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November 18th, 2010
08:21 AM ET

The Sexpert: Memo to women: Please stop faking!

As a sex therapist, my profession often makes for interesting, and sometimes awkward, dinner conversation. Not too long ago I was at a cocktail party, when a woman in her mid-30s descended upon me. “Quick” she said in hushed tones, “My husband’s getting me a drink. We only have a few seconds. How do I get him to read your book, ‘She Comes First,’ without hurting his feelings?”

But before I could respond, or even think about my response, her husband sauntered over, draped his arm around her shoulder and chimed in, “Hey, you’re the guy who writes those sex books, right? I have just one question for you: why didn’t you pick me to be your co-author? I could have given you some secrets – right honey?” We all laughed, and as I made awkward eye contact with the wife, it was clear that she was the one with the real secret and it was going to stay that way.  And she’s not alone.

According to the recently published National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior 85 percent of men said that their partner had experienced an orgasm during their most recent sexual event, while only 64 percent of women reported actually having had an orgasm. The implication: Lots of women are faking it—and getting away with it.  And as we know from the famous “I’ll have what she’s having” scene in "When Harry Met Sally," men are easily hoodwinked.

But yet for all our “orgasmic naiveté,” men are often the first to be blamed as the source of such female fraudulence. On a recent episode of “The Joy Behar Show” titled, “Is There an Orgasm Gap?” the general consensus among the all-female panel was that men need to be better educated about female sexuality, and that faking is a necessary byproduct of the male ego and protecting a guy’s self-esteem.

Personally, I don’t buy it. If a tree falls in the woods and there’s no one there to hear it, does it make a sound? If a woman fakes it and her partner thinks she is actually enjoying the sex, is her dissatisfaction really heard?

Don’t get me wrong: As a sex and relationships counselor I’m all for education. I do believe that men get too many of their ideas about female sexuality from porn. There’s no shortage of legitimate reasons why a woman might not experience an orgasm during sex. “Find me a women’s magazine whose cover doesn’t include screaming headlines about the 764 varieties of orgasm every woman is supposed to be having each time she has sex,” writes my colleague Emily Nagoski in the Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms. “In reality, life gets in the way—stress, depression, anxiety, body image, performance anxiety (women get it too), sleep deprivation, feeling rushed (women average roughly 10-30 minutes to orgasm), all interfere with orgasm. So sometimes women fake it.”

But is Emily justified in justifying the occasional “fake-out”?

According to her, faking isn’t evil; it’s often a well-intentioned safeguard for her partner’s ego. “A woman is less likely to have orgasms early in a relationship—her body needs time to learn to trust a new partner and to relax into the knowledge that he accepts and appreciates her body,” she writes. “At the same time, if a woman likes her partner, she wants him to feel good about the relationship. If orgasm is a way she can show him she’s enjoying it, but orgasm just isn’t there for her yet, faking it is a completely viable option—as long as it doesn’t become a habit.”

I have always tended to agree with Emily (and scores of other professionals) on the legitimacy of the occasional fake-out, but with this latest study it seems that faking has become the little white lie that’s amounted to a culturally accepted form of deception.

So I’m reversing my opinion: Faking every now and then is not OK. Sure, talking about sex can be difficult; sure it’s easier to spare one’s feelings; and sure there are men who will respond defensively—but none of that actually justifies lying. Every time a woman fakes it for a legitimate reason, she undermines that legitimacy and loses an opportunity to communicate with her partner and deepen his understanding of their relationship.

And remember, ladies, what goes around comes around. As I wrote last week for this blog, more and more men are faking it too. So instead of faking it, let’s talk about sex. It isn’t always easy, but, in the end, not talking about sex is even harder. And for all the moaning and groaning, faking the big O is just a big conversation-stopper.

Ian Kerner is a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author. Read more from him at his website,GoodInBed.


soundoff (1,053 Responses)
  1. Work-a-holic

    AGAIN I AM A 23 YEAR OLD GUY, WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT BUT I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT YOU CAN FEEL WHEN IT GETS INTENSE. LIKE YOU CAN FEEL WHEN SHE IS ABOUT TO MOAN AND OR WHEN SHE IS REALLY HAVING A BIG O! NOT AS IN WET OR SQEEZING BUT AS IN A (FORCE) SENSE. SOMETHING LIKE THE STAR WARS FORCE. SOMETHING YOU CANT SEE OR RELATIVELY TOUCH BUT YOU CAN FEEL IT! AND I PROMISE OR SWEAR THAT YOU CAN CONTROL THE FEMALES BIG O TOO!! SOMETIMES IF YOU CONTROL IT JUST RIGHT THE BIG O CAN LAST FOR 5 MINUTES SOMETIMES AND THATS JUST ONE BIG O!! GUYS YOU NEED TO TRY IT!! ITS MORE OF MIND CONTROL THAN ANYTHING. BUT IT WORKS. TRUST ME!!

    November 18, 2010 at 14:33 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Nicole

      Is that force helping you find the cap locks button? No? Huh.

      November 18, 2010 at 14:47 | Report abuse |
    • Mike

      I'm overwhelmed with the urge to buy whatever energy drink you're selling.

      November 18, 2010 at 15:47 | Report abuse |
  2. Rompiglio

    I agree 100% with the author. Darling, please DON'T fake it! My male ego will be much better off, and I'll be much more motivated to understand and please you, if I know I can trust you to be HONEST with me. Lying is poisonous to a relationship!

    November 18, 2010 at 14:39 | Report abuse | Reply
  3. RckyMtnHigh

    My husband could care a less if I have an orgasm. As I've gotten older it takes longer for me, but not for him. I've even told him that he needs to focus some time on my orgasm. All women, without medical issues, can have orgasms. Men just need to put the time in to get them there, no pun intended. If your man isn't putting the time in, like my husband, then you might just have to give yourself an orgasm. I won't settle for one way orgasms anymore! Having sex is about giving pleasure to each other. Sometimes it takes some work. Personally, I can't think of any other work that is so satisfying!

    November 18, 2010 at 14:42 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Laura

      If your hubby cares so little about your O, I would care less about his, as in any, none, zero, bye bye. Nothing says I don't really care about you like being selfish in bed.

      November 18, 2010 at 14:54 | Report abuse |
  4. eric

    Women: Please stop TALKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    November 18, 2010 at 14:43 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Laura

      YOU – please hire a hooker until you can find some depth.

      November 18, 2010 at 14:55 | Report abuse |
  5. justin

    if you have to fake it you are with the wrong person

    November 18, 2010 at 14:44 | Report abuse | Reply
  6. Rita

    I've told my husband: I NEVER fake it. So he makes sure I have one, almost every time. If it does not come, that's ok, he is still the man, and I'm happy.

    November 18, 2010 at 14:47 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Translation

      *He* makes sure? Since when is *he* responsible for your orgasm?

      November 18, 2010 at 17:10 | Report abuse |
  7. claire voyente

    Married a loooooong time and have an orgasm every single time we have sex because I tell him exactly what feels good (or not). We've been together too long for hurt feelings and he knows what I like. He also understands the fluidity of what does it for me at the time – it is ever changing, so he listens and it ALWAYS turns out good for both.

    November 18, 2010 at 14:52 | Report abuse | Reply
  8. SomewhereOverTheRainbow

    I fake read the article.

    November 18, 2010 at 14:56 | Report abuse | Reply
  9. Marcus

    Lick it before you stick it.

    November 18, 2010 at 14:59 | Report abuse | Reply
  10. Aaron

    Just do what I do and make her squirt. That leaves no doubt and yes, any woman can be made to squirt.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:01 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Drew

      I think you have spent just a little too much time on the internet with a sock.

      November 18, 2010 at 15:29 | Report abuse |
  11. blahh

    some women need to lighten up and tell the guys what works for them. guys are not women and do not know what feels good to their counterparts. it might be embarrassing to tell your guy what feels right, but what are you doing in the first place? nothing is really that embarrassing if the two are in bed together. and if you're worried that the guy will have his "feelings" hurt if you tell him you fake it, then you're probably the sensitive one. he wants to make you feel good (normally) and he will hopefully work with you so the bedroom is home to a good experience for both parties.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:04 | Report abuse | Reply
  12. Scott

    I couldn't care less if she's faking or not. Her getting off isn't my responsibility. I work to enjoy the sex I have, if she doesn't want to put the effort into enjoying it... I can care less.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:05 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Laura

      I would bet a great deal you end up single, one way or the other.

      November 18, 2010 at 15:15 | Report abuse |
    • Mitsy

      You sound like a real winner. NOT.

      November 18, 2010 at 15:17 | Report abuse |
    • Translation

      Actually, you'll probably end up with a very responsible woman. (But other women hate to hear that)

      November 18, 2010 at 17:09 | Report abuse |
  13. Mike

    Had a girlfriend that would fake it every now and then but she was HORRIBLE at faking it. I knew she thought she was just being nice, so who cares. I thought the whole show was cute.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:05 | Report abuse | Reply
  14. LatinaLover

    It's sad to say but some women don't know how their bodies work. So how are they supposed to explain what they want from their lover? I have been the bearer of bad news by explaining to my boyfriend when he asked, did you go?, that I, in fact, did not "go." Overall, there's no such thing as too much communication. I've faked twice in my life.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:06 | Report abuse | Reply
  15. Jim

    If your faking it, then your lying. If your lying, your making it worse. Try being honest and helping your partner understand and please you so you both can enjoy it. Maybe, just maybe if you were honest and kind at the same time, your partner would be more likely to look to be a more effective lover. Yes, many are selfish and that won't change but if you have a selfish mate in bed, you didn't pay attention to begin with.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:09 | Report abuse | Reply
  16. Sara

    I agree! Stop faking it! It's for the better believe me. My last partner had an ego complex and I would fake it just to please him. It didn't start that way. The first few times when I didn't climax it was always "Whats wrong with you" or "You don't love me". So faking it became the only way to keep things level. Thankfully, I finally left the bum. I found someone who took his time and found what works best for me. Whenever I got frustrated, he would be the one to encourage me. So i married him. XD

    November 18, 2010 at 15:09 | Report abuse | Reply
  17. Diane

    I dont fake it ever but my guy does, he has mental ed, so when he is done going at it, or just tired he pretends he comes its a riot a d we both know it and have discussed it. Men and their ego's

    November 18, 2010 at 15:09 | Report abuse | Reply
  18. Corey

    If they show up to participate who cares!

    November 18, 2010 at 15:10 | Report abuse | Reply
  19. James

    I Really Don't Care If She Fakes It.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:12 | Report abuse | Reply
  20. Master Debater

    If she fakes it, oh well it's her loss I'm getting mine! 🙂

    November 18, 2010 at 15:13 | Report abuse | Reply
  21. Drew

    It is not hard at all to tell if a woman is faking, not that I have had to worry about that very much.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:15 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Jean

      You should.

      November 18, 2010 at 15:17 | Report abuse |
    • Drew

      Not worried as in my wife has an orgasm every time because I am that good.

      November 18, 2010 at 15:24 | Report abuse |
  22. Master Debater

    She told me she wanted 10 inches and want it to hurt...So I F"ed her twice and hit her over the head with a brick.... 😉

    November 18, 2010 at 15:16 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Rambo

      That's rude. Think how much she spends on her hair.

      November 18, 2010 at 15:19 | Report abuse |
    • Laura

      I think the bell rang for your next class, sport, better run off now, the grownups wont miss you.

      November 18, 2010 at 15:22 | Report abuse |
  23. Jean (male)

    I have no problem with a woman faking it. Her decision.
    If she doesn't want to fake it, then she should open a dialogue and help me take her there.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:16 | Report abuse | Reply
  24. Fay

    Quite frankly I think if women don't fake orgasms there would be a lot of unhappy partners because I don't think women have orgasms that often. Most are more into the intimacy of the act than anything else. But men are more gratified to hear the oral acknowledgement. I found that I have more orgasms with my partner when he performs oral sex on me rather than penile insertion.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:17 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Drew

      Clitoral stimulation is the key.

      November 18, 2010 at 15:22 | Report abuse |
  25. Master Debater

    I gave my wife a dildo for xmas last year, and I haven't seen her since 😉

    November 18, 2010 at 15:19 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Laura

      You should save your money for the divorce lawyer boy, you're going to need it.

      November 18, 2010 at 15:24 | Report abuse |
    • Master Debater

      I would divorce her, but I love my money too much 😉

      November 18, 2010 at 15:27 | Report abuse |
    • Laura

      Well, Mr. Ego, I meant that she would be divorcing you, which, I am sure this will be a shock to you, you have no say in. Hold your breath baby, you are that clod everyone talks about – and no one is impressed.

      November 18, 2010 at 15:58 | Report abuse |
    • Master Debater

      Oh I understand now! Well, it's my wish and dreams that as she's leaving out the back door, you'll be entering through the front door! I'll keep you posted with any luck we can bring sexy back together 😉

      November 18, 2010 at 16:19 | Report abuse |
    • Translation

      Ha! Perfect example of an angry, frustrated, defensive woman and a guy who keeps his sense of humor. 🙂 🙂

      November 18, 2010 at 17:07 | Report abuse |
  26. Drew

    Dry mouth, goose bumbs, and hard nipples. If she doesn't have two out of three she is faking.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:20 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Master Debater

      Sounds like she has the Bird Flu 😉

      November 18, 2010 at 15:25 | Report abuse |
  27. Hunter

    Girls, really, our egos are not all that fragile, really. Some men are intuitive enough to figure out what work for you and what doesn't, I am and faking it won't fool me, but I am not all men. For the most part we really do want to give you the best time of your life in bed but we just don't really know how unless you take the time to let us know. The notion the we should "Just know" is just silly. Where are we going to learn it from? Watching porn won't do it, the locker room from other guys ain't the place, most of them are just as clueless. For starters you need to know what you like your self, get comfortable with your own sexuality. You can't expect us to figure it out when you haven't.. Don't be afraid to experiment TOGETHER. And for God's sake try to get it some what nailed down BEFORE the first child arrives. Don't fake it, we can deal with the truth a lot easier than we can an often told lie and faking it is just that a lie that will get easier to keep telling than it will be to fess up ant tell the truth. That is where the damage is done. When we do finally realize you were faking it we have to confront a number of real unpleasant things all at once. Some qualifications here. If you two are just a one night stand and one of you will be gone before the sun comes up, fake away if he isn't doing it for you. If this is a long term relationship that you expect to last by all means don't lie to the dude. If he really gives a dam he will find out what it take to get you there and see to it that your get there as often as he can.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:21 | Report abuse | Reply
  28. David

    What is wrong with you people? Seriously, y'all make so much out of this.
    Lesson time for most of you: Sex usually (but not always) lasts 30 mins. to an hour or more. The woman will have so many org%sms that the bed is sopping wet afterwards and we have to sleep somewhere else. Start with foreplay, move on to oral, and take your time, mix it up, hit it hard, hit it soft, and then more oral. Tease her, make her beg. Make her wait and then give her more. Try not to climax yourself men, practice makes perfect. I can go for hours without one, which is the key my dear brothers. Men are made to shoot off fast, you have to teach your body otherwise. I don't know what is going on here, every woman I have ever been with must have been a sex fiend. There ain't no fakin' an org$sm when liquid comes shooting out of her 50 times in one hour. This ain't braggin' my friends, tis easy and FUN. A chick squirming and squirting herself silly is the absolute most awesome thing on Earth, tis better than eating or breathing. Good luck, have fun.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:22 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Drew

      If you don't have her toes curling within 30-35 minutes, you are trying too hard.

      November 18, 2010 at 15:26 | Report abuse |
  29. Christi

    Memo to men: LEARN HOW TO BE BETTER LOVERS AND WOMEN WON'T FAKE ORGASMS.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:23 | Report abuse | Reply
    • ABE

      Memo to Christi: Your general attitude and demeanor (and the similar posts from other women) are exactly why men act the way they do. It is exactly the reason that men have the attitude "if I don't make her "O" then I won't be a good lover." Consequently, since men are now taking this issue as a matter of pride - women fake it.

      As soon as women (like yourselves), TV, Media, et al, quit trying to pound this idea into men's heads - the sooner men don't feel like we're being graded every time there is intimacy. As brought up in previous posts, there seem to be legitimate reasons why women fake it. Hell, the one woman said she faked it so she didn't feel like she was being assaulted.

      My personal opinion, not that it matters is when you boil it all down: the attitude that women are dishing out about how you fail your woman as a lover unless you get her to "O," is now coming back to bite all of you in the ass.

      -ABE

      November 18, 2010 at 15:33 | Report abuse |
    • Master Debater

      Only if you chicks stop being so FAKE! I will go on record by saying "I would never kick you out of bed" 😉

      November 18, 2010 at 15:45 | Report abuse |
    • Rambo

      Memo to Christi: Women who fake are telling men that being a bad lover is okay.

      November 18, 2010 at 16:06 | Report abuse |
    • Translation

      Women don't communicate what they want. They emote endlessly about their feelings, their shoes, their mothers, their phones, their lunch...(blah, blah, blah). Men just go after what they want and get it . That's why men don't need to fake it.

      November 18, 2010 at 17:05 | Report abuse |
  30. David

    And don't forget the buttons, one is on the outside on top of the vertical smile and the other is on the inside hidden behind a thin membrane of lovely pink flesh. The second one takes some coaxing on down, but once it is there and plump it makes her explode over and over again. Also, I find a di(do in use on her while doin' oral gets them warmed up very fast. This should take at least 10 mins. or more, depends on how badly she wants you to put it in. I personally make them wait.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:25 | Report abuse | Reply
    • StopGo

      Are you free tonight?

      November 18, 2010 at 15:35 | Report abuse |
    • Master Debater

      I'm never free, but I'll make some time for you 😉

      November 18, 2010 at 15:38 | Report abuse |
  31. Jeff D

    Here's a suggestion: How about each of us taking personal responsibility for our own climax? If the largest sex organ on the human body is the brain, then the absence of a climax is not lack of physical stimulation but the absence of adequate mental stimulation.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:26 | Report abuse | Reply
  32. Master Debater

    I bet if I had 2 hours a case of K-Y and a crowbar, I could make her orgasm 😉

    November 18, 2010 at 15:31 | Report abuse | Reply
  33. dgmgdm

    superficial people don't deserve orgasms

    November 18, 2010 at 15:32 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Rambo

      They don't, but they do deserve other superficial people.
      And they get them, which is quite nice.

      November 18, 2010 at 16:16 | Report abuse |
  34. JDizzleloverII

    JDizzle McHammerpants, where are you when I need you?

    November 18, 2010 at 15:33 | Report abuse | Reply
  35. John

    One of the things my wife told me when we were still dating is that A) she doesn't have orgasms when she has sex and B) it isn't my job to fix her and C) She loves having sex. All three of these things are true and we have a great sex life. Not sure what all the fuss is about. Peace, out.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:34 | Report abuse | Reply
  36. SncrDerelict

    I don't care. Fake it if you want to. I'm still getting what I came for...

    November 18, 2010 at 15:34 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Master Debater

      Good point 😉

      November 18, 2010 at 15:37 | Report abuse |
  37. Master Debater

    She said do me and make me scream, so I made love to her then I wiped my penis off on her new curtains 😉

    November 18, 2010 at 15:36 | Report abuse | Reply
  38. David

    You sound like a lil' b$tch ABE, stop talking to Christi like that. No wonder you so bitter, you ain't got no game boy.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:40 | Report abuse | Reply
    • ABE

      Bitter? Negative. I just don't appreciate comments that I beleive to be part of the problem. I stated my opinion and you stated, well nothing.

      Thanks for the informative post David.

      November 18, 2010 at 15:45 | Report abuse |
    • Master Debater

      ROFLMAO

      November 18, 2010 at 15:47 | Report abuse |
  39. Master Debater

    Fake hair, Fake boobs, Fake nails, Fake eyelashes, Fake lips… Hmmm I’m starting to see a pattern here with you chicks 😉

    November 18, 2010 at 15:42 | Report abuse | Reply
  40. arrow2fast

    I think it is women' fault!
    I am a woman, I never fake it and this is WHY I have a very satisfying sex with orgasm 99% of the time.
    Because I refused to fake anything, my husband adjusted his behaviour – he learned. In the beginning, when he failed, I let him know very clearly how miserable I was.
    Had I faked the orgasm instead, he most likely would never bother to improve.
    Now we are both very happy and his ego is just fine!

    November 18, 2010 at 15:45 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Wow

      Wow... I can tell by how you articulate that post you are about YOU in the sack, not him. Its "His failure" and "you are miserable." Frankly I bet he really needs a BJ. Just saying, be a giver not a taker.

      November 18, 2010 at 15:49 | Report abuse |
    • Master Debater

      I guess if you punched me in the nuts, I’d act right as well…Good Job! 😉

      November 18, 2010 at 15:54 | Report abuse |
  41. Chaz

    A fake orgasm is an example of poor inter relationship communication. To have great sex, it requires good communication between partners. Simple as that.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:45 | Report abuse | Reply
  42. David

    Man, now you people got me thinkin' about my wife and I am still at work. I called her and she promised me she would play with herself between 2:45 and 3:00 (she's home you pervs). So I got to go for a bit and concentrate really hard on what she is feeling and thinking. Psychic energy, please travel slightly North northwest 3 miles and stop at City Hall. I am waiting.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:46 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Master Debater

      Thanks David! Now is that AM or PM? 😉

      November 18, 2010 at 15:48 | Report abuse |
  43. Mikey

    first of all, i am one of those guys who LOVES~~~ sex!
    i love it so much, i learned to be good at it, by reading magazines, talking to other females friends, and most IMPORTANT one to ask is your current partner. I have experienced so many different ways to make different females to have a or many orgasms during our ONE session of intercourse, it will never be able to be accomplished without having good communication skills, and of course the courage to be honest. Here is a great tip for you women and men out there, remember is ALWAYS the little things when it comes to sex, very very little things, finger tips, tongues, words, hair, neck, back, massages, aromas, all of that, and it indicates that YOU LOVE this person. That should do it! =) yay yay! orgasm! yay yay! orgasm! hahahaaa

    November 18, 2010 at 15:47 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Indri

      Yay yay orgasm!–you sound like a lot of fun. You go with your bad self 🙂

      November 19, 2010 at 05:44 | Report abuse |
  44. Rob

    Yep, I'm a guy in my late 20s and I've faked it with at least 3-4 different girls. Sometimes rather than hurt their feelings because I was bored it was better to fake it and move on. Many women think anything can make a guy climax, true if you have little experience. However, if you've been around the block a bit you need and appreciate good "talents". One girl found out I faked it with her and it crushed her self images, regardless of me saying it was not her it was me. At least this is my two cents on the matter.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:48 | Report abuse | Reply
  45. steveo

    If a guy can't tell his partner is having a real orgasm or a fake one then I have no sympathy for him.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:48 | Report abuse | Reply
  46. Milkman

    It's easy to get your partner to do what pleases you.

    First: Avoid being negative about the situation. You want to avoid any criticism. Criticism and negativity are not the way to handle a sensitive subject. Examples: "That was the worst blowjob ever", "I didn't really get off when you did that thing", etc. BAD. I told a girlfriend once that was the worst blowjob ever, just as a joke.. and do you think I ever got a blowjob again from her? Hell no. I was a dope. My lesson is now passed on to you.

    Second: Instead of emphasizing the negative, emphasize the POSITIVE. Tell your partner what she (or he) is doing that you LIKE. If you're getting head, and she's doing that hand twisting motion while going down and it's doing something for you – TELL HER. Tell her what she's doing right then is effing AMAZING. Let her know how much it pleases you and makes you feel good when she does "x". Be SPECIFIC. "Oh god baby when you use your hand and mouth at the same time it makes me go crazy for you!"

    Last: Be assertive and tell your partner what you like. If her blowjobs aren't doing it for you – and let's face it – most women's blowjobs aren't that great – just tell her what you like. Again, WITHOUT CRITICIZING or being negative. Just ignore anything she's doing wrong and tell her "Can you try this for a sec? I really like it... and I'll have a surprise for you in return"

    Using these 3 principles I have trained every girlfriend I've ever had over the last several years to give amaaaaazing blowjobs. And in return I do the same for them and perform my patented "Screaming Kitty" move on them. lol

    I like this columnist's advice of "let's talk about it", but people don't know how to talk about such a... sticky situation...pun intended! So I wanted to bring you my tried and true advice.

    Any of this advice will work for girlfriends who are looking for their guy to do a better job in the sack as well.

    If you enjoyed my advice check my site out:
    http://www.ConfessionsOfAManwhore.com
    -Milkman

    November 18, 2010 at 15:49 | Report abuse | Reply
  47. 3Sigma

    Women fake everything else from height to lip color. What's a little more deceit?

    November 18, 2010 at 15:50 | Report abuse | Reply
  48. David

    ABE, you have less than 5 dont you. Sorry bro, t'aint much you can do with that. Im sure it hurts. But, alas, I wouldnt know about such things. Oh and dont start with the motion of the ocean. If a guy is hung and don't know what he is doin, a determined woman can make something with that. But... if you less than 5, all the skills in world won't make a difference. You can't play craps with only one dice.
    Re-read my post ABE, and try it. It ain't about you and your one pop off. It is about her. Any of you men who say otherwise deserve the lonely pathetic existence you know as your life. Women are complicated and desired. You have to earn her and keep her through vigilance, patience, and above all, ATTENTION to details.
    Now go be a d*psh*t somewhere else. You are distracting me from picking up on my wife nutting 3 miles across town. I wonder is she is squirting yet?

    November 18, 2010 at 15:51 | Report abuse | Reply
  49. David

    Right now masterblaster, lol.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:53 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Master Debater

      LOL wait a second I'm on the west coast, so it's 12:58pm here.....Let's see right now it's 4:00pm in NY, damn never mind, way too much to figure out....LOL 😉 thanks anyway!

      November 18, 2010 at 15:58 | Report abuse |
  50. andrea Laird

    how for heavens sake. I always tell my man if I'm not having one. In 4 and a half years I've NEVER lied about that...and I make him make sure I get one! Just open your mouths and tell your man what you want ladies!!! He WANTS to please you, he just doesn't know how sometimes hahahaha.

    November 18, 2010 at 15:54 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Mike

      How about open your mouth and I'LL tell you what I want. Ha ha funny me.

      November 18, 2010 at 15:57 | Report abuse |
    • Master Debater

      Mike that was very rude, but funny as hell LOL 😉

      November 18, 2010 at 16:00 | Report abuse |
    • andrea Laird

      oh lord. Agreed, rude but it did make me laugh. XP

      November 18, 2010 at 16:02 | Report abuse |
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Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love.