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How porn is changing our sex lives
January 20th, 2011
08:12 AM ET

How porn is changing our sex lives

Ian Kerner is a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him at his website, GoodInBed.

Porn, schmorn.

I don’t care what anybody says, real sex with a real person is better than porn any day of the week.  At Good in Bed, we believe that porn is the equivalent of professional wrestling: phony and superficial. It’s like subsisting on a junk-food diet of Gummi bears and Gatorade when you could be having a gourmet meal.

But when you’re living la vida loca, there isn’t always time for a balanced meal, and for lots of guys, that’s where porn comes in. It’s easy, it’s lazy, it’s fun, and, oh yeah, it’s there. It’s always right there—even when we don’t want it to be.

By my estimate, men are masturbating 50 to 500% more than they would normally without Internet porn. So if a guy normally masturbated once a day, he might now be doing it two or three times a day. If he masturbated three times a week, he might now be getting graphic with his graphics 15 times a week.

Ian, Joy Behar, others talk online porn

If you’re 17 and single, this might not be a problem. But if you’re 40 and toting a gut, it’s an issue—a real issue. Some guys may still feel mentally like they’re 17 years old, but they can’t have sex that way. Their bodies have changed and so have their refractory periods, the natural interval between erections.

As a result, today’s woman faces more challenges to her sexual satisfaction than ever before. An increasing number of men are suffering from a syndrome I’ve dubbed Sexual Attention Deficit Disorder. Just as people with real ADD tend to be easily distracted, guys with SADD have become so accustomed to the high levels of visual novelty and stimulation that Internet porn provides that they’re unable to focus on real sex with a real woman. Men with SADD tend to find themselves getting bored or impatient during sex, and suffering from mechanical “male-functions”: They may be physiologically aroused and even have an erection, but they’re not at peak mental arousal. Guys with SADD may also simply lack the mojo for real sex because they’re depleted from masturbation. They’re not running on a full tank, physically, mentally, and certainly not sexually.

It’s a SADD state of affairs and this new world order of porn doesn’t show any signs of changing. My guess is that we’re just seeing the tip of the iceberg in terms of the myriad ways porn will alter the landscape of our love lives. Porn’s not just an issue, or a problem, or a quick release, it’s part of a major shift in our sexual mores. Just as the sexual revolution led to"The Joy of Sex," and "Sex and the City" led to the mainstreaming of the Rabbit vibrator, my prediction is that Internet porn will affect everything in our sex lives.  That’s for better or for worse—and it doesn’t have to be for worse.

After all, masturbation is a healthy activity. When couples are in good relationships, they actually tend to masturbate more than when they’re not. Masturbation is not something people do just because we’re “not getting any”—it’s something we do because it’s human and healthy. In fact, when people stop masturbating, it’s generally a bad sign: It can mean they’re depressed or have a health problem. Given this, in a healthy relationship, there’s nothing wrong with porn, either. And when couples share porn together, it can make them even more excited about sex with each other and be a strong bonding experience.

Porn can also be a healthy way of exploring forbidden taboos. Fantasies are fantasies for a reason—because they’re not real. Porn provides a venue to explore things that you normally don’t get to explore. People should not be judged on the porn they enjoy, and there isn’t always a direct relationship between the stuff we look at and the stuff we actually want to try.

Of course, that’s little comfort to a woman who’s concerned about her male partner’s use of porn. She may have a lot questions about her guy’s porn use: Is he into something really kinky, does he want me to look different, should I be performing, etc. In truth, a guy often isn’t thinking any of these things—he’s just enjoying some porn and that’s about it. But if these silent questions build over time they can really damage a relationship.

Once couples start discussing porn, it’s a stimulus to their relationship—to sharing fantasies, talking about likes and dislikes, and more. Also, it doesn’t hurt to remember that there was a time before porn, or at least when porn was not so easily accessible to the average person. Sure, guys turned to magazines or videos. But they also relied on their imaginations and their erotic memories. To me, that is one of the biggest downsides of porn. So consider taking a break from porn and letting your imagination be your guide—you might be surprised where it takes you. If you have a question about porn and how it’s affecting your relationship, please visit our expert forum at Good in Bed, where we will answer your individual questions.


soundoff (223 Responses)
  1. larry

    Article fails to mention that the majority of women WILL NEVER sleep with you again if this EVER happens.

    January 20, 2011 at 08:46 | Report abuse |
    • mike

      The majority of women will just have to accept the fact that I wasn't going to sleep with them in any event.

      January 20, 2011 at 08:49 | Report abuse |
    • Michael Wong

      Larry, you're just spouting hot air. The article (written by a therapist) actually points out that couples who share it together can mutually enjoy it and use it as an avenue to explore taboos, improve communication, and actually get closer.

      January 20, 2011 at 09:25 | Report abuse |
    • Wzrd1

      Bleh, my wife and I enjoy watching some movies from my collection, zero problem. Some times, we'll watch a show, others we go get to it.
      But then, while we did not write the Kama Sutra, we DID add a few chapters to it over our over 29 years of marriage.
      And it ALL started real simple, we TALKED to each other and still do.
      Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for a nooner and we have to figure out whose turn it is to hang from the ceiling fan...

      January 20, 2011 at 11:13 | Report abuse |
    • DYLANSDADDY

      My wife and I watch it together. Sometimes we she will watch it by herself or I will too. Its a great tool for when you are not on the same s exual schedule.

      January 20, 2011 at 11:32 | Report abuse |
    • jivetalker

      B.S.

      January 20, 2011 at 13:09 | Report abuse |
    • SA-spouse

      Wrong assumption Larry, give us more credit than that.

      January 20, 2011 at 14:57 | Report abuse |
    • Thagerm

      I must be missing something what is the "this" you are talking about?

      January 20, 2011 at 15:48 | Report abuse |
  2. Meh

    But think of all the healthier prostates out there.
    Theres nothing like the feel or real but at least the internet will never nag you...unless you were dumb enough to pay for something.

    January 20, 2011 at 09:09 | Report abuse |
    • C. Smith

      Ah, but it also introduces a whole new realm of STDs: the digital kind. Enjoy your Trojan, just don't get a trojan.

      January 20, 2011 at 11:00 | Report abuse |
    • tommas

      Bullseye... if we waited for women our risk of prostate cancer would go up by 33%

      January 20, 2011 at 11:28 | Report abuse |
    • Daaa

      To MadCityBabe, well thanks for warning us guys and now pls post your real name so we can avoid you.

      January 20, 2011 at 13:18 | Report abuse |
    • Ryan

      Amen Meh!

      January 20, 2011 at 15:36 | Report abuse |
    • Thagerm

      I am guessing she is Mad and lives in the City, but Babe? Me thinks not...To much angst and the loose quote from Far and Away tells me she likely owns more than two cats.

      January 20, 2011 at 15:52 | Report abuse |
  3. Crystal

    yeah...I disagree

    January 20, 2011 at 09:25 | Report abuse |
    • steveo

      I do as well, but probably for different reasons.

      January 20, 2011 at 11:16 | Report abuse |
  4. Jon

    Could someone give me a list of UNforbidden taboos so I won't feel guilty about doing them? 🙂

    January 20, 2011 at 09:39 | Report abuse |
    • MadCityBabe

      awe, such a cute comment..............you go for it sweetie....it's all relevant anyway!

      January 20, 2011 at 12:00 | Report abuse |
    • Katie

      If it was un-forbidden it wouldn't be taboo. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it, but just that people have a pre-conceived notion about it.

      January 20, 2011 at 13:30 | Report abuse |
    • ummm

      Katie..comedy is not your strong suit huh?

      January 20, 2011 at 17:05 | Report abuse |
  5. Todd

    This is just the sad rationalizations of selfish losers.

    January 20, 2011 at 10:32 | Report abuse |
    • JSR

      what is "this"?

      January 20, 2011 at 10:51 | Report abuse |
    • kjcube

      you mean SADD rationalizations don't you 🙂

      January 20, 2011 at 10:54 | Report abuse |
  6. ApeHanger

    What a bunch of BS!

    January 20, 2011 at 10:41 | Report abuse |
  7. robert saint amour

    it is no wonder the world looks at american priorities and laughs

    January 20, 2011 at 10:42 | Report abuse |
    • BR

      riiiiiiight...because Americans are the only ones into this.

      January 20, 2011 at 10:52 | Report abuse |
    • Ed

      BR, you are really showing your ignorance.

      January 20, 2011 at 12:07 | Report abuse |
  8. eduardz

    fashizzle

    January 20, 2011 at 10:42 | Report abuse |
  9. Flynn

    Maybe if the majority of married American women lost some weight (50% for most) it would be less of an issue. Is this a problem in, say, Italy or France? Probably not.

    January 20, 2011 at 10:44 | Report abuse |
    • yuck

      Maybe if most married men lost a good 50 pounds we would want to get it on. Nothing attractive about a big fat beer belly. Gross. I'd rather go without.

      January 20, 2011 at 10:52 | Report abuse |
    • Sabrina

      Flynn, I hope you are being sarcastic. You do realize that 2/3's of ALL americans, including both men and women are overweight, right? It is ignorant to suggest that women lose half of their body weight to satisfy some crazy fantasy you might have. I hope you don't have any daughters, otherwise they are doomed to have body image issues.

      January 20, 2011 at 10:57 | Report abuse |
    • Frank Opinion

      I concur with Flynn entirely.

      I am in a relationship with a woman I care about deeply. But, she's double her ideal size and weight. I need some hot visual images to keep me going in times of marital duty.

      January 20, 2011 at 11:00 | Report abuse |
    • Thedude

      I love my beer gut...

      January 20, 2011 at 11:05 | Report abuse |
    • nepawoods

      @Sabrina: "2/3's of ALL americans, including both men and women are overweight" ... Only by a very ridiculous standard. Granted, Americans (and the people of most affluent societies) are, on average, overweight, but the standards out there for what is "normal" expect us all to be beanpoles. Someone like, for instance, Obama, would be classified as overweight.

      January 20, 2011 at 11:12 | Report abuse |
    • Health Teach

      nepawoods, you're way off base...

      The health standards are actually very generous with respect to weight and quite different from the media's ridiculous model standards. It is, in my humble opinion, the disparity between the two that causes the problem. Additionally, we have so many morbidly obese people in the US that "regular obese" people think they're thin by comparison. They are NOT!?!

      January 20, 2011 at 11:40 | Report abuse |
    • courtside

      Obama would be classified as over weight? No, if someone is classified as overweight its because they are fat.

      And mr author... have you tried to use your imagination. it sucks

      January 20, 2011 at 11:44 | Report abuse |
    • big John

      Hey Yuck, when I get excited my beer belly all turns to penis.

      January 20, 2011 at 11:55 | Report abuse |
    • kz

      perhaps the trucks of those in utero elephants should be a bit longer so they can reach past their ineutro their voluptuous lovers...

      January 20, 2011 at 12:17 | Report abuse |
    • VH

      ill loose it when he does. ass

      January 20, 2011 at 12:24 | Report abuse |
    • c0rr0sive

      Maybe if people stopped focusing on only looks, the world would be better off, but, yet again, every single person is a shallow slob.

      January 20, 2011 at 13:05 | Report abuse |
    • mike

      People that deny that Americans are too fat are in...well...DENIAL.

      I've been to Europe, and Flynn is right: on average people are much thinner and more attractive. Even places like Italy where carbs are everywhere.

      It's not just Americans. Canada and Australia have a lot of chubsters, too.

      January 20, 2011 at 13:21 | Report abuse |
    • Elizabeth

      Like a lot of the men don't have such big guts that they can't find their equipment.

      January 20, 2011 at 14:25 | Report abuse |
    • weblover

      Right on flyn fat ugly chics (lots of0 I to turn to man best friend WEB BABY!!!!

      January 20, 2011 at 15:26 | Report abuse |
    • mrs mia wallace

      Whether your a man or a woman, don't expect your partner to still be attacted to you if you don't take care of yourself.

      January 20, 2011 at 16:20 | Report abuse |
  10. Frank

    Giggity, giggity goo!!

    January 20, 2011 at 10:48 | Report abuse |
    • kjcube

      all right!

      January 20, 2011 at 10:56 | Report abuse |
    • dave

      Oh!

      January 20, 2011 at 11:26 | Report abuse |
    • Quagmire

      Ohhh Yeahhh!!!

      January 20, 2011 at 12:42 | Report abuse |
    • Bam!

      preg-nant!!

      January 20, 2011 at 17:41 | Report abuse |
  11. BR

    ...'the equivalent of professional wrestling: phony and superficial'...Precisely the kind that does nothing for me. There are a whole myriad of other kinds that are nothing like that description. The videos that really do it for me show real, average people having real relations with real reactions. There are many out there now of women pleasuring themselves where they are only shown from the neck up. Few things as beautiful as an attractive woman in the genuine throes. Meg Ryan didn't even come close.

    January 20, 2011 at 10:49 | Report abuse |
    • DYLANSDADDY

      Totally agree

      January 20, 2011 at 11:46 | Report abuse |
  12. Larry

    You wrote all this crap based on "your estimate". How scientific and professional of you.

    January 20, 2011 at 10:54 | Report abuse |
  13. JC

    Interesting, but baseless opinion.

    January 20, 2011 at 11:00 | Report abuse |
  14. Thedude

    You clearly mean "My husband and I" right?

    January 20, 2011 at 11:08 | Report abuse |
  15. Mike Rotch

    Different strokes for different folks.

    January 20, 2011 at 11:13 | Report abuse |
  16. Frank Opinion

    AMerican women have extremely unrealistic expectations. Generations of girls bought up to believe they will be Cinderella princesses, and demanding high wage earners, devoted husbands, expensive cars, accoutrements and vacations, big house and status items. With them it is all about 'me, me, me.'

    Work on yourself, be less superficial, please your partner, don't be hideous. Then you might deserve all of the attention.

    January 20, 2011 at 11:14 | Report abuse |
    • Keith

      Spot on. Foreign women make excellent girlfriends and wives. I prefer European and Latin, but even Canadian women take better care for themselves and are less of prima donnas than the Amerians.

      January 20, 2011 at 11:24 | Report abuse |
    • bb

      Right on Frank, your opinion seems to be truth. I want to look like Brad Pit, drive Lambo's and have 8 vacation homes. The kind of women I am attracted to, want this as well. I can only do my best! I'm not Brad Pitt, but I'm not some loser either ladies! Let's get real about our Fantasy/Reality spectrum.

      January 20, 2011 at 12:30 | Report abuse |
    • Jessica

      Seems as though your opinions come from watching hours of The Kardashians... I'm not sure I actually know any unrealistic, hideous princesses irl. Now, mysoginistic egotistical trolls, maybe... LOL

      January 20, 2011 at 12:58 | Report abuse |
    • mike

      MadCityBabe, would you want to date a fat, slobbish mate with a selfish personality and no aspirations? No? Newsflash: neither do men.

      January 20, 2011 at 13:27 | Report abuse |
    • melissa

      Wait a minute Frank. We "Women" are not all "Princess" material. Be nice. I think I'm attractive, take care of myself, 5'3" 112 lbs. caring, giving, hard worker, ask for nothing, want nothing and live in my means. If people could learn to first love themselves selflessly, appreciate what they have, give and live by moderation I think this world would be a happier place.

      January 20, 2011 at 13:48 | Report abuse |
  17. Mike Hunt

    Live in France. They are all skinny hotties, into their 40s and beyond.

    January 20, 2011 at 11:16 | Report abuse |
    • courtside

      lol

      January 20, 2011 at 11:46 | Report abuse |
    • Larry Lupus

      yeah, but too bad they look like monkeys under their arms

      January 20, 2011 at 12:09 | Report abuse |
    • Gone Or Eah?

      @Larry Lupus

      Clearly you have never left the US.

      January 20, 2011 at 14:15 | Report abuse |
  18. Mike Hunt

    Well played, Dude! This aggression will not stand, man.

    And that rug really tied the room together....

    January 20, 2011 at 11:17 | Report abuse |
  19. Hand Solo

    Please don't divulge all of my secrets, CNN.

    A man needs his personal time.

    January 20, 2011 at 11:24 | Report abuse |
  20. JerkyBoys

    Load of BS.

    Sometimes you just want to take care of things yourself. You don't want to have to worry about taking care of someone else too. Nothing wrong with some flicks helping out. How many of you can just spontaneously get it up and finish just by thinking about it? I really doubt many.

    More people trying to tell everyone else to do what they think their opinion on how things should be.

    January 20, 2011 at 11:27 | Report abuse |
    • DYLANSDADDY

      A good imagination can go far, or even a good memory. What do you do if the power is off?

      January 20, 2011 at 11:55 | Report abuse |
    • WonderImagination

      @ DYLANSDADDY

      Couldn't agree with you more.

      LMFAO @ "What do you do if the power is off?"

      January 20, 2011 at 12:11 | Report abuse |
    • Poodle

      Magazines

      January 20, 2011 at 14:08 | Report abuse |
    • Thagerm

      Either you didn't read the article or your just not real bright. Perhaps you should go back to the top of the page and start over. Nowhere did it tell you what to think and it even loosely agreed with your post. You just needed something to argue about huh, feel better now?

      January 20, 2011 at 15:57 | Report abuse |
  21. toxictown

    Great, thanks CNN :-/ Now my wife is going to read this.

    January 20, 2011 at 11:34 | Report abuse |
  22. DYLANSDADDY

    My wife and I watch it together. Sometimes we she will watch it by herself or I will too. Its a great tool for when you are not on the same s exual schedule. The thing is you cant let if make you feel insecure.

    January 20, 2011 at 11:36 | Report abuse |
  23. Jim

    How on earth is this scientific in any way? Way to go CNN, one more step down the ladder to becoming a complete tabloid.

    January 20, 2011 at 11:41 | Report abuse |
  24. Major Climax

    This is the natural result of women's liberation. OK, fine, you don't want to be a home maker, and you want to compete with men in the workplace. Fine, let's do that.

    Now, it takes two wage earners to live at a lower standard of living than we had 40-50 years ago. Everyone is stressed. Wage deflation hurts all. But now, women come home and expect to one again be princesses of the castle.

    Forget it. I'm going to look at nubile, athletic sweetness. Women now are as irrelevant to a man's happiness as they made men out to be in the 70s and 80s. Turnabout is fair play. Enjoy the world you created.

    January 20, 2011 at 11:43 | Report abuse |
    • New York

      well said!

      January 20, 2011 at 12:24 | Report abuse |
    • JerkyBoys

      Awesome. Absolutely awesome.

      January 20, 2011 at 13:20 | Report abuse |
    • Jessica

      So when women have self worth, no one is happy? Such an odd concept.. I would think that if both partners were happy than the relationship would be a happy one.

      January 20, 2011 at 13:38 | Report abuse |
    • Jessica

      Also, I'm not sure when this "once again" occured. Were women "princesses of the castle" while they were cooking, cleaning, or washing? Which one of those is regal? lol

      January 20, 2011 at 13:47 | Report abuse |
    • Hot & S E X Y

      @ Major climax – OUCH! Dude some chic must have totally wrecked your life – you're so hateful. How 'bout everyone gets off the whole blame game and has some S E X !

      January 20, 2011 at 14:35 | Report abuse |
    • California

      @Major Climax. Sounds like you are just bitter that a woman can compete with you. You are only as irrelevant as you make yourself out to be. I for one value my man because he values me... it's called love. Too bad you won't ever know it because you are too busy blaming women for your shortfalls.

      January 20, 2011 at 15:02 | Report abuse |
    • weblover

      Majorclimax very WELL said!!

      January 20, 2011 at 15:39 | Report abuse |
  25. DYLANSDADDY

    My wife and I do too. Just soft though.

    January 20, 2011 at 11:49 | Report abuse |
  26. dragonwife

    What matters is how the person viewing the movie/image/etc. looks at his (or her) partner afterward. Does he think she needs to always dress skimpily and be insatiable like the women in the films? Does she think he needs to be the romantic hero/aggressive macho guy/etc. who ravishes the panting woman? The big problem is if it makes the viewer unsatisfied with his or her partner. It's one thing to casually think, "Oh, she needs to lose 10 pounds", or, "He should work out more and lose the gut", if it's something that is realistic and can be discussed without truly hurting the other. BUT - as the article said, if the viewer is finding it harder to enjoy a real relationship with a live person because it's "just not as exciting", then there's a real problem. If you're drifting away from a formerly-good relationship, and nothing significant has changed for the worse, then you should take a serious look at reality vs. fantasy. Face it - no matter how hot someone is, we all get older and our bodies change. Unless you're a fitness fanatic (note I said fanatic – staying healthy and in shape is great and desirable, but taking it to extremes, like working out 4 hours a day, is not) and/or have had major/multiple cosmetic procedures, you're just not going to look as good at 50 as you did when you were 20. If you expect your partner to, then the problem is with you and not him/her. So... bottom line, go ahead and view whatever gets you excited, but keep reality in mind. The physical feels MUCH better if it has an emotional/mental complement.

    January 20, 2011 at 11:49 | Report abuse |
    • DYLANSDADDY

      Right on.

      January 20, 2011 at 11:57 | Report abuse |
    • Yawny

      Yaaaaawwwwwwnnnnnnnnn !!

      January 20, 2011 at 12:10 | Report abuse |
    • WonderImagination

      Agreed!

      January 20, 2011 at 12:16 | Report abuse |
    • Igeddit

      I don't think "YYYYAAAAWWWNNNNN understands – or he can't read. Probably doesn'"get" much eather

      January 20, 2011 at 14:04 | Report abuse |
    • @dragonwife

      Very well said! I think it's very important to have a partner who can easily distinguish between reality and fantasy. It's one thing to be in shape and healthy, but it's quite another thing to be plastic and airbrushed.

      January 20, 2011 at 16:12 | Report abuse |
  27. Forrestal

    Two to three times a day? Fifteen times a week seems like a lot. Don't they know that kitten dies every time they do that?

    January 20, 2011 at 11:54 | Report abuse |
    • Sharky

      "Don't they know that kitten dies every time they do that?"

      January 20, 2011 at 11:57 | Report abuse |
    • Sharky

      "Don't they know that kitten dies every time they do that?"

      I don't like cats. I'm more of a dog person.

      January 20, 2011 at 11:59 | Report abuse |
    • Forrestal

      Then choke the chicken all you want.

      January 20, 2011 at 12:02 | Report abuse |
    • eepah

      Don't they know Ceiling Cat is watching them?

      January 20, 2011 at 12:03 | Report abuse |
    • Forrestal

      eepah: That's gonna mess Sharky up. He'll be thinking there's some cat waching him next time.

      January 20, 2011 at 12:04 | Report abuse |
    • WonderImagination

      We are just helping certain foreigners to feed their families.

      January 20, 2011 at 12:18 | Report abuse |
  28. Helmut Von Goebel

    Interweb girls are hot, you don't have to listen to them constantly complaining, you don't have to pretend you like their friends, they won't drag you to see "Mama Mia", they're cheaper, and you can turn your computer off when you want to watch the game.

    January 20, 2011 at 11:54 | Report abuse |
    • Forrestal

      "Mama Mia" is really lame

      January 20, 2011 at 12:00 | Report abuse |
    • MadCityBabe

      you're a very sad individual.....when you grow up and where big boy pants, you'll see real relationships are worth the wait.

      January 20, 2011 at 12:10 | Report abuse |
    • I think...

      "Mama Mia" was a great movie!

      January 20, 2011 at 12:38 | Report abuse |
    • melissa

      Why do I feel sorry for you?

      January 20, 2011 at 13:52 | Report abuse |
  29. Seriously?

    The article fails to mention the poor men anchored to baby machines and food guzzlers. Men marry a woman because they find them attractive, they're supportive of our outlandish childish stupid ideas, and relatively low key on the maintenance and nagging.

    Throw out the hot body and awesome personality in favor of kids, kankles and a 24/7 soccer mom scowl and there you go. I wouldn't F that with your D either.

    When/if you get married realize this fact and don't rush out to have kids. Glad we waited and realized kids will RUIN our marriage. Looking at all our family and friends who are tied down with kids, it's absolutely HILARIOUS watching these couples interact and try to keep it together in public from the perspective when you do NOT have to put up with that constant BS in your life. And they all say the same, "But it's worth it..." tag line when they rant on for hours about the difficulty of children and lack of personal time. Really? You just spent an hour blasting your kids and husband you moron! No wonder he doesn't want to stick it in you!

    Signed,
    11 years married without screaming brats and still going at it like newlywed rabbits.

    January 20, 2011 at 12:06 | Report abuse |
    • Valerie

      You DO realize kids eventually grow up, don't you? And you wife will STILL be old anyway.

      Sorry, not EVERYONE is/was unhappy raising kids. I cannot imagine life without my husband OR my teenage sons, of which you will NEVER get to enjoy...but that's alright, life is all about $ex, isn't it?

      January 20, 2011 at 12:25 | Report abuse |
    • sumday

      its really more about investment- when your old chances are you won't be like newly wed rabbits and you won't have anyone to take care or provide for you (yeah sure you will be health and able to take care of yourself your whole life- doubtful), while those with kids will hopefully have those kids take care of them or help them out. I see how much help my grandfather needs and without his kids/grand kids he wouldn't be able to make this long- now when you get old who is going to be there for you??

      January 20, 2011 at 12:49 | Report abuse |
    • Hot & S E X Y

      Sounds to me like you're a little bitter...maybe a little jealous you don't have kids? Kids don't ruin marriages, husbands and wives do.

      January 20, 2011 at 14:44 | Report abuse |
    • Yeppers

      I couldn't agree more. My kid killed MY marriage.

      January 20, 2011 at 16:56 | Report abuse |
  30. VegasRage

    Having pórn séx while watching pórn with your women(s) is even better. Just saying. The author of his article is full sh**.

    January 20, 2011 at 12:10 | Report abuse |
  31. Jessica

    Pics or it didn't happen, guys. I'd like to know how many of you trim, handsome devils have fat cranky wives. I'm betting that you come in a matched set. Also, imo, when you cry all over the CNN comment page you don't really have a leg to stand on in the "I don't like compaining" department.

    January 20, 2011 at 12:16 | Report abuse |
    • Valerie

      Right on Jessica.

      Most marry right within their own "looks" department........so if your wife is ugly, chances are, you are too!

      January 20, 2011 at 12:38 | Report abuse |
    • Joeh

      Jessica, sorta have to agree with you, lifestyle effect both in a relationship that being said I am one of those relationships that don't match. I am fit, play hockey several times a week, own a small farm that i work nearly alone. I might be on the high side of my BMI chart but I am at my ideal weight for height and age. my wife of 20 years who I love more then I can say is 40 lbs over weight. I love her, but I am still a guy, her attractiveness has slide a lot. I don't stray so I use the tools available to me.

      January 20, 2011 at 14:37 | Report abuse |
    • ilikepeanuts

      My husband and I are both fit and attractive but he has an EXTREMELY SMALL PENIS. At least you can feel fat chicks.

      January 20, 2011 at 17:58 | Report abuse |
  32. 400thecat

    Hey! How do I get CNN to publish my gratuitous, business-promoting essay?

    January 20, 2011 at 12:21 | Report abuse |
  33. Aaron

    Well this guy is clearly not any good in the sack. I feel sorry for any woman who wants to be with him.

    January 20, 2011 at 12:22 | Report abuse |
  34. evaristo

    the guy who wrote this article is mad gay

    January 20, 2011 at 12:23 | Report abuse |
  35. Bellend

    More pointless dribble. Do this, do that, act this way, act our way! We're pros who do little research, we just talk about our research like it has been an ongoing study for years and years! WE KNOW ALL, LISTEN TO US!
    Silly nonsense

    January 20, 2011 at 12:24 | Report abuse |
  36. Honesty

    Jessica....I am middle aged and my wife isn't fat and she isn't cranky either and we are both happy. My wife happens to have some curves and she looks beautiful. A woman doesn't have to look like a stick to be beautiful.

    January 20, 2011 at 12:32 | Report abuse |
  37. Steely McBeam

    That's absurd to say because of internet prawn men are punching the clown 2-3 times a day.
    US companies don't afford Americans the time off our European coutnerparts enjoy. Every year you work more and make less. Most families are dual income now. Women's libidos are more easily affected than mens and a day of work easily wrecks it for the day. I'd much rather be with my wife but when she's passed out at night what's a guy supposed to do?

    January 20, 2011 at 12:35 | Report abuse |
  38. V Saxena

    "It’s a SADD state of affairs."

    LOL. FYI – As a single man, the most I might ever do it is once a day, and that's only if I'm really bored or something. Don't discount the orgasmic quality of some good ol' intellectual stimulation! Speaking of which, I think you, Sir, hit my G-spot! j/k

    January 20, 2011 at 12:38 | Report abuse |
  39. FatWomen

    Overweight Western women. Why are there overweight western women? Because of feminism. Feminism has allowed women to abuse the system and lose all responsibilities they have ever had, like taking care of their bodies and being healthy. This is why escorts, p0rn, $ e x u a l deviancy is at an all time high with western men, because men want a return to normalcy (healthy proportioned women). This is also why marriage is a bad investment, because sooner or later after a woman "hooks" a man (and believe me, thats how they describe it to their gf's), they gain massive amounts of weight after they let themselves go. Comfort eating I call it, because they know their man is screwed in terms of divorce and child support, alimony. They've pretty much hit the lottery by then.

    January 20, 2011 at 12:47 | Report abuse |
    • Juan Carlos de Burbon

      Does being that stupid physically hurt?

      January 20, 2011 at 12:57 | Report abuse |
    • Dixon Uranus

      So very true.

      I was raised to respect women and desire an equal partner, whom I would find attractive. 45 years on: the attractive ones are crazy, and the sweet ones are obese.

      Pretty. Smart. Sane: Pick Any Two.

      Cleaning the pipes also reduces risk of making baby mistakes that will haunt one ad infinitum.

      January 20, 2011 at 13:02 | Report abuse |
    • Jessica

      And American men are overweight because...?

      January 20, 2011 at 13:14 | Report abuse |
    • Hot & S E X Y

      Right on Jessica...seems like all the dudes on here blame women for their rotten lives. Did it ever occur to some of these guys that they married someone you didn't love? You're expectations are unrealistic? You're too afraid to really talk to your wife? Tell the real truth? Dude my husband tells me that he whacks it everyday and has for like 10 yrs whether we have s e x that day or not. Sometimes he does right next to me while I'm sleeping...LOL totally floored me! I was like holy c r a p you're a maniac! But if that's your thing then who am I to stop you? I ring the doorbell quite a bit myself and still manage to have a ton of great s e x – with and without p o r n. And I don't give a d a m n about how I look when I get off or how my husband looks – that's not the point.

      It's not ALL women – put up or shut up jack wagon.

      January 20, 2011 at 14:53 | Report abuse |
  40. Habitual Offender

    I think the real problem is self image. Why do American women devote all their free time to removing hair and trying to attain the figure of a 12 year old boy? Also many of you take your que of what is attractive from the fashion & cosmetics industry. Think about it......guys who are not into women telling women what they should look like. BIZZARE!!!!!

    January 20, 2011 at 12:54 | Report abuse |
  41. Dixon Uranus

    This discussion is making me feel funny.... ;-o

    January 20, 2011 at 12:59 | Report abuse |
    • Ben Dover

      Me too

      January 20, 2011 at 14:11 | Report abuse |
  42. Mike Nike

    Enjoy the VD!!!

    January 20, 2011 at 13:04 | Report abuse |
  43. TripleA

    The REALLY juicy (excuse the pun) part of this article...are the names chosen for “Soundoff”! OMG! Eaton Butts, Dixon Uranus, Rodger Rectum…! Hahaha. Hey CNN, leave out the article and just run Soundoff names, they're more informative and entertaining.

    January 20, 2011 at 13:11 | Report abuse |
  44. JJ

    well, i would say best and better relationship, both husband and wife should have their body image, and not only the wife or ur GF, which means, you want to keep your partner by yourside, you better keep ur image and stay together, if i can keep my image healthy muscular , so my wife will do the same or out of the game!

    January 20, 2011 at 13:16 | Report abuse |
  45. Carol

    Of course it's better with the real thing but I also know where to go to find those happy clips.

    January 20, 2011 at 13:17 | Report abuse |
  46. JJ

    Jessica, American men are fat because they are slappy, all they think to work something easy going, playing ps3 xbox, eating 4-5 times a day, go to europe and you will see the difference !

    January 20, 2011 at 13:20 | Report abuse |
    • mike

      I was just thinking how "slappy" we are. So, so overly slappy.

      January 20, 2011 at 13:30 | Report abuse |
    • Jessica

      I've been to Europe and just like in America, there are people of all types ; )

      January 20, 2011 at 13:33 | Report abuse |
  47. samson

    reading these comments(the way they play off each other..) is better than watching stand-up if I'm in need of a laugh.

    January 20, 2011 at 13:23 | Report abuse |
  48. Avenue Q

    The internet is really really great...
    I've got a fast connection, so I don't have to wait...
    There's always some new site
    I browse all day and night
    It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light!

    January 20, 2011 at 13:23 | Report abuse |
  49. DYLANSDADDY

    @ Mike Nike- Very slim chance of catching anything soft swapping. People have a greater chance catching something having an affair.

    January 20, 2011 at 13:25 | Report abuse |
  50. Howie

    I do.

    January 20, 2011 at 13:26 | Report abuse |
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Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love.