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October 27th, 2011
07:36 AM ET
Is passion on your plate?Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him on his website, GoodInBed.
We’ve all heard claims that foods and beverages like oysters, chocolate and red wine can boost libido, but the science behind these isn’t particularly strong. There may not be much research to support the effects of food on arousal, but it’s true that great nutrition can promote great sex. Some foods and beverages - or, more specifically, the vitamins, minerals and other compounds they contain - may indeed help improve your sex life. With this in mind, it might be time to indulge in a little “sex diet” with your partner. The goal here isn’t to lose weight, but to enjoy the bonding process of cooking and eating together as a couple. In a 2006 survey of 1,500 couples conducted with John Gray, author of “Men Are From Mars, Women Are from Venus,” nearly 83% of those who said they cook together at least three times a week rated their relationship as excellent, compared with just 26% who said they rarely or never do. By getting hotter in the kitchen, you might also get things smoking in the bedroom: 58% of those couples who cooked together also reported having satisfying sex lives, compared with a third of those who don’t. When you’re planning your next romantic meal, consider putting these foods on the menu:
I wouldn’t be surprised if the supposed sexy effects of these and other aphrodisiacs are mainly due to a placebo effect: If you believe they will turn you on, they will. But what does it matter? If you can enjoy a sensual meal with your partner, it may help you turn up the heat: not just in the kitchen, but between the sheets. What do you think? Do you cook with your spouse? If so, do you find cooking together helps with a sense of connectedness? Are there foods you find sexy? |
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Or maybe people who have healthy, enjoyable relationships enjoy being together enough that they spend time cooking together.
Correlation does not equal causality, and in any case, John Gray got his PhD. from a diploma mill that the state of California shut down for being fraudulent, so using him as a reference is pretty questionable.
Haha I felt like such a dork because that's the first thing I thought as I was reading this article. I hate it when people suggest that correlation equals causation!
Chicken, egg. Help me cook and I have more time/energy for romance afterward. Conversely, my ex expected me to hold down a full-time-plus paying job, do all the cooking and cleaning without assistance, and then complained because I collapsed from exhaustion after midnight and wasn't particularly interested in anything other than catching a couple hours sleep before I had to get up and do the 18-hour day again the next day. Any attempt to negotiate "if you help me cook, I'll have an extra 20 minutes to snuggle" resulted in the predictable response that he wasn't interested in any quid-pro-quo arrangement.
This article was good ... enough for me to POOP ON!
Yeah, with 3 kids 6 and under and both spouses working full time we don't cook together at all, schedules just don't allow it to happen. And for my relationship in particular cooking together isn't going to do anything for us in the bedroom. In fact the only thing that I can think of that would improve the situation in the bedroom is if I could convince another, much randier woman, to meet me there on a regular basis. I've been attached to this anchor for 10 years now, and I'm trying to decide if its better to drop anchor and move on, or just let the anchor pull me down and hope for a quick end. If it wasn't for the kids I would have dropped this anchor many years ago. Maybe I should just have an affair, try to balance things out a bit.....
Oh how I hear you and feel your pain. I'd do all the cooking for a little, but no dice, she's like ice...
Heck no !!! There isn't any intimacy, passion on my plate. It hasn't been there for almost 30 years.
A mutual love of food is just about the only thing holding my marriage together.
Passion on the plate? Kinda like ejaculate in your yogurt?