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Never too late to find your path in life
September 22nd, 2011
10:27 AM ET

Never too late to find your path in life

Editor's note: CNN contributor Amanda Enayati ponders the theme of seeking serenity the quest for well-being and life balance in stressful times.

“Late bloomers? Late for what? What is it we’re late for?”

I had called Shilloy to discuss late bloomers, chiefly because last year, in her early 40s, she made a dramatic shift in her career as a marketing exec and went back to school to become a therapist. But as I began our interview, it was clear that something was putting her on edge.

“The term ‘late bloomers’ pushes a button for me,” she admitted. “Part of it is that for decades I bought into this whole paradigm in our culture of blooming when you’re supposed to. And I was on track! I was keeping up with the Joneses with the education, the salary, the home, aiming for the 2.5 kids by a certain age. I was living in New York City, working for a blue-chip firm, and I was going through the motions of what you should be doing when you’re successful. Maybe my work was still not answering the question of who I was, but I justified it as ‘I’ll make all the money I want to make and then I’ll do what I really want to do.’”

In 2006 Shilloy was recruited by a start-up technology company. Within three years, the company went bust, along with the economy. “I was brought to my knees. I was bleeding financially. My relationship had fallen apart in the midst of all of it, and I was left with nothing.”

She fell into a deep despair. “I stayed in bed for most of the four months that followed. I cried and prayed and wrote about what I wanted. And I grieved. I mourned the person I thought I was going to be. I mourned the company I thought was going to take off. I mourned my home, my car, all the material things I was surrounded by that, in the end, had nothing to do with my comfort, my happiness or my salvation.”

With her savings spent, she packed up her home and placed everything in storage. And she did what had once seemed unthinkable to her: She moved back to her parents’ house. “I needed to take some time to think about what was happening.”

Within months, she identified that missing thing that had eluded her all those decades. “What I was meant to do fell into place. There had always been an inkling of it in my life, but I had never even slowed down to contemplate it. I was so driven by all the other things I thought I was supposed to do and so I made these unconscious decisions, and eventually the unconscious living shaped my life.”

But once she was forced to stop and look around, the path she was meant to take became clear. And then it was just a matter of simple details: which school, which program, which classes. “I was having one of those magical moments. It was smooth like it was meant to be. As if the script had been written and I was finally willing to read it. It felt right and good.”

I considered Shilloy’s objection to being called a late bloomer. Though unemployment is a huge source of stress for many Americans right now, that burden is especially heavy for older workers, particularly those in their 50s and 60s. Older workers fear being passed over for jobs because of their age. They fear never recovering their former salaries. They fear being discarded from the workforce altogether. Add to all that the often unspoken anxiety that because they have failed to achieve a measure of success by a certain time, they are a failure.

These concerns are real and can be incredibly stressful. But consider this: In his book, "The Genius in All of Us," David Shenk writes about the science that suggests that “few of us know our true limits, that the vast majority of us have not even come close to tapping what scientists call our ‘unactualized potential.’”

And if it is true that every cloud has its silver lining, perhaps what we’re seeing amid this widening crisis we’re living through economic, social, political and environmental is the quake that is forcing our hands without discriminating about age, gender, class or any other life circumstance. One that is making us tap into our unknown potential, forcing a bloom, demanding that we stop and rise to who it is we are and what it is we can do. Maybe we are living through the calamity that creates providence.

“There is pretty much only one way to become an early bloomer. On the other hand, there are an infinite number of ways to become a so-called late bloomer.” So observes Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, a cognitive scientist and psychologist who is working on a book about late bloomers. “There are no predetermined paths to greatness. There are paths that have already come and there are those that have yet to come ones we can’t know or predict ahead of time.”

But, according to Kaufman, while we as a society are fascinated by younger people who show precocious, rapid development in comparison with their peers, those early bloomers very rarely go on to become trend setters or innovators. Late bloomers’ achievements, on the other hand, can be far-reaching because they tend to require quite complex abilities that are often years in the making.

“The bigger picture here is that a person can make a career shift at any time,” says Tony Schwartz, best-selling author and performance expert. He changed careers at 47, from journalism to the path that would culminate in his founding The Energy Project, which helps individuals and organizations perform better and more sustainably. “You can begin a new career at 75; at 85, if you’re healthy enough. You’re capable of excellence at any age. I myself expect to have one more career before I’m done maybe at 59. It is purely a question of your desire and willingness to invest the time and energy required to build skills in a particular area. And there is no greater fuel for excellence than the feeling that what you do matters.”

In his work with clients, Schwartz has identified six keys to achieving excellence at any age, laid out in a 2010 Harvard Business Review piece: Pursue what you love; do the hardest work first; practice intensely; seek expert feedback in intermittent doses; take regular renewal breaks; and ritualize practice.

Shilloy’s experiences bear these out: “I am working harder than I ever have. And I’m happier than I’ve ever been. The thing that has become most important to me is my connection to my purpose. People constantly say to me, ‘I wish I could do what you’re doing.’ And I think to myself: ‘Why can’t you?’”

Shilloy recalls putting pen to paper one morning during those four months of depression and asking herself: “What do I want?”

The answer she scribbled down that day still hangs nearby: “A life where I am present. A life where I serve. A life where I don’t resent others. A life that allows me the chance to make a difference. A life that is extraordinary. A life where I laugh often. A life full of love.”

One year later, almost to the day, Shilloy's dreams are her reality. “If that is what’s called being a late bloomer, so be it. But I don’t know that I could have gotten here any earlier.”

And if not a late bloomer, she is, at the very least, a woman in full bloom.


soundoff (84 Responses)
  1. k

    I don't know what it is but as soon as someone says "paradigm" I lose all interest...

    September 22, 2011 at 15:18 | Report abuse | Reply
    • michelle m

      Me too! Another you can be what you want fantasy.

      September 22, 2011 at 17:29 | Report abuse |
    • Your PalBob

      Do you know what a paradigm is? Do you realize you are stuck in a paradigm of nothing is possible and closed mindedness?

      September 23, 2011 at 12:26 | Report abuse |
    • l

      When I saw paradigm, I was waiting for dynamic used as a noun.

      September 23, 2011 at 13:37 | Report abuse |
    • Birgit

      Check out Les Parrott "3 Seconds: The Power of Thinking Twice." Why on earth would you react so strongly to the use of one word such as "paradigm".

      http://yourwellnessbuddy.webs.com/

      September 23, 2011 at 13:40 | Report abuse |
  2. LouAz

    Blah, blah, blah . . . another "story" by some New Yorker that believes NY is the Center of the Universe, about another New Yorker that is trying to find herself, at 40 something.

    September 22, 2011 at 15:22 | Report abuse | Reply
    • AJ

      The city is irrelevant. Transplant it to Tempe, or San Francisco, or Hong Kong, and the message is the same. If you think a story saying "it's never too late" to work hard and prosper is a bad thing, I'm not sure what to say.

      September 22, 2011 at 15:35 | Report abuse |
    • neep

      yeah everbody knows the center of the universe is really Crouch Idaho

      September 22, 2011 at 16:20 | Report abuse |
  3. The real truth 101

    Just because you want a second career doesn't mean you are late for anything. People change and what they want from life changes. It's normal. Just have the courage to reach for it. There are many paths to take and most are not broad.

    September 22, 2011 at 15:25 | Report abuse | Reply
  4. @growingupglobal

    What a powerful and inspiring piece! I also went through a switch of careers, a total re-boot at 40 and am thrilled i did (with continued struggle) 6 years later. Your voice makes an important contribution to CNN.com!!

    September 22, 2011 at 15:27 | Report abuse | Reply
    • yoyo

      Humans don't reboot.

      September 22, 2011 at 16:59 | Report abuse |
    • Richard

      I'm sure her parents didn't mind her moving back in for ?years? That'll work for most of us,, NOT!

      September 22, 2011 at 18:57 | Report abuse |
  5. heavyarms

    Were you lured to this article because of the pretty legs too?

    September 22, 2011 at 15:29 | Report abuse | Reply
    • DEEP

      HAHAHA. THAT WAS THE SAME CASE WITH ME TOO

      September 23, 2011 at 08:53 | Report abuse |
  6. Alex

    I've always admired the people I've known who redefine themselves at an age when most people think you should be established and stable in your career. It's so much harder to break into a new field when you are older for two reasons that I can identify. The first is that culturally, most people believe that self exploration and trying new things is something you should only do at a young age. The second is that older people that are strong enough to break into another field must relinquish the control they've grown accustomed to. You have to accept that you may have a 25 year old boss - so you have to find a way to identify with that person. In a way, you have to become "young again"–without faking youth culture.

    September 22, 2011 at 15:39 | Report abuse | Reply
  7. Farzan

    The photos suggest using legs. Well that works for women and even just some of them.

    September 22, 2011 at 15:45 | Report abuse | Reply
    • max

      you have it all wrong...she just wanted to begin her new career as a hitchhiker.

      September 22, 2011 at 16:41 | Report abuse |
  8. Melissa

    I'm 35. I've been thinking of a change of career myself. I work customer service right now. Quite frankly, I'm sick of it. The people annoy the living heck out me, both in coworkers, and customers, and the greed is unbelievable. I want to do something I truly enjoy. I want to work in computers. But the cost of going to school is extremely high. I don't want to end up with $40,000 in debt when I don't know if I will ever be able to get a job in it. Ten years in my industry, and I'm really starting to feel sick of it.

    September 22, 2011 at 15:48 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Scout

      Here's a book that you mind helpful: 48 Days to the Work You Love by Dan Miller. I thought it was excellent – very good, practical ideas for taking action towards a career change. Wishing you all the best!

      September 22, 2011 at 16:03 | Report abuse |
    • Angie

      I'm also 35 and thinking with a mortgage and two kids...it's too late for me. I already have a BA, but would really like to be an RN. The cost and the time involved are horrifying. It's what I should have done all along. I wasn't one of those people that have known what I wanted to be since I was 5. It's a tough call.

      September 22, 2011 at 16:20 | Report abuse |
    • May

      i didn't change careers, but 3 years ago i took courses to update my skills. i shelled out about $5K, kept working while i took evening & weekend classes. now i make $20K more. point is, it was money i barely can afford at the time & it was a lot of effort. but i powered through it unsure if anything would come out of it. one things for sure, you are sick of your current job. but we will never know if you will be happier should you invest in an education in an industry you already enjoy.

      September 22, 2011 at 16:29 | Report abuse |
    • Melissa

      I have an associates degree as a medical Administrative Assistant including medical billing and medical transcription. But I have never done it for a living, and don't really want to. I should have gone to school for computers. Its what I really enjoy the most. If I'm not on a computer at work, I'm on it at home. I'd rather be doing that. Right now, I'm in customer service. I hate it with a passion but I've been working in some form of customer service since I was 12 years old. Its very hard to find a job elsewhere when thats pretty much all you've known. I want to do something I'll actually enjoy for a change. But the money matters and I don't know what to do.

      September 22, 2011 at 16:34 | Report abuse |
    • Sarah

      I am 36, and quit my good stable job in health-care administration last May. I have been enrolled in full-time school working towards a PA or BSN degree (haven't decided) I too did not have known desire of what I wanted to be when I grew up. I fell into health-care management and just stayed....It is never to late to make a change. And it will always be a scary one. I have a mortgage, 2 kids and a husband. We are learning how to cope with only one salary, and are rediscovering the fun things, that cost nothing. There's a great saying " its never to late to be what you might have been" Best of luck!

      September 22, 2011 at 16:56 | Report abuse |
    • Miriam

      Angie, I went back to school at 40 for my RN (after a divorce and with 2 small kids). If you can't afford the RN school, go to LPN school - it only takes a year. Then save your money and go back for an RN (which will take you another year to year and a half). If this is what you really want, you can make it happen. It's not easy - but it is doable.

      September 22, 2011 at 17:43 | Report abuse |
    • FredMG

      Melissa, there are many different kinds of jobs in "computers". I went to engineering school, have a BSCS (computer science) and never worked professionally in "computers", though I've used my knowledge often due to the work I've done, mostly being in association management. Currently I'm teaching science, math, & computer skills to GED students on a volunteer basis, while looking for another FT job (or one or more PT jobs). I'm over 60, and seriously considering returning to school for a masters in psychology or social work, to eventually work as a therapist, something I could do well into old age, for fun and to help people, aside from whatever money I'd make. For you, check various sites/schools/US dept. of labor, and related resources for the many various kinds of computer jobs - for example: teaching (programs, programming computers, etc); programming (see what languages are most wanted before learning any, which you could do at home in fact); computer repair/network design, installation, fixing (courses like "A+", "Net+", and more advanced computer courses give you the formal training); you could become an MS Office expert and consult or teach others at a business school for example, or in a community college. The point is, there are many ways to work in "computers". While there is a big need for computer people, and many computer people looking for work, you would likely find something you could do and enjoy in computers, just be open minded about the various jobs and where you might consider working or relocating for a jog, if you can relocate. Best of (good) luck and best wishes!

      Fred

      September 22, 2011 at 23:59 | Report abuse |
    • robinrn

      Angie-If you want to be an RN, do it! Don't ever think that it is too late! I went to nursing school as a traditional student, but there were a number of students in my class who were in your situation. They were some of the best students. Maturity and life experience are great assets for those returning to school. If you already have a BA, you may have some credits toward a nursing degree. If your local community college has a nursing program, meet with an advisor to see what courses you would need and what sort of financial aid might be available. It might be possible to take some of the liberal arts and science co-requisites first on a part-time basis so the cost and amount of time required for studying would be less per semester. Once you complete the co-requisites, enroll in the nursing courses. It will take more than two years to graduate, but at least you would be making progress toward your goal. Once you have an associate degree, many hospitals will provide tuition assistance if you want to get a BSN or even a Master's degree. If the only option available in your area is a four year private college, you can still reduce costs by taking all of the science and liberal arts courses at a community college and transferring in for the nursing courses. Alternatively, you could go to a practical nurse program at a vocational school, which would only take a year, but you will have a better salary and more career opportunities as an RN. Good luck to you!

      September 23, 2011 at 10:16 | Report abuse |
    • ellieky

      Melissa, try looking for an entry level job on a computer help desk. It's part customer service, part computer assistance. Help desks are usually lowest rungs in the company, but the entry level requirements are often low and some of the best training you'll ever get is on a help desk. Looks great on your resume, too. :)

      September 23, 2011 at 11:41 | Report abuse |
    • Melissa

      Thank you for your suggestions. What I was thinking of is getting in to doing programming, or graphics and animation. The programming I have a harder time wrapping my head around due to the math required, but I love computers (I even built and tested my own and am buying the parts for a new one now). I have been known to do graphics for my own web sites before using free images online and photoshop/paintshop. I don't know how to use Maya, but I'd love to learn, its just a very difficult program to learn without assistance. Truthfully, I LOVE doing the graphics and stuff. When I have done that in the past, it was like hours could fly by and I didn't even notice, incredibly enjoyable. But I understand that animation is an incredibly difficult field to break into. I don't want to end up $40,000 in debt only to end up working a call center again or something equally as useless. The thing, I don't want to continue what I'm doing. This is maddening. I've been debating trying to use freelance things to do virtual admin at home or desktop publishing just so I don't have to be here anymore and still have something coming in.

      September 23, 2011 at 12:04 | Report abuse |
  9. Woody20

    The legs brought me here...... tricked again by CNN!

    September 22, 2011 at 15:53 | Report abuse | Reply
    • bailoutsos

      Some legs, huh.

      September 22, 2011 at 16:30 | Report abuse |
  10. Robert

    I feel like this, every day. Like I drove down the highway, and totally missed my off-ramp..

    September 22, 2011 at 15:56 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Richard

      I think it's just normal mid-life adjustment, I'm 40 I got it... just gotta restist the temptation to buy a new corvete and cruse for a twenty-something blonde... lol

      September 22, 2011 at 19:12 | Report abuse |
  11. TheTruth72

    "Sound"? You haven't even heard my voice yet. And as for my legs, they are quite hairy.

    September 22, 2011 at 16:13 | Report abuse | Reply
  12. Julie

    After taking care of my elderly mother for 15 y;ears in my home until she died, I am going back to my first love: Art. I left secretarial work almost 40 years ago to go to art school and get my BFA and Masters Degree. I was a practicing artist, supporting myself with other work, for many years. When I was on the brink of success, several family members died within a few years, followed by every major stress there is: divorce, moving, etc., etc. After that came the responsibiltiy of caring for an aging parent. I look forward to doing what I really love. I am still working, and getting the time to do this is difficult, but worth it. By the way, I am 65, and I'm not worried about my age at all. I'm healthy, strong, and happy. Don't give a thought to what is expected of you by others, whether or not you feel successful, or what your age is. Just do it. Do what you love. Life is short.

    September 22, 2011 at 16:20 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Paige

      I want to be you. :0) I would love to just make art. Of course, the reality is that I have a bunch of bills which suck the smoke right out of my pipe dream.

      September 22, 2011 at 16:36 | Report abuse |
  13. Rich

    I just turned 25 and am having a quarter-life crisis: The fear that I'm not doing as well as other people my age and the fact that although I am working, I'm not sure what I really want to do. I do enjoy what I am doing, but feel I need to be doing something for the greater good/enriching myself with new knowledge. My only plan is sometime in life to be a teacher so I can bestow a life of wisdom onto the next generation.

    September 22, 2011 at 16:38 | Report abuse | Reply
    • max

      Rich,
      As long as you're making at least 45K/yr I wouldn't worry too much...but really should be at 45K by now.

      September 22, 2011 at 16:46 | Report abuse |
  14. Shay

    A little over a year ago an event forever changed my life. My marriage of 15 years came to a halt after discovering my husband had been having an affair with a women he worked with. We had made the decision for me to be a full time mother so our kids would never set foot in a daycare and that's what I did for over 12 years. A photographer by trade I worked any schedule around my kids. But when the economy went south, so did my profession as people don't tend to spend on photographs like they do groceries. And now with him being the bread winner and a pending divorce, it has been a HUGE struggle just to find a job without a college degree. So I have gone back to college and am working on a Bachelors in International Studies because my passion is to work and live abroad and make a difference somehow in this world. I'm 37 with a 10 and 12 year old and most of all I want to show my children that you are never too old to start over and you should follow your dreams ALWAYS! If I had not had any children in this situation, I would have sold evertying I had and moved to Brazil and started over. It's my oasis and where I hope to end up one day.

    September 22, 2011 at 16:41 | Report abuse | Reply
    • You Go Girl

      My story is so much like yours, except I am 54 and wishing I had've taken steps when I was your age. Do what you want. Be brave. If you don't do what you want, believe me, the feeling of regret only gets worse.

      September 22, 2011 at 17:19 | Report abuse |
  15. Dale

    How in the world can you make that comment about Julie, who sounds like nothing but a very brave person who soldiered through a lot of hard stuff and still finds life enjoyable and rewarding.

    September 22, 2011 at 16:46 | Report abuse | Reply
  16. Sara

    I'm tired of my job working at an investment bank. Sure the money is great, but there is so much more I want to do with my life. I want to help people, not with their finances, but with attaining better lives. :Sigh:

    September 22, 2011 at 16:46 | Report abuse | Reply
    • realist

      LOL. Thanks for the laugh!

      September 22, 2011 at 18:03 | Report abuse |
    • Richard

      Without money coming in you'll find that difficult. FYI $50.000 is the new $45,000

      September 22, 2011 at 19:19 | Report abuse |
    • DEEP

      WELL THEN HELP ME! SEND ME SOME OF YOUR EXTRA MONEY HERE. I NEED SOME MONEY TO FINISH MY SCHOOL. I DO NOT WANT TO WORK MINIMUM WAGE JOB.

      September 23, 2011 at 08:57 | Report abuse |
  17. Jeremy

    You must be a lot of fun at parties.

    September 22, 2011 at 16:48 | Report abuse | Reply
  18. Dale

    Or, George, maybe you weren't talking about Julie? Confusing. I just don't think it's helpful, at any rate, to call anyone sharing their feelings here a basket case.

    September 22, 2011 at 16:50 | Report abuse | Reply
  19. Not All Docs Play Golf

    When the alarm clock goes off all I can think about is another day on the hamster wheel. I love the scene in the movie American Beauty where Kevin Spacey gets out of bed, into the shower before work. He says, "Look at me. Jerking off in the shower. This will be the high point of my day. It's all downhiil from here." Off to the hamster wheel. And anybody can reach that point in their careers. Doesn't matter whether you're putting in rivets or being a waiter or being a doctor. The hamster wheel.

    September 22, 2011 at 16:54 | Report abuse | Reply
  20. Al

    "There are many paths to the top of the mountain."

    September 22, 2011 at 17:00 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Christianna

      @Al: That's criminals' unjust imaginations. God declared in His Word there is only one Way of salvation. Mankind has only one Savior – the Christ Jesus. Honest humans admit committing sins and rely on the atonement of Savior Jesus. We know there is nothing in ourselves to save us from our own sin and its due justice. Jesus came into this world because humanity cannot save themselves. Repent of your sin and believe in Jesus to be saved and live a godly life on earth.

      September 23, 2011 at 00:36 | Report abuse |
    • ellieky

      The only thing that can save us from ourselves is... ourselves. Jesus tried to teach people this but the political forces that are now the Christian church buried this info so we would become dependent on them instead of ourselves. True, TRUE evil in this world – organized religion.

      September 23, 2011 at 11:55 | Report abuse |
  21. Jerry L. Rhodes

    Starting a new career at 60 or 70 is not realistic, as example, most employers won't hire you when they can employ someone in their 20's or 30's. Also some careers have age limits such as FBI, US Marshall Service and Military. At the Medical College of Georgia, the admission packet to apply for admission to become a medical doctor, there is a age limit stated-if you are over 62 you will not be accepted, regardless of your college grades or MCAT scores.

    September 22, 2011 at 17:05 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Not All Docs Play Golf

      We need more older doctors..... since most of us die young. Most of us doctors at age 50 say that there is no way we could go thru now, at this age, what we had to go thru in medical training . So spend a few 36 hour all nighters at your current job, just to see how you hold up, before you decide you want to go thru medical training as an older dog.

      September 22, 2011 at 17:22 | Report abuse |
  22. Donnie

    We are so obsessed with the monetary value of our lives that we often forget about the intrinsic value that life can hold: Family, values, unconditional love.

    I just want a good life, is that too much to ask in today's age? Maybe a wife and kids, but a nice comfortable place to live where gloom and impending doom don't permeate so much into our lives that we live in constant fear of what is to come and lose our humanity, especially now in the internet age.

    My dream, while I'm in my mid-20's....just pick up, leave the rat race here in nyc (which I don't consider the center of the world) and go to a country like China, teach english there and know that I made a decision braver than most, one that made me a better, more interesting person. Money can't buy such worldly knowledge and experience, right?

    September 22, 2011 at 17:09 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Miriam

      Go, Donnie, go!!! There will never be a better time!

      September 22, 2011 at 17:34 | Report abuse |
    • realist

      Better go now before you're tied down with a significant other, kids, or mortgage.

      September 22, 2011 at 18:02 | Report abuse |
    • Richard

      Or you can work at an NGO, Teaching in Somalia, ducking bullets. or you can drive a truck in 20+ yrs of doing that I'vee seen enough of the world for anyone, and every race of human too.. If it's just travel you're interested in?

      September 22, 2011 at 19:26 | Report abuse |
  23. Barbara Jean

    Sometimes I have days where I just want to pack up and move to Costa Rica. They are apparently the happiest people in the world....I want to know what they're doing over there that we aren't.

    September 22, 2011 at 17:13 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Richard

      No TV, no internet, no newspapers! Their for the most part oblivius to the rest of the Human Condition, try a Lobotamy it's cheeper! lol

      September 22, 2011 at 19:28 | Report abuse |
  24. Miriam

    I don't really buy into the concept of "late-bloomer". It's not like we were sleeping for decades, instead we were growing in other areas. We've already produced some blossoms, we just found the time and energy for a few more of a different hue.

    I,too, made a later life career switch. It was not easy, and things did not "fall into place", but at the time it was a no-brainer choice for me. It does take a person who is somewhat flexible in their approach to life to do that.

    September 22, 2011 at 17:31 | Report abuse | Reply
  25. Oompa

    I'm 40 and still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. It makes me miserable. I graduated with all honors from college, we don't have money problems, I volunteer, I travel and enjoy life, but life doesn't seem purposeful. I hope to find something I'm passionate about. Great article btw.

    September 22, 2011 at 17:37 | Report abuse | Reply
  26. realist

    Be thankful for what you have. There are literally billions of people in this world who have it much worse than any single one of you.

    September 22, 2011 at 18:05 | Report abuse | Reply
  27. BEAUTIFUL I AM

    GUESS NOTHING WILL CHANGE UNLESS YOUR WILLING TO PUT SERIOUS EFFORT IN YOUR GOALS

    September 22, 2011 at 18:05 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Richard

      Work as hard as you want,, you'll end up tired and broken. That's all it got me! For real success try lottery tickets!

      September 22, 2011 at 19:30 | Report abuse |
  28. libramoon

    Rallying

    The Secret to Happiness ~ We Are Happening!
    Find what brings you alive; and do it.
    (not what "I should" to prove that "I'm good," or good
    at being bad)
    Maybe meet people enjoying it too;
    they who give layered texture to our view,
    expand our field of play.
    Lather, rinse, repeat
    as necessary.
    Take it out to the street when necessary.
    Do what you need to be
    what you want to see.
    Do what only you can.
    Make this happening grand!
    Do it today.

    September 22, 2011 at 18:43 | Report abuse | Reply
  29. Claire

    Some people have to almost be surgically removed from their routines, but it can be done. You don't have to do a 180... maybe start by adding something, like a class. For God's sake, start reading. Get off the hamster wheel (as someone here described it), for an hour at a time. Maybe you'll stay off.

    September 22, 2011 at 20:40 | Report abuse | Reply
  30. Christianna

    Yes, anytime any human can admit one's own sinfulness before God and believe in Jesus to be saved and start a new life of godliness, as long as alive.

    September 23, 2011 at 00:29 | Report abuse | Reply
    • DEEP

      R U CRAZY? THIS IS NOT A TOPIC FOR RELIGION. DO NOT DEPEND OF GOD, HE DOES NOT DO THINGS FOR U. DO IT YOURSELF...

      September 23, 2011 at 08:52 | Report abuse |
    • Christianna

      Deep, don't preach the religion of your atheism. Self-help does not work. It made Americans more selfish, more insane and fatter.

      September 23, 2011 at 09:44 | Report abuse |
    • ellieky

      Christianna, I think you have that backwards. It's religion that's made the whole world crazy. The light of god is within you. WITHIN *YOU*.

      September 23, 2011 at 11:49 | Report abuse |
  31. susan

    This is an excellent piece of work, not only is it very informative but beautifully written. Thank you.

    September 23, 2011 at 06:18 | Report abuse | Reply
  32. Dr Bill Toth

    Never too late to live the life you desire. First Decide, then find a coach or mentor who has already accomplished what you seek to do. Then follow their path until you've achieved at least as much as they have, THEN take the road less traveled. Live With Intention, DrBillToth.com/blog

    September 23, 2011 at 07:04 | Report abuse | Reply
  33. DEEP

    I'M AN EXAMPLE. I'M GOING TO BE 30 THIS DECEMBER AND I NEED 1 AND HALF YEARS TO GRADUATE IN AEROSPACE ENGINEERING. THIS IS HOW I FEEL WHEN I AM IN THE CLASSROOM–NOO WHAT DID I DO? WHY DID I NOT GO TO SCHOOL DURING THOSE YEARS. NOW THESE KIDS ARE SMARTER THAN ME. I WISH I COULD DIE AND PLAY THIS LIFE AGAIN WITH A NEW BEGINNING.( JUST LIKE WHEN U PLAY VIDEO GAMES).

    September 23, 2011 at 08:48 | Report abuse | Reply
  34. Sil

    I turn 48 in 2 weeks and just received notice that I'm being terminated; strangely, I think this may be the best thing to happen to me in a very long time. I've known for some time that I needed a new job or career or lifestyle change but I have no idea what to do, so this is a nice boot in the derriere to go find something else.

    I'm luckier than many, I got a nice severance package and outplacement and I have a bit of money set aside. Maybe in a couple years I'll look back and wonder why I squandered a nice paying job, even if it did bore me to tears, but I'm taking the view that this is a great opportunity to do something else. Now, I just need to figure out what that "something else" is.

    September 23, 2011 at 09:46 | Report abuse | Reply
  35. Pam

    We all have things we wish we could do, but some reason we can't. There are different reasons: medical problems getting worse but can't get disability, unavoidable debt, etc. Those who are able to, I applaud. I work at a private four-year career college, and have seen so many lives changed for the better. It just all comes down to what is important and what is not.

    I had to live with my mother for a few years, after losing my job, and have paid her back some of the money she helped me with; I know how the author of this article felt when she had to move back home for a while.

    September 23, 2011 at 09:50 | Report abuse | Reply
  36. Richie

    This is going to sound kind of lame, but there was an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and she gave the "cookie dough speech." She felt that although she was an adult, she was still becoming who she wanted to be. That resonates with me, albeit on a superficial level, but it does make you think, right? We can still become the people we want to be, it takes time, effort, patience, and will. Or am I being too preachy? Prioritize your life, and keep what really matters to you close. Fame, fortune isn't everything. Relationships, knowledge, passion, and your contributions to the next generation are what you'll be remembered for. That's my life's goal. Makes my rainy Friday sitting in my cubicle a little brighter.

    September 23, 2011 at 11:48 | Report abuse | Reply
  37. ellieky

    This comment was a reply to Christianna:

    ellieky
    The only thing that can save us from ourselves is... ourselves. Jesus tried to teach people this but the political forces that are now the Christian church buried this info so we would become dependent on them instead of ourselves. True, TRUE evil in this world – organized religion.

    Christianna
    @Al: That's criminals' unjust imaginations. God declared in His Word there is only one Way of salvation. Mankind has only one Savior – the Christ Jesus. Honest humans admit committing sins and rely on the atonement of Savior Jesus. We know there is nothing in ourselves to save us from our own sin and its due justice. Jesus came into this world because humanity cannot save themselves. Repent of your sin and believe in Jesus to be saved and live a godly life on earth.

    September 23, 2011 at 12:01 | Report abuse | Reply
  38. Birgit

    I'm reinventing myself at age 56, after 20 years as a clinical counselor with a very safe job. Am starting my own business and learning/developing so much. Never go stale, never act old. http://yourwellnessbuddy.webs.com/

    September 23, 2011 at 13:51 | Report abuse | Reply
    • traveler

      Absolutely...well said!

      October 12, 2011 at 13:56 | Report abuse |
  39. LOVE YOURSELF

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    September 24, 2011 at 18:13 | Report abuse | Reply
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Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love.