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January 18th, 2011
04:54 PM ET
Men have upper hand in sexual economyIt's not a new theory: As women progress in educational and professional opportunities, their odds of finding a committed man appear to go down. Women in their 40s and 50s have long heard this, but new research finds it's true for women just entering adulthood as well. That's one of the findings in the new book "Premarital Sex in America: How Young Americans Meet, Mate and Think About Marrying," by researchers Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker at the University of Texas at Austin. They looked at the results from a number of national studies including the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health and the National Study of Youth and Religion, in addition to interviews with young people ages 18 to 23. Researchers found that since women in the 18- to 23-year-old group feel they don't need men for financial dependence, many of them feel they can play around with multiple partners without consequence, and that the early 20s isn't the time to have a serious relationship. But eventually, they do come to want a real, lasting relationship. The problem is that there will still be women who will have sex readily without commitment, and since men know this, fewer of them are willing to go steady. "Women have plenty of freedom, but freedom does not translate easily into getting what you want," Regnerus said. The wide availability of pornography has also influenced the dynamics of relations between men and women, Regnerus said. A segment of 20-something men are content to have their sexual experiences by themselves, removing them from the pool of available partners. That means high-quality men - likely those who want monogamous, committed relationships - are still eligible for dating, but the overall dating pool has shrunk, meaning some women will be left unsatisfactorily single. Researchers also found that marrying at or before age 20 constitutes the greatest risk for subsequent divorce, the data show. Early marriage doesn’t cause the divorce, but the partners are likely to be unprepared for the kinds of adjustments required, Regnerus said. And here's perhaps some good news: Sexual behavior among this age group is less salacious than you might think. The "hookup culture" is most prominent when there is a Greek system present; otherwise, college students seem more inclined toward stable relations and have fewer sexual partners. In case you were wondering, 16% of 18- to 23-year-olds are virgins, according to the surveys used in the book. In that age group there are more men than women who have never had sex. By age 27, the portion of virgins goes down to 8%. soundoff (1,373 Responses)« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 Next »Leave a Reply to RV TV Riverside
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Guys! Just bang as many of these feminazis as possible. It's not too difficult. Believe me.
When you are ready to settle down and have children, travel to Eastern Europe or Latin America, Asia, or even the Middle East.
Western women have priced themselves out of the man market. So you go be independent. You don't need a man. You got your high paying career job, a house, your girlfriends, and hey grab some AA batteries on the way home and you're all good!
AA batteries.. RIOT!! AHAHA!
ON your topic though. Yes, American women have priced themselves out of the market, actually endangering their commodity in some nations.
Plenty of sweet girls in Mother Russia...smart, s3xy, affectionate, family-oriented...just be willing to go there (not a scam website) and take some time to learn basic language skills and customs. It's a life investment, right? But avoid the ones who are desperate to get out...choose the ones who are content to stay in their home country...they'll follow you back home if they love you, don't worry.
My point is simple any Man or Woman who feel that they do not need the other is in for a real awakening.
"That means high-quality men – likely those who want monogamous, committed relationships..."
What the what? This is a highly irresponsible, archaic view of a man's value. Mating and being a 'high quality man' have little to do with one another.
Thank God I'm a man. Female,my piece of advise for you is when you see a man you are attracted to,open up a little bit. Don't sit back and wait for him to come and talk to you because a lot of guys are shy. I remember I was still shy at the age of 22. I know for sure a lot of guys are like that. All fingers are equal. If a man can approach a woman why can't a woman approach a man,but it has to be in a reasonable way.
It is pretty outrageous and stupid to claim that all women are gold-digging wh*res and are selfish with unreasonable expectations. I am none of those things, am classy and attractive, and could have been married many times but like many of the commenters on this page am wary of rushing into such a serious commitment or settling when I'm not 100 percent sure. There are plenty of women out there who are the same way. Sounds like you both are blaming an entire segment of the population for your poor choices and failures. Maybe if either of you were better catches yourselves, you would have wound up with the right kind of woman.
You sound sane enough, but I'm doubtful. There is no 100% certainty here. Heck, if you're at 90-95%, jump in up to your ankles (head-first). That's as good as it ever gets. You're dealing with *people*. They change. Wait until you have a kid (if you do) and watch what happens to your hormones. You will _not_ be the same person after. If your mate is looking for 100% as well, you'll both be disappointed.
Life is a journey, not an investment. The idea is not to walk blindly off a cliff, but to at least realize there might be some mud on the path and the occasional downed-tree that requires a little work to get around.
Sarah, all of my coworkers are educated men with money. 95% of the single/divorced men are dating ladies from other countries. American women just aren't worth the hassle these days. Why put up with an American womans idea of what love is supposed to be when men can find beautiful intelligent ladies in other countries who treat their men with great respect? Respect is a two way street and most American women don't know they have to drive down that road too.
I agree completely, I married a Russian lady 5 years ago, a highly educated,sucessful and coming from rich families in Russia, left everything to be with me, even the comforts she enjoyed at home since I'm a middle class worker. She was 23 at the time but she has always told me that money and career are good but they won't keep you warm at night or say "hello" to you when you come home, so for her, our family is first and career later, she says that if one day she feels the need to work then she'll do it but right now she is happy building a family and taking care of our children since she doesn't want them to grow being raised by the xbox,neighboors,baby sitters or day care centers and become selfish,spoiled and with a stranger's values.
American women seem to be full of hate towards men, instead of helping each other you compete with each other and it should not be so, if you feel that you are being "lowered" by cooking or washing dishes then men should not move furniture or change tires either, in a marriage everybody should put their part, equals in rights but completing each other in tasks, after all it's about moving forward together.
Men are not marrying foreigners because they want a "servant" wife, we marry foreigners because we want a wife that makes us feel like real men and not to feel that we married a "she-male" that feels more like a business arragement than a relationship. When a man feels also that he is needed and loved by his wife he will give his 100% (I know I do, I give thanks to God for my wife and kids everyday). Life is not always peachy and trouble free but when you are loved and respected you feel you can achieve anything.
I agree with you %100, you hit the nail on the head. I have noticed how the dynamic of dating has changed, though even some foreign women take on the "she male" complex as you've described. My ex-wife was from the Phillipines and because she was already a nurse and I was in school she became empowered in the american tradition and ran me right over. Now I'm starting to get back in the dating scene but it seems futile !!
Did it occur to you that she might have been like that all along and just hiding it from you so she could get what she wanted from you? I've seen both men and women pull that little trick.
Amen!!! Very true.
The US seems to be central station of empowerment, which is good and bad.
Sadly, many don't deserve it and abuse it as well.
Love from him, respect from her, lots of communication and sharing the housework –> happiness.
Turn off the TV & vid games, get more education, and reflect all the time on the teaching of Jesus.
It's worked for us – 3 generations, 4 cultures.
The last sentence you wrote is a personal indictedment of your judgement and standards, Sarah you are only haggelling over money now
Well, the first line of your statement doesn't leave you looking classy...
You'll never be sure, it's a leap of faith and requires constant work to make it last.
this smarmy wh0re is all over CNN making disparaging remarks against men feverishly like a rat pressing a bar constantly for treats...don't take my word for it...google her...she comments on every boy vs girl troll article that cnn posts for attracting more traffic (like this one).
sarah, no one wants you or needs you...stop hiding behind your computer taking your easy potshots against the male gender like the coward you are... because you are old, fat, bitter and trying to cover it up with false bravado and patting yourself on your little self-righteous head. you are an ignorant, passive-aggressive hillbilly and you need to lose some weight and barracade yourself in your megachurch...get off CNN comment boards and stay out.
If you wait for "100% certainty" you'll never get married. Probably for the best, too.
If you wait for "100% certainty" you'll never get married. Probably for the best, in all probability.
It is possible they are not all gold digging ho's but the odds of meeting one that isn't is astronomically small. It's generally some kind of quid pro quo involving things (purchased with money) and not love or relationship. Women have a Barbie life in mind and expect a man to give it to them. They (all) can turn off all the switches in one split second. So it's all about HER and what she GETS for putting out (what do you call that? A ho? Or a loving wife?
This says it all:
http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/men-the-gender-wars-are-over-%E2%80%94-we-won/
So true!
"All that whining and self-pity didn't clue you in to the fact that a woman wrote this?".............I could tell by the first sentence that the author was a woman. Women are much more status conscience than men. Basically that's all they are.
Keep it simple. Just find a woman you already dislike and buy her a house.
I see a recurring answer to several guy's comments which basically state it doesn't matter because men are terrible lovers anyway.
With this observation I must interject my own. A typical passive-aggressive reply to 'get back at' a man. Females, we don't care usually if we get you to the mountain or not. Honestly and very upfront, men want what we are attempting to obtain and that is to get ours. If you don't have yours, sorry but you just didn't try hard enough. Whether you attain your breaking moment before or after we do is of no concern to us, and I say this in honesty.
@jc, You seem very hung up against men and 'trophy' wives. It would be humorous if it weren't so scary how angry you are that you are not one of those wives. Personally, I have never subscribed to the whole newer model every 10 year thought, but to each their own. If a man can afford one, so be it, and if the woman wants to be that shallow, ok. Not my life to deal with.
@therest Ladies, we don't give one care that you can 'take' the box away. There is someone 10 years younger and cuter waiting anyway for most of us, and if not I can rent one and pay a lot less. Get over yourselves. At the end of the day, everyone of you has to call the tow truck to change a tire, has no idea how to fix most household emergencies, will die in the wilderness if you lose your way, and believe in fairy-tales (re: "The One").
Oh and one last thing. To the women that keep mentioning spousal abusers. It is interesting to know that more women physically assault their male counterparts, yet those occurrences are less reported due to that whole machismo ideal.
Okay, I see and hear this all the time from girls. I know too many nice, sweet, and perfectly okay girls who can find a boyfriend and potentially get married. The problem is that women want too much. Their so many guys out there but women just complain together and look for this imaginary perfect guy that they read about or see in this unrealistic movies that have the same plot with different actors. I get so tired of reading these things. My cousin is educated, beautiful, and has an wonderful soul, but she is still single and 30. Yes, 30. Has two degrees. Why? Standards...looking for all of these perfect things in the wrong spots. – I wish all of you single educated women success in finding the man of your dreams.
Oh please women want it all – fabulously free and successful 20's, stable and committed 30's, boring 40's. They have their careers and selfish years and expect a man and children to be waiting for them when they feel the time is right. Women are their own worst enemies – but I am just wondering who perpetuated this lie in the first place...
Agreed.
Why get shackled down to someone that sees you as a safe investment and is only with you because she couldn't find better? Some men are gullible in believing they were their SO one and only, but others find happiness in living their lives alone. I mean seriously, where is it written that a man needs a woman to sustain his life and make it valid. Most women lead boring lives anyway and latch onto a man because men actually know how to be social and have fun. A modern American woman's idea of social is going out to a club, getting insanely drunk, and sleeping with a random guy. A modern man: sports, electronic hobbies, financial investments, automotive hobby, travelling, etc. Name one woman that you know that travels and works on cars or builds computers or plays for the local city sports team. If they do they are most likely not straight. Men facilitate fun for women, thats why women seek men. All a woman can offer a man is s e x, but in contrast, a man offers a woman a life of excitement from the mundane. Even the Duke s e x thesis girl wrote about the men in her life as if that WAS her only life.
LOL you got that right and later on in life most women get crazy with menopause ( hormone deficits), Living through that is insanity.
What's lacking with many of these people are Reasonable Expectations. You're dealing with another human being. That person is unpredictable. They're subject to emotion and a degree of randomness. They can have a bad day. They can have mood swings.
Here's the thing though; if you accept that YOU can have these as well AND you realize that if you cut the other person a little slack, the unpredictability is less. The randomness is less frequent. Emotions are more sane and mood swings aren't as extreme. If you don't p!ss and moan about the little things (and yes, they are little things), don't nag about inane details, and, occasionally, if you're not in the mood for play but your partner is, try taking one for the team. You do these things and I _promise_ you, your mate will not go wandering.
Life isn't perfect. Your mate isn't perfect. YOU aren't perfect. Don't try to make it perfect and don't force expectations of perfection on them. Life with a life-long mate is a hell of a lot better when there's some flexibility.
"Of course he's not bitter, he's still hooking up with the next crop of immoral young women."...........Are there any moral women in this country? I used to think there were – until I went out with a randy church lady.
There are two birds. Both, born discontented, seek a male partner whose purpose in life is to help her build a feathered nest. If the first birds nest is satisfactory, she will keep her mate around. He might think she loves him, but it's a business deal to her. The other bird? She notices the first bird has a better nest. The thought of it consumes her. She will eventually get a better nest or kick her 'sorry' mate out. If she doesn't kick him out, he'll wish she would. If she does, she will learn a sad lesson: the older male birds are no longer fooled by hormonal urges and the younger ones don't even look at her. She contents herself with chocolates and a cat curled up in her lap. She doesn't see the irony in making a nest for her cat. Her ex thinks it's funny and enjoys his new freedom.
Hey loosers get a life and pick up a hobbie!
"go steady"? When was this article written, in the 1950's?
And the theme of the article seems to be that young wonen are s l u t s.
It's sad to see that many people on this forum don't know what love is. All this hate between men and women, all this childish bickering. I hope you all someday find love. It's really, really, really, really awesome.
Love is a verb. You give it to who you want to. You can't find it because it doesn't exist.
Ever try to find run???
Read em and weep ladies! After all these years of scamming guys out of their hard earned freedoms and cash we are DONE with you! Best of luck! 🙂
Agree 100%. I'm 36, single, no kids, and happy as hell. Travel when I want, do what I want, and date younger women. When my female friends ask me why I'll never get married, I tell them the truth: Because I like being happy.
The article makes it sound as though women have that upper hand.
Which I believe is completely accurate. The power is with whoever is holding the keys.
Maybe we just dont want to end up with these chalky burlap sacks after they banged everyone and your brother?
Seriously,I was ready to commit to someone years ago,but they wanted to party and fool around with everyone else.
Now she has two kids and wants me back in her life? I didnt even answer her call.Why would I want you when there are so many younger girls out there?
call me back when you're 19 again
Sarah in Texas says ....
"It is pretty outrageous and stupid to claim that all women are gold-digging wh*res and are selfish with unreasonable expectations."
How many women have you dated?
THEY ARE JUST LOOKING FOR SOME NEW STORY TO MAKE MONEY WITH AND WHAT IS A *GREEK SYSTEM*?? LIKE WHAT,THE,-
True not ALL broads are gold digging wh0res. You've got the fat ones that can only depend on how well they do on their oral exams in bed to keep a man around. They're pretty anal about not wanting to be an old maid!
LIES, LIES, LIES , ALL LIES, NOTHING CAN BE DETERMINED EVER SO STOP TRYING
Am I the only person that finds this articule offensive? It is like something out of the 50s...
Yup just you
Always good for a guy to marry a professional woman. If/when you divorce, you won't have to pay alimony.
When do men not have the upper hand?
When they are under 35 and when they are in divorce court – for starters.
This is crazy. Women have the power. Always have, always will.
Danny- Women only have the power because you, like most men, give them the power. Take their power away by increasing your options with women. Do yourself a huge, life-changing favor, and read "The Game" by Neil Strauss. You'll understand what I mean.
I thought i was the only one these women knock off till I saw this picture. Thanks for reassuring me CNN.
Now on this topic. I got my clue on marriage from an R Kelly video and I've been married 7 nearly happy years. 'You remind me of my Jeeeeeeppp!!' and i thought of my gas guzzler parked right out my window and causing me a personal economic depression (before the general one hit). I went out to the mail and married the first Toyota I could find named Chikota – from Hiroshima (no pun intended). She repects me and goes for miles without so much as a tune up (talk less of overhauls).
opps
Divorces are more stable in relationships.
The less educated a woman is, the lower her IQ, the more likely she's content with normal things, rests a lot and looks better, the more likely an educated dude with a higher IQ to marry her, thinking his IQ makes him discerning, the more likely she'll find out that there are better things in this world than sitting around and making up, the more likely she'll discover her 'rights', the more likely she'll force him to file, the more likely she's cunning in court, the more likely a divorce, the more likely she'll become 'paid' and he 'a broke ass', the more likely O.J will 'Simpson' her.
Huh?
Girls, the truth is, see that body on the Victoria's Secret Model? That's the body you need! Anyone else tells you different then it is a LIE !!!! No one wants a fat girl unless they listen to hip-hop!
Nice veiled way to say that only black guys like fat girls. You're an a$$.
"Nice veiled way to say that only black guys like fat girls. You're an a$$."
But an accurate a$$. Good thing there are lots of prime candidates for these guys.
Woman, save your virginity until marriage and marry a man who'd pay 2 million dollars for your virginity. He won't leave you because you were a virgin bride and because he paid so much money on you. That's the whole idea. You may lose him afterward anyway and lose all your fortunes by the rising sea level. If you don't like this idea, save your virginity for the man who'd marry you and who'd die for you because he is the honest man who truly loves you and will stay with you for all his life. If you don't have any intention of keeping virginity for marriage, just expect any men to disrespect you as mere toys and suffer a life-time thirst.
A man capable of paying $2MM for a novelty like someone's virginity has no problems dumping you by the roadside. He'll require a pre-nup leaving you with bupkis. What an inane thing to do, attaching a monetary value to principle.
Ageek, read between the lines. Virginity is priceless. Woman should find a man who'd give up everything for her and marries her because that is true love. Don't settle with anything less. Loss of virginity before marriage practically means loss of prospective of lifetime marital happiness.
How ridiculous is this notion of putting a $ value on virginity?
All I know is , women are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
i always though that amerikan girls are more morally decadent than guys. guys still have standard, control but girls, most act so sweet but behind door, ..go all the way!!!! it can't be closer to the truth. the stats say it all. now how can you deny that chances are, the daughter that you love so much and are so proud of for being daddy's girl and goes to college turns out to be ......when you work so hard to pay their college tuition. certainly not all kids are like these but MANY of them are. I don't feel sorry for them. let them go degrading themselves and being disgrace to their family if that's what they want. i just feel so sorry for the parents.
in america, mariage is all about property
Whereas in Lagos, it's all about the size of your cow herd.
That's an odd little bit of info. I find more educated and successful women MUCH more attractive and would more likely consider marriage with the most educated and successful woman I have a chemical attraction and connect with.
Just wanted to say i read all these comments and was thoroughly entertained. Lots of moments of insight, ignorance, stupidity, and cruelty; and i can smile at them all.
and we can sleep so much better now that we know you approve
MAIN REASON ALOT OF MALES NO LONGER WANT TO BE MARRIED, is the PREJUDICED ANTI-MALE so-called "FAMILY COURTS" that steal mens' children from them assigning them only to the women, and to the men only the right to pay money. Also the entire FEMI-NASTY GOVT. DOMINATED so-called Domestic Violence Industry, which enriches lawyers and usually is not about violence, but instead about giving FEMALE SUPREMECIST ORDERS. Most American Women nowadays want to "use men" and then use the Courts to push men around further, stripping them of their basic-human-rights. No wonder most men don't want to get married anymore, and less than half the adult population is now married.
What killed the dinosaurs? Not only a meteorite, but the appearance of a small, agile dinosaur named Oviraptor, which raided the eggs in the nests of dinosaurs.
If we don't get rid of our public education system, and about 90% of our Government except for defense, America will evaporate overnight. The crushing obligations of the Federal Government and the increasingly crushing tax burden it imposes, and the debt which it can never pay back, will put it out of business. All the States will become independent countries; some will confederate with others, and some will split off or subdivide into Third World ministates right in the heart of North America. Many, if not most of these independent states will be under the financial control of China and other receivership nations who are owed money which they cannot collect from the soon-to-be defunct Federal Government, and so they will try to recoup their failed investment in other ways.
When it is all said and done, history will record that there is no parallel to the rise of the United States, except for the fall of the United States – and the latter is a painful thing to live through and watch, especially when we can so easily forestall this tragedy by abolishing taxpayer-subsidized education.
Sally, I think everything you have said on this board has been right on point, except for the whole "privatize education" thing. I think it's a little crazy to privatize our government. We tried privatizing the prison systems in some places, and it only increased corruption on the part of the companies running the prisons. Any time you privatize something, you introduce the profit factor, and thus greed. I know this is off-topic, so I would love to discuss it further with you elsewhere. Now if only there were a way to trade email addresses...LOL
~Love, when you find it you better jump on it. I was young and when i found my dream girl, i gave her all of my love and asked her to marry me and we did, problem is, i was too young and dumb and f ucked up many times, and it took me until 25yrs old to grow up enough to me a good husband, and now father.
My Wife stuck with me through all of my S hit, and that shows how incredible she is and she is 2 years younger than me, but more grown up than me. Yes i have to live with always being in the wrong for the mistakes that i have made but atleast it with the women that i love.
Too young to get married yes, but if we didn't get married then we would have never have got married at all.
Don't lose the one you love most in life off of bull S hit stats,
Soldier, I love what you wrote.
& if you really are a soldier,
Thank you & God bless you!
"..............the odds of finding a committed man goes down......" Well this is a new twist on the blame game, as opposed to accepting reality for one's history bases on multiple and infinite possibilities and criteria; that are also wide and diverse across the board.
Im more interested in my committed woman going down....
Man is the real loser here. All the women he has, however many, were and will be someone else's women; none is exclusively his. Playing with women, he loses real gallant manhood and the useless, selfish life will totally screw him. Life is fair.
Life is *not* fair and there is no god.
I'm married, it sucks. Should have stayed single and played the field. Women change, into bitter old miserable naggers.
Love is a verb people.
Ever try and find throw?
Also a noun and an adjective.
And with a slight twist, it's an adverb, too.
I love my lovely love machine. She's my true love.
The foriegn women learn the materialistic ways of the USA and end up dumping you the minute you have financial troubles too. DO not fool youself, the love of money is universal
I married a foreign woman. I don't want to talk about American women for fear of getting mad and get someone hurt.
I used to be married, (21 yrs) but I'm all better now! LOL! I love my independence and having "my own zone"! Still love and respect my Ex, but I'll be damned if I'll ever marry again.
Im a 3 day virgin – need some girl-strange to help me out here.
This article is a bunch of crap. You should go back to the drawing board and get a new research team. Take time to understand the psychology of the human being before writing and posting dribble. We may live in a world with cultural boundaries but one thing is for sure, we all think alike in many ways and are shaped differently by social and cultural position. We all want more but also want to give as less as possible. It's a human condition that affects every aspect of life planted within the confines of society by our sinful nature.
Is the theme of this article and book that women's actions have consequences? and that women can't do everything? How mind blowing is that!? lol