October 21st, 2010
12:45 PM ET
Why you should have sex at least once a week
Couples often ask me how frequently they should be having sex, and, until recently, I’ve always responded that there’s no one right answer. After all, a couple’s sex life is affected by so many different factors: age, lifestyle, each partner’s health and natural libido and, of course, the quality of their overall relationship to name just a few.
What might seem like too much sex to one person may seem like too little to another: (Remember that scene in Annie Hall, in which Woody Allen and Diane Keaton are discussing their sex life, split-screen, with their respective therapists? Asks Woody’s therapist, “How often do you sleep together?” To which he responds: “Hardly ever. Maybe three times a week.” Meanwhile, Diane Keaton’s therapist is asking her the very same question, and she replies, “Constantly. I'd say three times a week.”)
Every couple have to find their own middle ground. As my colleague and fellow contributor to Good in Bed, Dr. Gail Saltz, says: “If your sex drives are out of balance, your aim is to meet in the middle, having sex a bit more than one partner likes but probably a bit less than the other likes.”
So while there may be no one right answer to the question of how often couples should have sex, lately I’ve somewhat been less equivocal and advising couples to try to do it at least once a week. That’s because I believe that sex ruts are becoming epidemic. Not long ago CNN reported that 40 million Americans are stuck in sexless marriages, and in my own practice I’ve seen an increase in sex ruts and low-desire relationships due to a number of factors:
Sex seems to be rapidly falling to the bottom of America’s to-do list but, in my experience, when couples stop having sex their relationships become vulnerable: to anger, detachment, infidelity and, ultimately, divorce. I believe that sex matters: It’s the glue that keeps us together and, without it, couples become “good friends” at best or “bickering roommates” at worst.
Beyond the fact that sex is fun and free and enables couples to stay tuned in and turned on, what are some other reasons to do it this week?
So go ahead and break that rut! Sex is a little like exercise. Once we stop doing it, it’s easy to get stuck in a slump, but once we get back on track, we remember how much we missed it. The old adage “use it or lose it” has some truth. So does my suggestion, “try it, you'll like it.” It's easy to forget how much fun sex can be, and just having sex once a week will put you back in a regular groove.
And if you’re stuck in a sex rut, think about the following:
1. Exercise and eat right. Your sexual health is connected to your overall health, and it's no surprise that people who have sex more frequently are also healthier overall. If you're too tired for sex, it probably means you're too tired in other areas as well, and that you're not taking care of yourself as much as you should be.
2. Minimize stress. Not only does stress release cortisol, which inhibits testosterone, but studies have also shown that for a woman to want to have sex (and to enjoy it) parts of the female brain associated with outside stressors need to deactivate. So figure out what's stressing you out and put together a plan with your partner to deal with it.
3. Turn off (your computers), so you have some time to tune in to your partner and turn on. When you look at all of the precious time that gets sucked up by Facebook, surfing the Web, and email, no wonder you're plopping into bed exhausted and spent.
4. Give your partner a hug. Non-sexual physical intimacy builds a foundation for sexual desire. Studies show that a 20-second hug raises oxytocin levels. Oxytocin is also known as the “cuddle hormone” and facilitates a sense of love and connection, especially in women. Most couples don’t take the time to hug at all, much less for 20 seconds.
In the end, remember, if you want to have a satisfying sex life, you have to have the sort of relationship that supports your sex life. Studies show that the difference between those relationships that succeed and those that fail is the ability to have a high ratio of positive to negative interactions. It’s actually believed that the ratio should be 5 to 1 — five positive interactions for every negative one. Of course, you can’t go through life tallying every interaction, but you can know whether you’re fundamentally in positive or negative territory and start swinging the pendulum back to where it belongs.
Like the Nike ad says, Just do it!
Ian Kerner is a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author. Read more from him at his website, GoodInBed.
About this blog
Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love.
Xem Trực Tiếp Viettel Vs Tỉnh Bình Dương Tại V League 2021 Ở Kênh Nào? fpt88Đội tuyển chọn futsal nước Việt Nam đã được một trận đấu chấp nhận được trước phe đối lập đầy mức độ mạnh Lebanon. Kết trái Bà Rịa-Vũng Tàu vs Bình Phước ngày hôm nay 18h00 ngày 5/5, Hạng nhất Việt Nam.
Great blog you have got here.. Itís difficult to find excellent writing like yours these days. I honestly appreciate people like you! Take care!!
I really liked your post.Much thanks again.
Xoilac Tv Trực Tiếp đá Bóng kèo nhà cái chấm netĐội tuyển chọn nước Việt Nam chỉ cần thiết một kết quả hòa có bàn thắng để lần loại hai góp mặt tại World Cup futsal. Nhưng, nhằm thực hiện được điều đó
Xoilac Tv Thẳng đá Bóng ae88Đội tuyển chọn futsal Việt Nam đã có được một trận đấu chấp nhận được trước phe đối lập đầy mức độ mạnh Lebanon. Kết quả Bà Rịa-Vũng Tàu vs Bình Phước thời điểm hôm nay 18h00 ngày 5/5, Hạng nhất Việt Nam.
Trực Tiếp đá Bóng Việt Nam Vs Lebanon. Xem Truc Tiep Bong Da. Futsal Việt NamsoikeoplusNếu cứ nghịch như cách vừa tiêu diệt Everton tới 3-1 trên Sảnh khách hàng
Thông Tin, Sự Khiếu Nại Liên Quan Đến Trực Tiếp Soccer Phái Nữ 12betĐội tuyển chọn futsal nước Việt Nam đã có một trận đấu chấp nhận được trước đối thủ đầy mức độ mạnh Lebanon. Kết trái Bà Rịa-Vũng Tàu vs Bình Phước hôm nay 18h00 ngày 5/5, Hạng nhất Việt Nam.
Hello! I simply want to offer you a big thumbs up for your great information you've got right here on this post. I am coming back to your blog for more soon.
Custom Dab Mathttps://www.posts123.com/user/786283/monkeyocean6All products intended for use with legal smoking/vaping mixtures only .
Xoilac Tv Thẳng Bóng Đá danh baiĐội tuyển Việt Nam chỉ cần thiết một kết quả hòa có bàn thắng để lần thứ hai góp mặt tại World Cup futsal. Nhưng, để thực hiện được điều này
I used to be able to find good advice from your articles.
Xoilac Tv Trực Tiếp Soccerliverpool bao moiNếu cứ nghịch như cách vừa tiêu diệt Everton cho tới 3-1 trên sân khách
Xoilac Tv Thẳng đá Bóng soi keo nha caiĐội tuyển Việt Nam chỉ muốn một kết quả hòa có bàn thắng để lần thứ hai góp mặt trên World Cup futsal. Nhưng, để thực hiện được điều đó
Xoilac Tv Trực Tiếp Soccer fb88Đội tuyển chọn Việt Nam chỉ cần một kết trái hòa có bàn thắng nhằm lần thứ hai góp mặt tại World Cup futsal. Nhưng, nhằm làm được như vậy
Pretty! This has been a really wonderful article. Many thanks for supplying these details.
I would like to thank you for the efforts you've put in penning this website. I really hope to view the same high-grade content from you in the future as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my own website now 😉
I was excited to uncover this web site. I wanted to thank you for ones time just for this wonderful read!! I definitely loved every bit of it and i also have you bookmarked to see new things in your site.
i love this delta 8 gummies
this is some good content u got here bro !! delta 8 thc gummies
this is good ! i like it ! thc gummies
Grade AA+ SSD Chemical Solution ,,,,,,+27768478618 For Cleaning and Washing Coated Fake Notes in Gauteng, Limpopo, Free State, KwaZulu-Natal, OMAN Northern Cape, Eastern Cape, Mpumalanga, North West, United States, United Kingdom, Australia, Austria, Belgium, Austria ,,,,,,+27768478618 Grade AA+ SSD Chemical Solution ,,,,,,+27768478618 For Cleaning and Washing Coated Fake Notes in Gauteng, Limpopo, Free State, KwaZulu-Natal, Northern Cape, Eastern Cape, Mpumalanga, North West, United States, United Kingdom, Australia, Austria, Belgium, Australia, Malaysia, Kenya, England, German, Spain, Jamaica, Brazil, Germany, Denmark, Wales, France, Norway, Sweden, Sweden, Denmark, Poland, Canada, South Africa, South Sudan, Sudan, Switzerland, Swaziland, Armenia, Belgium, Botswana, Zambia, Mauritius, Mauritania, Bahamas, Malta, Netherlands, Nepal, New Zealand, Reunion Island, Croatia, Cyprus, Finland, Fiji, Greenland, Georgia, Guam, Guyana, Hungary, Iceland, Ireland, Italy, Luxembourg, Lithuania, Tuvalu, Uganda, Virgin Islands (U.S.), Virgin Islands (British), Vanuatu, Zimbabwe, Birmingham, Bristol, Manchester, Cardiff, Edinburgh, Glasgow, York, Belfast, Sheffield, City of London, Cambridge, Nottingham, Oxford, Newcastle, Leeds, Bath, Coventry, Portsmouth, Aberdeen, Leicester, Brighton, Plymouth, Southampton, Swansea, Plymouth, Kingston upon Hull, Wolverhampton, Derby, Stock City, Exeter, Norwich, Nottingham, Nottinghamshire, Westminster, Winchester, Worcester, Worcestershire, Inverness, Durham, Dundee, City of Westminster, Reading, Salisbury, Bradford, Newport, Brighton and Hove, Lincoln, Perth, Londonderry, Chichester, Chester, Greater Manchester, St Albans, Peterborough, Lisburn, Gloucester, Bristol.,,,,,,+27768478618 As one of the fastest growing money cleaning company in world, we offer smart SSD solutions and as our company is still growing and innovating. Running successfully from Last 10 years with Indian and Foreign experts with State Of the Art labs and machines. We offer the Cheapest Chemicals on% Bases All Over the World. We have a variety of SSD chemicals that can clean out your deface Notes perfectly, Black Note, Red Notes, Green Notes, Stained Notes, Stamped Notes & Also Coded Notes. We also Melt Frozen Chemicals in our dispensary and our services are professional and Genuine. We lease out cleaning machines worldwide and we can work on commission basis. Expert Agents Available to travel worldwide. Our 3D laser automatic black money cleaning machine is available for rent / hire / sales to perform any defaced blackened money cleaning both local and international. We’ll travel our expert technician with this machine to your country anywhere. Activation powder refers to a reactivation member of the SSD chemical products which is been pour and rob all over damaged notes; bills like USD and blacks EURO, POUNDS, transferring colours from used note to new white bills. Please inform us immediately on Call: ,,,,,,+27768478618 United Kingdom, United States, Mexico, Italy, Brazil, Poland, Denmark, Belgium, Canada, Germany, Honduras, South Africa, Uganda, Slovakia, Slovenia, Russia, Argentina, Armenia, Ukrainian, Costa Rica, Iceland, Philippines, France, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Australia, Austria, Bahamas, Andorra, Antigua and Barbuda, Barbados, Belarus, Bolivia, Brunei, British Virgin Islands, Czech Republic, Dominica, Dominican Republic, Ecuador, Finland, Scotland, Fiji, Faroe Islands, Falkland Islands, Georgia, North Macedonia and All Countries. Please inform us immediately on Email: KONKOMEB234@GMAIL.COM Or Call:,,,,,+27768478618 Careers ,,,,,,++27768478618 SSD CHEMICAL… ,,,,,,+27768478618 SSD CHEMICAL SOLUTION 4 SALE IN NORTHERN CAPE,EASTERN CAPE,KIMBERLEY,KURUMAN,EAST LONDON,QUEENSTOWN,PORT ELIZABETH,KING WILLIAMS TOWN,UPINGTON @LIMPOPO SSD CHEMICAL SOLUTION IN SOUTH AFRICA,,,,,,+27768478618)),!!ssd chemical in kuwait,,,,,,+27768478618 ,buy ssd chemical in uk ,,,,,,++27768478618 , ssd chemical in dubai,,,,,,+27768478618 ,ssd chemical in qator ,,,,,,+27768478618,ssd chemical in germany,,,,,,+27768478618,ssd chemical in brazil,,,,,,+27768478618, Cape Town Centurion Durban East LondonGeorge Germiston Ibhayi Johannesburg Katlehong Kempton Park Khayelitsha Kimberley Nelspruit Newcastle Pietermaritzburg Pinetown Polokwane Port Elizabeth Potchefstroom Pretoria Randburg Roodepoort Rustenburg Sebokeng Soshanguve Soweto Springbok Stellenbosch Tembisa Vanderbijlpark Vereeniging Welkom Witbank Eastern Cape Free State Gauteng KwaZulu-Natal Limpopo Mpumalanga Zambia, Zimbabwe in Johannesburg, London, England, UK, USA, California, South Africa, Cape Town, Pretoria,+27768478618 Zambia, Lusaka, Zimbabwe, Harare, Namibia, Windhoek, Botswana Call to purchase Best SSD Solution Clean Black Notes Dollars WE ALSO? SALE CHEMICALS LIKE SSD AUTOMATIC SOLUTION FORM CLEANING BLACK DOLLARS CURRENCIES. I hereby use this media to inform you, that our company can clean out black deface currency, (stained money) bank notes, We have all kinds of chemicals used for cleaning of black money or stained money in currencies such as U. S Dollar, Euro, Pound, and all local currencies, even if your defaced note is 25 years old, WE SALE CHEMICALS LIKE TOURMALINE, S. S. D. Chemical / Solution , CASTRO X OXIDE, A4. AND MANY Like ACTIVATION POWDER & SSD SOLUTION FOR CLEANING BLACK MONEY Chemical and Allied product incorporated is a major manufacturer of industrial and pharmaceutical products with key specialization in the production of S. S. D Automatic solution used in the cleaning of black money, defaced money and stained bank notes with anti-breeze quality. OTHERS FOR DAMAGED NOTES, BILLS LIKE USD,EURO,,,,,,+27768478618
Awsome info and right to the point. I am not sure if this is actually the best place to ask but do you people have any ideea where to hire some professional writers? Thank you 🙂
Happy blogiversary!! https://www.oneline666.com/