricO

    This woman is sad I sincerely hope you stop dating that drug dealer off the street but personally I'll just get back to my relationship since yours is clearly something you bitterly love to hate

    February 3, 2011 at 13:25 | Report abuse | Reply
  18. PseudoSage

    Heh. You know I always thought it was a stereotype, but I guess other men don't know how to take care of business. Here's a hint guys: girls like oral too! C'mon, I wanna see you dudes wearing your girls thighs like earmuffs!

    February 3, 2011 at 13:25 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Lee

      Yeah, but that's a two way street. I'll do it all day but some reciprocation would be nice too.

      February 3, 2011 at 13:47 | Report abuse |
  19. Andrew

    I can see it now, men will be slipping girls the pink pill on dates. Nooooow to find some.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:27 | Report abuse | Reply
  20. iduna

    The true facts of it are that men don't care. Women are meant to be used and thrown away like a dirty tissue. That's truth. Men want to get in, get off, and get out. Its always been that way and just because women are looking for a free ride with someone to love, nurture, and pay their ways doesn't mean that that's the way it is. Get a grip girls. As far a men go, they just want you to put out and shut up. Truth might hurt a little.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:28 | Report abuse | Reply
    • SurferGirl

      You are really itching for a combative response, aren't you?

      February 3, 2011 at 13:38 | Report abuse |
    • dave

      I think with you they just want you to shut up.

      February 3, 2011 at 13:48 | Report abuse |
  21. Sherry

    I am a 48 yr old female and have notice in the past year that I am not naturally lubricating anymore when I'm aroused. After discussing my concerns with my husband I noticed that, without saying anything else, he has begun taking more time with foreplay then before. Smart man? I think so. It has helped a great deal!

    February 3, 2011 at 13:32 | Report abuse | Reply
    • BobR

      Astroglide. Loads of Astroglide. Who's got that kind of free time?

      February 3, 2011 at 20:13 | Report abuse |
  22. Venus

    I've been married to the same guy for 27 years and at this point a trained monkey could take my place and do what we do in bed. And frankly, I wish one would. The Blue Pill is he downfall of civilization. Before, the Thing died a natural death when the time was right and now IT goes on far beyond the time that anyone has any use for it. Unless your name is Hugh Hefner and even then, who wants to touch his 200 year old piece of wood.

    Jane really hit a nerve with a lot of guys.

    Bet this doesn't get posted..

    February 3, 2011 at 13:33 | Report abuse | Reply
    • The Don

      Venus
      The women on the post have not had their toes curled up. There are a lot of women that make that b##ty call a 3am in the morning and get can't get enough. Sorry for the 27 years of monkey business.

      February 3, 2011 at 13:43 | Report abuse |
    • EmeraldCity

      I'm glad it did get posted because I got a laugh out of it.

      February 3, 2011 at 13:46 | Report abuse |
    • The Don

      You women don't want to see that the problem is both ways with men and women. Some men do not take to me to discover how to touch you and in some case some women don't know their own body and can not tell a man what she like. The end result is a man getting his climax and leave you.

      February 3, 2011 at 13:48 | Report abuse |
  23. Bugsy

    vellocet -

    ... yeah right, just read their minds... else they'll btch and moan like Jane. Good luck with that strategy!.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:34 | Report abuse | Reply
  24. JonC

    testing comments.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:34 | Report abuse | Reply
  25. mike

    Vellocet wrote: "The truth is that women can't really tell you what they want... they need you to know."

    This is unmitigated misandrist garbage.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:36 | Report abuse | Reply
  26. JustListen

    It's all about communication. Men ask, "Why just not tell us what you woman what?" But have you actually been there during the moment and simply asked "Is this good?" "Are you comfortable?" If you are that man that takes time to ask and listen then I applaud you. If you aren't and simply take what you want, then you’re just being greedy and aren't satisfying your woman. Same goes for women, don't be shy and tell your man what you want and how you would like to be pleasured. Like I said it's all about listening and communication. Try it, see if it works!!

    February 3, 2011 at 13:37 | Report abuse | Reply
    • MoodyMoody

      And if you don't feel comfortable talking about what you like in bed with your partner, maybe he/she shouldn't be your partner. Whatever happened to getting to know someone before getting laid?

      February 3, 2011 at 19:15 | Report abuse |
  27. JonC

    Curious, my comment questioning the business priorities of drug companies was held back. Wonder what code words could possible hold back a comment involved female orgasms.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:37 | Report abuse | Reply
    • chickenfoot

      Mine were held back too! I guess insulting drug companies is a no-no on CNN blogs?

      February 3, 2011 at 13:59 | Report abuse |
  28. Sybaris

    Jane, the Hallmark channel is not reality.
    Disney is not reality.
    Throw away all the stuffed animals in your bedroom and grow up.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:37 | Report abuse | Reply
  29. Cobo

    Yeah and when you ask them what they need they shut down and don't say anything. Take it from a nice guy, sometimes women prefer to be treated harshly because if you are too nice then you are deemed a wimp or something.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:38 | Report abuse | Reply
    • JustListen

      Try to communicate outside of the bedroom...have a sit down convo and let them know, they need to speak up. No need to be harsh with them...some women are just scared and dont know what to do or want. That's why communication is the key!

      February 3, 2011 at 14:18 | Report abuse |
    • B

      Agreed. I know a lot of women that loved it when I just take it like I own it.

      February 3, 2011 at 16:31 | Report abuse |
  30. bubbagump

    get off your high horse and go get laid

    February 3, 2011 at 13:39 | Report abuse | Reply
  31. Cobo

    Yeah and when you ask them what they want they shut down and don't say anything. Take it from a nice guy, you are better off treating them a bit harshly because if you are too nice they think you are a wimp.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:40 | Report abuse | Reply
  32. Merewyn

    To Jane, and everyone who's posted after her...

    You can't lump "women" into a giant group and expect to please every woman in the same way. Just like with men, different things turn different people on.

    If you want satisfaction in bed, you have to know what turns you on, know what you like, and communicate that to your partner.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:41 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Common Sensical

      Word. If you don't trust someone enough to tell them what you want or if you don't know at least try stuff and have fun until you figure it out, then holy crap, you probably shouldn't be sleeping with them.

      February 3, 2011 at 15:13 | Report abuse |
  33. denj

    Any most women know what men want? Just because men get "there" easier than women doesn't mean women have us figured out. True to form, we have women stating men's deficiencies yet not seeing the same thing in themselves.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:41 | Report abuse | Reply
  34. Elaine

    it's so funny that most of the guys comment here, you can tell man are really are selfish, at least most of them.. just reading these comment make me sad "sigh"....

    February 3, 2011 at 13:44 | Report abuse | Reply
    • ThoughtfulDood

      I don't think they're selfish so much as emotionally stunted. Analytical personalities are often not so good on the emotional intelligence side of things. This is why they say: "Tell me what to do, tell me how you feel" Because they simply have no clue you were mad or sad or whatever. Many men are this way, but some women are too... and vice versa. I'm a guy who has a very high emotional IQ, but have never been 'tough' or aggressive. I think women need to understand that if they want a manly man, he's likely to be bad at reading you. Either choose one of us artist/writer men who know how to talk about feelings or deal with the manly man as he is.

      February 3, 2011 at 14:08 | Report abuse |
  35. vellocet

    Mike:

    I'm sorry... saying that they want us to read their minds is not exactly what I wanted to say.

    Women ARE telling us... but they're telling us non-verbally. They want us to be able to read non-verbal cues. To men who don't know how to do this (a LOT of us) it seems like they want us to read their minds.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:45 | Report abuse | Reply
  36. Jules

    What's sad is the men responding defensively here because they really don't know what they're doing with women in bed. Their insecurity keeps them from learning and asking women questions when the lights are off, so they just focus on pleasing themselves (bc they're too screed of failing). Really confident men will ask you as they go... And they probably don't feel the need to even read this article so we won't be hearing from many of them here.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:46 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Will

      You're generalizing a bit. Some women have a hard time opening up about what feels good to them or what they want a man to do. In that situation a guy is pretty much out of luck.

      February 3, 2011 at 14:10 | Report abuse |
  37. sciman45

    Maybe the researchers will one day find why I ( a male) haven't had an orgasm in more than 10 years after taking SSRIs, even after quitting them.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:46 | Report abuse | Reply
    • researcher

      Are you sure you're doing it right?

      February 3, 2011 at 14:32 | Report abuse |
    • Anongirl30

      I have had permanent side-effects from them, too. They are very powerful drugs. If a person really needs them, I believe in their use, and I'd take them again, if I felt suicidal, but yeah, there is no telling what they will do to your body in the long-term.
      I hope you can find a solution.

      February 4, 2011 at 08:37 | Report abuse |
  38. LOL

    Folks...I can assure you, either you will get old or die young.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:47 | Report abuse | Reply
  39. mike

    So, basically, here's what Jane wants: men to love insecure and neurotic women, throwing standards to the wind and having no expectation of reciprocated maturity.

    Good luck with that.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:47 | Report abuse | Reply
  40. Duane

    Jane, I've seen your movies with Tarzan, perhaps try someone a bit more refined.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:48 | Report abuse | Reply
  41. Merewyn

    As I responded to your other post... women aren't all alike. If you want to be satisfied, you have to communicate. What makes one woman happy may frustrate another.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:48 | Report abuse | Reply
  42. Duane

    Jane,
    I've seen your movies with Tarzan, perhaps try someone a bit more refined 🙂

    February 3, 2011 at 13:50 | Report abuse | Reply
  43. Gynocologist by trade

    @Elaine. I bet you're ugly...

    February 3, 2011 at 13:50 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Elaine

      I bet your gay...

      February 3, 2011 at 13:54 | Report abuse |
    • Woman

      Typical guy response....

      February 3, 2011 at 17:11 | Report abuse |
  44. Jangocat

    Sounds like another excuse to promote drug sales.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:51 | Report abuse | Reply
  45. Joe in Colorado

    I have never, ever, ever been with a girl who didn't orgasm the first time and nearly every time. My last girlfriend apologized two minutes into our first time and said "oh my god, I'm sorry... wow".

    That said– I'm usually the one who doesn't "get there". I can stay hard as a rock for a good hour and more, just don't always orgasm. I think that's okay– it's like spending a day on a beautiful hike with one another on a warm spring day; stop here to smell these gorgeous flowers, or go over there and climb a tree, or peeked behind some bushes to watch a baby deer drink from the stream– but maybe you didn't make it to the very top of the mountain. That's okay, it was still an amazing time.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:52 | Report abuse | Reply
    • anishinabe

      reading to many magazines

      February 3, 2011 at 15:16 | Report abuse |
    • Tiffany in Colorado

      Joe's full of it. I had the "pleasure" of being with him once. It was the worst 20 seconds of my life. My girlfriends and I call him "2 pump Joe". He just pounds away like it's an Olympic sport or something. Oh, and don't even get me started on the (lack of) size...

      February 3, 2011 at 16:17 | Report abuse |
    • Joe in Colorado

      😉

      February 3, 2011 at 17:14 | Report abuse |
    • Joe in Colorado

      ; )

      February 3, 2011 at 17:15 | Report abuse |
    • A bellydancer

      Nice....a nice map to tantric pleasures
      Your wording was eloquently put
      We women can be very very lucky as even if we orgasm quickly...we can again again and again....some of us that is

      February 3, 2011 at 17:12 | Report abuse |
    • numbnut

      Yeah, right. They ALL had orgasisms, huh? Sure buddy. Remember the Seinfeld episonde...fake, fake, fake, fake.

      February 3, 2011 at 17:28 | Report abuse |
  46. bill

    are you gonna be my girl?

    February 3, 2011 at 13:52 | Report abuse | Reply
  47. mike

    Jane's entire argument flies in the face of gender equality.

    Like the other guy said, stop watching Lifetime and Hallmark Channel and start behaving like a normal human being. You're not a princess.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:52 | Report abuse | Reply
  48. Molotov

    By nature, the female is not required to orgasm in order for reproduction and continuation of the human race. It's the male's task to orgasm. Expecting a female to orgasm as easily (and with as much pleasure) as a male is just preposterous.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:53 | Report abuse | Reply
    • chickenfoot

      Exactly. Thank you.

      February 3, 2011 at 13:58 | Report abuse |
    • sugar

      I'm oretty sure my orgasms are just as intense as my boyfriend's are. And women may not "need" to orgasm in order to reproduce, it sure as hell makes me a lot more interested in "reproducing" 😉

      February 3, 2011 at 16:43 | Report abuse |
    • spikette

      actually, womens org*sm increases odds of pregnancy. so nature does like....

      February 26, 2011 at 09:00 | Report abuse |
  49. Jules

    And you're right, we DO have to drink to get aroused by you MoDee, bc you're sooooooo predictable and boring :/

    February 3, 2011 at 13:53 | Report abuse | Reply
  50. Joe in Colorado

    ...I have never, ever, ever been with a girl who didn't orgasm the first time and nearly every time. My last girlfriend apologized two minutes into our first time and said "oh my god, I'm sorry... wow".

    That said– I'm usually the one who doesn't "get there". I can stay hard as a rock for a good hour and more, just don't always orgasm. I think that's okay– it's like spending a day on a beautiful hike with one another on a warm spring day; stop here to smell these gorgeous flowers, or go over there and climb a tree, or peeked behind some bushes to watch a baby deer drink from the stream– but maybe you didn't make it to the very top of the mountain. That's okay, it was still an amazing time.

    February 3, 2011 at 13:53 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Venus

      "I have never, ever, ever been with a girl who didn't orgasm the first time and nearly every time."

      Hah! That's what you think. Ever watch Meg Ryan's performance in When Harry Met Sally? She's spot on.

      February 3, 2011 at 14:06 | Report abuse |
    • C Men

      Joe's a legend in his own mind.

      February 3, 2011 at 14:46 | Report abuse |
    • BigRed

      Hey Venus
      Yeah I saw that when I was younger and read about the faking "it" in many other places and now I never believe a womans moans, screams, what have you. Matter of fact when it happens, I immediately start to distrust her and it actually turns me right off. Now isn't that nice to have to live with!
      Most women are just soo uptight with "down there" they can't begin to tell you what feels good.

      February 3, 2011 at 15:12 | Report abuse |
    • B

      Joe you the man. Venus you suck. I know everytime when my girl is close to getting off. Or any girl to be exact. When the hoo ha tightens up and their body starts to shrivel you just know. My girl doesn't even have to tell me not to stop. I honestly can say I know when she is about to and I keep the rythm. My girl has also gotten off from just giving me oral. Because she loves it and she gets off on making me feel good. And on top of that she has even gotten off from watching me get off. I just treat her good and give her attention. That's all it really takes. The rest will just happen.

      February 3, 2011 at 16:39 | Report abuse |
    • Joe in Colorado

      It's not faking when she comes, blushes, laughs, and says "Oh my god, did I just squirt??", and eases right back down on there.

      February 3, 2011 at 17:13 | Report abuse |
    • spikette

      healthy perspective. some women it is very easy.... certain age, things seem to change, but up until then, may not take much

      February 26, 2011 at 09:02 | Report abuse |
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