March 31st, 2011
02:29 PM ET
Spring is in the air - and so is sex! Forget the romance of Valentine’s Day, the sizzling summer months of July and August, even the nostalgia of your anniversary –- they’ve got nothing on spring, when all creatures great and small have one thing on the brain: nookie.
But though the temps may be warmer and the flowers may be in bloom, most of us are still actually having sex indoors. In fact, according to a new sex survey from TheNest.com, more than 93% of couples have sex in the bedroom, followed by a distant 8% in the living room, 7% in the shower/bathroom, and 1% in the kitchen.
While some might see this as a good reason to start spreading the loving beyond the bedroom, I think just the opposite: If the bedroom is the place where you’re having all of your sex, then make it as sexy as possible.
While it’s certainly worthwhile to spice things up by having sex outside the bedroom - the living room floor, the kitchen table, and that alley behind the local bar come to mind - there’s also nothing wrong with having perfectly vanilla (or maybe not-so-vanilla) sex in bed. Especially if you’ve set up the room in a way that’s conducive to lovemaking. This week, I’d like to suggest that you team up to turn your bedroom into a smokin’ hot love nest.
I don’t know about you, but my bedroom sometimes tends more towards pig-sty than love-nest: from the pile of laundry in the corner to the cluster of wires and cords to the glasses of water placed on the windowsill in advance of the kids who will invariably interrupt the night, the bedroom if often just that: a place to sleep and a bit of a messy one at that.
So it’s time for a little spring-cleaning, of the sex-inducing sort:
Sure, you’ll eventually end up in the bedroom (preferably naked) but, before you get there, you may want to hit up some local shops together in order to find some new pieces for your room, or even just set up a time to scour the shops online. Have you ever heard of shopping your closet? It’s when you re-imagine the items you already own in order to create a new and exciting wardrobe. And you can certainly do the same thing here, rearranging furniture and lamps and knick-knacks you already own in order to make your bedroom more like a sexy boudoir. But wouldn’t it be fun to pick up a few new pieces?
Before bringing in anything new, however, remove the clutter from your bedroom. Keeping it there will only cause you stress, and distract you from more important things, like how good it feels when flesh meets flesh. After clearing things out, consider what’s left. Could you use some new sheets? How about some with a higher thread count? What about the colors in the room? Pale blues and greens are ideal for relaxing, but you should also add pops of red and pink in order to turn up the heat on your love life. A little art goes a long way, as do fresh flowers or scented candles that have a hint of cinnamon and vanilla, which have been shown to increase arousal and attraction.
The point is to think about refreshing your bedroom in a way that appeals to all of your senses. Do something for each sense: aromatherapy for your sense of smell, a fabulous sexy playlist for your ears, some adult-only toys for your sense of touch, a nice bottle of sweet port and two small glasses for your sense of taste, and even a blind-fold to restrict you or your partner’s sense of sight and enhance the other ones. Remember that the brain is your biggest sex organ, so if you need some ideas about how to put your love-nest to maximum use, check out my book "52 Weeks of Amazing Sex."
The point is to be playful, but remember that anything that’s adults-only should go in a box, preferably one with a lock if there are kids are around. And if there are kids around and you haven’t put a simple lock on your bedroom, do it now and give yourself a little peace of mind.
The main thing about a love-nest makeover is to create a space that’s fun, a little sacred and protected from all of those “outside the bedroom” pressures. Leave the bills and laptops and other digital distractions in the living room. Don’t worry, they’ll still be there in the morning. You might want to even go so far as to remove the photos of the kids or other family members from your bedroom, and replace them with photos of you and your partner –- how about a wedding photo, or a sexy honeymoon photo, or one from when you were first dating and reminds you of all the love that got you where you are today?
Whatever you choose to add to or take away from your bedroom, the point is to make it about your identity as a couple, and it should inspire you to appreciate and celebrate your couple-hood. Cleaning doesn’ t have to be boring at all - especially if it’s in preparation for a spring fling with your partner!
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