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October 28th, 2010
03:37 PM ET

Men and sex: Survival of the quickest

Even though it’s often the butt of many jokes, premature ejaculation (PE) is no laughing matter. It’s the most common type of sexual dysfunction a man can have, with many  experts estimating that up to 30 percent of men have PE. In my new book Overcoming Premature Ejaculation, I use the latest research to distinguish myth from reality and offer a new approach for managing a condition that has left many men, myself included, feeling like a sexual cripple.

There’s been a lot of disagreement and discussion in the medical community about how we should define PE. But the latest, most widely accepted definition—from the International Society for Sexual Medicine (ISSM)— says that PE is a male sexual dysfunction characterized by:

  • ejaculation that always or nearly always occurs prior to or within about one minute of vaginal penetration;
  • inability to delay ejaculation on all or nearly all vaginal penetrations;
  • and negative personal consequences, such as distress, bother, frustration and/or the avoidance of sexual intimacy.

To say that it’s tough to talk about PE is an understatement. Most guys don’t want to admit that they’ve got any kind of sexual problem, especially one as sensitive as ejaculating too soon. It doesn’t help that stereotypes about PE tend to label it as a problem limited to  teenagers (just take a look at movies like "American Pie" or "Fast Times at Ridgemont High") or selfish jerks (Lorena Bobbitt famously claimed, after cutting off her husband’s penis, “He always has an orgasm and doesn’t wait for me”).

The truth is that PE can happen to anyone. It doesn’t matter how old you are, how much experience you have, or how much you know about sex. What was once believed to be an anxiety disorder is now thought to include not just psychological factors but biological origins as well. Most guys with PE have chronic PE—they’ve never known any other way.

Do you suffer from chronic PE?

1.      Are you unable to control how long you last during sex?

2.      Do you climax within a minute or less of starting intercourse?

3.      Have you tried various methods to deal with PE, only to have your hopes dashed?

4.      Are you dissatisfied with your sex life?

5.      Do you often worry about pleasing your partner?

6.      Does even foreplay often lead to “end of play?”

7.      Do you avoid intimate situations because they could lead to premature ejaculation—so why even bother?

8.      Has PE damaged your relationships with women?

If you answered “yes” to most of these questions, you could have chronic PE. And you’re not alone.

Although the stereotype of PE tends to be a  teenager who can’t control himself, nothing could be further from the truth. Because lifelong PE is chronic, it’s a problem in young and old men alike. It’s true that your ejaculatory control does get a little better with age, but that’s because your body is getting older, not because your PE is improving. In fact many older men with PE face the double whammy of erectile dysfunction.

Researchers now believe there well may be a genetic basis for chronic PE, not unlike congenital heart problems and other conditions present at birth. Studies of twins show an increased risk of PE in families, and one Dutch study found that men with PE were likely to have at least one first-degree relative (such as a father or brother) with PE, too. This tells us it’s possible that PE is has a genetic basis and that your risk for it may be inherited, just as your risk for heart disease and some types of cancer.

In my book Overcoming Premature Ejaculation the  program I recommend is biopsychosocial, or combination therapy, which combines behavioral, medical, and interpersonal approaches. That means there are:

1.      Behavioral techniques - things you can do during sex. For years sex therapists have been advising men that PE can be cured with two techniques that focus on arousal-awareness and postponing climax.  But  in fact, those techniques have limited efficacy. If anything, they often interrupt sex. Instead, I suggest a unique series of sexual positions that allow men to maintain sexual interaction without the interruption of more commonly recommended techniques.

2.      Medical therapies - medications such as SSRIs that  help to delay ejaculation and other medical approaches that are on the near horizon. While pharmaceutical solutions shouldn't be relied upon on their own, they can help guys to get a jump-start on managing PE and developing sexual self-esteem.

3.      Interpersonal methods  - changes to the way you relate during and around sex. For example, many women don't understand PE and often think that men with the condition are sexually selfish. In fact, this couldn't be further from the truth. Men with PE care greatly about their partners' sexual satisfaction, and need to be able explain the issue without shame and develop alternative paths to pleasure with their partners.

For best results, you need a combination of all three. While we can’t cure PE – because there frankly is no cure – we can learn to manage and ultimately “overcome” it.

Ian Kerner is a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author. Read more from him at his website, GoodInBed.


soundoff (314 Responses)
  1. Cosmo K

    I have always just thought about the Wall Street Journal and the stock market in general. It does the trick for me.

    October 29, 2010 at 04:07 | Report abuse | Reply
  2. 2+2=5

    No one got it. LoL. I'd love to see a poll just to see if these are the same people having so much trouble understanding politics lately. So much for multi tasking I guess, not when we have people huffing away for 3 hours on pills. WOW!

    October 29, 2010 at 04:13 | Report abuse | Reply
  3. Robert

    I had PE as a younger man and usually lasted 60 or 90 secs. But if I had masturbated or had sex in the previous 24 hrs I lasted a lot longer. Then I got a bit older and things changed. Now at 58 I go and go (10 mins? never timed myself) and sometimes I end up masturbating to ejaculation. I am also on Avodart for BPH and wonder if this slows me down?
    Anyhow sex just gets better and better with age for me and I have been married to the same woman for over 20 years.

    October 29, 2010 at 04:17 | Report abuse | Reply
  4. Ben

    I have the exact opposite problem, I takes me forever to cum and the only thing that can make me cum is vaginal intercouse (oral, hand jobs, anal, anything like that doesn't do it for me). While this might seem like a blessing to some, it is actually kinda crappy, i have had two girlfriends who think they can't please me when it is not their fault at all.

    October 29, 2010 at 04:21 | Report abuse | Reply
  5. R

    When I was in mid twenties, I had the problem with one girl. No matter what you tried you had premature discharge. It is very embarassing and frustrating. Luckily for me it only happened with one woman during a 2-3 month timeframe. Never had the problem since. But even the woman had problems with it.

    I have wondered given it only happened with my person if it is a pyschological problem more than anything. Maybe something about that woman's effect on me caused that. I guess I will never know and at least I don't have the problem anymore.

    I feel for men who have this as a chronic condition. Nothing you do prevents it. It makes the man feel like a wimp.

    October 29, 2010 at 05:04 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Shadow

      Good post. We shouldn't be joking about people's problems, really.

      October 29, 2010 at 05:11 | Report abuse |
  6. Antonio Camargo

    This is all crap. The norm is quick ejaculation and the disease is slow ejaculation. PE was invented by doctors, terapists, drug companies and consuelers just with the intention of making money for them. All mamals are programed to have fast ejaculation to guarantee prevalence over the competition. Fast ejaculation is all about Darwin, natural selection and the will to prevail over other males. It's absolulely normal. Being slow is wht should worry men.

    October 29, 2010 at 05:21 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Bill

      From an evolutionary point of view PE is normal. A male has to get his sperm in a female before others males. If he is to slow another male will pull him off the female and take over. Plus, if a man takes his time the female starts to moan and groan, scream, dig her finder nails in his back, turns bright red and then has an orgasmic seizure. This is exhausting and it takes a man away from the internet where he looks at porn.

      October 29, 2010 at 07:37 | Report abuse |
  7. John

    Kegel exercises all the way...and keep an overall healthy lifestyle. Worked for me.

    October 29, 2010 at 05:40 | Report abuse | Reply
  8. c burke

    I think PE truly makes sense when it’s considered in the setting of evolution: it facilitates procreation when time is of the essence (image a lion is encircling you and your partner.) It is only problematic due to social perceptions and should not be such a big deal.

    October 29, 2010 at 05:48 | Report abuse | Reply
  9. David

    Women out there, if you knew how much we think about it, what we thought, and who we thought it about you would never stop slapping us in the face. Then you would know why some of our brothers blow the wad early. They are that happy to get the chance, it’s instinct. It is not personal. We don't need your sympathy, or your kind words. We need opportunities. Lots of them. Have a heart ladies understand it is thousands of years of instinct at work. We can't help it. If you want to help your man out then flirt with him as much as you can. Make him feel like a sex god.

    October 29, 2010 at 07:30 | Report abuse | Reply
    • DT

      Finally some honest words here. I'm no expert on PE, but the one time it happened to me it was all mental. I was in my 20s, fit and healthy, turns out that the woman I was dating was way more experienced than me in the bedroom (and quite demanding) and I became so intimidated that I ended up being quicker than Al Bundy. I had to finally sit her down and explain 1) If you want porn star action, you're going to have to date someone else or 2) To give me half a chance to get to know her body a little better and take my time. In a matter of days...I was lasting well over an hour and then she always wanted to go to sleep while I was still up for an all nighter (it helped to know about tantric breathing).

      Good relations are based on good communication. And also to have someone who has a similar hormonal drive to your own. The woman I mentioned above had told me she was a "freak" when we were dating, but once I was on the same level with her, it turned out she was all talk...sorry, an hour is barely a warm up in my book. 🙂

      October 29, 2010 at 10:38 | Report abuse |
    • Superguy

      David, the problem is, then he will finish even faster...

      October 29, 2010 at 11:17 | Report abuse |
  10. Tylarian

    So what I understand is this: PE is so very damaging to self-esteem, that men develop behavioral patterns that can be off-putting to women.
    If a man is so insecure about his problem, that he consistently creates problems in interactions that lead to the cessation of a relationship before it actually began, than the problem isn't really the PE itself.
    If a man PE's at the beginning of a relationship with a woman, this woman could be turned off and end the relationship. Putting all the obvious behavioral (insecurity) factors aside, this could mean that the woman just didn't like the man as much as either of them might have wanted to believe. And although that's fine, it seems that she would then be using his PE as well to excuse for his relationship incompatibility.
    PE is generally caused by an overabundance of serotonin in the brain at that 'crucial moment'. Arousal (stress, insecurity, fear and excitement) increases serotonin levels in the brain. So no wonder it's so common amongst teenagers.
    I feel sad for people who base their entire existence within inter-personal relationships on their (presumed) prowess or lack thereof with intercourse. And so what if you PE; keep at it and within 15 to 20 min. you'll be ready again and less likely to PE. Leave doctors out of it until it actually happens more than 3 times in a row (that's right, you do not have to stop after climaxing once).
    If you're so afraid of intimacy because of PE, than it's the inhibiting fear that will keep you from allowing yourself to approach the best cure for PE: lots and lots of practice (sex). All you need to do is develop a meaningful relationship that's based on more than your respective genitals.

    October 29, 2010 at 07:34 | Report abuse | Reply
  11. Dr-Bob

    Actually, I read the article expecting something different. From the title, I thought this would introduce a new concept as to the biological origin of PE. When our species originated, it may have been an advantage to copulate quickly as those who lingered would be easy prey for carnivores. Thus, to assure procreation and personal survival, immediate ejaculation would have been an advantage. Unfortunately, this article (and accompanying book) seems to add nothing particularly new or interesting.

    October 29, 2010 at 07:39 | Report abuse | Reply
    • spikette

      with a female O more of a chance impregnating. so post after post suggesting evolution wants it fast, contradicts the increase of preg if woman gets hers.... now what? oh wait, the female is never factored into the evo bio behavorial cult for guys.

      October 29, 2010 at 10:04 | Report abuse |
  12. Tylarian

    And Bad Patient? Really? Is it still about PE? Or is it about the debilitating psychological and relationship problems you developed together? Men are just trouble? Is that advice? I'm sorry, I'm sure it was and is horrible, but the point of your story seems to have gotten a bit lost somewhere. Is it that healthy communication between partners can lead to the alleviation and solution of inter-personal and intimacy problems? Or is it that men are just trouble and if they seem to have PE, that you should condemn them to a lonely existence before they trick you into marriage? Once again, no matter how you feel about them, they should be able to satisfy you physically, otherwise they're not worth it? Whatever drew you to him before you ever had sex either got snowed under by these other problems, or they weren't very substantial to begin with.

    Oh yeah, I have a masters degree in clinical and health psychology and neuropsychology and I work as a therapist in an academic medical center. This doesn't mean I'm better or whatever, I just know how much people appreciate 'authority'.

    October 29, 2010 at 07:47 | Report abuse | Reply
  13. cleo

    Camel ankles! Camel ankles! Camel ankles! D'oh!

    October 29, 2010 at 07:51 | Report abuse | Reply
  14. Z

    I don't know, I would argue that 10 to 15 women of my past would argue that I have PE, and I could also argue 10 to 15 other women in my past would say I don't have PE.

    1. Different (vaginas) will do different things. 2. When thinking about Fat ugly chicks, it will help. 3. If your going to Cum and you want to please your woman.. 2 options – 1. You go right through cumming, and go again. You will guaranteed last the second time around. option 2. – Stop, and start something else. Penetration isn't the only way to make someone happy.

    I will however agree w/ the above, different positions always can make it last longer. also if you are about to cum, you can chang epositions settle down and start over again.

    I personally think the guys who last for 2 hours and can't cum have the problem. Which I find amazing, as I never been able to go that long. I will argue that after 30 minutes of having sex, 70 percent of women begin to go dry, simply cause they had all the fun they need. Keep going that you'll be burning yourself on a rug.

    October 29, 2010 at 08:01 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Joe

      I'm the guy who posted up top that going too long for me has always been a problem. A good hour minimum, which makes girlfriends think there's something wrong with THEM. However, in all my years I have never had a girl go dry even once. I've never used lubricant and always wondered why people even need it. Part of the lubrication job belongs to the guy anyway, if you know what I mean. Anyway, yes, going too long is as bad of a problem as going to too quickly... but you never hear anything about that in articles.

      October 29, 2010 at 09:31 | Report abuse |
  15. John

    It is hardly anything less than normal to come fast (which this article points out – 30% of men). Would it be called "mammary gland minoris dysfunction" if a woman had healthy but small breasts that worked fine for nursing a baby, but weren't large enough to please a particuclar man? We are talking about a social dysfunction in relationship to certain individuals in both cases, not something indicating that it would be anything biologically wrong. On the contrary – get in, dispose your seeeds, and leave is the whole point with ecaculation (and by the way, I prefer smaller breasts).

    The faster the better for survival. Prehistoric copulating couples were easy targets for carnivores. PE is one of many possible ways for a man not to please his woman, as is coming too slowly if the woman herself comes fast and is too sensitive to comfortably let the man continue until he comes. Also, there are plenty of women out there who are not tight enough to please a man as fast as some other women could. My point is that individual variations are not necessarily dysfunctions at all except in the context of between two individuals whose preferences poorly match each other.

    Coming too fast? First of all, that is a compliment to the woman who apparently is so hot that his body cannot even wait. I can come up with a number of possible solutions:
    1) Masturbate from between a couple of hours to a couple of days beforehand (depending on how often you normally need to come).
    2) Use a condom (defuses sensitivity).
    3) Just come, wash yourself, put on a new pair of briefs, and then you will likely have plenty of time before you come again (and the woman may have to work a bit harder in even giving you an erection).
    4) Use some kind of numming cream that temporarily will remove some sensitivity. I am sure you can come up with other great solutions?
    5) Find yourself a less hot woman, or a woman who is physically such that it doesn't physically feel optimally good to have intercourse with her, so that you can go on longer before coming.
    6) Think about something else while she is riding you.

    Next I am looking forward to an article about EOF (erectile over-functionality – I just invented this term) for those men who spend their child and teenage years in fear of unexpectedly and uncontrolllably getting an erection in situations lacking anything that have anything to do with sex. When they become older men, their bodies calm down and work as a normal younger men.

    October 29, 2010 at 08:07 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Tylarian

      And the wisdom keeps on pouring in.
      And about EOF: a lot of research has been done on this phenomenon in the field of developmental neuropsychology. I'm sure you can find something about it online. It's actually pretty interesting to find out why we've had to hold books and folders in front of us at various inopportune moments in junior high and high school 😛

      October 29, 2010 at 08:15 | Report abuse |
    • DrPEExpert

      >> 1) Masturbate from between a couple of hours to a couple of days beforehand (depending on how often you normally need to come).

      I see this advice a lot in both scientific literature and othewise... It is a helpful suggestion with one caveat. Generally speaking, when you empty your tanks an hour or so before the act, your tanks won't have enough time to re-fill. Result- suboptimal fluid pressure when time comes to ejaculate and you may experience something that looks more like what you see when you squeeze a near empty tube of toothpaste rather than what you see when your coke bottle explodes.

      It may be ok if you are doing it with your wife when you are ejaculating inside (although she may sense that something is off and that your fulids did not truly fill her up).

      But if you are bedding a beautiful lady that you have been trying to get for a while now and you always wanted to ejaculate on her face ever since you first met her, it may result in less than spectacular show for you and, ultimately, for her as well. So if you are to go this route, just don't expect a gread ending.

      October 29, 2010 at 10:37 | Report abuse |
  16. Dsopinion

    I'm sure that I'm a chronic PE guy, and when first starting to enjoy sex it was embarrassing, but I found a way to get past it. One poster mentioned that a lot of PE sufferers seem to be able to recover more quickly after ejaculating for a second or third go around. Well, when I would be with a girl, and ejaculated in the first minutes of sex, I just did my best to pretend nothing was happening and kept going. I'm not sure how common this is, but I have the ability to ejaculate and never lose my erection, as long as i don't stop thrusting. Then the question becomes how long to go, since women tend to have the opposite problem, they are more likely to have a problem climaxing from straight sex, hence they "fake it".

    So in summary I suggest that guys "fake it" too, just in a different way, fake that you didnt just cum, and keep going.

    Oh, also if you are drunk you can also last as long as you want. I have never had "whiskey dick", just a less sensitive dick.

    October 29, 2010 at 08:11 | Report abuse | Reply
  17. Who cares

    meh! this issue is more concerned with those in a relationship.

    October 29, 2010 at 08:16 | Report abuse | Reply
  18. Dystopiax

    Being the gentleman I am, I have never objected to brushing a woman's teeth for her. I confess that I get severe shoulder pain and cramps in my neck somewhere around the thirteenth minute, and want to drop out of the eighteen minute teeth cleaning process. If you keep brushing her teeth, despite your excruciating pain, you could win the prize of being allowed to brush her teeth a second time. But if you cease teeth scrubbing at the thirteenth minute, she will tell each woman who knows you that you are a laughable tooth scrubber.

    October 29, 2010 at 08:18 | Report abuse | Reply
  19. DG

    I prefer the "Thatcher Method"

    October 29, 2010 at 08:23 | Report abuse | Reply
  20. UCFknightman

    Just think about pink elephants wearing tutus and polos playing golf on Sunday mornings... It works. Think this line over and over, PE gone and happy lady...

    October 29, 2010 at 08:24 | Report abuse | Reply
  21. Grnbstrd

    Sex is like violence, the more you do it, the more desensitized your target gets to it and the harder you have to pound in order to get the same effects. Maybe a grip trainer, some baby oil and a solitary place can wear out the sensitivity. Dry fire yourself 3-5 times a day, the problem is most likely underuse of the organ at hand. You ever see a cat that's been left alone for a week, comes right up to you, get one who's spoiled and it may not even glance at you. Pay more attention to your trouser cat.

    October 29, 2010 at 08:26 | Report abuse | Reply
  22. MrRhetoric

    Gentleman...don't think of it to hard! It'll just mess up your head! If you're young(16-24) don't worry IT HAPPENS TO ALL OF US...JUST KEEP LAYING THE PIPE YOU'RE YOUNG SO JUST DO IT!!! Just remember one thing it's better to come quick than not come at all! Some people can't even get it up! For the over 25 crowd think of it like this...There's always another girl...woman...mistress...desperate housewife...co-employee, cousin, horse (lol) etc. Just say this verse in your head "NO DONKEY) and I promise you will be a stud that night and every night there after! jackbrazengmail

    October 29, 2010 at 08:27 | Report abuse | Reply
  23. Heff

    Don't confuse sex with procreation. Get her into a sustainable orgasm and after 20 minutes if she doesn't pass out she won't care what happens next. That's when you get to sneak in and take care of your own quick business and then roll over and start snoring....

    October 29, 2010 at 08:34 | Report abuse | Reply
  24. Mike

    Harry: "I do numeric sequences in my head when I need to distract myself. I'll pick a random number and start counting by that many numbers. 16, 32, 48, 54, 70, 86..........
    I make the numbers more difficult if I need to be distracted a little more. Works great!"

    You must have come after 48...should have been 16, 32, 48, 64, 80, 96....

    October 29, 2010 at 08:55 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Luke Smith

      100% of healthy males that have a fertile healthy female in front of them, will ejaculate within 30 seconds or less, and keep doing it over and over for awhile. It also doesn't matter what she looks like. She could be ugly, fat, skinny you name it, but if she acts and smell a certain way, NATURE TAKES OVER. Thats a rare few days a month when that happens. You just can't help it. Now, you got some people, (older people, sick people) that ejaculate fast, and can't get it on again, for a day or so. You also have people that are perverted, or will get perverted and use sex for pleasure. You have to be careful of these people, they go crazy after awhile.

      October 29, 2010 at 11:43 | Report abuse |
    • Jack Daws

      "You have to be careful of these people, they go crazy after awhile." Physician, heal thyself.

      October 29, 2010 at 14:12 | Report abuse |
  25. Tom

    Honestly though. I think the issue here is with women, not men. Its not my fault you cant reach an orgasm in 90 seconds? Looks like I win. I think you women need to work on getting your time down.

    October 29, 2010 at 08:56 | Report abuse | Reply
  26. notjustpornsex

    Guys – quit thinkin you need to be a porn star. Do your own thing and if your partner doesn't appreciate it, THEN you have a problem...

    October 29, 2010 at 09:15 | Report abuse | Reply
  27. John

    To me it is a game the first one that cums is the winner and i am undefeated.

    October 29, 2010 at 09:20 | Report abuse | Reply
  28. Joe

    Who decided that so called premature ejaculation is a problem. Perhaps mens penises are genetically designed to procreate and not necessarily please a woman until she orgasms.The whole point is to come, who says that people who do it more efficiently have a disorder? Perhaps these types of men are highly evolved because back in caveman days, the one who would come quickest with could ejaculate, and then run away from or defend himself or his family from wild animals, and has offspring, while the guy who spends an hour before he comes both he and his partner get eaten.

    October 29, 2010 at 09:29 | Report abuse | Reply
    • spikette

      add the equation, when a woman has an orgasm the odds go up she gets pregnate. that would suggest the opposite of what you and many claim about caveman day

      October 29, 2010 at 10:16 | Report abuse |
  29. booz

    ...extended pleasure condoms. boom.

    October 29, 2010 at 09:30 | Report abuse | Reply
  30. Jeffro2000

    The best cure for this problem is marriage

    October 29, 2010 at 09:32 | Report abuse | Reply
  31. Gem

    7 minutes is all we need. An athletic tongue and nimble fingers on both hands is all you need. 5 minutes of foreplay on second and third base (you can skip the first base all together) and 2 minutes of good technique JERKing on the maGic spot or even just the tiny bud outside (if the woman is horny enough i.e. has been reading erotic novels and watching adult videos) is all that is needed.

    This from someone who went from having hard to come by tiny externally stimulated orgams for first 10 years of marriage (my husband definitely has PE) to having half a litre of orgasm in seven minutes, including some during actual intercourse. It was all brought on by 2 factors 1. I started reading lot of erotic romance novels and secondly it was all in the technique – a.k.a. using toungue and fingers if PE is involved which I learned from those books and taught my husband about.

    I have often wondered if I would have been happier if my husband had had previous sexual experiences and learned all these techniques from other ladies before marrying me 😉 In our case it was double whammy becuase I was as clueless as he was until I read all those romnance books at the age of only 35!!!! I know what a late bloomer. But man did I bloom or what 😉 !!!

    October 29, 2010 at 09:33 | Report abuse | Reply
  32. hambone

    Just have a few more drinks.....that should do it!

    October 29, 2010 at 09:40 | Report abuse | Reply
  33. May

    Too much is placed on sexual pleasure. In a real sense, sex delivers, which is the next generation.

    October 29, 2010 at 09:41 | Report abuse | Reply
  34. ANon

    I really don't understand where men got the idea that they have to last a long time but I can say that it must have been from other men. Most women I know do not need 30+ minutes of intercourse and I know I would prefer about 5 minutes. I really hate that men have been working on conditioning themselves to last forever since they were 13 years old and now need an insane amount of time for intercourse resulting in a lot of discomfort for the women.

    October 29, 2010 at 09:47 | Report abuse | Reply
  35. Sunnygirl

    Geez...most of these comments show a severe case of passive aggressiveness towards the opposite sex, and sex in general..My man and I luv to please each other..the possibilities are endless..unless of course you're a dud...then your imagination is limited anyway..Of course, I've never experience PE..I imagine it's tough to deal with..but we have got to start giving each other a break here...

    October 29, 2010 at 09:54 | Report abuse | Reply
    • spikette

      i am not seeing too much passive in a lot of the aggressiveness against women. they sound like sad and lonely men.

      October 29, 2010 at 10:21 | Report abuse |
  36. mpouxesas

    I agree....
    I am not sure why (other than trying to sell ..services or drugs) PE is labeled as a problem. In fact, it should be admired...most species around the planet try to 'do it' as quickly as possible to ensure the survival and continuation of the species...so may the fastest win!!! After all, it is biological...males are constantly trying to ....distribute the ...wealth, while females trying to secure the...best investment...That's how nature works.

    October 29, 2010 at 10:02 | Report abuse | Reply
  37. mpouxesas

    I am not sure why (other than trying to sell ..services or drugs) PE is labeled as a problem. In fact, it should be admired...most species around the planet try to 'do it' as quickly as possible to ensure the survival and continuation of the species...so may the fastest win!!! After all, it is biological...males are constantly trying to ....distribute the ...wealth, while females trying to secure the...best investment...That's how nature works.

    October 29, 2010 at 10:05 | Report abuse | Reply
    • PinkUnicorn

      That is just the justification i was looking for. From now on im going to time myself in order to improve my skills.

      October 29, 2010 at 10:21 | Report abuse |
  38. sss

    Fortunately I don't have this problem......they usually dry up and ask me what's wrong.....what can't you ejaculate....lol, I say, I'm holding out.....then when I want to, I can....

    October 29, 2010 at 10:09 | Report abuse | Reply
  39. brent

    I do like the female perspective, reminds me of the scene in Fargo where Steve Beschemi's character is with the "escort" and she is saying "I hear bells ringing". Perhaps quantity is 2nd to quality, I am of the opinion, done properly the moment of "clouds and rain" can be achieved at approx the same time given proper and adequate preperation. And after all if both partners are satisfied, who needs a stop watch.

    October 29, 2010 at 10:18 | Report abuse | Reply
  40. Nunya

    Are you kidding me? I love having PE. That just means I can have multiple orgasms in one night, just like my women. You just have to give me a minute or two.... 😉

    October 29, 2010 at 10:20 | Report abuse | Reply
  41. Melissa

    I love how all of you think that all men are the same, and need to think about other women to get themselves off. And I'm sure I'll be flooded with comments of "He does it, you just don't know it" or "He's lying to you". Some people's relationship is stronger than that.

    October 29, 2010 at 10:34 | Report abuse | Reply
  42. Merkin

    "Do you suffer from chronic PE?"

    Suffer? I don't think suffer is the right word.

    October 29, 2010 at 10:36 | Report abuse | Reply
  43. OhWhatTheHell

    When I read the title of this article I thought it actually had something to do with genetic advantages for procreation. And if you think about it, if PE is genetic, then it really could be an advantage. Better chance to impregnate a woman before being interrupted, or before she gets hers and decides it's over. And let's face it, if the average woman could reach orgasm in a minute or less, nobody would consider it a problem, would they? Has anyone ever seen how long most monkeys last? A minute would be an eternity in monkey sex!

    October 29, 2010 at 10:45 | Report abuse | Reply
  44. prashant

    while doing sex please try to count 1 to 1000. and try to think something else like your office work or something. so in that case i last very long like 15 to 20 minutes. my wife get satisfaction 2 times during that time. before i had problem i used to ejaculate faster but now it is o.k

    October 29, 2010 at 10:47 | Report abuse | Reply
  45. wondering

    Ok,ladies
    I would love to know how much time would you consider great? That is assuming you have multiple orgasms,because if not your answer is going to be the length of time it takes you to get there. I think we need a concensus here.

    October 29, 2010 at 10:49 | Report abuse | Reply
  46. prashant

    pl. count 1 to 1000 during sex or try to think something else it works

    October 29, 2010 at 10:50 | Report abuse | Reply
  47. Mogdaork

    Sex should be fun, relax and enjoy.

    October 29, 2010 at 10:52 | Report abuse | Reply
  48. Jesus

    @um...of course if you're fantasizing about other people, that brings up the question of why continue to do it with him. Just go out and do it with those other people. Better to live the dream that to just dream. Simply put, marriage is inapplicable to our present day lifestyle.

    October 29, 2010 at 10:54 | Report abuse | Reply
  49. A DUDE

    MY PROBLEM IS IT TAKES ME AN HOUT TO ACHIEVE THE BIG O

    October 29, 2010 at 10:59 | Report abuse | Reply
  50. Holo

    I have the exact opposite problem. My boyfriend would keep going all night if I let him so I have to try really hard to be too sexy for him otherwise I'll never get to do anything else. I don't need more than 5 minutes and in fact, can take care of myself in less time than that. Not only that, but he often wants to go again and again which I wouldn't be able to take. So some women should be thankful their man only needs a few minutes. I always thought I couldn't orgasm, but all it takes is getting comfortable with yourself and your partner and it's VERY easy. I'm serious – even I, thought I thought I hated sex, now can have an orgasm whenever I want.

    October 29, 2010 at 11:05 | Report abuse | Reply
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