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Inside women's sexual brains, preferences and porn
May 9th, 2011
08:01 AM ET

Inside women's sexual brains, preferences and porn

Men everywhere have probably wondered for thousands of years: What turns women on?

In the age of the Internet, it's possible to find out. And with countless genres of images, videos and erotic stories available online, women are both able and empowered to access arousing material, and figure out for themselves what they like. Some are watching porn, as our sex columnist Ian Kerner pointed out in a recent column.

But what women are viewing and reading is usually not what men are searching for, according to a new book on the subject. In "A Billion Wicked Thoughts," released Thursday, neuroscientists Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam combine web searches, personal search histories, websites, and classified ads with insights from brain science to discover precisely how different women are from men.

Just like we're all born with taste cues - sweet, salty, savory, spicy, bitter - men and women's brains are wired with sexual cues, Ogas said. For men, the cues are predominantly visual, and aimed at the partner; they often enjoy seeing women orgasm, which may be one of the reasons why so many women fake. But women are more complex; they place a high importance on feeling desired, for example, whereas it appears men generally don't need to feel desired at all in order to feel aroused.

"A woman wants to know that there’s going to be repeat action, that he’s committed and is going to be coming back," Ogas said.

Women are sexually complex in other important ways. If a man is physically turned on, he's also psychologically turned on, which is why medications for erectile dysfunction (i.e. Viagra) can deliver fairly straightforward results. But a woman can be physically turned on and mentally turned off at the very same time, making efforts toward a treatment for low female sexual desire all the more complicated. And as to what makes a woman go beyond mere arousal and have sex, you'll have to read this other article.

The female sexual brain is also like a “detective agency” that investigates a man’s many qualities before deciding  whether he’s worth her attention, the authors said. Evolutionarily, that makes sense. In the earliest days of humans, females who mated with the first males they encountered would not have fared as well as those who took the time to investigate their partners a little more. The "detective agency" would make sure that the chosen male would not be cruel, unfaithful or sneaky, would protect the woman and her child.

More important than evolution, though, is the "software" of the sexual brain, Ogas and Gaddam said.

Again, men are simple: The male brain is designed so that any stimulus can trigger arousal. For some, a single cue is necessary and sufficient, which is what makes a fetish, well, a fetish. For instance, some men get turned on in the presence of attractive shoes or feet, and need to see that in order to feel stimulated. On the other hand, fetishes are extremely rare among women. The female brain usually doesn't respond to a single trigger every time; there can be lots of different combinations of things that can get them in the mood.

"The male sexual brain is like a single toggle switch, whereas the female sexual brain is like the cockpit of an F1 fighter jet," Gaddam said. "There are tons of dials and instruments, and there's sophisticated calibration going on."

To fully appreciate this, feast your eyes on these two real search histories from America Online users:

MAN: college cheerleaders; cheerleaders in Hawaii; pics of bikinis and girls; pretty girls in bikinis; girls suntanning in bikinis; college cheerleader pics in bikinis; noooooooo; christian advice on lust

WOMAN: orlando bloom as vampire fanfiction; 321 sex chat; kingdom of heaven fanfiction; cinderella wedding dresses; gossip on orlando bloom; legolas erotica; legolas heterosexual erotica; evil orlando bloom dark fanfiction

As you can see, this woman tends to prefer stories ("fanfiction," or narratives based on existing movies/TV/literature) much more than the man, who searches for specific images. The majority of these stories are romantic and lightly erotic, but plenty of women like graphic erotic stories, too. In the search above you can see this one gal is particularly interested in Legolas from "Lord of the Rings" and the actor who portrays him: Orlando Bloom. And there's a lot of conversation that goes on among women about erotic stories about the inner feelings of the characters, whereas men consume porn alone and don't talk about the aesthetics, Gaddam said.

"Male erotica is a solitary enterprise, and female erotica is a social enterprise," Ogas said.

A minority of women do watch visual porn. Based on analyses of user profiles on a porn website, these ladies tend to be more socially aggressive, comfortable taking risks, and open to bisexual experiences. They also tend to have a higher sex drive.

And while many men do seek out porn involving young women, there's a substantial interest in seeing scantily clad (or not clad at all) older women too. Significant numbers of web searches and websites out there are devoted to women in their 40s, 50s, 60s. There's even a genre called "granny porn," with a consistent following, in which the male performer's age is highly variable.  It's hard to know how old the men are who are seeking this class of erotica, but the authors speculate they come from a wide range of ages, since men's sexual interests are pretty solid by age 25. Women, on the other hand, have much more flexible and dynamic interests during a lifetime.

What about homosexuality? The authors compared gay and straight male sexuality, and found they were strikingly similar. The differences: gay men like men, and are more likely to be aroused by the submissive role in sex than straight men. Lesbians are far more complicated, and Ogas and Gaddam don't think they have enough information to make any definitive comparisons about it.

The authors don't take any moral positions on any of this, but they do point out that individual tastes and preferences are difficult or impossible to modify. Yet everyone assumes their own interests are the norm, and we quickly label anything else as weird or even dangerous, Gaddam said.

"We should all be more sexually tolerant," Ogas said.


soundoff (286 Responses)
  1. KateB

    *lol* the "preference list" had me on the floor...*Squeee!*

    May 9, 2011 at 10:03 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Ellie

      Me too. Quite similar to my own internet search history, just replace Orlando Bloom/Legolas with Inception.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:36 | Report abuse |
    • Q&A

      Inside a woman's brain: Chocolate covered Snackwells.....mmmmmmmm........ding!ding!ding! (Orgasm)

      May 9, 2011 at 12:32 | Report abuse |
    • Freindly Reminder

      A piece... ha, ha, ha, left out. A friend with benefits is THE BEST way to handle most issues. It's is hard... he, he, he said hard, to hate a friend. And women need friends first, then benefits. Show them friendship and they will give you the world. When you find the friend that will give you his time effortlessly, endlessly,keep that one. See, real friends that talk about everything and do almost everything together are the ones that ARE best in bed.

      May 9, 2011 at 12:34 | Report abuse |
  2. Jason

    yeah, duh. Nothing new here.

    May 9, 2011 at 10:05 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Katie

      Ha, while I personally agree, it's amazing how some men don't get it. "You liked this last time, why don't you like it now?" is quite common. Or, my favorite, "This drove my last g/f crazy... what's wrong with you that you don't like it?"

      May 9, 2011 at 11:46 | Report abuse |
    • Carnac the Magnificent

      Women are supposed to be the better communicators, so why can't they communicate to men something as simple as what will get them off? It's because they themselves don't even know. It changes minute to minute. Good luck trying to find any consistency of s3xual satisfaction that way.

      LOL to the person who asked "How can you tell if a woman orgasms?" Answer: Who cares!

      May 9, 2011 at 12:39 | Report abuse |
    • 2cents4free

      All BS!!! Trust me, all you need is a sixpack and a big johnson.

      May 9, 2011 at 13:31 | Report abuse |
  3. Valerie

    Basically, men are pigs and will screw your daughter, if given the chance. Gross.

    May 9, 2011 at 10:06 | Report abuse | Reply
    • James

      And yet almost every story coming out lately about a teacher and a student involves.....a female teacher......

      May 9, 2011 at 10:10 | Report abuse |
    • wordnew

      Depends on her age.

      May 9, 2011 at 10:11 | Report abuse |
    • Jason

      We're hard-wired to "preserve our seed," to crib from the Bible.

      So, when are you going Sappho, oh bitter hag-to-be?

      May 9, 2011 at 10:14 | Report abuse |
    • Valerie

      ...............and here come all the comments I BANKED ON! LOL! You are all so predicatable!

      May 9, 2011 at 10:19 | Report abuse |
    • John Sharp

      What a limited intellect.

      May 9, 2011 at 10:33 | Report abuse |
    • Harold

      not getting any huh, Valerie? (bitter!!)

      May 9, 2011 at 10:48 | Report abuse |
    • TP

      Your damaged beyond repair.......nice comment. Might be your choice of Men, better luck next time and you might want to put a little blame on your daughter too.

      May 9, 2011 at 10:57 | Report abuse |
    • Jason

      I bet Valerie is a freak in the bedroom.

      May 9, 2011 at 10:57 | Report abuse |
    • El Kababa

      Good point Valerie. We can all pretty much agree on that. A man with an erection will do pretty much anything. It is unfortunate for the females of the human race that evolution did not provide them with a suitable opposite gender.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:04 | Report abuse |
    • breeze6839

      Fact is Valerie, you can't live without us.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:06 | Report abuse |
    • El Kababa

      On the other hand, I have to say that men put up with a lot of crap from women. With women the problem is not so often infidelity, but the men I know complain a great deal about the behavior of their women – the endless nagging, the time wasted on boring activities, the emotional ultimatums, tantrums, etc. Men pay a high emotional price for marriage – most of them silently.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:11 | Report abuse |
    • UCFknightman

      I'm a man, and I will NEVER make ANY apology for being one.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:12 | Report abuse |
    • Libberated

      Valerie, Do you have a I daughter? if so, is she cute? I am in the mood for some fun.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:20 | Report abuse |
    • Bubba

      El K, guys who complain about women being girly and liking girly things are just not that into women. Sorry, but us straight guys like it when they cook stuff and want jewelry and paint their nails and stuff. They are chicks; what do you expect?

      May 9, 2011 at 11:22 | Report abuse |
    • some emo kid

      Oink oink. What does your daughter look like?

      May 9, 2011 at 11:23 | Report abuse |
    • zooloo

      All the females in the world are daughters of someone. So, logically she's right. But thankfully we men go further. We also do your sister, female friend, neighbour, co-worker and just for a powertrip, we also do mother-in-laws too. Just put it this way, we are at you service.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:31 | Report abuse |
    • John

      And yet your daughter's screwing, nice try.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:35 | Report abuse |
    • crabman

      aren't you somebodys daughter??? just wondering

      May 9, 2011 at 11:41 | Report abuse |
    • SeanNJ

      Valerie's rubbing one out to the comments.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:45 | Report abuse |
    • JayPass

      You post an insulting comment about men and then claim that men are 'so predictable' ? That's like saying all people who stop at red lights are soooo predictable. Your single contribution to the conversation has devolved it into the area that you outlined in your first idiotic comment. Basically, it's your fault. Have fun with the world you create.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:58 | Report abuse |
    • Rick

      Better yet – your daughter AND you. At the same time!

      May 9, 2011 at 11:59 | Report abuse |
    • johnboy

      Daddy/daughter p0rn is HOT and all over the internet. checkmate.

      May 9, 2011 at 12:02 | Report abuse |
    • Mitch

      "and here come all the comments I BANKED ON!"

      You throw out a completely narrow-minded and ignorant comment like your original statement and you think you should NOT get inundated with pointed replies? You are truly a moron in every sense of the word.

      May 9, 2011 at 12:17 | Report abuse |
    • Heann

      Val is ok now – i just got her off with my fingers but I was thinking of her daughter so its cool

      May 9, 2011 at 12:26 | Report abuse |
    • Q&A

      And basically, women may orgasm over just about anything......or nothing at all.

      May 9, 2011 at 12:33 | Report abuse |
    • moe smith

      Valorie is just a disgrunted and sxually frustrated chubby that no guy, even when drunk enough wants to chase.

      May 9, 2011 at 13:46 | Report abuse |
    • Daughter-screwer

      Maybe the daughter is a better screw than you!

      May 9, 2011 at 18:56 | Report abuse |
  4. James

    While there is some truth to the fact that women want to know a man might commit, let's face it for every man to "hook up" in a casual encounter.....there is a woman....well okay not always, but you know what I mean.

    So in general terms women are wired differently from men, no kidding, but in actions well we are more alike than either gender wants to admit.

    May 9, 2011 at 10:09 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Sonia

      What you fail to understand is that often times, women hook up with men in the hope that the guy will end up her boyfriend. So yes, it takes two to tango; for every man who hooks up with a woman there's also that woman. But their motivations is often time very different.

      May 9, 2011 at 10:51 | Report abuse |
    • Maggiemay

      James, I know a lot of women who have ended up in "hook ups," mainly because of the need to feel desired, which was a point in the article. I think women CAN get what they need, both emotionally and physically, from friends with benefits. But I don't know many women who are as "okay" with one night stands as some of the men I know are. However, generalizations are just silly. I know several male friends who aren't really attracted by one night stands either. I believe the phrase i've heard is "too much work." Hey, if Taye Diggs said to me, "hey baby," i wouldn't turn that down! that's all i'm sayin!

      May 9, 2011 at 10:55 | Report abuse |
    • Lila

      Women also just hook up because they are hor ney. The problem is it doesn't fit into the small minded theories of these so called specialists.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:32 | Report abuse |
    • moe smith

      @sonia

      that's a dumb woman...

      May 9, 2011 at 14:21 | Report abuse |
    • MSfrom CA

      While it takes two, that doesn't mean that its always a DIFFERENT two. I remember years ago reading that the percent of female virgins in High School is much higher than the percentage of males. Who are the males doing it with? The same small group of females. Similar with these one night stands – its not all women having them, just a small group over and over with lots of partners. My point is that although there is overlap in behavior between men and women, the average or norm behavior is still quite different.

      May 9, 2011 at 14:40 | Report abuse |
    • Sonia

      @moe smith
      You think it is dumb because you see it from your male perspective. But it is not dump, it is just different. Men and women hook up for different reasons, and for them, that reason make sense.

      May 9, 2011 at 17:42 | Report abuse |
  5. wordnew

    All I need to do to get the wife tuned to a fevered pitch is come home with a new iron or vaccuum. Man oh man!!!

    May 9, 2011 at 10:11 | Report abuse | Reply
    • todd

      Dude, you sure that is what turns on your wife? If it is, get her that robot vacuum cleaner (forget what it's called)

      May 9, 2011 at 10:30 | Report abuse |
    • wordnew

      Todd... Hmmmm good idea, maybe one per room. yippee skippee!

      May 9, 2011 at 10:36 | Report abuse |
    • Meh

      Darn...all this time ive been eating at the Y for 60 minutes...imagine all the time I could have saved

      May 9, 2011 at 12:28 | Report abuse |
  6. Daniela

    do think if men really knew what women want this would be so much better! there is fantasies I wish I could tell my boyfriend but I can't because I feel ashamed and I just wish that he could read through me so I don't feel like its wrong and I could be pleased.

    May 9, 2011 at 10:20 | Report abuse | Reply
    • wordnew

      Tell him what's on your mind. It's the only way to go, and will open up another level of your relationship.

      May 9, 2011 at 10:25 | Report abuse |
    • Troy

      I'm sure he'd love to hear you tell him what you want. The more vulnerable each of you are to each other, the stronger the relationship.

      May 9, 2011 at 10:33 | Report abuse |
    • John Sharp

      Geez, grow up and tell him what you want. This is 2011 not the dark ages. What occurs between two consenting adults is no one's business.

      May 9, 2011 at 10:35 | Report abuse |
    • Heann

      Just tell him you want to ride a white pole – he'll be fine with that

      May 9, 2011 at 10:36 | Report abuse |
    • truth giver

      your comment is proof-positive that most women are cowards when it comes to s3x. honey, the shame is what you feel...stop projecting it onto your boyfriend. you have no idea who he is. maybe it's time you ended the relationship (i say this for his benefit, not yours)

      May 9, 2011 at 11:05 | Report abuse |
    • some emo kid

      Get really drunk and blurt it all out, then pretend you don't remember the next day.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:27 | Report abuse |
    • Bubba

      TruthGiver hasn't been laid in five years, I bet. What a grouchy old man!

      May 9, 2011 at 11:49 | Report abuse |
  7. Meylin

    I do think if men really knew what women want this would be so much better! there is fantasies I wish I could tell my boyfriend but I can't because I feel ashamed and I just wish that he could read through me so I don't feel like its wrong and I could be pleased.

    May 9, 2011 at 10:21 | Report abuse | Reply
    • GRJ

      If people could reach other's minds, then yes, things would be a lot different. But we have to be brave as individual and not feel afraid to express ourselves. If other people cannot accept us, then that's their problem, not ours.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:21 | Report abuse |
    • cbozey

      Tell me and I will tell him!!!

      May 9, 2011 at 12:59 | Report abuse |
  8. stevie68a

    While men enjoy girl on girl, some women enjoy boy on boy!

    May 9, 2011 at 10:22 | Report abuse | Reply
  9. phoenix

    the heathen need all kinds of pills and gyms,, they are un natural flesh worshipping rascals, mocking biblical tenets.

    May 9, 2011 at 10:24 | Report abuse | Reply
    • no.

      old troll is old

      May 9, 2011 at 11:07 | Report abuse |
    • Bubba

      Unnatural flesh? You mean that Botoxed stuff? Who'd lust after that?

      May 9, 2011 at 11:28 | Report abuse |
    • Bubba

      I used to play Biblical Tennis, but they tried to take my balls away.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:34 | Report abuse |
  10. Rock

    Oops, excuse my b0ner – sorry about that

    May 9, 2011 at 10:29 | Report abuse | Reply
    • pointless1

      Thanks man.. could you pick that thing up already? Was walking along minding my own business when I tripped on your best friend..

      May 9, 2011 at 10:39 | Report abuse |
    • Ashley

      Is that what it was, I though you had a 1/2 a package of rolaids in your pocket

      May 9, 2011 at 12:28 | Report abuse |
    • Rock

      Watch out – it spits

      May 9, 2011 at 12:32 | Report abuse |
  11. Nodule

    I love how Valerie calls us pigs. We know what we want and aren't afraid to express it. If that makes us pigs then so be it. Maybe if women were the same way CNN wouldn't have to release an article every 3 days on how to please women. Open your mouths and speak. We aren't psychic.

    May 9, 2011 at 10:33 | Report abuse | Reply
  12. Dakkota

    I think the 'research' is suspect by the sheer fact that they used search histories from American Online. Who still has, uses, or admits to having AOL? I thought that died in the early 2000's.

    May 9, 2011 at 10:36 | Report abuse | Reply
  13. Tom Leykis

    More stupid articles from no nothing, vacuous, vacant headed writers. Women are easy to understand and to game.

    May 9, 2011 at 10:38 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Jessica

      *know nothing

      May 9, 2011 at 13:02 | Report abuse |
  14. keywerd

    More male bashing. Gee what a surprise.

    May 9, 2011 at 10:40 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Bubba

      Us males can take the bashing. We're MEN.

      May 9, 2011 at 10:47 | Report abuse |
    • Heann

      Valerie's daughter was just bashing millions of my unborn kids all over her face – she did it with a smile too

      May 9, 2011 at 12:36 | Report abuse |
  15. HUH?

    Evolutionarily, that makes sense. In the earliest days of humans, females who mated with the first males they encountered would not have fared as well as those who took the time to investigate their partners a little more. The "detective agency" would make sure that the chosen male would not be cruel, unfaithful or sneaky, would protect the woman and her child."

    So if this were realy true then men would have had to evolve into faithful. uncruel, protective, unselfish men in order to get a femal and we all know that didn't happen...uh!!!!

    May 9, 2011 at 10:40 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Yup

      Oh, some of us did evolve that way. Other men gained enough looks and charm to fool women so they could get around it and cheat. Unfortunately most women don't seem to realize that.

      May 9, 2011 at 13:32 | Report abuse |
  16. Bubba

    I know what women want. But they can't have me, because I'm married. Sorry, ladies.

    May 9, 2011 at 10:46 | Report abuse | Reply
  17. palintwit

    Anybody care to venture what kind of p0rn the Palin family watches?

    May 9, 2011 at 10:46 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Dakkota

      Mama Grizzly p0rn?

      May 9, 2011 at 10:51 | Report abuse |
    • Bubba

      Why did you even ask a horrifying question like that?

      May 9, 2011 at 11:15 | Report abuse |
    • HapHazzard

      Considering the ego, she's got her own copy of "Nailin' Palin".

      May 9, 2011 at 11:35 | Report abuse |
    • some emo kid

      They have a video cam in Bristol's bedroom.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:47 | Report abuse |
    • Ashley

      Oh, without a doubt – they look at pictures of themselves

      May 9, 2011 at 12:29 | Report abuse |
  18. Truefax

    I don't know what the heck you ar talking about... Most women are thinking about Orlando Bloom is the take away.

    May 9, 2011 at 10:48 | Report abuse | Reply
  19. P

    "The 'detective agency' would make sure that the chosen male would not be cruel, unfaithful or sneaky, would protect the woman and her child. .... Apparently the 'detective' is Barney Fife.

    May 9, 2011 at 10:51 | Report abuse | Reply
    • dave

      if women are genetically programmed to find a reliable mate - why do males with 3 day beards, black leather jackets, tatoos, and a history of domestic viloence get all the girls

      May 9, 2011 at 11:11 | Report abuse |
    • Jason

      Because women are really freaks and have dark and twisted fantasies, so they look for the "bad boys" to give it to them.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:25 | Report abuse |
  20. Jason

    Women are just as perverted, if not more so, as men are. They're just afraid to admit it.

    May 9, 2011 at 10:56 | Report abuse | Reply
    • truth giver

      the sickest fantasies i've ever heard were always from women...men's fantasies are pretty mundane by comparison. and there are FAR MORE women into things like BDSM than men...even if they never act on it. women are freaks...don't believe what mama told you.

      May 9, 2011 at 10:59 | Report abuse |
    • Natasha

      True

      May 9, 2011 at 11:19 | Report abuse |
    • Lila

      Yup, someday women will be much more comfortable and open with their s3xuality.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:35 | Report abuse |
  21. ___

    this article seemed more about men's s3xuality, than women's. also, the AOL search indicates that AOL has a lot of nerdy, geeky women with LOTR fantasies...not your average female profile at all. i think someone is just out to sell a book...way to go CNN

    May 9, 2011 at 10:57 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Jason

      Those search histories literally made me start laughing, especially the guys which was cheerleaders, bikinis, cheerleaders tanning, cheerleaders, then christian advice on lust. lol How can you pull two random search histories from two obviously strange people and use that as evidence for anything?

      May 9, 2011 at 11:01 | Report abuse |
  22. Smexy

    What is Obama doing about all this?

    May 9, 2011 at 10:59 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Bubba

      Reading Michelle's search history, I guess.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:16 | Report abuse |
  23. M Greyson

    "In the earliest days of humans, females who mated with the first males they encountered would not have fared as well as those who took the time to investigate their partners a little more. The 'detective agency' would make sure that the chosen male would not be cruel, unfaithful or sneaky, would protect the woman and her child."

    This article is BS. In the earliest days of humans... it was about survival, baby. If the 'detective agency' told her the alpha male that wanted her was cruel and unfaithful, no doubt her survival smarts would tell her to get with him anyway – and to leave the kind, faithful betas alone.

    This 'detective agency' theory doesn't explain why many women are attracted to abusive, unfaithful men these days.

    May 9, 2011 at 11:00 | Report abuse | Reply
  24. BlackDynamite

    "In the earliest days of humans, females who mated with the first males they encountered would not have fared as well as those who took the time to investigate their partners a little more. The "detective agency" would make sure that the chosen male would not be cruel, unfaithful or sneaky, would protect the woman and her child."

    Then the average beautiful woman has all the detective skills of CoDumbo, if you look at the men they roll with and seek out for relationships. They fall for ANY MAN who has a rap, regardless if they're unemployed, in jail, on drugs, have a restraining order.....
    BD

    May 9, 2011 at 11:00 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Rock

      They seem to like a guy with a fire plug in his pants too

      May 9, 2011 at 12:16 | Report abuse |
  25. SoSueMe

    What's with the male bashing? I love men, and I don't mean in a "ooooh gotta have it with every guy" kind of way. Love the mix of strength and vulnerability, love the men who are honorable, the ones that love their moms, women and kids, the ones who work hard every day because it's the right thing to do, love how they can fix things and understand things differently from how I do. Love that I raised a great son. Love that I have a terrific husband who consistently turns me on and gets me off. The men in my life enrich me in ways I could never measure. What really turns me on is male lust. If I look at por n, that's what I want to see, but not in a way in which anyone is victimized or frightened. A guy who's gotta have it and a woman who is willing! Ladies, get over it and start celebrating your men and their se xuality. I have a blast with my husband!

    May 9, 2011 at 11:06 | Report abuse | Reply
    • JordanS_OnWisconsin

      The fun that can be had in a open trusting relationship is endless! Your comment out of all the above was the most positive and made me smile! I believe you have a great outlook and your perspective is correct. Nothing bothers me more than when my partner is SHUT OFF to something with no consideration, because with everything I have convinced her to open up to she now loves! Women take control, learn from your man, and teach him too!

      May 9, 2011 at 11:25 | Report abuse |
    • SoSueMe

      Thanks, Jordan. I'm afraid people on both sides of the gender line only hurt themselves by buying into the stereotypes. If life is confirming your negative perceptions of the other gender, then it's time to focus on being a better person yourself and raise your expectations concerning partners and don't settle for less. There are plenty of decent men and women out there. Push yourself and join us. A healthy, loving partnership can be the core of a life well lived.

      May 9, 2011 at 12:18 | Report abuse |
  26. Johnny

    Nah! I don't think we guys are as simple as toggle switches. Sure, I find young, attractive women arousing, but we can also be de-roused by what the woman says or does.
    A couple examples:
    1) I remember the receptionist at my old job, she way young and very attractive, but also had a terrible character, was too profane on her speaking, and had chicken brains; I never felt attracted to her.
    2) I was getting on with this chick the other day, but she started to complain about this and that and said things that killed the vibe, so my "buddy" got de-roused; it happened to me before with other "buzz-killers" and she got kind of mortified, so I had to make up this story that I was under a lot of stress from work, etc., etc.

    Bottom line: we men are not dogs with toggle switches. From scientist to scientist, I think your conclusions are biased, madam. Just look at your data: you girl under research was attracted to Orlando Bloom. So she's in for a handsome guy, plain and simple; where's the "calibration" and "sophistication" there???

    May 9, 2011 at 11:07 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Greebo

      I dated this really cute girl, but she ended up being irresponsible, lazy, and messy. I couldn't "get it up" for her without thinking of someone else. So yeah, it's not JUST about looks. Articles like this that generalize and use lousy metaphors like toggle switches and overly complex F16 mechanics are hugh piles of BS with a few grains of truth sprinkled in.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:18 | Report abuse |
    • some emo kid

      So Greebo, you aren't really a tomcat?

      May 9, 2011 at 11:43 | Report abuse |
    • bamerz

      dude it could also be that the woman was complaining cause the male didn't know what he was doing....

      May 9, 2011 at 12:01 | Report abuse |
    • Johnny

      Bamerz: nope, I've done some troubleshooting on this issue, and the root cause seems to be the girl. The are girls that are passionate, crazy in the sack and a lot of fun to be with; and there are others that are just a lousy lay, no matter how smooth your moves are.

      May 9, 2011 at 13:15 | Report abuse |
  27. Buffoon

    We should get laid as often as we could and keep whining! 🙂

    May 9, 2011 at 11:08 | Report abuse | Reply
  28. webb

    "In the age of the Internet, it's possible to find out.... " You've got to be kidding? I heard 99% of this in a lecture in college back in the early 80's. Regurgitated BS by someone who probably attended the same damn lecture.

    May 9, 2011 at 11:11 | Report abuse | Reply
  29. Osama

    In the early days of humans, girls were property to be bought, sold, used and discarded. It's still this way in most of the world.

    May 9, 2011 at 11:11 | Report abuse | Reply
  30. Javier

    If this article was written by a man, it wouldn't make the news.

    May 9, 2011 at 11:13 | Report abuse | Reply
  31. Jesse

    I get so tired of this hogwash gibberish. It's all a feeble attempt to make Man look simple and Women look smart. I'll cite an example straight from this writers own words. One look at Orlando Bloom sets off the female senses, regardless of his background, character or father figure protection status. The writer states a Woman must investigate, yet turns around and states a picture of Orlando Bloom is sufficient investigation.

    Hypocrites all of you that agree with this Woman great, Man dog theory. It's so outdated and worn, like that Orlando Bloom photo you keep taking into the bath with you.

    May 9, 2011 at 11:23 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Bubba

      I bet 'Jesse' is a hermaphrodite.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:31 | Report abuse |
    • JayPass

      I agree with your post Jesse. If a women knows what a man wants, it's not because the man is better at communicating those things. It's because the man is just a simpleton. And the woman is a complex, smart being who has him all figured out. On the other hand...women...who some how make it out of this mess as the 'better communicators'....remain a mystery to men and groups of scientists around the world.

      May 9, 2011 at 14:35 | Report abuse |
  32. lucerot

    Women who complain that men are pigs are just as funny as men who complain about always having to make the first move.
    Ladies, men are just wired differently than you. If you're waiting for men to fantasize about holding hands under waterfalls, you will wait a long time.
    And guys, it doesn't matter that it is the year 2011. If you don't make the first move, you're not getting laid.
    Folks need to recognize that men and women will always be different, and celebrate it. The sooner we accept it the easier our lives will be.

    May 9, 2011 at 11:24 | Report abuse | Reply
  33. J L

    I'll never understand how or why so many attractive woman are with a "dog-man."

    May 9, 2011 at 11:26 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Bubba

      Arf arf. Oink. Bow wow WOW.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:39 | Report abuse |
    • J L

      there's just too much cynicism and stereotyping in our culture. maybe this is how we get all these unseemly couples.

      May 9, 2011 at 12:49 | Report abuse |
  34. Brad

    The only thing that turns my Wife on is a light switch.

    May 9, 2011 at 11:26 | Report abuse | Reply
    • J L

      little or no libido

      May 9, 2011 at 11:32 | Report abuse |
    • Brad's Wife

      @Brad, not true..........your younger brother does it for me. So does the black ice cream man who drives by around 1:00. In fact, he did it for me twice last week. Maybe I should call YOU Mr. Softee, Brad?

      May 9, 2011 at 13:20 | Report abuse |
    • Brad's Wife

      @Brad,
      P.S.
      I want a divorce, you worthless sack. You can't even satisfy your hand, loser.

      May 9, 2011 at 13:21 | Report abuse |
    • Brad's Hand

      Any man dumb enough to marry deserves his fate.

      May 9, 2011 at 13:26 | Report abuse |
  35. Jesse

    Another note, the writer states during evolution the woman that mated first found out she did poorly compared to when she waited and investigated the mans background. So if Hugh Jackman was the first guy a woman met, and she mated would you say she screwed up? Or what if she met Orlando Bloom from 500 yrs ago and choose not to connect with him, but later settled for a fat man with a clean cave? How would you swing that one back into woman's favor? Just such gibberish.

    May 9, 2011 at 11:27 | Report abuse | Reply
    • some emo kid

      That's not actually what the article says, but since you are nuts why don't you just make up your own article? Are you a man or a woman?

      May 9, 2011 at 11:46 | Report abuse |
    • MrsFizzy

      Well that sounds like some good fanfiction to me...

      May 9, 2011 at 15:17 | Report abuse |
  36. everyday

    what a lame article that takes a long time to say nothing. just tired old cliches & dumb generalizations. keep up the insightful investigations!

    May 9, 2011 at 11:27 | Report abuse | Reply
  37. plopstation

    legolas erotica... that's strange, i search that everyday and i'm a man...

    May 9, 2011 at 11:27 | Report abuse | Reply
    • MrsFizzy

      Seriously... I'm thinking they just assumed that was a woman searching!

      May 9, 2011 at 15:18 | Report abuse |
  38. Edward

    "The "detective agency" would make sure that the chosen male would not be cruel, unfaithful or sneaky, would protect the woman and her child."

    Considering how many women choose poor partners that have all of the above attributes in spades I doubt that this is true. I think that most people generally look for someone that would be a good parent and is generally a good person, men that aren't just after instercourse do the same thing. In fact, I bet that statistically men are less willing to put up with crap or people with the above attributes than women are. Any time a woman cheats on a man the relationship is almost sure to be over but women from what I have witnessed tend to stay with men that cheat on them. Of course, I'm just guessing about that last statement but I wouldn't doubt that it is true.

    May 9, 2011 at 11:30 | Report abuse | Reply
  39. WillyNelson

    one question...whos the boss?
    two words...TONY DANZA

    May 9, 2011 at 11:34 | Report abuse | Reply
  40. teepee

    test

    May 9, 2011 at 11:37 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Tim's Mom

      Tim, I've warned you about this posting nasty childish stuff. I'm sorry everyone.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:41 | Report abuse |
  41. J L

    if this study is so airtight, then why are our divorce rates so frequent and high? Perhaps men and women are making choices contrary to their true natures..

    May 9, 2011 at 11:38 | Report abuse | Reply
  42. teepee

    they are not posting my words because i tell the truth...

    May 9, 2011 at 11:40 | Report abuse | Reply
  43. teepee

    in 20 years, W hite W omen will have no use for W hite B oys because they are content with have S ex with objects, animals, and each other...

    May 9, 2011 at 11:42 | Report abuse | Reply
  44. Lila

    "A woman wants to know that there’s going to be repeat action, that he’s committed and is going to be coming back" I knew this article was going to be stupid and outdated. Online searches does not = 53xual arousal, it's idiotic to imply that. Searches aren't private first of all, many women know this, Second orlando bloom as legolas is actually quite 53xual from a woman's perspective. I sat through Thor last weekend listening to women go on and on about how hemsworth had gorgeous lips, eyes, body and they loved his height. You think popular women shows like "True Blood" have ugly men on it? Hollywood seems to know to know all about female tastes more than these so called "specialists". BTW all men and all women are individuals with different tastes. Always lumping them together has never made sense.

    May 9, 2011 at 11:43 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Lila

      Also AOL users tend to be much older. These specialists are looking at the searches of people who are middle age to senior. Younger people use search engines like Google and Bing more often.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:53 | Report abuse |
  45. teepee

    funny how we laugh at other nations for their views on women's s exuallity when our own f emales don't see anything wrong with having s ex with door knobs, bed posts, car stick shift knobs, f ucking m achines, ect...

    May 9, 2011 at 11:50 | Report abuse | Reply
  46. DJ

    Just as men, all women are different. I think for the most part we want a man to be a MAN, and we want to be submissive to him. We just want to know that he is OUR MAN and only ours. The bad boy persona is liked because they always represent the damaged or hurt heart and if their hurt then it show they have a deeper capacity to love. Just a thought.

    May 9, 2011 at 11:52 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Edward

      Not really, women that like bad boys are aren't women they are girls. I'm not sure where you live but here in the US women aren't looking to be submissive to anyone, and they shouldn't. That doesn't meant that they want to be the dominate ones but rather there are times when both partners need to play either role.

      May 9, 2011 at 11:59 | Report abuse |
    • DJ

      Edward, I must have used "submissive" the wrong way. What you said is what i meant. The bad boy thing being just for girls is not so true. I know allot of older women who still get hot over that.

      May 9, 2011 at 12:05 | Report abuse |
    • Edward

      Well "getting hot over it" and dating or trying to rescue them are two entirely different things.

      May 9, 2011 at 12:14 | Report abuse |
  47. right

    It is ridiculous to think that men do not want to feel wanted too. It is pretty much impossible for me to be turned on if I do not feel wanted.

    May 9, 2011 at 11:57 | Report abuse | Reply
  48. UCFknightman

    I think now's a good time to join a dating site.

    May 9, 2011 at 12:00 | Report abuse | Reply
  49. Captain_OWNARSHIP

    my search list is waaaaaaay nastier than the prudes in the article

    May 9, 2011 at 12:07 | Report abuse | Reply
  50. Dorgren

    Why are these issues always so divisive (referring to some comments here)? Can we not all simply agree that everyone is different, different people experience arousal in different ways, and that there is a spectrum for both men and women that no blanket generalization can adequately accommodate every person in the world?

    You wouldn't think something so pleasurable would cause so much consternation among people. Go figure.

    May 9, 2011 at 12:08 | Report abuse | Reply
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