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Sex: What's in a 'number'?
November 3rd, 2011
07:17 AM ET

Sex: What's in a 'number'?

Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him on his website, GoodInBed.

In the recent romantic comedy, “What’s Your Number?” Anna Faris plays a young single woman who is worried that her high number of past sexual partners, 19, will prevent her from meeting Mr. Right, and determines to find lasting love before bedding No. 20.

At least she’s being honest. In reality, people often lie about their “number”: Men tend to overestimate, while women generally underestimate. Of course, it’s possible that these men and women aren’t lying at all, but simply remembering incorrectly, or reaching their number according to their own definition of sex - like the Clintonian method, for example. In general, though, there seems to be a double standard. What’s in a number, and why should a woman’s be lower than a man’s?

Perhaps we can find the answer in evolutionary psychology. As the standard Darwinian narrative would have it, men possess a nearly inexhaustible supply of “seed” and are motivated to spread that seed in the hope of propagating their specific gene-set as much as possible.

So by a “survival of the fittest” sense of logic, perhaps a guy who has not spread himself enough would be viewed, in big-picture evolutionary terms, as less healthy and hence less attractive and mate-worthy to a potential female partner.

So in the theoretical mating-market, wouldn’t a woman want to select what other women have previously selected, and wouldn’t those guys with the higher number also potentially have more mate-worthy traits (looks, money, intelligence) than the guy with a lower number?

Conversely, by the same logic, that female partner is supposed to be choosier and to have had fewer sexual partners because of the risk of getting pregnant - hence a woman's propensity to diminish her number. But after decades of birth control, should evolutionary factors still trump a current reality in which women can have as many sex partners as they like?

Additionally, female humans, unlike most other mammals, have a nearly constant “sexual receptivity," meaning that their sexual interest is not limited to their ovulation period and that ovulation is concealed as opposed to advertised the way it is with other female mammals.

Some evolutionary anthropologists would say this state of extended receptivity is really just a way for a particular woman to ensure she can keep a particular man satisfied so he’ll stick around to help with sustaining and protecting the family. In short, her sexual receptivity is a mechanism to limit his number of current sexual partners. But couldn’t it also just be because sex is fun and women enjoy it as much, if not more, than men?

Women have the capacity to experience multiple orgasms within a single session of sexual activity, unlike men, who require a refractory period after having sex. As Dr. Emily Nagoski, author of the "Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms," notes:

"Men experience a post-ejaculatory refractory period, when their bodies do not respond to sexual stimulation and ejaculation is impossible. At ejaculation, a man’s body throws a massive, systemic 'shut off' switch, which effectively puts his sexuality in 'park,' leans back the seat, and turns lulling music on the radio. The hypothesized reason for this phenomenon is that it gives a man’s body an opportunity to begin replenishing the sperm stores spent in ejaculation. Since women don’t ejaculate, no refraction happens. Lack of refraction is a likely reason why multiple and extended orgasms are easier for women than for men.”

As women age, they tend to move toward their sexual prime, not away from it, as is the case with men. All this suggests that women have a sexuality that outstrips men. If anything, their number should be equal to or greater than a man’s, perhaps far greater.

Those of you up on your ancient Greek mythology will remember that the soothsayer Tiresias, born a man, was turned into a woman for seven years before being turned back into a man. Upon being approached by Zeus and Hera, who were arguing with each other about who enjoys sex more, a man or a woman, Tiresias responded, “Of 10 parts, a man enjoys one only.”

Hera took offense at the idea that a woman’s number could be nine times that of a man’s, and struck Tiresias blind. As long as men continue to mythologize their own sexual pasts, while turning a blind eye to the reality of female sexuality, I suppose women will continue to downplay their number.

But whether you’re a man or a woman, your sexual history is so much more than just the number of partners you’ve had. It’s who you are and what you bring to those experiences. Your sexual history is the sense of self-esteem and self-respect you bring to your sex life. It’s how you value your sexual identity and the expression, gratification and growth of that identity.

So what’s your number? Or your partner’s? Does it matter whose is higher or lower? Your sexual history isn’t just something that happened in the past. It’s something that’s happening right now, with the person lying next to you.


soundoff (90 Responses)
  1. ChrisCintheD

    I think "who" is more important that "how many"...however, this article leaves out a very important component. STDs. That is reason alone to limit "how many".

    November 3, 2011 at 07:55 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Tiffani

      STDs has nothing to do with how many. YOu can just have one as your number and have contracted any STD or could have safely had 300 and not contracted a thing.

      November 3, 2011 at 09:30 | Report abuse |
    • Brian

      @Tiffani So you don't think the odds of contracting an STD goes up the more new partners (potential carriers) you sleep with. Get real!

      November 3, 2011 at 10:07 | Report abuse |
    • KC

      The risk of contracting STDs is not in how many men YOU sleep with, but how many women THEY sleep with. I was monogamous during marriage; he was not. And I was constantly worried about what he was going to bring home to me. The first thing I did when I filed for divorce was get tested for absolutely everything possible. And, yes, people tended to assume that I was getting tested because *I* had slept around, because no one thinks about it that you get it from your partner's partner's partners.

      November 3, 2011 at 11:45 | Report abuse |
    • MV

      Right... men are always pinned with "giving women" STDs and it's always overlooked that women GAVE it to them.

      November 3, 2011 at 12:34 | Report abuse |
    • iceman

      You are correct. The more people you sleep with the greater the risk for STDs.

      November 3, 2011 at 13:11 | Report abuse |
    • Leo

      19 doesn't seem like that much to me so I guess it's all a matter of perspective. It only takes one time to get an STD of any sort so use a condom!

      December 29, 2011 at 16:00 | Report abuse |
  2. Loopman

    @ChrisC- I couldn't agree with you more. When growing up my parents used to quote an old saying, "absence makes the heart grow fonder". In today's more promiscuous society, that statement should be changed to "Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder". What with Hep C, Hep B, herpes and all other kinds of crotch crud floating around, it's better to be safe than sorry. Visualize this as the icebreaker when trying to strike up a conversation with a good looking honey, "So, when's the last time you had a VD test?" Now that's a smooth way to start a relationship, for sure.

    November 3, 2011 at 08:35 | Report abuse | Reply
    • upupandaway

      Crotch crud! Hahaha!

      November 3, 2011 at 15:45 | Report abuse |
  3. Bob

    You have fallen into the trap of believing Darwin's theory states that men want to spread their seed. No, no, no. Darwin never said this. Nor does anyone who understands evolution. Humans are the only species that understands what sperm does. Other primates do not understand this. Nor do they understand anything regarding how newborns come about. So, how can the male of any species want to spread their seed? They cannot want this because they do not know what a seed is. They want to go through the act of procreation because they have an urge, not because they want to spread their seed.

    November 3, 2011 at 09:15 | Report abuse | Reply
    • If you say so

      OK. Other species procreate because they have an urge.... to spread their seed. Happy now?

      November 3, 2011 at 09:35 | Report abuse |
    • Lydia

      It's called instinct.

      November 3, 2011 at 09:44 | Report abuse |
    • Brian

      People often use the term "want" when discussing evolution. This simply means that it is a beneficial trait for increasing the number of your offspring in the next generation. The male wants to spread his seed is simply stating that the male has adapted and is using a strategy where he maximizes the dissemination of his genetic material to increase the odds of his offspring surviving to maturity by increasing his number of offspring.

      November 3, 2011 at 10:18 | Report abuse |
    • exhausted

      Bob is 100% correct. Male animals (and most men too) don't want offspring. They want to get laid. There is a massive difference. Most male animals don't help raise offspring and will kill offspring if they can, including their own. Why? They might be able to get laid afterwards. All men know this.

      November 4, 2011 at 17:28 | Report abuse |
    • rick

      exhausted: what is the basis for your claim that most male animals don't want offspring?

      December 20, 2011 at 15:31 | Report abuse |
  4. k

    I'm really good in bed...but then again I only sleep with virgins so who's to say...

    November 3, 2011 at 09:24 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Mr. Studmuffin

      Camels don't count, Bozo.

      November 3, 2011 at 09:35 | Report abuse |
    • KC

      And I only sleep with men over 30 who know what they're doing. As a result of picking an experienced man my first time, it was enjoyable and he was very happy to train me. Thus, although my "number" is extremely low, I know a lot more than the number would imply.

      November 3, 2011 at 11:39 | Report abuse |
  5. Reversi

    What's in a number? I heard something about 68+1.

    November 3, 2011 at 09:37 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Spaceman

      70 -1 is better........

      November 3, 2011 at 10:20 | Report abuse |
    • rick

      76+1 is better. That way, you get ate more

      December 20, 2011 at 15:32 | Report abuse |
  6. PS

    I attempted to post what I thought was a fairly straight-forward explanation but, evidently, it was too PG13 (R?).

    November 3, 2011 at 13:21 | Report abuse | Reply
  7. ROGER

    where my post

    November 3, 2011 at 13:26 | Report abuse | Reply
  8. dt

    my number is 0. But I don't care, I like being single.

    November 3, 2011 at 13:29 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Wisco30

      I bet if your number was 1 you would have a different response :)

      November 3, 2011 at 15:02 | Report abuse |
    • exhausted

      Keep practicing though. Going out on dates fully loaded might leave a stain.

      November 4, 2011 at 17:30 | Report abuse |
  9. 'Nother Son O' Ursus Rexx

    19 partners is NOT a particularly high number of lovers...
    It simply ISN'T!
    I know Catholic priests who have higher stat's, all of whom, paradoxically, have made 'relatively' healthy adjustments in their 'L.T.R.'s' (despite being 'DEEPLY CLOSETED', an inherently unhealthy situation), and have ALSO, (MIRACLE OF MIRACLES), avoided 'under-18's' of all 3 kinds, (gay, straight, transgender).

    November 3, 2011 at 13:39 | Report abuse | Reply
    • .

      haven't even met 19 girls smart enough to talk to, yet along want to sleep with. i mean if you'll settle for anyone dumb enough to put out with a stranger at a bar...

      November 3, 2011 at 14:58 | Report abuse |
    • L

      @"." you say "haven't even met 19 girls smart enough to talk to, yet along want to sleep with." what?? calling other people stupid when you can't even get a common phrase right? it's "let alone" not "yet along". maybe the problem isn't the girls you've met. maybe the problem is you.

      November 15, 2011 at 07:22 | Report abuse |
    • Joe

      Maybe it's not that every girl on the planet is dumb...maybe you're just an ass.

      December 30, 2011 at 16:52 | Report abuse |
  10. JR

    my post also never made it. I guess this is a waste of time to actually sound off on an issue.

    November 3, 2011 at 14:01 | Report abuse | Reply
  11. JR

    Sorry, maybe it was a web page error, because my last one just made it almost instantly. I'll repost my comment.

    November 3, 2011 at 14:02 | Report abuse | Reply
  12. nancy

    Gross. And tomorrow's article will be about why there is such a rise in the number of STD's. How do you look at yourself in the mirror after bedding everybody in town?

    November 3, 2011 at 14:05 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Joe

      With a smile.

      November 25, 2011 at 00:45 | Report abuse |
  13. Demiricous

    I'm in the range of 13-17 I don't pick out a number on the grounds ive woke up naked next to a girl and neither of us remembered a thing. I feel that a girl with a higher number may be more prone to cheat. A guy with a low number has way to high of standards. Just my observations.

    November 3, 2011 at 14:23 | Report abuse | Reply
    • exhausted

      If you can't remember your partners, they obviously meant nothing to you and it must have been nothing worth remembering. That means you choose badly and probably perform badly. If you are "somewhere 13-17" (because you can't count?), you are more of a cheating risk because you don't even remember your encounters. Get a life, doofus. Nobody likes your type.

      November 4, 2011 at 17:37 | Report abuse |
    • rick

      I am a 55 year old straight male, and my number is 15. Not particularly high for 35 years of experience (including 3 periods of celebacy of 5 years each)

      December 20, 2011 at 15:35 | Report abuse |
    • Joe

      @exhausted...or it means that you like to drunk and have one night stands. I can't remember probably half the people I've slept with because we only hooked up once or twice and I never talked to them again. Wasn't interested in relationships for a long time and just liked to pull a hit and run.

      December 30, 2011 at 16:51 | Report abuse |
  14. farie710

    A number means nothing in a relationship, or at least it shouldn't mean anything. The relationship should be based on love and trust not how many people you have been with in the past.

    Also, I swear this article was repeated from a CNN article a couple years ago with the same idea LOL! Slow news day :)

    November 3, 2011 at 14:35 | Report abuse | Reply
  15. CatastropheCathy

    I think many people just rush into it and sleep with anyone. maybe they fear they have nothing else to offer. Personally I am happy to wait and only share with someone special. I am offended by guys who have been around the block. You say evolution and spreading their seeds. I say easy, more chance for STD and low standards. I don't want sloppy 20ies.

    November 3, 2011 at 14:36 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Ann23

      Reality is that most people are SOMEONE'S sloppy seconds. I don't want a guy who has slept with a ton of people, esp. ones that I know, but I'm definitely not interested in an inexperienced guy either. JMO.

      November 7, 2011 at 01:17 | Report abuse |
    • Joe

      You'll never know. My gf doesn't know my real number and never will. So.....yeah, good luck.

      December 30, 2011 at 16:49 | Report abuse |
  16. Key and Locks

    A key that can unlock any lock is rare and has great value. A lock that can be opened by any key has no value. Simple as that.

    November 3, 2011 at 14:44 | Report abuse | Reply
  17. Trainer

    how come my posts disappear!

    November 3, 2011 at 14:49 | Report abuse | Reply
  18. upupandaway

    I have a high number, way more than 20. I am not even sure I have an accurate count anymore, but what difference does it make? If I find a guy that loves me for me than it won't matter because that is part of who I am. Love is not an exhaustible commodity, it is something you can give forever, so quit being insecure and try to benefit from experience of others rather than degrading to those who have it.

    November 3, 2011 at 16:02 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Key and Locks

      Enjoy your cats

      November 3, 2011 at 18:28 | Report abuse |
    • F

      Enjoy your celibacy.

      November 3, 2011 at 21:25 | Report abuse |
    • Jim

      I think you meant to say "horneyness is not an inexhaustible commodity."

      November 16, 2011 at 12:31 | Report abuse |
  19. boka

    I'm a virgin.

    November 3, 2011 at 16:08 | Report abuse | Reply
  20. BeReasonable

    Dont be fooled ladies. No man likes a loosey. Keep your numbers down & keep it tight.

    November 3, 2011 at 16:41 | Report abuse | Reply
  21. Uh, Yeah.......

    I think it's best if you marry someone with about the same number as yourself. It seems that this would indicate that you both have similar values and no one is jealous of the other having had more action in the past.

    November 3, 2011 at 16:46 | Report abuse | Reply
  22. Pheigth

    One...24 years of marriage...happy to be me.

    November 3, 2011 at 17:02 | Report abuse | Reply
  23. augustghost

    PLAY BALL !!!

    November 3, 2011 at 17:37 | Report abuse | Reply
  24. Spiff

    So by a “survival of the fittest” sense of logic, perhaps a guy who has not spread himself enough would be viewed, in big-picture evolutionary terms, as less healthy and hence less attractive and mate-worthy to a potential female partner.

    Sorry, Mr. Kerner, but this sentence that you wrote shows that you have completely misunderstood evolution. Evolutionarily speaking, a female doesn't care how many previous partners a potential mate may have had. The propensity to want to spread seed is all that is in play here, and it's all for the male's benefit, you know, fathering more children and passing down more genes.

    November 3, 2011 at 17:56 | Report abuse | Reply
  25. clamp it jed

    what is the purpose of the female orgasm? they don't ejaculate anything......or do they?!!!

    November 3, 2011 at 20:27 | Report abuse | Reply
    • F

      Why does it matter?

      November 3, 2011 at 21:24 | Report abuse |
    • Joe

      Uh, yeah they do.

      My gf two gf's ago didn't even know she could, but she got me in the face... from all the way down there. "Omg, did I just squirt?" "Pffltlfltfff."

      November 25, 2011 at 00:36 | Report abuse |
    • rick

      the big O (male or female) seems to be an evolutionary trick to get people to propogate

      December 20, 2011 at 15:39 | Report abuse |
  26. cassidy79

    It seems there are lots of BOYS on here(you don't sound like men) who wouldn't know how to please a woman if you tried. The purpose of a female orgasm is so that we will feel good, which is also what you(men) get out of it. And yes, there are women who ejaculate.

    Who cares how many numbers anyone has. It's none of your business. Do yourselves a favor and get tested and that's all you have to worry about. As for the guys posting about keeping it tight and numbers low, I'm sure your number is zero and the only partner you've had is your hand because women don't want morons like you. You're probably typing with one hand, haha. Don't get the keyboard sticky!!

    November 3, 2011 at 22:08 | Report abuse | Reply
    • hmmmm

      someone has a high number ^

      November 4, 2011 at 03:33 | Report abuse |
    • Joe

      Yeah...someone's had issues with this in the past. Seems to have struck a nerve. lol

      December 30, 2011 at 16:48 | Report abuse |
  27. Karen

    The thought of sleeping with someone who has slept with several people makes my skin crawl. Your body is not something that should be handed over to just anyone. What is more precious than your body? Without your body, there is no you. Treat it with the greatest of respect, for it is priceless. What would you prefer, a piece of cake that multiple people have taken a bite out of, or a freshly cut piece that is not bitten and presented to you in perfect condition? I know which one I'd like. So why would I expect anything less of the person I sleep with? I have never had a good answer to this question.

    November 3, 2011 at 22:54 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Ella

      Oh, Karen. I agree that your body shouldn't just be something anyone gets to have, but disliking someone because they are not "freshly cut" is just wrong and creepy. Honestly, if a person truly loves YOU, your body won't matter and it won't matter how many people you've been with. But do what you want. I'm not saying you should sleep around. I'm just saying you need to stop basing someone's value on their body and what has happened to it because that's wrong. I am sure that you will meet a lot of men who won't care how many people you've been with so the whole waiting till you're married thing was pointless since a lot of guys would rather not wait until then. In my experience, men are annoyed by virgins. The older I get, the harder it is to deal with that.

      November 4, 2011 at 03:08 | Report abuse |
    • Newo

      "What is more precious than your body?"
      Your soul. Easy enough.

      November 22, 2011 at 18:37 | Report abuse |
    • Joe

      Except having sex is nothing like eating cake. When people eat cake there is less cake for the next person to eat. There isn't less of me b/c of I've had sex with a lot of people. Poor analogy. Try again.

      December 30, 2011 at 16:46 | Report abuse |
  28. Dr Bill Toth

    Wow just what couples need something else to fight about, have angst over, compete with...a "Number"

    November 4, 2011 at 07:04 | Report abuse | Reply
  29. Lil

    I think I am somewhere in the two hundreds. I can't help it! I like men!!!

    November 4, 2011 at 09:22 | Report abuse | Reply
    • ruff

      i think i luv u...

      December 2, 2011 at 02:39 | Report abuse |
    • rick

      ruff: you are assuming you know lil's gender?

      December 20, 2011 at 15:42 | Report abuse |
  30. collin

    yea women are liars about there number thats forsure. i wouldnt be suprised if there number is way higher than a mans

    November 4, 2011 at 13:02 | Report abuse | Reply
  31. Jim in Colorado

    At 52, my number is right at a handful! I wish it was at least double digits! As shallow as most women are....it's impossible for guys like me to increase those numbers! I was born with a cleft lip and palate. I don't look like Brad Pitt....or any other hunky dude for that matter! I can't even seem to BUY a date! It's very discouraging to go thru each and every day with urges that can't be satisfied! Wish I could morph into the ultimate ladies man once in a while. I'd even be happy if I was able to increase my numbers by one....as long as it was a frequently recurring one! If there are any single women in the Denver area....I'm available!

    November 4, 2011 at 14:32 | Report abuse | Reply
    • rick

      At a handful? Is that right handful or left handful?

      December 20, 2011 at 15:43 | Report abuse |
  32. exhausted

    Wow, if Mr. Johnson does all the work, you must be terrible. Women need more stimulation than your fat member. Like any football game, I bet your plays last a few seconds too and make little progress.

    November 4, 2011 at 17:34 | Report abuse | Reply
  33. SENT OF A WOMAN

    THERE IS THAT OLD ADDAGE! CANT START A FIRE WITHOUT MATCH!!!!!!

    November 4, 2011 at 22:37 | Report abuse | Reply
  34. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

    GET A LIFE

    November 4, 2011 at 22:54 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Jim in Colorado

      Are you directing your comments at me? If so....then you ought to "MIND" your own business "None of your Business"!! If not....then I'm sorry for commenting!

      November 8, 2011 at 09:57 | Report abuse |
  35. THERE ARE MORE POSITIVE THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT

    HUMAN NATURE IS TO SURVIVE WE ARE ALL LINKED TOGETHER THERE IS NO RACE WE ARE ALL THE SAME

    November 6, 2011 at 21:45 | Report abuse | Reply
  36. Roxanna

    I am 22, part-time model, full-time student and virgin by choice, although II came close with my ex. I'm gorgeous with a perfect body, and I've had plenty of opportunities and most guys don't believe I am in fact a virgin, even the couple guys I've dated seriously found it hard to believe, but as they got to know me they understood. I'm an atheist, so it isn't because I'm necessarily 'waiting for marrriage' although it will probably be the person I will most likely marry. I think I've abstained mainly because I don't trust people and have closeness/intimacy issues, it takes me a very long time to get comfortable and trust someone, not just guys people in general. I know I have a lot more to offer besides the way I look- I'm intelligent, hilarious, eccentric, and unlike anyone else you'll meet. I have extremely high standards and it's a shame more people don't, but realistically some people have to face the facts- you can't be that picky because you don't have much to offer. Ironically enough, my ex fiance (he is 40) claimed he was "very good and experienced" and I believe said his number was 58 or so. It didn't particularly bother me at all actually, but now having done things with him that I didn't find that great, I believe it was much lower-maybe in the 20s. There i a saying men usually multiply by 3 and women divide by 3, I absolutely believe this! It's kinda sad I've had very pretty girlfriends and they will sleep with just about anyone and everyone and they claim to have standards and we all have our preferences, but objectively these guys were trolls-physically and in every other way (jerks, morons, etc.). I'm currently dating a attractive , successful surgeon and I really hope he's the one as I find myself really attracted to him and we're very alike :)

    November 10, 2011 at 20:58 | Report abuse | Reply
    • JJ

      Please tell me you're kidding. Are you sure you're dating a surgeon and not your bathroom mirror?

      November 14, 2011 at 21:05 | Report abuse |
    • Jim in Colorado

      It sounds as though this is some sort of a joke! If it's not....then I suppose it's your right to do whatever you want and don't want to do with your body. It sounds as though you definitely have some intimacy issues. I do too....but they are related to my cleft lip and palate! People are way too shallow!

      Best of luck to you!

      November 15, 2011 at 16:40 | Report abuse |
    • gracee

      good for you. and please don't be some unfortunate looking girl with low self esteem trying to make herself look/feel better. And Jim in Colardo, Keep you head up high! You'll find someone who loves you for you one day!

      November 17, 2011 at 22:56 | Report abuse |
    • Joe

      I'll tell you that no successful surgeon is going to put up with you not putting out. A friend of mine is a cardiologist and high-caliber girls are constantly hitting on him, and would sleep with him in a second.

      Anyway, there's a word for this... it's called "frigid".

      p.s. The whole part about you doubting your ex- has been with however many number of women... how would you know?

      November 25, 2011 at 00:32 | Report abuse |
    • Joe

      suuuuuure....

      December 30, 2011 at 16:44 | Report abuse |
  37. LaLs

    the evolutionary argument is ridiculous. Men are trying to spread their seed? fine. I am trying to find the strongest, most viable sperm!

    November 24, 2011 at 18:19 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Joe

      That's exactly the evolutionary argument. Women would hold out for the biggest and strongest male.

      December 30, 2011 at 16:43 | Report abuse |
  38. Joe

    The whole part in this article about a man can't get stimulated or have another orgasm is completely ridiculous. I have always had multiples, and go as long as I want... where do people get this stuff??

    November 25, 2011 at 00:27 | Report abuse | Reply
  39. Joe

    I don't care about spreading my seed, I just wanna cuummm.

    November 25, 2011 at 00:47 | Report abuse | Reply
  40. Jessica

    There is much more to child-rearing than just "spreading your seed". What good is it having many children by many different women out there that the "man" takes little, if any, part in raising. These kids will have the man's genetic material only, and will not know what a real biological father is. Being there day in and day out to raise children and teach them values is what matters.

    December 4, 2011 at 19:39 | Report abuse | Reply
  41. mplaya

    well, I"m almost 50 and my number is 9. Out of that one was a one night stand (although I had known the guy previously). All others were relationships. My fiance's number is 2 – me being number 2.
    ....which is really funny because I don't know WHAT his ex was thinking – the man is fantastic in bed! lol her loss, my gain :-)

    December 30, 2011 at 13:48 | Report abuse | Reply
  42. Joe

    I lost track somewhere around 50....no idea where I am anymore. I've calmed down a lot the past few years, but I'm think I'm somewhere in the 80s.

    December 30, 2011 at 16:42 | Report abuse | Reply

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