 |
|||||||||||
|
|||||||||||
 The author before her hair loss began.
July 11th, 2011
07:29 AM ET
An agonizing secret: One woman's story of lossEditor's note: Lisa O’Neill Hill is the co-owner of a writing, editing and consulting business in Southern California. At first I thought the shedding was temporary and must be connected to a medical problem. I consulted eight doctors, endured dozens of blood tests and spent thousands of dollars. I secretly hoped I had a thyroid problem, a hormone imbalance, some kind of vitamin deficiency, even lupus. I needed an explanation. But all the tests came back negative. That doctor gave me hope, but that hope has long since faded. Although his regimen has worked for many, it didn’t for me. I suspect nothing will. After exhausting my options, I’ve had to face the truth: nothing is going to stop my hair from falling. My father and brother have varying degrees of hair loss and my mother always had fine hair. My maternal aunt had very little hair on the top of her head, classic female pattern baldness. I’ve never been thrilled with my appearance, but my hair was the one thing I was frequently complimented on. It was an integral part of my identity. When my hair began to shed, my already fragile self-esteem broke apart. I felt ugly, ashamed. Watching my hair abandon me put me in a dark place. I went to therapy for a year and began taking antidepressants. I was in crisis. Those around me, even though they were there for me, didn’t quite understand why this was affecting me so brutally. I’d sob in my husband’s arms and talk about my hair constantly and obsessively. My hair was the last thing I’d think about before I went to sleep. And it was the first thing on my mind when I woke up. For a long time, my sanity was held together by a group of strangers, women across the country and around the world who, like me, are struggling to conceal their hair loss and handle the deep emotional toll it takes. We met on the Women’s Hair Loss Project, an online support network where we traded information about treatment options, coping mechanisms, hair pieces, the numbers of hairs that fall out (yes, some of us count) and where we lauded considerate doctors and condemned dismissive ones. Our stories had commonalities: Losing our hair made us feel unattractive, unworthy, less womanly. It robbed us of joy. We withdrew. “I want to die,” one woman wrote. In public, we studied other women, envious of the hair that they take for granted. I had that hair once. I marvel at old photos. At the time, I didn’t realize or appreciate how much hair I actually had. I do what I can to hide what is happening. I had my hair cut shorter to make it appear thicker. I part it a certain way. My hairdresser styles my hair frequently, blowing it out with a big brush. I am beyond grateful to her. Still, I worry about others noticing my hair loss, about what my head will look like tomorrow, next week, next year. When I commit to a social engagement months away, one of the first things I think about is what my hair will look like by then. For a long time, I’ve kept my secret close to me. But it’s been exhausting. I may not be at the point of my hair loss being that noticeable, but I know one day it will be. What then? I am afraid it will send me back into that dark place. For women with genetic hair loss, the options are limited. We can use Rogaine (which works on some people but only for as long as it is applied), take medications that will suppress our levels of testosterone and increase our levels of estrogen, or look for something cosmetic like a hair piece. We are desperate for a solution. I’ve lost faith in the medical establishment. I’ve been dismissed by cavalier doctors who undoubtedly looked at my head of hair and thought I was crazy. Everyone loses hair, they said. That’s true. But for most people, that hair grows back. I knew all along that my situation was different; my follicles were dead. I just wish I hadn’t been right. I’m grateful I don’t have cancer or some other life-threatening illness. Yet this has cut me to the core. My 7-year-old daughter knows not to touch Mommy’s “delicate” hair and asks why I frequently wear baseball caps. At the grocery store, at church, at the mall, I notice other women with genetic hair loss. We are a sorority of suffering sisters. My hair is still falling out. In fact, lately it seems to have increased. It still makes me sad, but I know I have done everything in my power to remedy it. It’s time to stop fighting and to accept the cards I have been dealt. I know I’m making progress. I have transitioned from hysteria to detachment. I no longer cry about my hair loss. I am loath to give this any more power. This is part of who I am. I shouldn’t be ashamed, but somehow what is happening makes me feel less than the person I used to be. I am more than my hair. At least that’s what I constantly try to tell myself.
Next entry »My ear is clogged. Should I get antibiotics?
« Previous entrySecondhand smoke boosts kids' ADHD, learning disability risks
|
  About this blog
Get a behind-the-scenes look at the latest stories from CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Senior Medical Correspondent Elizabeth Cohen and the CNN Medical Unit producers. They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love. Recent Comments
 |
||||||||||
|
|
|||||||||||
© 2012 Cable News Network. Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
| Advertise with us | About us | Help | Advertising Practices
ELSPETH....I went over to find that site and Now I have no problems. Those kids don't deserve that. I don't know if I deserve this either, but I will shave my head when the time comes for them. I have a scarred head and was so anxious and afraid to expose it. Not any more. I'll stick a bow to it and put glitter on it if I want. It doesn't matter. I am going to learn more about it. Thank you so much. Sorry I couldn't figure out how to do a "reply" so this will be out of order, I think. Not a great computer person.
Lisa, we used to "talk" on whlp! I rarely go on anymore. Like you, my hair still falls...it's probably the worst it's ever been now. It falls out by the handful when I wash it, and is still all over the house, me, the car, etc. The time will come when I will need something to hide the ever thinning areas (esp. in the front), but I can't deal with that just yet. One day at a time. Anyway, fantastic article, I do think of you from time to time.
Really glad I found this by googling. I'm closer and closer to looking like Gollum and this past 2 weeks went through another episode of losing handfuls (well, not handfuls because I don't even have that) of hair after showering.
Misery loves company and I'm sorry about that, but reading your stories about hair everywhere, house, clothes, bed, floor, counters – but not on your head anymore helps in a very weird way. Where I'm at is the worst so far. I woke up to a huge bald spot amongst the hidden bald spots but there's no covering this one – and I'm female. This has been going on for 7 years, with 6 doctors and no one has a clue. I used Ovation for 2 years solid – the hair loss 'seemed' to abate but I never grew more hair and then even Ovation failed. I kept using it more on than off for the 3rd year and then just gave up hope.
II don't want to go out in public. Most people look really bad in hats but I'm thinking of searching for one to hide my shame. I'm pretty sure you all get my despair.
Thanks for being here.
If you have not been, please get tested by a knowledgeable doctor for PCOS or Insulin Resistance. Hair loss is a very typical symptom for women with either insulin resistance or PCOS. Please don't give up hope!
Test
Testing
Why isn't the actual comment I'm trying to post working, but my "test" posts are?
Lisa, thanks for sharing your hair loss story. It's really nothing to be ashamed of. While it appears that women experience hair loss less frequently than men, genetic baldness affects millions of women worldwide. There are also many non-genetic causes of hair loss as well.
As you said, there are limited options for genetic hair loss, especially for women. Propecia (typicvally only prescribed to men) and Rogaine can provide marginal benefit but doesn't do much to regrow hair.
Hair transplant surgery may be an option for you if you are a candiate, but many women with thinning hair on the sides and back of their scalp aren't qualified candidates. But if you're only experiencing hair loss on top, you may be a candidate.
Our hair loss forum community is very sympathetic towards men and women suffering from hair loss and is a great place to research information and garner support. You are welcome and encouraged to share your story with our popular community full of educated patients and expert hair restoration physicians.
Best wishes,
Bill – Managing Publisher of the Hair Loss Learning Center at http://www.hairlosslearningcenter.org
I too am suffering from unexplained hair loss and can so relate to your feelings. Thank you for sharing them. My hair has always been fine but now (I am 54) I have a lot less of it. I really miss my hair! I now have "hair envy" when I see women who have full heads of hair. And I definitely notice my fellow thinners too. I was also was treated like I was being vain by my doctor, my gynecologist and my dermatologist who offered little or no advice. My doctor told me to rub my head and my dermatologist said to use rogaine for men and said to not worry about side affects (really!?) so I am not sure what to do. I do meditate and remind myself often that I am not my hair and that seems to help! Hang in there, you are definitely not alone.
Always remember,god does not punish people
Generally, hair loss in patches signifies alopecia areata. Alopecia areata typically presents with sudden hair loss causing patches to appear on the scalp or other areas of the body. If left untreated, or if the disease does not respond to treatment, complete baldness can result in the affected area, which is referred to as alopecia totalis. When the entire body suffers from complete hair loss, it is referred to as alopecia universalis. It is similar to the effects that occur with chemotherapy.";
My personal web portal
http://homelifestylecentral.com