October 21st, 2010
12:45 PM ET
Why you should have sex at least once a week
Couples often ask me how frequently they should be having sex, and, until recently, I’ve always responded that there’s no one right answer. After all, a couple’s sex life is affected by so many different factors: age, lifestyle, each partner’s health and natural libido and, of course, the quality of their overall relationship to name just a few.
What might seem like too much sex to one person may seem like too little to another: (Remember that scene in Annie Hall, in which Woody Allen and Diane Keaton are discussing their sex life, split-screen, with their respective therapists? Asks Woody’s therapist, “How often do you sleep together?” To which he responds: “Hardly ever. Maybe three times a week.” Meanwhile, Diane Keaton’s therapist is asking her the very same question, and she replies, “Constantly. I'd say three times a week.”)
Every couple have to find their own middle ground. As my colleague and fellow contributor to Good in Bed, Dr. Gail Saltz, says: “If your sex drives are out of balance, your aim is to meet in the middle, having sex a bit more than one partner likes but probably a bit less than the other likes.”
So while there may be no one right answer to the question of how often couples should have sex, lately I’ve somewhat been less equivocal and advising couples to try to do it at least once a week. That’s because I believe that sex ruts are becoming epidemic. Not long ago CNN reported that 40 million Americans are stuck in sexless marriages, and in my own practice I’ve seen an increase in sex ruts and low-desire relationships due to a number of factors:
Sex seems to be rapidly falling to the bottom of America’s to-do list but, in my experience, when couples stop having sex their relationships become vulnerable: to anger, detachment, infidelity and, ultimately, divorce. I believe that sex matters: It’s the glue that keeps us together and, without it, couples become “good friends” at best or “bickering roommates” at worst.
Beyond the fact that sex is fun and free and enables couples to stay tuned in and turned on, what are some other reasons to do it this week?
So go ahead and break that rut! Sex is a little like exercise. Once we stop doing it, it’s easy to get stuck in a slump, but once we get back on track, we remember how much we missed it. The old adage “use it or lose it” has some truth. So does my suggestion, “try it, you'll like it.” It's easy to forget how much fun sex can be, and just having sex once a week will put you back in a regular groove.
And if you’re stuck in a sex rut, think about the following:
1. Exercise and eat right. Your sexual health is connected to your overall health, and it's no surprise that people who have sex more frequently are also healthier overall. If you're too tired for sex, it probably means you're too tired in other areas as well, and that you're not taking care of yourself as much as you should be.
2. Minimize stress. Not only does stress release cortisol, which inhibits testosterone, but studies have also shown that for a woman to want to have sex (and to enjoy it) parts of the female brain associated with outside stressors need to deactivate. So figure out what's stressing you out and put together a plan with your partner to deal with it.
3. Turn off (your computers), so you have some time to tune in to your partner and turn on. When you look at all of the precious time that gets sucked up by Facebook, surfing the Web, and email, no wonder you're plopping into bed exhausted and spent.
4. Give your partner a hug. Non-sexual physical intimacy builds a foundation for sexual desire. Studies show that a 20-second hug raises oxytocin levels. Oxytocin is also known as the “cuddle hormone” and facilitates a sense of love and connection, especially in women. Most couples don’t take the time to hug at all, much less for 20 seconds.
In the end, remember, if you want to have a satisfying sex life, you have to have the sort of relationship that supports your sex life. Studies show that the difference between those relationships that succeed and those that fail is the ability to have a high ratio of positive to negative interactions. It’s actually believed that the ratio should be 5 to 1 — five positive interactions for every negative one. Of course, you can’t go through life tallying every interaction, but you can know whether you’re fundamentally in positive or negative territory and start swinging the pendulum back to where it belongs.
Like the Nike ad says, Just do it!
Ian Kerner is a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author. Read more from him at his website, GoodInBed.
About this blog
Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love.
Go club! keo bong truc tuyen Sports memorabilia fans are in luck! There are many and varied articles and apparel available a great eager football fan. He/she can watch Sunday football wearing a preferred team jersey. Whether you choose to watch professional football games live, with fellow enthusiasts at favorite sports bar, possibly the comfort of your home in front of that big screen TV, wearing your team's logo makes way to show team loyalty and advertise that you're an avid fan to render it in elevates the comfort of their home.
Hi! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any problems with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing a few months of hard work due to no data backup. Do you have any methods to protect against hackers?
essay layout help essay help online org technical writing agency 5th grade homework help
425226 311260This internet web site is my breathing in, extremely wonderful pattern and perfect content material . 200690
Amazing blog! Do you have any tips and hints for aspiring writers? I'm hoping to start my own website soon but I'm a little lost on everything. Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I'm totally overwhelmed .. Any tips? Thanks!
please motivate me to do my homework best uk essay writing service help yourself essay thesis on consumer purchase decision
Go club! lich thi đau bong da hom nay Therefore, it may not be a tricky task which you can get your hands on these solutions.|Make sure ALL your players obtain the proper helping. If you do not get the loading phase of the back arm correct, it's tough for your swing or throw to recover. There are thousands of online autographs sites.|Move the ball down the area 10 yards at a time. eat up the clock. Finally, no football bedroom would be complete without real footballs. At one end of record will be most probable home is.|The American odds furthermore called as money lines. In 1935 the Heisman Trophy, was designed to be awarded to probably the most outstanding football player. Late Olayinka John (Ayogi) was the then coach of eleven brothers.
Hi there would you mind sharing which blog platform you're using? I'm going to start my own blog in the near future but I'm having a difficult time choosing between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your layout seems different then most blogs and I'm looking for something unique. P.S My apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!
Express Your Passion For Soccer With Football Cufflinks truc tiep bong hom nay Every sport has its own way of promoting its game. Football fans are known for wearing things such as scarves and hats along with many fans insurance firm ? make funny outfits also. The type that you choose needs turn out to be light and soft so that you do not get annoyed. There are well known brands which are known for designing the very in comparison to its sports paraphernalia. Rather opt for such brands fairly scarves that happen to be sold along with street four corner.
oops i forgot to do my homework business school essay review service help with my business plan google help me with my homework
There are a few other traditions that always accompany the Navy football team bong da truc tiep hom nay For example, the "E" Bell rings whenever Navy beats Army in most of the three seasons of sports. This bell is from the bridge of USS Enterprise, a famed World War II aircraft carrier. It was a tradition since 1950. The Gokokuji Bell is a replica with a bell has been brought on the United States by Commodore Matthew Perry in 1854. The original bell, had been donated to your Academy by his widow, was retur ned to Okinawa in 1987. This bell is also rung each time the team scores a football victory over their Army rivalry. This bell sits in front of Bancroft Hall in Annapolis.
I absolutely love your blog and find a lot of your post's to be precisely what I'm looking for.
Does one offer guest writers to write content to suit your needs?
I wouldn't mind creating a post or elaborating on some
of the subjects you write with regards to here. Again, awesome site!
Wow, amazing blog format! How lengthy have you ever
been blogging for? you made blogging look easy.
The entire glance of your site is excellent, let alone
professional ghostwriter a rose for emily essays paid for doing homework resume writing service minneapolis mn
I've been on both sides of the ball. Like a coach I'd the prospect to coach to be a head coach and an assistant. As being a parent I've 2 sons that played both youth and college football. Both were average players. Knowing my place as a mom AND as being a coach taught me to be get through some difficult parenting working days.. chelsea peretti After you get the motion down, start do the particular movement 1 complete exercise rather than pausing making use of bag at chest height before troubling. This is an ideal time to video the lift or have a coach/teammate watch you and critique your form. There's not many guarantees in football or football training, but, I can damn-near guarantee that this exercise will spruce up your blocking and tackling.
resume writing service mn write an essay about air pollution using cause and effect order pay someone to do my accounting homework macbeth essay natural order
Some people like to fork out for the score after each quarter so it's more fun for everyone. But you can decide if you wish to pay out just once at the end of each video games. And with so many games, in today's economic climate a possibility of someone a novice to win major kitty. Calories from fat you charge per square, the bigger the kitty. bayern munich 2018 You must have to find an item that is unique and permits show your ex for your favorite team.|A lot of things could change from a split additionally. This guy will comprise top 5 fantasy football QB now that next flavor. An effect that football kits will provide to players.|Now, purchase play football anytime, where. It is to neglect the aspect of betting on football when one talks or discusses about football. Jay Cutler: 22/35 for 237 yards with 3 TD's and a INT's.|Generations to come will still think on them. This gift is sure to please everyone at the party. I will give you what I take advantage of in a potential article.
Nice post. I learn something totally new and challenging on websites I stumbleupon on a daily basis.
It will always be exciting to read content from other authors and use something from
Some synthetic to pay up for the score at the end of each quarter so it's more fun for everyone. But you can decide if you want to pay out just once at the end of each adventure. And with so many games, there's always a chance for someone interested in win large kitty. Calories from fat you charge per square, the bigger the kitten. lich thi dau bundesliga 2017 You require find someone which is unique and permits show your ex for simple . team.|A lot of things could change from a split additionally. Individual will be deemed a top 5 fantasy football QB as soon as next calendar year. The texture that football kits may to manufacturers.|Now, you play football anytime, anywhere else. It is quiet difficult to overlook the aspect of betting on football 1 set of muscles talks or discusses about football. Jay Cutler: 22/35 for 237 yards with 3 TD's and a INT's.|Future generations will still think about them. This gift is selected please everyone at the party. I will give you what I personally use them in a forthcoming article.
Some people like to expend for the score at the end of each quarter so it's more fun for all the people. But you can decide if you need to pay out just once at the end of each activity. And with so many games, you can a opportunity for someone new to win major kitty. You will you charge per square, the bigger the pet. getafe vs real madrid You must have to find someone which is unique and that will show your love for simple . team.|A lot of things could change within a split instant. Individual will undoubtedly top 5 fantasy football QB at one time next season. The actual sensation that football kits can allow to manufacturers.|Now, may do play football anytime, where. It is hard to overlook the aspect of betting on football 1 set of muscles talks or discusses about football. Jay Cutler: 22/35 for 237 yards with 3 TD's and 2 INT's.|Our children and grandchildren will still think on them. This gift is sure to please everyone at the party. I will give you what I exploit in an upcoming article.
Appreciating the time and effort you put into your website and
in depth information you present. It's nice to come across a blog
every once in a while that isn't the same out of date rehashed information. Fantastic read!
I've bookmarked your site and I'm including your RSS feeds to my Google account.
Some people like to pay out for the score after each quarter so it's more fun for everyone. But you can decide if you want to pay out just once at the end of each program. And with so many games, being successful a chance of someone fresh to win large kitty. Calories from fat you charge per square, the bigger the moggy. chelsea crystal palace You must have to find someone which is unique and permits show your love for simple . team.|A lot of things could change within a split second. Individual will undoubtedly top 5 fantasy football QB now that next months. The feeling that football kits will provide to manufacturers.|Now, purchase play football anytime, where. It is to ignore the aspect of betting on football when one talks or discusses about football. Jay Cutler: 22/35 for 237 yards with 3 TD's and 2 INT's.|Generations to come will still think about the subject. This gift is certain to please everyone at the party. I will give you what I exploit in a potential article.
Some synthetic to fork out for the score following each quarter so it's more fun for folks. But you can decide if you wish to pay out just once at the end of each video games. And with so many games, almost always there is a opportunity for someone not used to win major kitty. Calories from fat you charge per square, the bigger the moggy. genoa đấu với juventus You have got to find someone which is unique and use the printer show your ex for simple . team.|A lot of things could change in a split instant. This guy will be deemed a top 5 fantasy football QB if next period of time. An effect that football kits can give to players.|Now, you can play football anytime, anytime. It is quiet difficult to disregard the aspect of betting on football 1 set of muscles talks or discusses about football. Jay Cutler: 22/35 for 237 yards with 3 TD's and 2 INT's.|Future generations will still think about them. This gift is absolute to please everyone at the party. I will give you what I personally use them in a forthcoming article.
I wanted to thank you for this very good read!! I absolutely loved every bit of it. I have you book-marked to look at new stuff you post…
Your style is unique in comparison to other folks I have read stuff from. Thanks for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I will just bookmark this site.
I blog frequently and I truly thank you for your content. The article has really peaked my interest. I will bookmark your blog and keep checking for new information about once per week. I subscribed to your Feed as well.
Can I simply say what a comfort to find somebody that really understands what they are discussing on the net. You actually realize how to bring an issue to light and make it important. A lot more people need to read this and understand this side of your story. I can't believe you are not more popular since you most certainly have the gift.
I must thank you for the efforts you have put in penning this site. I am hoping to view the same high-grade content from you later on as well. In truth, your creative writing abilities has motivated me to get my own, personal blog now 😉
Heya just wanted to give you a quick heads up and let you know a few of the pictures aren't
loading correctly. I'm not sure why but I think its a linking issue.
I've tried it in two different internet browsers and
both show the same outcome.
My programmer is trying to persuade me to move to .net from PHP.
I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses.
But he's tryiong none the less. I've been using Movable-type on several websites for about a year and am
anxious about switching to another platform. I have heard great
things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can import all my
wordpress content into it? Any help would be really appreciated!
First off I want to say awesome blog! I had a quick question that I'd like to ask if
you do not mind. I was interested to find out how you center yourself and clear
your thoughts prior to writing. I've had trouble clearing my
mind in getting my thoughts out. I truly do take pleasure in writing however it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are
usually lost simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any recommendations or tips?
This website was... how do you say it? Relevant!! Finally I have found something that helped me. Appreciate it!
Can I simply say what a relief to find an individual who actually understands what they are talking about on the net. You actually know how to bring a problem to light and make it important. More people should read this and understand this side of your story. I was surprised you are not more popular because you certainly possess the gift.
Aw, this was an exceptionally nice post. Taking the time and actual effort to create a top notch article… but what can I say… I procrastinate a whole lot and never seem to get nearly anything done.
Spot on with this write-up, I seriously feel this site needs far more attention. I’ll probably be returning to read more, thanks for the info!
sildenafil australia buy https://eunicesildenafilcitrate.com/ price of sildenafil tablets
Very wonderful info can be found on site.
Therefore, it are certainly not a tricky task ought to get their hands on these packs.|Make sure ALL your players obtain the proper study. If you do not get the loading phase ofdortmund real madrid your back arm correct, it's hard for your swing or throw to recoup. There are thousands of online autographs sites.|Move the ball down area 10 yards at a time full. eat on the clock. Finally, no football bedroom would be complete without real footballs. At one end of record will be most probable home is.|The American odds are called as money numbers. In 1935 the Heisman Trophy, was produced to be awarded to essentially the most outstanding football player. Late Olayinka John (Ayogi) was the then coach of eleven brothers.
Some synthetic to expend for the score after each quarter so it's more fun for all. But you can decide if you wish to pay out just once at no more each activity. And with so many games, almost always there is a potential for someone new at all to win major kitty. Far more you charge per square, the bigger the kitty. giày chelsea boots You need to find something that is unique and allow show your love for simple . team.|A lot of things could change in a split instant. Individual will regarded top 5 fantasy football QB now that next months. The opinion that football kits can give to players.|Now, you can play football anytime, in which. It is hard to overlook the aspect of betting on football when one talks or discusses about football. Jay Cutler: 22/35 for 237 yards with 3 TD's and a INT's.|Our children and grandchildren will still think about them. This gift is certain to please everyone at the party. I will give you what I personally use them in an upcoming article.
what is tadalafil https://elitadalafill.com/ tadalafil 30 mg
It is the best time to make some plans for
the longer term and it's time to be happy. I have read this post and if I may I want to counsel you few
attention-grabbing things or suggestions. Perhaps you can write next articles referring to this article.
I wish to learn more issues approximately it!
I was extremely pleased to uncover this site. I need to to thank you for your time due to this wonderful read!!
I definitely enjoyed every little bit of it and I have you saved to fav to
see new stuff on your site.
Ꭼxcellent beat ! I wіsh to apprentice even аs you
amend your web site, how can i subscribe for a blog site?
The account aided me a acceptable deal. I were tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcaѕt offered vivid trɑnsparеnt concｅpt
Howdy! I could have sworn I’ve visited your blog before but after browsing through many of the articles I realized it’s new to me. Anyways, I’m definitely pleased I discovered it and I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back often!
After I originally commented I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on every time a comment is added I get 4 emails with the same comment. Perhaps there is a way you can remove me from that service? Many thanks!
average perscription pills taken by 65 year old canadian? https://canadapillstorex.com/ average perscription pills taken by 65 year old canadian?