 |
|
|
|
October 21st, 2010
12:45 PM ET
Why you should have sex at least once a weekCouples often ask me how frequently they should be having sex, and, until recently, I’ve always responded that there’s no one right answer. After all, a couple’s sex life is affected by so many different factors: age, lifestyle, each partner’s health and natural libido and, of course, the quality of their overall relationship to name just a few. What might seem like too much sex to one person may seem like too little to another: (Remember that scene in Annie Hall, in which Woody Allen and Diane Keaton are discussing their sex life, split-screen, with their respective therapists? Asks Woody’s therapist, “How often do you sleep together?” To which he responds: “Hardly ever. Maybe three times a week.” Meanwhile, Diane Keaton’s therapist is asking her the very same question, and she replies, “Constantly. I'd say three times a week.”) Every couple have to find their own middle ground. As my colleague and fellow contributor to Good in Bed, Dr. Gail Saltz, says: “If your sex drives are out of balance, your aim is to meet in the middle, having sex a bit more than one partner likes but probably a bit less than the other likes.” So while there may be no one right answer to the question of how often couples should have sex, lately I’ve somewhat been less equivocal and advising couples to try to do it at least once a week. That’s because I believe that sex ruts are becoming epidemic. Not long ago CNN reported that 40 million Americans are stuck in sexless marriages, and in my own practice I’ve seen an increase in sex ruts and low-desire relationships due to a number of factors:
Sex seems to be rapidly falling to the bottom of America’s to-do list but, in my experience, when couples stop having sex their relationships become vulnerable: to anger, detachment, infidelity and, ultimately, divorce. I believe that sex matters: It’s the glue that keeps us together and, without it, couples become “good friends” at best or “bickering roommates” at worst. Beyond the fact that sex is fun and free and enables couples to stay tuned in and turned on, what are some other reasons to do it this week?
So go ahead and break that rut! Sex is a little like exercise. Once we stop doing it, it’s easy to get stuck in a slump, but once we get back on track, we remember how much we missed it. The old adage “use it or lose it” has some truth. So does my suggestion, “try it, you'll like it.” It's easy to forget how much fun sex can be, and just having sex once a week will put you back in a regular groove. And if you’re stuck in a sex rut, think about the following: 1. Exercise and eat right. Your sexual health is connected to your overall health, and it's no surprise that people who have sex more frequently are also healthier overall. If you're too tired for sex, it probably means you're too tired in other areas as well, and that you're not taking care of yourself as much as you should be. 2. Minimize stress. Not only does stress release cortisol, which inhibits testosterone, but studies have also shown that for a woman to want to have sex (and to enjoy it) parts of the female brain associated with outside stressors need to deactivate. So figure out what's stressing you out and put together a plan with your partner to deal with it. 3. Turn off (your computers), so you have some time to tune in to your partner and turn on. When you look at all of the precious time that gets sucked up by Facebook, surfing the Web, and email, no wonder you're plopping into bed exhausted and spent. 4. Give your partner a hug. Non-sexual physical intimacy builds a foundation for sexual desire. Studies show that a 20-second hug raises oxytocin levels. Oxytocin is also known as the “cuddle hormone” and facilitates a sense of love and connection, especially in women. Most couples don’t take the time to hug at all, much less for 20 seconds. In the end, remember, if you want to have a satisfying sex life, you have to have the sort of relationship that supports your sex life. Studies show that the difference between those relationships that succeed and those that fail is the ability to have a high ratio of positive to negative interactions. It’s actually believed that the ratio should be 5 to 1 — five positive interactions for every negative one. Of course, you can’t go through life tallying every interaction, but you can know whether you’re fundamentally in positive or negative territory and start swinging the pendulum back to where it belongs. Like the Nike ad says, Just do it! Ian Kerner is a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author. Read more from him at his website, GoodInBed. |
  About this blog
Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love.
 |
|
|
|
https://fcviktoria.cz/media_show.asp?id=2924&id_clanek=2467&media=0&type=1&url=https://fleetvehiclerepairshop.com/van-upholstery-shop-near-me
https://fast.accesstrade.com.vn/deep_link/4498810930962836187?url=https://ocrv.us/rv-repair-shop-toluca-lake-california
bookmarked!!, I love your site!
https://logic.pdmi.ras.ru/csr2011/modules/pubdlcnt/pubdlcnt.php?file=https://youtube.com/watch?v=t-Nz7FcETyM
Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude! Thanks, However I am going through problems with your RSS. I don’t know why I am unable to join it. Is there anyone else getting similar RSS problems? Anyone that knows the answer can you kindly respond? Thanx!!
http://tbsa.so-buy.com/front/bin/adsclick.phtml?Nbr=11promotion_700x120&URL=https://commercialrepairshop.com/van-restoration-shop-near-me
http://www.ia.omron.com/view/log/redirect/index.cgi?url=https://youtube.com/watch?v=YigElSwy83I
https://www.cropscience.bayer.ca/?setlanguage=en&returnUrl=https://ocrv.org/class-6-truck-collision-repair-shop-near-me
Good site you have here.. It’s hard to find high quality writing like yours these days. I honestly appreciate individuals like you! Take care!!
https://router.usconcealedcarry.com/auth/invalidate?redirectTo=https://sprintervanrepairshop.com/rv-maintenance-shop-near-me
https://surveys.montclair.edu/survey/preview.jsp?surveyid=1326825217719&url=https://ocrvexperts.com/motorhome-bathroom-repair-near-me
https://www.rpspayroll.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=yelp.com/biz/ocrv-center-yorba-linda
This blog was... how do you say it? Relevant!! Finally I've found something that helped me. Thanks a lot!
http://adnet.infonet.com.br/get/ad.dll/click?codigo=2259&secao=460&url=http://youtube.com/watch?v=h-q89RmKvrI
This is a topic which is close to my heart... Take care! Exactly where are your contact details though?
http://www.xiguaji.com/service/link/?url=https://youtube.com/watch?v=enXvz4Zh5V4
http://edgecg.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=youtube.com/channel/UCCWA5o3d2u11KvEjA3wLVUA/videos
https://bibliopam.ec-lyon.fr/fork?https://sprintervanrepairshop.com/gmc-cargo-van-repair-shop-near-me
Greetings! Very useful advice in this particular article! It is the little changes that produce the most important changes. Many thanks for sharing!
http://cn.onkyo.com/2018newsite/newonkyo.html?url=https://sprintervanrepairshop.com/ram-luxury-van-repair-shop-near-me
I blog often and I genuinely appreciate your information. Your article has really peaked my interest. I'm going to bookmark your site and keep checking for new details about once per week. I subscribed to your RSS feed too.
http://cn.onkyo.com/2018newsite/newonkyo.html?url=https://ocrvcenter.org/motorhome-camera-repair-near-me
After looking at a number of the blog articles on your website, I really appreciate your technique of blogging. I saved it to my bookmark website list and will be checking back soon. Please visit my web site as well and let me know how you feel.
https://trends.gab.com/visit?url=https://ocrv.world/rv-repair-shop-calabasas-california
http://localbusiness.starnewsonline.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=youtube.com/watch?v=o6Uo8ZWSewA
http://www.aslplayerservices.org/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=meganleary.com
homework help precalculus best buy essay website customer service for business plan pay someone to do your essay australia
http://taca.siam2web.com/change_language.asp?language_id=th&MemberSite_session=site_100782_&link=http://club-maserati.com
Good post. I learn something new and challenging on sites I stumbleupon on a daily basis. It's always helpful to read content from other writers and use something from their sites.
http://love.okchatroom.com/lovelove/link.php?url=https://meganleary.com/
https://www.iacconline.org/Redirect.aspx?destination=https://meganleary.com/
You are so awesome! I do not think I've read a single thing like that before. So wonderful to find someone with unique thoughts on this topic. Really.. thanks for starting this up. This web site is something that is needed on the internet, someone with some originality!
http://wamu.style.coocan.jp/click/click3.cgi?cnt=counter&url=https://ocrvmotorsports.com/
http://www.medipana.com/include/bn_ct.asp?tg_url=http://meganleary.com/&tg_idx1=L&tg_idx2=1
https://trends.gab.com/visit?url=https://ocrvexperts.com/
http://mytown.ie/log_outbound.php?business=118705&type=website&url=http://arizonasvision.com
When I originally commented I seem to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on every time a comment is added I receive 4 emails with the exact same comment. Perhaps there is a way you are able to remove me from that service? Kudos!
http://best-gyousei.com/rank.cgi?mode=link&id=1649&url=http://meganleary.com/
This web site really has all of the information and facts I needed about this subject and didn’t know who to ask.
http://www.doctor-navi.com/cgi/hospital-search-engine2/rank.cgi?mode=link&id=14979&url=https://arizonasvision.com
Your style is so unique compared to other people I have read stuff from. Many thanks for posting when you've got the opportunity, Guess I'll just book mark this blog.
http://www.rucsh.org/home/link.php?url=http://www.arizonasvision.com
https://www.guru-pon.jp/search/rank.cgi?mode=link&id=107&url=https://club-maserati.com/
I am curious to find out what blog system you are working with? I'm having some small security problems with my latest blog and I would like to find something more secure. Do you have any suggestions?
http://www.cardboardboxes.tk/
http://gb-www.digitimes.com.tw/gate/gb/arizonasvision.com/
Hi there! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but after browsing through a few of the articles I realized it’s new to me. Anyways, I’m definitely delighted I stumbled upon it and I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back frequently!
https://www.brandonsun.com/s?action=editReg&rurl=http://arizonasvision.com/
An impressive share! I have just forwarded this onto a co-worker who had been conducting a little homework on this. And he actually bought me dinner due to the fact that I found it for him... lol. So let me reword this.... Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanks for spending some time to discuss this matter here on your blog.
http://www.artshub.com.au/job-apply-external/?ListingId=227894&ApplyUrl=https://ocrvcenter.net/
I was married for 16 years to a loving mother and wife. We had 2 children together who are now 11 & 13. I reconnected with an old girlfriend from college of mine on Facebook and we began an affair and I left my wife. The woman I had an affair with is a wonderful woman and I love her too and our kids had begun accepting the situation and my wife has kind of moved on, but not in love with the man she is seeing. I thought I fell out of love with my wife and I felt terrible about what I did to her – she is a good woman and I don't know what came over me. I decided to try and get her back and I was recommended to Lord Zakuza for help to get reunited with my wife and within 48 hours after I made contact with Lord Zakuza my wife decided to work things out with me and now we are back together with our children living as one happy family. I really don't know the words to use in appreciation of what Lord Zakuza did for me but I will say thank you sir for reuniting I and my family back. For those in trying times with their marriages or relationship can browse through his website via: https://lordzakuzaspells.com or WhatsApp Lord Zakuza for help or text with this number +1 740 573 9483 or you can send him an email to Lordzakuza7@gmail.com
https://p1-uranai.com/rank.cgi?mode=link&id=538&url=https://club-maserati.com/
http://m.caijing.com.cn/member/logout?referer=https://club-maserati.com
https://edesk.jp/atp/Redirect.do?url=https://ocrv.life
http://3d.skr.jp/cgi-bin/lo/refsweep.cgi?url=https://ocrvmotorsports.com/
Good web site you have here.. It’s hard to find excellent writing like yours these days. I truly appreciate individuals like you! Take care!!
https://53938.measurementapi.com/serve?action=click&publisher_id=53938&site_id=92394&sub_campaign=g5e_com&url=https://ocrv.tv/
https://www.neoromance.info/link/rank.cgi?mode=link&id=26&url=https://ocrv.us
Aw, this was a really good post. Spending some time and actual effort to generate a good article… but what can I say… I hesitate a whole lot and don't seem to get anything done.
http://www.demo07.soluzione-web.it/common/Mod_30_conta.asp?ID=4&Link=http://club-maserati.com
https://sso.esolutionsgroup.ca/default.aspx?SSO_redirect=https://socialmediacoversmadeforyou.com/
Best view i have ever seen !
https://www.google.dm/url?q=https://topphimhot.net
Greetings, I believe your web site could possibly be having web browser compatibility problems. Whenever I look at your website in Safari, it looks fine however, when opening in IE, it's got some overlapping issues. I just wanted to provide you with a quick heads up! Besides that, fantastic website!
https://www.tamiroom.com/bbs/cafe.php?mode=node&id=936&page=1&home=https://club-maserati.com/
After I originally commented I seem to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get four emails with the same comment. Perhaps there is a way you are able to remove me from that service? Kudos!
https://track.aftermarket.pl/track.php?ref=&url=https://bulknearme.com/
doing homework early art history essay writing service customs writing.com help essay 123
http://click.dsp.com/c?type=2&db=mediav&pub=120013_527433_1050746&cus=172_663_12717020_63096188_63096188000&url=aikareborn.com/wiki/paladin_honor
http://www.alizevids.com/cgi-bin/arrow/out.cgi?id=97&trade=http://www.affordableranking.com
http://www.co-concepts.com/__media__/js/netsoltrademark.php?d=http://affordableranking.com/