Sex ed in the age of Snooki
December 16th, 2010
08:20 AM ET

Sex ed in the age of Snooki

These days, all you have to do is turn on the TV or pick up a gossip magazine to see the future of our youth—and let me tell you, it’s not pretty. In the age of Snooki, "Girls Gone Wild," and Tila Tequila, where on Earth is a young woman supposed to find positive female role models? And how are our boys going to grow up to respect female sexuality when the girls themselves seem to be throwing all sexual caution to the wind? From sexting to the mainstreaming of amateur pornography, a new culture of raunchiness has emerged, one in which women aren’t just participating—they’re often taking the lead.

At Good in Bed, it’s a trend that has many of us concerned. In one of my favorite books on the subject, "Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture," journalist Ariel Levy argues that our culture’s model of female sexuality encourages women to perform for men—think strip clubs and porn. And, writes Jennifer Egan in her New York Times review of the book, “Women have bought into this by altering their bodies surgically and cosmetically, and— more insidiously—by confusing sexual power with actual power, so that embracing this caricaturish form of sexuality becomes, in their minds, a perverse kind of feminism.” But, as Levy points out, “‘Raunchy’ and ‘liberated’ are not synonyms. It is worth asking ourselves if this bawdy world of boobs and gams we have resurrected reflects how far we've come, or how far we have left to go.”

The sexual objectification of women is nothing new. Even Cleopatra, one of the most intelligent and powerful rulers the world has ever known, is mainly remembered by history for her skills as a seductress. But these days, men aren’t the only ones doing the objectifying. In fact, women don’t just objectify themselves—they often objectify other women, too. They’ve come to see themselves through male eyes, whether they’re looking at themselves in a mirror or out on the dance floor. The male gaze is everywhere. If there weren’t guys looking, there wouldn’t be girls posting semi-nude photographs online. If there weren’t guys looking, there’d be no reason for girls to “go wild” in the first place.

Parents blast portrayals of teen sexuality

On the surface, I’ve got it easy as a parent—my wife and I have two sons. “Boys will be boys” goes the conventional wisdom. We’ve come to expect—and often excuse—their bad behavior. That means it falls on a girl’s shoulders to have the self-confidence and self-esteem to create and protect boundaries in respect to her sexuality. While I think it’s important to teach girls how to be empowered gatekeepers of their own sexuality, I also believe that we have to focus on the boys, not let them off the hook. If girls operate in the male gaze (both actual and internalized), then we need to change that gaze. Boys need to learn how to see girls differently. Here’s how:

· Start with your own relationship. Almost from birth, children model and imitate what they see at home. If you and your spouse don't treat each other with respect , you can't expect the same from your child.

· Talk about sex. The information is out there. In books. On the Internet. At Good in Bed, we have many free resources dedicated to the topic of communicating with kids about sexual intimacy. Don't avoid “the talk” - embrace it. It's particularly important that Dad, or another positive male role model, helps to cultivate a sense of respect towards women. Parents cannot take a “see no evil, hear no evil” approach to sex education.

· Help your children decode the media. Point out images that objectify women and explain why they do not accurately reflect female sexuality. Keep an eye out for positive female role models. They're out there.

· Stay in tune with their world. Talk to your child’s teachers and other parents to get a sense of what's happening in and out of the classroom. Let your child make mistakes. You made yours. You can't shut the world out, but you can help your children live in it.

Remember, you can't stop your boy from seeing the world around him. But you can change how he looks at it. And what he needs to be looking at are strong women who know the difference between reality and reality TV.

Ian Kerner is a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him at his website, GoodInBed.

soundoff (289 Responses)
  1. WOW

    I HOPE you are being sarcastic.

    December 16, 2010 at 11:58 | Report abuse | Reply
  2. Greg

    It amazes me that women still put of with this journalistic crap. The article states that women are doing multiple things that are supposedly derogatory, but the fault rests with men and their perceptions. The last time I checked women were humans too, had a brain, could make personal decisions on the fly, and had similar reasoning capabilities as men, etc. If there is fault to be found in a person's behavior then let that person (yes, even if its a woman) be adult enough to accept it. Blaming men for things women do is a bit 1970s. Having a journalist say you don't own your own actions is a bit off, unless women don't believe that they really do control their own actions...

    December 16, 2010 at 11:59 | Report abuse | Reply
  3. Michael

    I think Ian Kerner lives in a fantasy world or maybe I'm just from another planet.

    December 16, 2010 at 11:59 | Report abuse | Reply
  4. Allen

    People have been been decrying the state of young girls role models for generations. Right now its Snooki and Kesha, 10 years ago it was Britney Spears, Pink and Christina Aguilera (remember, back then her shows had her wearing basically nothing). A decade before that Madonna was the new incarnation of sin and a decade before that the Runaways were a bad example for young girls everywhere.

    And to add to that: "male role models" aren't any better. "The Situation," Pauly D? Or what about 50 Cent and "The Game" back in 2003-05, in 1992-95 Snoop Dog and Dr. Dre, Tupac and Gerardo ("Rico Suave," anyone?), and the decade before that metal and punk music were draining the youth of their future.

    When a generation hits 40-55yrs old, they begin to decry the state of popular culture and lay claim that there is a derogatory effect on the youth. Before any of my examples above there were the hippies, before the hippies the beatniks, before the beatniks there were jazz musicians (there was a 40 year break in the degrees of "fifthly new culture," as jazz was still new and dangerous in the early 1900s but by 1940, it'd been the dominate music for so long). And heck I'm just giving musical examples mainly. When Micky Mouse debuted, newspapers called him "devlish" and whole opt-eds were written about how he was going to bring sin on the nations youth.

    I'm not worried about Snooki. I'm not worried about Kesha. Because like always the young girls will dance to the music, and go to school or work in the morning.

    December 16, 2010 at 11:59 | Report abuse | Reply
  5. Commonsense

    where on Earth is a young woman supposed to find positive female role models? Really, look around you IDIOT there ARE female role models. It is the not the fault of these entertainment venues that these girls decide to behave like Snookie. After all, girls want the same freedom guys have had since...EVER! Stop trashing these girls as if they were worth nothing and were incapable of finding role models you uppity sob

    December 16, 2010 at 12:00 | Report abuse | Reply
  6. Somebody

    Thank you for writing this (although some people have toally missed the point, this article is NOT about Snooki). It's fantastic to see a topic I deeply care about and have extensively thought about getting a platform. This article is dead-on.

    December 16, 2010 at 12:16 | Report abuse | Reply
  7. Mucky

    I haven't taken the time to read all the blogs here, but the article has the same misnomers and pitfalls that other articles that use the "One shoe fits all" approach have. It totally disregards human instinct and the need for acknowledgement and recognition. When a guy looks at a girl and finds her appealing, it's because his human reproductive instrincts are kicking in. Likewise, the reason the girl makes herself appealing is because she likes the result. After all, show me someone who doesn't like to be acknowledged and I'll show you a corpse.

    Teaching children respect should be first and foremost to all parents. But teaching them to recognize and acknowledge that they are humans with calnal desires also should be done. It's how they react to those desires and what they do about them that really matters. Here, the author suggests from what I understood the article to say, that we should totally ignore the fact that the desires actually exist when he says, "If girls operate in the male gaze (both actual and internalized), then we need to change that gaze. Boys need to learn how to see girls differently."

    There's no changing to be done here. The gaze comes naturally, just like wanting to go to the bathroom comes naturally. My motto? Change the behavior that comes after the gaze, not the gaze itself. There's no changing that.

    December 16, 2010 at 12:17 | Report abuse | Reply
    • 1mSerious

      Good take and analogy Mucky!

      December 16, 2010 at 12:44 | Report abuse |
    • V-Ray

      You've nailed this on the head. I posted something similar.

      December 16, 2010 at 13:14 | Report abuse |
  8. Mucky

    *instincts* - *carnal* - Boy! if I could only spell!

    December 16, 2010 at 12:28 | Report abuse | Reply
  9. harley072010

    We should all raise our children, boys and girls, to know the difference between reality and reality TV. Reality TV ISN'T life.

    December 16, 2010 at 12:38 | Report abuse | Reply
  10. Brandino

    Interesting article. I say I'd have to agree with what was said. I was on another online forum last night talking about what we thought of the generation below me (I'm 21 years old), and I think basically the parents in the spotlight right now with this generation aren't the best parents. They seem like they're trying to be their children's friends rather than being a parent. The kids are being drowned in our media culture and they are getting a skewed view of the world.

    December 16, 2010 at 12:49 | Report abuse | Reply
  11. gope

    these raunchy women don't have power over the guys. the guys use them and move on to a different raunchy women. repeat the process ad infinitum.

    December 16, 2010 at 12:50 | Report abuse | Reply
  12. tanhy

    SNORKI is truly disgusting

    the fact that it is being mentioned here just shows how far America has fallen

    December 16, 2010 at 12:51 | Report abuse | Reply
  13. Manny

    where I come from men are aloud to do pretty much anything and that a woman's place is in the kitchen, my mother from an early age made sure that my sister and I knew how to cook, clean, laundry, sew and iron because thats what women are supposed to do but my dad on the other hand didnt want that for his daughters so he taught us to be independent. but many of my friends that were boys growing up the dads wouldnt let their sons help their moms with doing dishes cleaning up for themselves because if men are doing a womans work they could turn gay! ignorance, no respect for women at all that we are only here to do things for men! Parents need to teach their children respect and equality! i think men and women should have the same rights and to me its a shame that young girls dress like Wh*r3s to get a guy and that all that matters is to get a man and hwo to please him! girls killing each other over men it disgusts me!

    December 16, 2010 at 12:54 | Report abuse | Reply
  14. LizNCostume

    You are mixing South Park and Futurama... Just sayin...

    December 16, 2010 at 13:01 | Report abuse | Reply
  15. guy

    So... uh... do you know where the Empowered girls hang out around here?

    December 16, 2010 at 13:05 | Report abuse | Reply
  16. Adam

    I do not live in the Age of Snooki. Never repeat that again.

    December 16, 2010 at 13:07 | Report abuse | Reply
  17. Batman

    There is no "age of Snooki"

    Just because nothing respectable comes on tv and the public has no control over it, doesn't mean youth is as stupid as whats on tv.

    December 16, 2010 at 13:07 | Report abuse | Reply
    • swap42

      If millions of people didn't watch it, it wouldn't be on TV

      December 16, 2010 at 13:26 | Report abuse |
  18. Daniel

    Summary of the article: Like everything else in the world, all that's wrong is mens' fault. Additionally, its the government's job to eliminate toys from happy meals. No one is responsible for their own actions anymore. Kids a loser? It's not the parents, its those evil video games. Kids a fatty? It's the evil toy dispensing fast food chains. Your teenage daughter dresses like a h-o...its not her fault, she HAS to do it because the mean men make her.

    December 16, 2010 at 13:08 | Report abuse | Reply
  19. Andrea M

    Thanks, but I enjoy being objectified to some extent. When I look in the mirror every morning, I see normal old me and know that in reality I'm just a pale, little nerd in pajamas who fell asleep to MST3K the night before. But when I catch a guy looking at me, it gives me a little confidence boost. I know in my heart of hearts that I'm nobody that special, but that look just made me feel special, like a non-verbal compliment.

    December 16, 2010 at 13:10 | Report abuse | Reply
    • David in Corpus

      Me and the wife are so good at manipulating trim off girls like you. Thank you kindly dear. Oh and by the way where did you get those heels, they match your eyes perfectly and I was thinking of getting my wife a pair. If she looks half as hot as you in them I will be happy.
      12 hours later. Hey girl why don't you go in the kitchen and cook me and the wife up some eggs and pancakes, thanks a bunch sweetie, snnnnnoooorrreeee.

      December 16, 2010 at 17:12 | Report abuse |
  20. BrainDamage

    Have an episode foreseeing the future cast, what they will likely look like, Their children, and economy bleak future 😛 Keep it real. That would be entertainment. Part 2- Who Killed Snooki.

    December 16, 2010 at 13:28 | Report abuse | Reply
  21. Rita

    Bravo! We need more articles like these to instigate a sense of self respect in women and to explain the difference between modern and half-dressed.

    December 16, 2010 at 13:32 | Report abuse | Reply
  22. carashere

    Dr. Kerner - Thank you for the first intelligent and thoughtful writing on this subject that I've seen in the mainstream media. It's something that we, as a society, definitely need to be talking about. The thing that is absolutely horrifying to me is how this internal objectification is being pushed on younger and younger girls. Ariel Levy's book is wonderful, but for those for whom a picture speaks a thousand words, I highly recommend Lauren Greenfield"s book Girl Culture. Her photographs speak deeply to this phenomena.

    December 16, 2010 at 13:33 | Report abuse | Reply
  23. W

    Ian, I am disappointed your article rejects all forms of individualism and replaces it with a perverse collectivism where everyone lacks the intelligence to understand "what is good for one may not be good for all". Everyone has different morals and understanding of the world around them. As much as I hate Snooki, it's her right and her decision as an adult to act any way she wants, and we should be happy we don't live in a society that would deny her the right to act raunchy just as us men do. The human animal is very complex and each individual differs wildly, to take that away and assume our species is incapable of not just understanding that people act differently and have different perceptions of reality, but can actually embrace these differences and freedoms as a quality and positive, not a negative.

    December 16, 2010 at 13:36 | Report abuse | Reply
    • BobEar

      Totally Agree, W. Why would some "doctor" call someone else "raunchy"? We should all be comitted to liberty to do what you want. As long as they are not being forced to perform, each individual self expression (that doesn't hurt anyone else) should be applauded.

      December 16, 2010 at 14:31 | Report abuse |
    • Brooke


      December 20, 2010 at 21:43 | Report abuse |
  24. AJ

    I'm 23 and I disowned my generation...I have nothing in common with people my age. I get along better with 30 and 40 year olds! People my age and younger only talk about MTV, current crap on the radio and what have you..I fear for the next generation!

    December 16, 2010 at 13:39 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Tom

      I have to agree with you in general AJ. Though, I count myself lucky because I have a few friends who talk about more than just MTV and what have you. You're not alone.

      December 16, 2010 at 13:55 | Report abuse |
    • Nic

      I agree with you 100%. At 22 years old, I feel more comfortable around people in their 30's & 40's. It seems nobody under the age of 30 talks about anything remotely interesting anymore! It's always mindless garbage, like celebrities and "reality" shows, etc.

      December 16, 2010 at 14:50 | Report abuse |
    • David in Corpus

      Smart fella AJ. You remind me of me and my wife's latest girlfriend (she is 24). She doesn't like hangin' with her own age group either. She'd rather watch movies on the couch with me and my wife (late 30's). Sounds sick I know, but we is all happy as clams. The key gentlemen is to make sure you always pay more attention to your wife than the girlfriend. Don't want momma gettin' jealous now do we. She is a texter though AJ, makes my wife crazy, why can't y'all just call?

      December 16, 2010 at 17:08 | Report abuse |
  25. Eric

    Gloria Steinem is quoted as saying: "A woman reading Playboy feels a little like a Jew reading a Nazi manual." I wonder if she still believes this. Seems like many in this generation of women think Playboy would be too tame.

    December 16, 2010 at 13:48 | Report abuse | Reply
  26. Paul

    Guys want a lady in public and a freak in bed; end of story.

    December 16, 2010 at 13:53 | Report abuse | Reply
    • michelle

      and women are supposed to comfrom to whatever guys want I suppose

      December 17, 2010 at 07:09 | Report abuse |
    • Yellowtail and Scallions

      you can always be replaced it not lol

      December 17, 2010 at 11:22 | Report abuse |
    • Yellowtail and Scallions

      *if not *

      December 17, 2010 at 11:22 | Report abuse |
  27. Tom

    I know one thing. I will not be giving Snooki her smoosh smoosh. Lol

    December 16, 2010 at 13:53 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Brooke

      "So ladies, if you're mad your husband/boyfriend doesn't stare at you like he does the other girls, take him home and give him a reason to stare." –is this a joke? take your husband/boyfriend home and "give him a reason to stare" if you dont want your husband/boyfriend looking at other women? yeah, because thats exactly what should happen, he should be rewarded for disrespecting you and you should have to wow him in the bedroom to keep his eyes only on you... thatll teach him to stare! ha. another thing, snooki is the one taking the heat as a wh8re? if you are commenting on how 'trashy' snookie is then you must be watching the show, if you watch the show you see "Pauly D" and "the situation" bring home a different girl every night. when they go out their main goal is to "smash" (hook up) they refer to women as "gernades" and "landminds" (meaning they are fat or ugly) pauly and mike hooked up with 10x as many people as snookie and they all share the same level of intelligence so im not understanding why all of the negative media i've seen lately is directed toward snookie? i agree with what people are saying about she doesnt have a good 'image' she is not a good role model and certainly not someone i look up to but calling her a "fat troll" is ridiculous, she is still a human being and shes not necessarily a bad person. i really dont know where you get off calling someone a fat troll? its not a mans fault if a woman chooses to display herself in provocative ways, true she does it for the attention of a man but that is her own low confidence choice. lets also remember those disney movies little girls love to watch growing up, they all have to do with finding a man and falling in love and only then will they live happily ever after. the boy always saves the girl, so growing up girls dream about boys when they should be dreaming about all of the things they can achieve on their own to accomplish happiness. if you are taught from a young age that only when you get the guy will you live happily ever after, you tend to become a 'man pleaser' i am NOT saying disney is the reason for all of this im just throwing it out there that the message of prince charming saving the girl is not helpful

      December 20, 2010 at 22:45 | Report abuse |
  28. I_Shake_My_Head

    And a BIG Whoop-de-do………. What a waste of an article! I remember articles like this back in the last 60s and 70s that said about the same stuff. Whatever happened to those free spirited flower children anyway? Love Bugs and flowers children who spoke of “Make love not war” with flowers in their hair, skinny dippers and let’s not forget those streakers…. Oh MY GOD! The world was coming to an end as I recall. Oh, they are us, I forgot!!! It called growing up, and unless you’re Peter Pan, we all do with time and age.

    Dr. Kerner it will be alright, their smarter then your giving them credit for!

    December 16, 2010 at 14:04 | Report abuse | Reply
  29. Jason Matthews

    I've got two daughters, 15 and 12, and am definitely concerned as they come into their teenage years. It's hard to know what's the right amount of freedom to give them regarding the internet, texting and boys. Times have certainly changed since I was their age.

    December 16, 2010 at 14:19 | Report abuse | Reply
    • GuerillaGorilla

      Actually it's quite simple... (father of two girls and three boys here)

      Talk to them. Embarass the living hell out of them. Tell them what it means (physically) to hav s3x, and the reprecussions of not being safe about it. Make them sit through "The mirical of birth" and watch every gory detail. Pause it often and describe how the woman got to the stage she is in. Talk to your local PHN (Public Health Nurse) about getting educational material on STDs and the effects they have on female genetalia. Talk to them about that. Be brutally direct.
      Then encourage them to choose their own path, and if they choose to be active, then encourage safe behaviour. Buy them the protective items (diphrahms, Trojans, Birth Control, etc.) and don't make an issue of it. They'll hate your guts for a while until some other unfortuanate girl their age ends up pregnant or with some horrific STD. Then they'll come around, and while they won't thank you directly, they'll be thankful you talked to them.

      December 16, 2010 at 14:41 | Report abuse |
    • Henry Sure

      Well Jason, women = men, so, why should you expect something different from your girls? Just talk to them, explain to them what you believe, show them how you live life, and just brace for reality.....

      December 16, 2010 at 14:45 | Report abuse |
  30. Masa D. Luffy

    People are dumb.

    December 16, 2010 at 14:29 | Report abuse | Reply
  31. David

    In more words then one... What most of my guy friends want is... A lady in the streets but a freak in the bed!
    Ladies keep it classy... Thats what a real man wants!

    December 16, 2010 at 14:29 | Report abuse | Reply
  32. Henry Sure

    Men should not marry: Men should just have casual s*x and relationships. In this era of total freedom, why should we just stick to one girl, when there are so many available. We have finally reached a great era, when we can just have more s*x and less drama.... Thank you girls for providing us with the things we love most...... The censors are out in full force today here!!! What is offensive here? To say that it is great to enjoy life the way it is?

    December 16, 2010 at 14:31 | Report abuse | Reply
  33. GuerillaGorilla

    Women = Thinking, rational (mostly), human being
    Men = Thinking, rational (mostly), human being

    The objectification of women began long ago, and has been pushed down though the centuries by predominantly masculine leadership. Men have been taught through example that women should be demure, obediant, loyal puppets to the mans will and authority. Men have been taught that the entire womens body is s3xual and is to be used only for s3x. Why do we pay attention when a woman walks by who is scantily clad? Because we've been taught that that woman is acting in a s3xual manner. Why do we loose our respect of women when they showcase themselves, or are s3xually active? Because we've been taught that any woman who acts that way is a harlot and deserves to be treated with disdain and contempt.

    There is a double standard prevalent in the world today. Women should be demure while "boys will be boys." If a woman has s3x with more than one or two guys she is a harlot. If a guy has s3x with more than fifty women he is a hero. These double standards of activity are what is leading this country to the point of disgust and disrespect.

    Fact: I am a guy and I have slept with only thirty-two different women.
    Fact: My wife has had more s3xual partners then me... more than twice as many.

    Does this mean I respect her less? NO
    Does this mean she is a harlot? NO
    It means she was more active than I was, that is all.

    Respect is earned, not deserved. My wife earned my respect. The woman next door to me, who is a very beautiful (and virtuous), hasn't. Do I look when she walks outside in nothing but a thin bathrobe? You bet. Do I want anything to do with her? Not on your life.

    Lang and short... Respect is earned, not deserved. If a woman wants respect, she needs to earn it. If a guy wants respect, he needs to earn it as well.
    Please excuse the use of the word harlot as the synonym is flagged for blocking.

    December 16, 2010 at 14:32 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Henry Sure

      I am sorry your wife had so many s3xual partners....... You could say you are ok with that, but that is impossible.... That is why men should NOT get marry.... Just have s3x, without any responsibility, no dramas.... Snookis are ok, as long as you do not get any STD, so, we have to be careful with our ladies-friends.....

      December 16, 2010 at 14:40 | Report abuse |
    • GuerillaGorilla

      Why is it impossible for me to be OK with my wife having a lot of s3xual partners? Does it make her less of a woman? Does it change the fact that she is a wonderful mother to our children? She stayed safe, and chose her partners with care. Says a lot more to me about her personal choices than these women who are only sleeping with 2-3 guys, yet end up pregnant or with some horrific STD.

      As for marriage, what do you have against it? I'm a 32 y.o male who wants a solid and steady home life with both masculine and feminine leadership in the lives of my children. I don't care about having s3x with as many women as possible, and never really have. There is only one partner in my life now, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

      December 16, 2010 at 14:52 | Report abuse |
    • Henry Sure

      I am under close scrutiny here...... The censors are after me.....

      December 16, 2010 at 15:17 | Report abuse |
  34. Moose

    Are you kidding me? CNN has to be the stupidest rag on the Interweb Tubes. What a stupid article. How can ANYONE take this once great news bureau seriously anymore? They never report the news unless it has a Liberal bent. And then they stuff their margins with stupid worthless articles like this. Very pitiful. The entire managment should be sh it canned. A bunch of azz clowsn - all of them.

    December 16, 2010 at 14:48 | Report abuse | Reply
  35. goodflagbetsy

    this is kind of cool, a girl breaking free from the bull: http://littledebbieoatmealcookie.wordpress.com/explosion/

    December 16, 2010 at 14:49 | Report abuse | Reply
  36. Roger

    So let's see....first the author claims that this generation is taking the morlas of the country into the toilet. Sound familiar? You know why, because that is what every generation says about the next.

    As for women being liberated vs. Raunchy, you are all missing the point. The idea of a liberated woman is great, but it requires education and a strong sense of self. Frankly only a very small % of the female population has these traits. Just like only a small % of the male population has what it takes to escape all of the male sterotypes.

    It is foolish to assume that semi-literate morons from Jersey (or whereever) would be capable enough to handle using the empowerment given through the last 2 generations wisely. To do that women would have to inherently better at being human than men. And that just is not the case. Humans as a group are stupid, selfish, and incapable of long term thought.

    As a general rule the top 1% of the population has carried the rest of us up from being cave men to where we are today. The rest of us are just breeding stock to try to create more of that 1%.

    December 16, 2010 at 14:51 | Report abuse | Reply
    • David in Corpus

      Bro, if I thought humans were capable of being God-like I would so worship you. What a wonderful statement. The libs will say that you are a cold hearted conservative darwinists though. Can't figure out why libs don't like darwinists though, are christians anti-darwin and don't libs hate christians? I will leave the answering of these questions up to you oh smart brother man.

      December 16, 2010 at 16:58 | Report abuse |
  37. I'm Shocked!

    I wonder what Dr. Kerner wants? A return to Victorian ways when women were covered from head to toe and a glimpse of a ankle was a guilty pleasure? Not all things that you personally don't like are bad Dr. Kerner. Men like looking at women. Women (gasp) like looking at men. Some men and women (double gasp) will do things to entice others to look at them! Shocking! The biggest problem with the article (if it can even be called that) is that it is full of things the author doesn't like, but absent on why those things are undesireable. Unless you have some evidence Dr. Kerner, please keep your Victorian opinions to yourself.

    December 16, 2010 at 15:02 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Chef Sun

      Absolutely spot on. We enjoy looking at pretty things as well as pretty people. I don't know what this guy Ian likes to look at. Mother Teresa perhaps?

      December 16, 2010 at 16:49 | Report abuse |
  38. Steve


    December 16, 2010 at 15:23 | Report abuse | Reply
  39. Dave

    Great article!

    December 16, 2010 at 15:24 | Report abuse | Reply
  40. greg

    another example of lazy parenting. if parents don't like what's on tv, TURN IT OFF.

    December 16, 2010 at 15:26 | Report abuse | Reply
  41. observatory1969

    I'm sure it is not unique to California, but have you checked out how young ladies in grades 6-8 dress for school? It seems a small portion of them are dressed as ladies of the evening or at least a 20-something-woman at a bar. They must be changing clothes once they leave the house, because it is hard to imagine a parent allowing their child to wear that type of clothing to school.

    December 16, 2010 at 15:38 | Report abuse | Reply
  42. Balin

    Self esteem means that it comes from yourself, it is nobody's job but your own to boost your self esteem. The kind of behavior described in the article goes the same for men and women. Women are also guilty of the same things that men do. Make your own choices, do not try to impose or "re-train" people with this non sense. Shame on the person that wrote this article.

    December 16, 2010 at 15:42 | Report abuse | Reply
  43. Jay C

    The women who object to this kind of story are most likely OVERWEIGHT, and undersirable. Any hot chick over, say a "7", gladly accepts the attention. All of you "house fraus" who can't get the guy they want, rant and rave about men being pigs, instead of losing weight and getting in the game.

    December 16, 2010 at 15:48 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Flora

      Someone is obviously young and severely immature. Most people find me attractive and I still refuse to "get in the game". Why? Because, I have self-respect and wouldn't let a guy like you get anywhere near me.

      You, on the other hand, must get all the ladies; how much do you pay them?

      December 16, 2010 at 17:42 | Report abuse |
    • michelle

      so you think anyone who doesnt agree is fat and ugly or something? wow. That's not true at all. I'm not a dog and most men like my looks and i dont "welcome attention" in fact, I dont like it when guys stare becuase they look like predators looking at prey and it's gross. It's uncomfortable. I'd rather have a guy come up to me and have a conversation than just stare and drool from over there.

      December 17, 2010 at 07:25 | Report abuse |
    • Brooke

      completely ridiculous. true everyone likes attention, not true everyone will stoop to slu8 level to achieve it. there are plenty of "hot chicks" earning their attention in other ways. (personal accomplishments that mean more than the attention you can receive by displaying your body) i have a strong intuition that many women of 'desired' weight, along with overweight, find you to be a

      December 20, 2010 at 23:08 | Report abuse |
  44. Lianna

    This was a great article and I could not agree more!!!

    December 16, 2010 at 15:52 | Report abuse | Reply
  45. Donze

    Is is me or does this seem to say "We always blame the girls, let just blame the boys now! Thier turn! Their turn!"... Parenting is the issue and its not centered on boys or girls, its centered on parenting alone.

    December 16, 2010 at 16:06 | Report abuse | Reply
  46. displeased

    I wonder what the woman in the picture does next.

    December 16, 2010 at 16:09 | Report abuse | Reply
    • michelle

      probably rolls over and goes to sleep lol

      December 17, 2010 at 07:26 | Report abuse |
  47. Satirev

    "Almost from birth, children model and imitate what they see at home."

    This statement follows the lines of the Blank Slate theory of the human mind which has been shown to be false. In fact his whole article seems to lean toward that optimistic theory. Biology drives society not the other way around. He needs to brush up on his neuroscience.

    December 16, 2010 at 16:16 | Report abuse | Reply
  48. jesus

    you all are retarded

    December 16, 2010 at 16:18 | Report abuse | Reply
  49. jesus

    you are all retarded

    December 16, 2010 at 16:19 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Yellowtail and Scallions


      December 17, 2010 at 11:17 | Report abuse |
  50. bri

    i personally think parents need to play a more active role in their kids lives. don't let the tv teach your kids

    December 16, 2010 at 16:47 | Report abuse | Reply
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