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To each his own: Men and fetishes
July 21st, 2011
07:17 AM ET

To each his own: Men and fetishes

Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him at his website, GoodInBed.

As a sexuality counselor and author, I’m often asked, “What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever dealt with?”

I wish I could tell them something really juicy, like naked clowns wrestling in Jell-O, for example, but the truth is that most sexual complaints tend to be rather common: sex ruts, mismatched libidos, erectile disorder and premature ejaculation in men, and orgasm problems and painful sex for women.

What people really want to know about are the unusual sexual fetishes of others (also known clinically as paraphilias), which affect a much smaller percentage of people.

Interestingly enough, most of those people happen to be men. That’s not to say that women lack their own unique turn-ons and turn-offs, their kinks and squicks (sexual repulsions), but when it comes to, say, having a favorite fantasy versus having an obsession in which all sexual pleasure is almost exclusively derived from a single object, body part or sex practice, more men seem to fall in the latter category.

In their compelling new book "A Billion Wicked Thoughts," (also discussed in this blog) neuroscientists Ogi Ogas, Ph.D. and Sai Gaddam, Ph.D., analyzed more than a billion Internet searches in order to learn about the differences between male and female sexual preferences, as well as what those differences tell us about how our brains are wired, and why, for example, men are more predisposed to have fetishes:

“The male sexual software is what a computer engineer would call an 'OR gate.' It is instantly aroused by any single cue. The male brain is turned on by deep décolletage or sashaying hips or the whisper of a sultry voice or two Applebee’s waitresses kissing. The female sexual brain is what a computer engineer would call an 'AND gate.' It requires input from multiple cues simultaneously to surpass a combined threshold of activation before arousal occurs. … Though for most men the OR gate can be triggered by any one of a variety of sexual cues, for some men one specific cue is essential. This necessary cue is a fetish.”

Although fetishes have been well-documented since the mid-19th century, and could easily fill an encyclopedia with thousands, if not tens of thousands, of entries (from agalmatophilia to zoophilia), the underlying mechanics of fetishes remain something of a mystery.

And while the American Psychiatry Association recognizes fetishes in its clinical bible, the "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders," there’s much professional dissent about how to treat fetishes and whether treatment can even be effective when a fetish is deeply ingrained in a person.

Freud believed (no surprise) that fetishes stem from issues such as a man’s universal fear of castration or his unconscious fear of his mother’s genitals, while many psychologists continue to believe that some sort of “sexual imprinting” must occur in the early childhood of the fetishist for sexual excitement and the fetish object to become so intricately enmeshed.

Today, fetishes are often treated with a combination of psychoanalysis (the search for deep unconscious meaning behind a fetish), cognitive behavior therapy (in which the fetishist’s thoughts are viewed as irrational ones that can be reversed with conscious mindfulness) and/or psychiatry, which seeks to alter the brain chemistry of the fetishist through drugs.

Even in our own expert-forum at Good in Bed, fetishes are a source of speculation. Recently, for example, a young woman complained of her boyfriend’s “freeze fetish” - his sexual propensity for immobility, statues and wax figures.

While her boyfriend didn’t seem to be exclusively turned on by the fetish, she nonetheless was confused and anxious. Our experts weighed in: “Fetishes don’t usually go away, but they can morph a little,” writes Dr. Madeleine Castellanos, author of "A Woman’s Guide to Men and Their Penis Problems."

“If people are disturbed by them, they could explore what the unconscious interpretation of the fetish is for them. Then they can experiment with another representation of that meaning that they can then assign erotic feelings.”

“The best way to treat fetishes is to identify the nonsexual meanings of the fetish and crack the erotic code by identifying what he is looking for unconsciously through the fetish,” adds psychotherapist Dr. Joe Kort. “Perhaps he was afraid of mannequins in retail stores or impressed with them or aroused by them as a child and now they have become part of this arousal template, or maybe he saw a movie or video about this as a child which caused it to become locked into his mind and now is eroticized.  Whatever the case it could be helpful to understand the origins for both of you.”

Luckily, many people who would normally be distressed by a fetish are now finding like-minded peers via the Internet and/or some form of erotic stimulation (such as specialty porn) that caters to their specific interests.

Or they are fortunate enough to have sexual partners who, in the words of columnist Dan Savage, are sexually GGG (“good, giving and game”) and are willing to stretch their definition of the taboo and incorporate their partner’s fetish into their sex-play.

One single woman I know even joked that she’d love to meet a foot fetishist: At this point in her life, a good foot massage sounded better than sex. Perhaps the greatest goal for couples dealing with a partner who has a fetish is to decide how that fetish fits into their relationship.

“If a man is able to have healthy and hot sex with his partner and have his fetish fantasies without her and enjoy them,” asks Kort, "What’s wrong with that?”

Follow @CNNHealth on Twitter.


soundoff (463 Responses)
  1. AdmrlAckbar

    SO if men have an OR trigger and women and AND trigger.. I take it females have ANDgasms?

    July 21, 2011 at 07:55 | Report abuse | Reply
    • ItsATrap

      Don't quit your day job...

      July 21, 2011 at 09:21 | Report abuse |
    • lauradet

      Yeah, that was not funny at all.

      July 21, 2011 at 09:51 | Report abuse |
    • ninechars

      I laughed lol...

      July 21, 2011 at 10:14 | Report abuse |
    • Fozzy Bear

      Woka woka woka!

      July 21, 2011 at 10:15 | Report abuse |
    • FoolKiller

      Well, yeah. But unfortunately most just fake them. 🙂

      July 21, 2011 at 10:45 | Report abuse |
    • Baron von Frootloop

      It's a choice: and/or gasms.

      July 21, 2011 at 11:05 | Report abuse |
    • Arthur Ruiz

      Giddy Giddy

      July 21, 2011 at 11:25 | Report abuse |
    • Nien Nunb

      It's a Trap!

      July 21, 2011 at 11:59 | Report abuse |
    • D

      *rimshot*

      July 21, 2011 at 12:03 | Report abuse |
    • sardukar

      I dont get it...

      July 21, 2011 at 12:11 | Report abuse |
    • Keith

      I chuckled. I'm a programmer too so maybe it's just a bit part.

      July 21, 2011 at 21:27 | Report abuse |
  2. Dave

    Women dislike men having fetishes because it is usually something that they won't do and they're worried you will leave them to get it. If your man asks you to dress up like a stormtrooper, do it. Chances are, he's going to get crazy excited and turn you into a jiggling pile of aftershocks and drool.

    July 21, 2011 at 08:13 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Chris

      You must date boring women if they usually won't try new or different things. But lol at the stormtrooper idea!

      July 21, 2011 at 08:53 | Report abuse |
    • steeve-o

      Yeah, but what if the guy wants the girl to dress as the stormtrooper, and he wants to dress up as Princess Leia?
      It'd take a special kind of understanding girl to play along with that one.

      July 21, 2011 at 09:09 | Report abuse |
    • DianD

      Agree. There are things we will do and things we won't. I think the same goes for guys though.

      July 21, 2011 at 09:13 | Report abuse |
    • Baron von Frootloop

      Some people flip a coin before playing 'The Stormtrooper and the Milkmaid."

      July 21, 2011 at 09:31 | Report abuse |
    • Name

      There is nothing wrong with fetishes. As long as they are enjoyed by both parties.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:13 | Report abuse |
    • theforce

      The princess thing would take a lot of understanding...but wow would a guy fight HARD to keep the woman willing to go along with that as happy as possible...

      July 21, 2011 at 10:19 | Report abuse |
    • John Boehner

      "As long as they are enjoyed by both parties." That's why I make my wife dress up as a Democrat and whip me.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:39 | Report abuse |
    • Makayla

      I think saying women dislike men having fetishes is wrong. You either don't date often enough, or the women you meet are incredibly boring. I like when men have fetishes because I'm very open minded and I would hope he would be the same. I'm willing to do quite a bit to please a man when he's just as eager to please me.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:54 | Report abuse |
    • giggity.giggity

      true story, ive left quite a few women because they got boring

      July 21, 2011 at 11:27 | Report abuse |
    • satanlovesvulva

      I want my women dressed as a giant vulva, that's my fetish.

      July 21, 2011 at 11:44 | Report abuse |
    • sardukar

      I tried the Batman's Joker once...did not work..

      July 21, 2011 at 12:17 | Report abuse |
  3. spaceman

    Is that a stain on his boot ?

    July 21, 2011 at 09:04 | Report abuse | Reply
    • steeve-o

      I thought that white spot under the boot was a gerbil.

      July 21, 2011 at 09:10 | Report abuse |
    • Baron von Frootloop

      I'm going to assume she stepped on some gum.

      July 21, 2011 at 09:51 | Report abuse |
  4. Kristen

    I don't understand why this article is talking about fetishes like they are a disease. LOL.

    July 21, 2011 at 09:15 | Report abuse | Reply
    • VinoBianco

      They're not a disaease but are considered a psychiatric disorder.

      July 21, 2011 at 09:29 | Report abuse |
    • Rbnlegend101

      The real thing can be a big problem, and they are handled as a "disorder". Many people label any unusual interest as a fetish, which is not what this article is talking about. An actual fetish is not just unusual, it is required for the person to become aroused. It may in fact be something fairly normal and boring, but without it, the person just won't be able to get interested. If you find it hot that your partner is wearing, for example, exactly five silly bands, that's just an interest, but if you can't be intimate with them unless they are wearing five silly bands, no more, no less, and no cheap imitation sillybands, that's a fetish.

      July 21, 2011 at 09:33 | Report abuse |
    • Chris

      VinoBianco – lol, you are a joke. They most certainly are not.

      July 21, 2011 at 09:41 | Report abuse |
    • Dan

      Chris...before you insult others, try doing a little reading. Fetishism is considered a disorder in the category of "paraphilia," which is obsessive se-xual desire. The category also includes voy-eurism and ex-hibitionism.

      RBLegend101 is correct.

      July 21, 2011 at 11:23 | Report abuse |
    • melvinslizard

      I like to use 5 silly bands as a c*ckring

      July 21, 2011 at 16:04 | Report abuse |
  5. good luck

    good luck finding a girl that will want to try something different other than the same old dead fish routine. Good luck to you.

    July 21, 2011 at 09:26 | Report abuse | Reply
    • JBBBB

      Sorry for you that you haven't yet, but don't act like all women are "dead fish". I have a large collection of leather outfits and whips that I would NOT have if it wasn't a turn on for my boyfriend. But I admit, I love wearing it, and see the look in his eyes. Makes it all worth it. Women just need to relax and try new stuff before freaking out and worrying about what it might (but probably doesn't) mean.

      July 21, 2011 at 09:43 | Report abuse |
  6. Baron von Frootloop

    When I get a kink in my hose, I just straighten it out. I hope you know what I mean, because I'm not sure I do.

    July 21, 2011 at 09:27 | Report abuse | Reply
  7. twolfhound

    I'm not 100% certain that is a proven fact...

    July 21, 2011 at 09:31 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Chris

      I am 100% certain that the phrase "proven fact" is redundant.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:28 | Report abuse |
    • Baron von Frootloop

      Can you prove that?

      July 21, 2011 at 10:35 | Report abuse |
    • Raleigh

      And I'm 100% certain that '100% certain' is redundant.

      July 21, 2011 at 12:43 | Report abuse |
    • MrMe

      You beat me to it.

      July 21, 2011 at 15:08 | Report abuse |
    • melvinslizard

      Please, don't say "beat me"

      July 21, 2011 at 16:01 | Report abuse |
    • nope

      Tell that to FOX news, they have mostly unproven fact. 😛

      July 21, 2011 at 14:06 | Report abuse |
    • Blue Õyster Cult

      Oh yeah? Prove it.

      July 21, 2011 at 14:12 | Report abuse |
    • Monica

      Yeah – FOX should stop making up news and cover real, important stuff like . . . . well, like stories about men who like to dress up as women.

      How many people have we killed in Libya?

      July 21, 2011 at 14:16 | Report abuse |
    • melvinslizard

      Yeah, baby... keep talkin' war crimes... almost there...

      July 21, 2011 at 14:20 | Report abuse |
    • Notmyrealname

      LMAO!!!!

      July 21, 2011 at 17:38 | Report abuse |
    • Baron von Frootloop

      "men who like to dress up as women. How many people have we killed in Libya?" You mean total, or just counting men who like to dress up as women? It's hard to say exactly.

      July 21, 2011 at 14:24 | Report abuse |
    • Monica

      No silly, I meant how many cross dressers have killed Libyans. And I don't mean cross-dressing Libyans – all the men there dress like ladies

      July 21, 2011 at 14:28 | Report abuse |
    • Mullah Omar

      I've been wearing a burqa so the Americans can't find me, and I kinda . . . like it now. Don't tell the Taliban, ok?

      July 21, 2011 at 14:35 | Report abuse |
    • Abbey Grabe

      Good – when the feds pick you up and water board you and make you stand in the corner wearing womens clothing, I don't want to hear a peep outta you.

      July 21, 2011 at 14:45 | Report abuse |
    • Mullah Omar

      Yes! Yes! Waterboard me hard, you big hairy Americans! Oops, did I say that out loud?

      July 21, 2011 at 15:03 | Report abuse |
    • Seal Team Six

      Just for that, we aren't going to waterboard you at all, you big sissy.

      July 21, 2011 at 15:04 | Report abuse |
    • hehe101

      I was watching a movie the other day with this line:

      "If a (name of small afghan tribe) man wants to make love to a (name of different tribe) woman, his first choice is a (name of same tribe as the woman) man!"

      Your comment made me think of that. I don't know why it's been 7 months.

      July 21, 2011 at 19:39 | Report abuse |
    • enigma65

      apparently not enough...

      July 21, 2011 at 14:37 | Report abuse |
    • John

      Not Enough

      September 15, 2011 at 13:15 | Report abuse |
    • intothefire

      HAHAHAHA so is 100% certain, i hope you did that on purpose

      July 21, 2011 at 18:11 | Report abuse |
    • balto paul

      You're a tad slow, but at least you got the joke.

      July 22, 2011 at 00:38 | Report abuse |
  8. The shadow

    I have had many girlfriends perform EFRO for me, and its all in how you explain your fetish, and of course i literaly bone them for hours after its performed. the trigger sets me off and that gets her twice the pleasure, thats why it works for me.
    Use your fetish wisely, in most cases to benefit. quid pro quo

    July 21, 2011 at 09:36 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Chris

      I do not know what EFRO is, and you are NOT going to trick me into Googling it at work!

      July 21, 2011 at 09:43 | Report abuse |
    • Dre

      I already Googled it... WTH I'm already reading this article... why not

      July 21, 2011 at 09:57 | Report abuse |
    • Chris

      I'm trying to guess at this point... Extreme Female Rectal Orgasm? External French Robot Operator? I dunno...

      July 21, 2011 at 10:08 | Report abuse |
    • jenn

      LOL – I googled it – it's watching chicks relieve themselves LOL gross.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:09 | Report abuse |
    • Louie's House of Pleasure

      I looked it up for you, "Erotic Female Relievance Observations". Of course that doesn't specify what type of relieving they are doing.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:09 | Report abuse |
    • Ew

      That is both gross and unsanitary.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:13 | Report abuse |
    • Louie's House of Pleasure

      @Ew, truth be told urine is sterile, fecal matter is definitely unsanitary.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:21 | Report abuse |
    • None

      Don't google it, its about pooping. 😦

      July 21, 2011 at 10:25 | Report abuse |
    • Me

      Seriously dude? I think I'd rather you tell me that you like to shag sheep. That's a jacked up thing. I'm guessing you aren't dating outside of the trailer park much huh?

      July 21, 2011 at 11:54 | Report abuse |
    • The shadow

      @'ME' Nows you dont kiss you mother with that mouth do ya , jacked up ya say, and sheep? Yep your from New Zealand eh? bloody buggery ya claim eh mate?

      I have no complaints, they send vids to me email and they get off on me getting off on them.

      July 21, 2011 at 12:09 | Report abuse |
    • Sheepman

      I can never go back to New Zealand. All the sheep line up at the fence and baa "Daaaaaaddy, Daaaaaddy!"

      July 21, 2011 at 12:34 | Report abuse |
  9. Chris

    Redheads. That is all.

    July 21, 2011 at 09:43 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Baron von Frootloop

      Just the heads? Brrr. Y'all are some sick psychos.

      July 21, 2011 at 09:50 | Report abuse |
    • Benny

      Can I have the rest of them?

      July 21, 2011 at 14:03 | Report abuse |
  10. HRPufnstuf

    How about naked clowns wrestling mannequins in retail stores?

    July 21, 2011 at 09:53 | Report abuse | Reply
  11. phil

    I have no fetishes...unless you consider liking women only between the ages of 38 and 55 a fetish.

    Two women making out turns me off. It just doesn't do anything for me.

    July 21, 2011 at 09:56 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Chris

      38 – 55... ? I take it you must never iron, because you seem to have a thing for wrinkles. Yuck.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:05 | Report abuse |
    • justdude

      A women in her 40's (who has taken care of herself) is always a good, good thing. Sadly in high school i was always more attracted by the hot moms and have always dated older women. When the day comes, I'll probably be calling the 40s crowd younger but still be going after them....But the hot ones without child desperation can be hard to pick up. Confident, liberated, healthy and hard to fool...but worth the fight.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:23 | Report abuse |
    • Me

      Yikes. I enjoy maturity in my women...but 38 – 50 as a preference? You sound like a widow chaser to me.

      July 21, 2011 at 11:56 | Report abuse |
  12. sanjosemike

    Missing from this article is a major fetish for females: The prison inmate. Many females are excited by having an on-line or mail relationship with male prison inmates. Often many of them are murderers. Some murderers are very good looking males and offer females a kind of excitement that they could never get from a real relationship. Some murderers get hundreds of pieces of mail every day, professing a desire for marriage. These inmates can also be very intelligent and manipulative. Almost all of the females who write them are against capital punishment and believe sincerely that their object of affection is completely innocent.

    This fetish can be a major problem for women and the family of the females, especially when the prison inmate gets released and goes into the arms of the family. Many of these women have young daughters and sons who become targets of the freed inmate.

    This issue is not discussed in media, because liberal media is embarrassed by presenting women this way, even though it is very common. But prison guards and officials involved in custody are very familiar with this.

    On the other hand, making men look "silly" is very easy for Media, as in the above article.

    sanjosemike

    July 21, 2011 at 09:58 | Report abuse | Reply
    • exasperated

      Uh....yeah, ok...sure.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:30 | Report abuse |
    • Jessica

      Somehow to me a woman doing this is much more of an idiot because a pen pal is not a fetish and neither is cheating on your spouse & family.

      July 21, 2011 at 12:00 | Report abuse |
  13. Andy Parker

    I like to have my man defecate on me while listening to Blue Oyster Cult.

    July 21, 2011 at 10:01 | Report abuse | Reply
    • bachmanntwit

      Blue Oyster Cult? Now THAT is a little out there.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:08 | Report abuse |
    • Baron von Frootloop

      I was listening to BÕC last night, but it didn't make me want to defecate.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:12 | Report abuse |
    • Screaming Dizz Buster #4

      Sacrilege! Expect a visit from the King in Yellow.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:15 | Report abuse |
    • oooty

      Yikes, I don't know what's more gross, the defecation or listening to Blue Oyster Cult....

      July 21, 2011 at 10:24 | Report abuse |
    • Jessica

      Goooo, goooo, Godzilla!

      July 21, 2011 at 12:01 | Report abuse |
    • cwalken

      more cowbell... more cowbell...

      July 21, 2011 at 13:16 | Report abuse |
    • melvinslizard

      Don't fear the quiffer?

      July 21, 2011 at 16:07 | Report abuse |
  14. JT

    Hell, I'd be excited to just get my frigid wife to want to do more than the missionary position and leave the lights on.

    July 21, 2011 at 10:05 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Louie's House of Pleasure

      Amen to that!

      July 21, 2011 at 10:12 | Report abuse |
    • preach it

      I wish a condescending woman making me feel like a jerk for even asking for activity outside of the 10 year established routine was my kink. If so I'd have it made.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:31 | Report abuse |
    • Sheepman

      Liquor. Hard.

      July 21, 2011 at 12:35 | Report abuse |
    • Tracy

      JT, try telling her that, not us!

      July 21, 2011 at 18:21 | Report abuse |
    • Tracy

      It's all about communication, seriously.

      July 21, 2011 at 18:22 | Report abuse |
  15. Greg

    Just the latest story in the recent, but VERY intentional effort by the MSM to make the normal seem deviant and the deviant seem normal. To wit, gay marriage, gay marriage, gay marrige, gay marriage, gay soldiers, gay marriage, referring to that fat pig, Chaz Bono as "he", gay marriage, and now men with fetishes.

    July 21, 2011 at 10:07 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Chris

      You sound like a good match for JT's wife. If missionary once a month with the lights off is enough for you, then that's fine. But some of us have a heartbeat and like to have fun. Deal with it.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:10 | Report abuse |
    • Baron von Frootloop

      Look out! Gay people are under your bed making an agenda.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:16 | Report abuse |
    • Greg

      Don't think gays are under my bed, but working on an agenda – oh yeah! Very much so.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:19 | Report abuse |
    • oooty

      Sounds like you have fetish for everything gay, gay gay

      July 21, 2011 at 10:27 | Report abuse |
    • exasperated

      Greg, you are delusional (or secretly gay)

      July 21, 2011 at 10:27 | Report abuse |
    • JT

      Chris, I agree. Greg, I'll send you my wife's phone number and email address. Sounds like you are a much better match than I am. She also shuts her eyes, clinches her teeth and prays until the evil, vile, disgusting deed is finished. Sounds like you.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:32 | Report abuse |
    • Jessica

      If you think having the same rights as you have an "agenda" so be it. The real gay agenda is to look fabulous and party and dance into the wee hours of the mornings, hardly a threat to society.

      July 21, 2011 at 12:04 | Report abuse |
    • enigma65

      he's a "greg"... 'nuff said!

      July 21, 2011 at 14:46 | Report abuse |
  16. Jen

    Seriously, I have had very little luck finding a man who is into kink. I find they are too intimidated by it. They like to think about it but when it comes down to it, they run. Too bad!

    July 21, 2011 at 10:10 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Chris

      It's hard for us to shake the double-standard imposed on us by society. We're expected to be deferential and respectful to women in public, but dominating and rough in the bedroom. It's a hard dichotomy to wrap your brain around. It takes some time to get used to. When society ingrains the evils of domestic violence in your psyche, it creates a bit of cognitive dissonance when your woman is begging you to hit her. Know what I mean?

      July 21, 2011 at 10:12 | Report abuse |
    • Louie's House of Pleasure

      Hello! Hello! I'm HERE! We exist!

      July 21, 2011 at 10:13 | Report abuse |
    • Getthekinkout

      Its only kink the first time.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:18 | Report abuse |
    • Rob

      Men who like kink are everywhere, you just have to make them feel safe enough to share. As a person who has some kinks himself, I can tell you from experience it only takes one or two people you share with to violate that trust, and cause this secretive behavior.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:23 | Report abuse |
    • Baron von Frootloop

      Don't confuse 'intimidated' with 'disinterested.' I really, really have no interest in beating up women, and also if one came out of the bathroom dressed up in leather and cracking a whip, I would laugh so hard I'd crack a rib. If I have a fetish for anything, it's for deserted places like beaches in winter, parks in off-season, mountain trails . . .

      July 21, 2011 at 10:24 | Report abuse |
    • Jen

      @Chris, exactly. Except I don't do the slapping across the face or getting beat up stuff. It's a control thing, and there has to be a ton of trust there, you have to be in a relationship first. I insist on a "safe word" too, so no one gets hurt. That's important.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:48 | Report abuse |
    • Sov

      Hi Jen! There are tons of websites that cater to us female fetishists. Try fetlife, it's a learning/social site. There are also lots of munches and events you can go to meet like minded people. Please do not be intimidated, we are a relatively "normal" bunch from all walks of life.

      Also, please note: Not all of women want to be dominated by men, some of us prefer to be the ones doing the dominating etc. Now lets explore how against society that goes. 😉

      July 21, 2011 at 13:07 | Report abuse |
    • Jayne

      After over a decade of dating...I finally found a winner! A lot of my exes were all bark and no bite. Sure, they SAY they're into it, but when push comes to shove (pun intended) all the sudden they turn into P-u-ssies!

      July 21, 2011 at 14:53 | Report abuse |
    • Tracy

      Good observation, Chris. Though I almost had an orgasm reading your post. What'd I'd give to find a man who is both chivalrous in public and dominant and aggressive in the bedroom. I don't mean "hit me" but I love it when a man takes charge.

      July 21, 2011 at 18:14 | Report abuse |
    • Tracy

      *What I'd give, sorry.

      July 21, 2011 at 18:15 | Report abuse |
    • Tracy

      Baron von Frootloop, great comment. Are you single?

      July 21, 2011 at 18:16 | Report abuse |
  17. Buckhippo

    My fetish is reading comments on articles about fetishes.

    July 21, 2011 at 10:21 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Baron von Frootloop

      Ewww! You nasty boy! You must really be enjoying yourself right now.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:25 | Report abuse |
  18. xdougx

    2 midgets, covered in thousand island dressing, smacking each other... is that considered a fetish?

    July 21, 2011 at 10:25 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Baron von Frootloop

      It is the national sport on my country.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:26 | Report abuse |
    • Blue Õyster Cult

      That's the name of a song on our new album.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:29 | Report abuse |
    • oooty

      What! no ranch dressing, disgraceful.....

      July 21, 2011 at 10:31 | Report abuse |
  19. exasperated

    I'm typing this with one hand.

    July 21, 2011 at 10:28 | Report abuse | Reply
    • oooty

      I'm typing with no hands....

      July 21, 2011 at 10:32 | Report abuse |
    • Gay People

      We're typing this with Greg's hand.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:54 | Report abuse |
    • Jen

      I'm double clicking my mouse!

      July 21, 2011 at 11:00 | Report abuse |
    • oooty

      Your typing with greg's what?That's not his hand...

      July 21, 2011 at 11:04 | Report abuse |
  20. lulz

    These comments are full of WIN.

    July 21, 2011 at 10:29 | Report abuse | Reply
    • exasperated

      +1

      July 21, 2011 at 10:39 | Report abuse |
    • Benny

      + ∞

      July 21, 2011 at 12:49 | Report abuse |
    • Benny

      (sigh) * " + ∞ " = " + infinity "

      July 21, 2011 at 12:50 | Report abuse |
    • Ayatollah ben Dover

      LIKE LIKE LIKE

      July 21, 2011 at 13:03 | Report abuse |
  21. Remember

    The author of this article has a Sept. 11th fetish.

    July 21, 2011 at 10:29 | Report abuse | Reply
  22. bachmanntwit

    Good fetish movie..."The Secret Enema Queens fron Uranus" starring Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin.

    July 21, 2011 at 10:29 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Greg

      I've got this friend, it's not me, you understand, who has a thing about Sarah Palin. Was she really in that movie?

      July 21, 2011 at 10:52 | Report abuse |
    • enigma65

      Or the lost Star Trek episode "Kingons on Uranus"

      July 21, 2011 at 14:49 | Report abuse |
  23. bunchofnoise

    Safe, Sane, Consensual. If those 3 conditions are met and you find a willing adult partner, what's the big deal?

    July 21, 2011 at 10:30 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Baron von Frootloop

      Just don't do it out in the street and scare my poodle. That's all I'm asking.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:35 | Report abuse |
    • Jen

      @bunchofnoise, meet noisychick!

      July 21, 2011 at 10:51 | Report abuse |
    • Jeff B.

      hmmm safe and consensual is fine – I'm not partial to "sane", though....

      July 21, 2011 at 11:22 | Report abuse |
  24. Gay People

    We are after Greg.

    July 21, 2011 at 10:33 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Greg

      Funny you mention that – I actually know someone who had to quit his job as a professional Vegas dancer because his life was being threatened by many of the gay dancers. He was either "a closet queen," Self-loathing," or "didn't belong here" according to them. Either way, they made it very clear, he wasn't welcome, "or else"

      July 21, 2011 at 10:46 | Report abuse |
    • Jayne

      Fear and Self Loathing in Las Vegas?

      I made a funny.

      Anyone got a fetish for that?

      July 21, 2011 at 14:56 | Report abuse |
    • melvinslizard

      Yes, Jayne, I get a major rager when Greg's friends lose their jobs 🙂 mmmmmmm jobs

      July 21, 2011 at 16:16 | Report abuse |
  25. mybackshurts

    My gf wears my clothes so I wear hers.

    July 21, 2011 at 10:39 | Report abuse | Reply
  26. Greg

    ootcy – you are a db
    Question: Why do liberals mock psychologists who attempt to "re-orient" their gay patients to being straight, but applaud surgeons who attempt to "change" their male patients into female, and vv? Which seems more improbable and unnatural to you?

    July 21, 2011 at 10:41 | Report abuse | Reply
    • exasperated

      Because they're not really psychologists.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:42 | Report abuse |
    • Tranny

      Gee, Greg, you didn't think it was so unnatural last night in your car, did you? Call me. Wink wink.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:42 | Report abuse |
    • Greg

      What? You're a man?

      July 21, 2011 at 10:43 | Report abuse |
    • oooty

      I want to be thought of as hip and open minded. EVEYONE, PLEASE ACCEPT ME!!!

      July 21, 2011 at 10:52 | Report abuse |
    • oooty

      What's is a db? No sense of humor Greg? I see.....

      July 21, 2011 at 11:07 | Report abuse |
  27. exasperated

    I'm 98% certain there aren't degrees of certainty.

    July 21, 2011 at 10:41 | Report abuse | Reply
  28. Greg

    Lawmakers should do something to fight that hot, sweaty gay agenda.

    July 21, 2011 at 10:46 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Greg

      It's so tight and greasy!

      July 21, 2011 at 10:47 | Report abuse |
  29. Blue Õyster Cult

    Greg is under our bed.

    July 21, 2011 at 10:48 | Report abuse | Reply
  30. Greg

    Hey! Quit spoofing my name! You're making me sound like a whiny little girl!

    July 21, 2011 at 10:50 | Report abuse | Reply
    • oooty

      Let's make fun of people who think differently than us. But remember, we must stick together! Derision is always more fun (and safe) when done by angry mobs.

      July 21, 2011 at 10:56 | Report abuse |
    • Baron von Frootloop

      I always prefer the lone wolf method. Leave it in a burning bag on their doorstep, ring the bell, and run! They'll stamp on it every time.

      July 21, 2011 at 11:50 | Report abuse |
  31. nancy

    Who wants gum?

    July 21, 2011 at 10:58 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Thor

      ....frog-diner....

      July 21, 2011 at 14:11 | Report abuse |
  32. I got one

    I get turned on by cutting women's hair or seeing them get their cut. And I feel like a freak every day for it. It can suck pretty bad if it's out there in terms of being weird.

    July 21, 2011 at 10:58 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Chris

      And you didn't become a stylist, why? You would be the happiest man on earth!

      I wish I got turned on by servers and bundles of cable 😦 Oh well.

      July 21, 2011 at 11:17 | Report abuse |
    • I got one

      Eh, lots of reasons. Mainly because it would be god awful uncomfortable to be turned all day and I'd have to wear baggy pants to conceal it. Plus if anyone found out in real life I'd be seen as pretty much the creepiest person known to man.

      July 21, 2011 at 11:31 | Report abuse |
    • D

      Please watch the movie "You Don't Mess With the Zohan". I think you will really like it 🙂

      July 21, 2011 at 21:13 | Report abuse |
  33. oooty

    Come on everyone – let's show the world what "open minded" and "tolerant" means and drive all conservatives from CNN! This is OUR news site!!!

    July 21, 2011 at 11:00 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Greg

      I'm with you, brother! And afterwards, let's meet for dinner and drinks!

      July 21, 2011 at 11:01 | Report abuse |
    • Baron von Frootloop

      I'd rather drive them crazy than away. It's more fun.

      July 21, 2011 at 11:02 | Report abuse |
    • oooty

      Not just drive them crazy, we need to silence them! The First Amendment is overrated. We must control speech!

      July 21, 2011 at 11:06 | Report abuse |
    • Greg

      Oh, oooty, I'm getting so aroused by your manly words. We MUST meet in RL.

      July 21, 2011 at 11:12 | Report abuse |
  34. ClownStud

    I like watching two tigers do EFRO, it really gets my blood boiling and I usually have to redo my make up.

    July 21, 2011 at 11:04 | Report abuse | Reply
  35. letsgomets2011

    If the fetish harms nobody, it's not illegal and it exploits nobody and if both parties are comfortable with it, why not?

    July 21, 2011 at 11:07 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Ayatollah ben Dover

      IT BURNS MY EYES! AAAH! MAKE IT STOP!! NO! OH GOD, WHY DID I LOOK?

      July 21, 2011 at 11:21 | Report abuse |
    • Buster Bloodvessel

      One word: goatse

      July 21, 2011 at 11:45 | Report abuse |
  36. Greg and oooty

    We are a couple now. Congratulate us, everyone.

    July 21, 2011 at 11:13 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Greg and oooty

      We're throwing a party under the Blue Õyster Cult's bed.

      July 21, 2011 at 11:14 | Report abuse |
    • Baron von Frootloop

      Should I bring a covered dish, or an agenda?

      July 21, 2011 at 11:44 | Report abuse |
    • Pegasus

      My agenda says to bring a covered dish.

      July 21, 2011 at 12:05 | Report abuse |
  37. joflow

    i give up. i've posted twice and have not offended anyone and cnn won't post them.
    i give up. i will never post on this site again. bye

    July 21, 2011 at 11:18 | Report abuse | Reply
    • exasperated

      We'll miss you.

      July 21, 2011 at 11:19 | Report abuse |
    • Baron von Frootloop

      Certain keywords, often relating to reproductive organs and other junk, are auto-censored. Rewrite and avoid being blunt. Look up clbuttic.

      July 21, 2011 at 11:27 | Report abuse |
    • Chris

      baaaawwwwwwwwww

      July 21, 2011 at 11:29 | Report abuse |
  38. exasperated

    My wife gets hot listening to the BBC

    July 21, 2011 at 11:19 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Pub(l)ic Broadcasting

      I love the sonorous voices of the men on NPR describing nature scenes.

      July 21, 2011 at 13:38 | Report abuse |
  39. Biff

    Is bunghole love a fetish?

    July 21, 2011 at 11:20 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Baron von Frootloop

      Only the bunghole part. Love is not a fetish.

      July 21, 2011 at 11:37 | Report abuse |
    • Chris, Austin

      Every day except Friday. That's your day in the barrel.

      July 21, 2011 at 12:14 | Report abuse |
    • Satan

      You're going to hate Thursdays.

      July 21, 2011 at 16:06 | Report abuse |
  40. Really!?

    "In their compelling new book "A Billion Wicked Thoughts," (also discussed in this blog) neuroscientists Ogi Ogas, Ph.D. and Sai Gaddam, Ph.D., analyzed more than a billion Internet searches ..."

    A billion?! Really?! A billion!?!?!

    July 21, 2011 at 11:32 | Report abuse | Reply
  41. woodie

    I like virgins. But they are as rare as the albino dodo bird. In fact, I've never met one personally.

    July 21, 2011 at 11:34 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Baron von Frootloop

      I heard the Virgin Islands were full of them.

      July 21, 2011 at 11:39 | Report abuse |
    • Pegasus

      Talk to their lord, Richard Branson. He can oblige you.

      July 21, 2011 at 12:04 | Report abuse |
    • Benny

      Virgins aren't a fetish, they are a myth!

      July 21, 2011 at 13:17 | Report abuse |
    • Justin S.

      I know of a way a man could get his hands on 70 of them. Strap this to your chest.

      July 21, 2011 at 16:00 | Report abuse |
  42. shalo

    I have thoroughly enjoyed reading the comments today...thanks

    July 21, 2011 at 11:42 | Report abuse | Reply
  43. whimsical whiplash

    l think we should all go saturdaying on thursday...

    July 21, 2011 at 11:45 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Baron von Frootloop

      Thursday? So am I! Let's have a drink.

      July 21, 2011 at 11:47 | Report abuse |
  44. steve-o

    I have a fetish for women that are lesbian, eskimo, midget, left-handed, ninja, and last but not least...albino

    July 21, 2011 at 11:50 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Baron von Frootloop

      I bet there's a website for that.

      July 21, 2011 at 11:52 | Report abuse |
    • Justin S.

      Check out pale/leskimo.org

      July 21, 2011 at 15:58 | Report abuse |
  45. AGeek

    F–king idiot author. OR gates, AND gates, NAND & NOR gates are *electrical* engineers, not computer engineers.

    July 21, 2011 at 11:52 | Report abuse | Reply
    • AnotherGeek

      But my computer engineering job always has things like:
      my_fetish = female & (junk_in_trunk | strap_on | french_maid)

      July 21, 2011 at 16:00 | Report abuse |
  46. steve-o

    what ever floats your boat...

    July 21, 2011 at 11:53 | Report abuse | Reply
  47. steve-o

    how about two girl...one cup, if you dont know what that is look it up.

    July 21, 2011 at 11:55 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Richard von Krafft-Ebing

      Don't do it, folks. It's a trap.

      July 21, 2011 at 11:58 | Report abuse |
  48. Richard von Krafft-Ebing

    Tell us more about the Applebee's waitresses. What do they look like?

    July 21, 2011 at 11:56 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Ozzi

      redhead and brunette

      July 21, 2011 at 11:58 | Report abuse |
    • Richard von Krafft-Ebing

      Long hair? Short? Is one of them the other one's boss?

      July 21, 2011 at 12:03 | Report abuse |
  49. Ozzi

    If the guy I date did not have a fetish, I probably wouldn't bother with a second go-around.

    July 21, 2011 at 11:59 | Report abuse | Reply
  50. Richard von Krafft-Ebing

    I like to dress up as Greg.

    July 21, 2011 at 12:00 | Report abuse | Reply
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Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love.