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August 13th, 2010
05:24 PM ET

Good relationship with dad can help fight stress

Do you remember playing games with your dad or having heart-to-heart talks? For men, many years later, that turns out to be important. The relationship you had with your father, and the way that you treat your sons, may be more influential than you think.

A new study presented at the annual convention of the American Psychological Association reveals that men who had positive relationships with their fathers are better equipped to deal with the stress of everyday life than men who did not remember their dads fondly.

"A big take-home message is that if there is a father present in a child’s life, he needs to know how important it is to be involved," said Melanie Mallers of California State University, Fullerton.

Researchers interviewed 912 men and women during an eight-day period about their psychological and emotional state that day. Participants also had to answer questions about their relationships with their mothers and fathers growing up, and how much attention their parents gave them.

The major finding of the study is that men who said they had bad relationships with their fathers in childhood were more likely to be distressed by the stressful incidents of daily life.

Study authors did not see this effect as commonly in women. Mallers thinks that's because women are engaging in other kinds of coping skills, relying on a network of other people besides their parents for support. Men, on the other hand, learn instrumental coping skills from their fathers, she said.

"For dads who grew up without a dad, this is an opportunity to repair damage," she said.

Overall, participants said that their relationship with their mother in childhood was better than with their father, Mallers said. More men reported a good mother-child relationship than women, study authors found.

Participants who had a good relationships with both parents in childhood tended to have fewer stressful incidents in their lives over the eight-day period than those who had poor parental relationships.

The study also emphasizes the importance of male figures in a boy's life, even if a father isn't available, she said. Positive mentors in a child's life can make a real difference, she said.


soundoff (70 Responses)
  1. garc

    You know, I have seen evidence of this in real life. That is truly sad.

    August 13, 2010 at 18:16 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Candid One

      You aren't taking the upside for granted then? I'm a pre-baby boomer who grew up in neighborhood that was as tough as many war zones. Without my dad's presence in my early life, I'd be writing this from prison–instead of a university.

      August 15, 2010 at 16:29 | Report abuse |
    • Bob

      Right? It's like people need a scientific study to know something like that.

      August 15, 2010 at 21:03 | Report abuse |
    • Jake

      Can we seriously stop wasting money with these asinine studies? Are we literally going to study every possible scenario in every possibly experience in life??? IT IS A WASTE. Everyone knows that a GOOD FATHER and a GOOD MOTHER contribute to creating GOOD CHILDREN. There, study over.

      August 16, 2010 at 11:48 | Report abuse |
  2. garc

    (I mean for the guys who didn't have great dads.)

    August 13, 2010 at 18:17 | Report abuse | Reply
  3. aerie

    It's great to have a dad in the child's life if he's a good dad. Some people make that mistake when this point is not made. They think ANY dad will do. A bad father does more damage to a child than an absent one.

    August 13, 2010 at 20:03 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Candid One

      Gangs often fill the vacuum of an absent father.

      August 15, 2010 at 16:32 | Report abuse |
    • Ed

      As does a bad mother....

      August 16, 2010 at 02:37 | Report abuse |
    • kevin

      I would like to know who is going to determine weather that is a good father or bad father? would that also be the same person who determines the good mother? the problem here is that the mother is given all the power and that should not happen. If you decide to have children with a person YOU have to live with the consequences, it takes two to parent no matter what.

      August 16, 2010 at 08:49 | Report abuse |
    • Brenda

      That is the lame excuse that lesbian couples use to bring children into their dysfunctional lifestyle. 'Its better to have to mothers than an abusive father'. WRONG. Its better to have a loving mother and father than two dykes.

      August 16, 2010 at 11:50 | Report abuse |
    • tom

      There's a lot of good fathers that are phased out and they also don't get the same suppot that is available for women. We need to be reminded how important fathers are and they need to be given the sane support. Single motherhood should not be encouraged, its not fair to the kids.

      August 17, 2010 at 00:54 | Report abuse |
  4. Ralph

    I've seen this in my own family. I work overseas most of the year and when I come home I notice the little things that tend to bother my son that shouldn't. We go on drives or do other things that give me an opportunity to talk with him. Video games are also a great platform to explain things because they teach you how to deal with losing. It gives me the opportunity to talk to him about the value of making mistakes so that the next time we have a better idea of what we need to do.

    I hear him repeating a lot of the things that we talk about to others. it is always time well spent.

    August 13, 2010 at 21:53 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Kenny

      I had the greatest job of my life in Nashville, TN. When my son was 7 I made a decision that I didn't even have to think about. My wife (now ex) would not move up to Nashville and I refused to have a son 750 miles away, so I returned to FL, despite the fact that Nashville is the place I;d love to live more than any other. I have never regretted that decision – even though things have been much more difficult for me here in FL, I know I made the right decision. I have a wonderful,, loving, exceptionally smart and funny boy. Everyone who comes in contact with him loves him instantly. This is what being a das is about.

      August 14, 2010 at 03:02 | Report abuse |
    • Heather

      Ralph,
      It sounds like you are doing a great job. Keep it up, and your son will have great memories of your time together!
      As a schoolteacher, I also want to compliment you on doing things with your son that HE wants to do (i.e., video games) instead of insisting he do things you think are "more valuable." You're meeting him at his level– that's awesome.

      August 14, 2010 at 19:20 | Report abuse |
  5. leikela

    Guess Jennifer A was wrong that a father isn't needed.

    August 13, 2010 at 22:49 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Jost

      Your comment is so irrelevant. Jennifer A?? We are talking real life, not some actress in a movie. Would you please think before you comment, it just shows your stupidity!

      August 15, 2010 at 08:52 | Report abuse |
  6. Kris Wood

    They just did an article about being close to mom helping. Whatever. Get close to your dog. It'll help.

    August 13, 2010 at 23:36 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Laura

      So you think it should be one or the other? Healthy relationships with both parents are important. This article points out that for boys there are aspects of their personality that are benefited specifically by healthy relationships with their father. It doesn't say that this is the only thing that matters but that it is one thing among many which are important for child development.

      August 14, 2010 at 03:23 | Report abuse |
    • Quaid

      At least you wouldn't smell as bad as those cat people. Blahhhh...

      August 15, 2010 at 21:20 | Report abuse |
    • tom

      wow, Laura, you seem very controling. Are the implications of fathers being important threatening to you? I have got news for you; fathers deserve all the support women have gotten. Women can also be abusive and bad mothers and fathers can be the children's protector. What the mother WANTS is not always best for the kids, especially when she uses the kids to get back at her ex.

      August 17, 2010 at 01:16 | Report abuse |
  7. kevin

    I think they would find alot more positive role model fathers if they ever stop bitter angry mothers from using the judicial system from running fathers away. here are a few examples false accusations of domestic violence, not allowing parental visits,parental alienation and just plain taking the kid/s and running .

    August 13, 2010 at 23:48 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Jtoledo

      Kevin – you just discribed my current nightmare! I am currently dealing with this type of behavior you just described... The sad part of it all, these woman that run behind the judicial system have no reality on the amount of stress it creates upon any kid and truely do not have the kids best interest at heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      JT

      August 14, 2010 at 00:55 | Report abuse |
    • Gary

      Amen, mother's and society have made good dad's just side kicks

      August 14, 2010 at 01:33 | Report abuse |
    • Laura

      Wow guys. Way to take a reality for a few and make it the rule for everyone. This isn't how healthy families work and it has no bearing on the current discussion.

      August 14, 2010 at 03:25 | Report abuse |
    • LetsFixThis

      This is certainly a national phenomena (false accusations, restraining orders, using judicial system to) dislacing fathers (and their loving attention) as a selfish weapon in divorce & custody situations where mothers chant their Mantra "For the Good of the Children" when what they (LAWYERS AGAIN!) are doing is striving to Maximize their Take from the settlement – And assure long term cash flow (from Daddy) "For the Sake of the Children" – I my experience, vehement vindictiveness from X-spouse influened shared custody decisions – Fathers rights and Time with children Inversely proportional to Conflict Level (no matter who is agressor!)) My County places 96% of children W/ mothers – Are Fathers really THAT BAD ???

      August 14, 2010 at 10:07 | Report abuse |
    • A Nony Mous

      (directly to kevin) Very true. As a great man once said, "Just because you have the right to do something, does not mean it's right,".

      August 14, 2010 at 18:41 | Report abuse |
    • Fathers are important

      Exactly. They ALWAYS err on the woman's side whether she is a good mother or not. Courts need to decide who is the better parent not automatically go with the mother. She could be a psychotic witch! Its also not fair that woman can slaughter their baby within their stomach simply because it does not suit them without consulting the MAN WHO PROVIDED THE SPERM TO HELP CREATE THE FRICKIN CHILD ! Disgusting.

      August 16, 2010 at 11:54 | Report abuse |
  8. jake

    Hmm, this seems to contradict that article CNN had just a few weeks ago how the children of lesbians are so well adjusted. Guess having an anonymous sperm donor for a Dad might not be so healthy for boys.

    August 13, 2010 at 23:51 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Laura

      You can't necessarily compare the two studies. "Well-adjusted" is a term which applies to an entire personality and functioning while this article deals specifically with reactions to small stressors in daily life. Also, this study didn't compare boys raised by hetero parents with boys raised by lesbian couples, so you can't draw any conclusions about how the two would compare.

      In order to make the claim you're trying to make you would have to compare children who had a good relationship with their father, children who did not (both with fathers present in their lives) and children raised by lesbian couples (no father present) in order to draw a direct comparison. As it is, the only conclusion you can make about the two is that a healthy relationship with a father is important for sons, but that sons of lesbian couples tend to grow up healthy. They aren't mutually exclusive and they don't say exactly the same thing because the represented studies weren't investigating the same thing.

      August 14, 2010 at 03:31 | Report abuse |
    • Quaid

      Laura, Kids who grow up with gay people are exposed to just as deprave a situation as alcoholics. There are plenty of "loving" alcoholic parents out there. The "love" thing doesn't justify the sin, let me clarify, BESETTING sin. Big difference.

      August 15, 2010 at 21:16 | Report abuse |
    • Steve

      Oh please Laura. Children of gay couples grow up screwed up in the head. You can choose to believe in the fact or not but its still a fact.

      August 16, 2010 at 11:56 | Report abuse |
    • tom

      This study did showed that gender matters and that boys learn coping skill from fathers. That is very indicative that lesbians are not ideal for raising boys. Its a real shame that same study with lesbians did not include gay men. That study was politically motivate, so...

      August 18, 2010 at 00:20 | Report abuse |
  9. Jeremy

    This is so interesting...why are these articles not linked to the whole debacle about gay marriage! It's about the saddest thing that it will be too late to stop all the negative implications that will result from society's acceptance of gay couples thinking they can raise mentally and emotionally sound children. There are just some things that mother nature did not intend and in the name of "equality" the loud, progressive, and pro homosexual society will disguise their selfish desires; thereby corrupting the way things were made to be.

    August 14, 2010 at 02:34 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Laura

      Because no parents is better then *gasp* gay parents, right? You do understand that gay couples don't adopt children out of loving, two-parent homes, correct? They adopt children with absolutely no stability in their lives who are passed around from place to place like a Christmas fruit cake.

      Additionally, this article says nothing about how children of gay couples compare emotionally to children of heterosexual couples, just that sons who have good relationships with their father in childhood tend to cope better with minor stress than sons with poor relationships with their father. Since children of gay couples were not involved in the study you can draw exactly zero conclusions about how they would handle stress, though other studies have indicated that there are hardly any measurable differences between the functioning of children of straight and gay parents, and there has been no study to date indicating that children of gay parents fare any worse in adulthood than children of straight parents.

      How about you turn your disgust to all the alcoholic, neglectful, drug-abusing, abusive and irresponsible parents out there and just be happy that there are loving people out there who are willing to give homes to unwanted children.

      August 14, 2010 at 03:37 | Report abuse |
    • Ann

      Laura: I was a child from a very bad childhood, raised in Foster Homes, etc. I look at that situation now and thank Heaven that I was not placed in a Gay foster Home or adopted out to a Gay Household. Laura you know not from where you speak. So don't..

      August 14, 2010 at 19:14 | Report abuse |
    • Quaid

      Laura, That Doesn't mean you have to give the Kids to the Fruitcakes!

      August 15, 2010 at 21:10 | Report abuse |
    • Steve

      Laura sounds like a Lesbo to me !! Hahahah Quiad... good comment.

      August 16, 2010 at 11:58 | Report abuse |
    • amy

      Ann, apparently you do not know of what you speak either as you did not live in a gay household.

      August 16, 2010 at 15:17 | Report abuse |
  10. Kenny

    I have seen this played out in the preceding 3 months of my own live. I went throuth the most stressful situation I have ever faced, by far. I was suddenly having panic attacks, trouble breathing, and could not smile for months. My friends couldn't understand why I was so stressed for so long. I lost my dad a age 5. I have a 12 year old son and have treated him like my best friend since the day he was born. He knows he never has to worry about whether I love him or not – we are close buddies, share the same interests, laugh about the same things, and have the same morals. Our relationship is incredibly close and is as solid as a rock. I am constntly amazed at his calm demeanor – he never reallly gets down. Now I understand.

    August 14, 2010 at 02:56 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Stay Vigilant

      Kenny, I am happy to hear, and am happy for you & yours sons V-good relationship! (Sounds just like mine 12 years ago!) – we were already divorced then, two sons living W/ mon that I saw on 3/4 weekends monthly. Then Teenage-Peer-Pressures and lack of guidance by one parent -– stay Open & Honest with your child/ren throughout the 'stressful teen years' Best Wishes!!

      August 14, 2010 at 10:16 | Report abuse |
    • A Nony Mous

      Wow. Your life story could be made into an awesome family movie. No offennse intented!

      August 14, 2010 at 18:34 | Report abuse |
  11. fathers 4 justice nyc

    why didnt you also include that courts,law guardians and cps along with acs has been a major part of this i have a 6yr old the courts give me a hard time to see my son and abused children like him are still at home this system is at fault not the men they dont want us involved at all i can tell u straight up in experience this is why our children suffered if god forbid they had 50 /50 shared custody maybe this research would show that fathers are being denied world wide and have went through so much just to be in there children lives

    August 14, 2010 at 03:51 | Report abuse | Reply
    • SoSad-ButTrue!!

      Remerkaqbly, throughout the World, many countries in Europe, the middle-East, elsewhere – It IS the Father who is Deemed the Custodial Parent!! Only in America where we have The System Crafted by Psychologists (textbook and peer influenced Theorists!) and LAWYERS (totalls self-interested Leaches EXaserbating misfortunes of others for Profit!) do we have as Syatem that Intends/Pretends everything is "in the best interests of the children" – When In-Fact it IS the Cast of Self-Interested Characters that dominaate the processes And Decions – Children then Fathers COME LAST!! in Acuality! TOO BAD!

      August 14, 2010 at 10:27 | Report abuse |
  12. Glenn

    I was raised by wolves. I agree with this study 100%. Caring parents are the key to a stable adult life.

    August 14, 2010 at 07:25 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Rob_in_MN

      I don't know Glen, it depends on the wolves. I read that a good caring wolf for a dad can be better than a human one.

      August 14, 2010 at 12:31 | Report abuse |
  13. BeenThere-StillHere

    I sure hope that all of the Counselors and Psychologists, and the Lawyers, and Child Welfare beaurocrats, and so on have read and will step back and Take a Serious Obective look at the remarks by the Fathers here who have been removed or severly limited in their positions as Fathers by the "System and the Courts".

    August 14, 2010 at 10:40 | Report abuse | Reply
  14. Allen

    The central point of the article certainly rings true. My father died when I was 12 even though he died in my heart years earlier due to alcoholism before my parents eventually divorced. As a result, I have very few fond memories of my father. As a functioning adult, even though I enjoy a successful career/lifestyle, I realized life's little stressors caused much more anxiety than they warrented. I think the reason for this is that because I never had any type of father-figure in my life to act as a mentor, I learned from a young age that I had to figure everything out on my own which caused more stress and anxiety than the particular situation warranted. As a father, I now cherish the 1-on-1 time with my 10 year old son. Whether its a trip to the hardware store, playing sports or just playing video games together, it's the little "harmless and random" questions that he asks that are key in his personal development. He is looking for direction and answers on his level for questions he only feels comfortable in asking another "guy". When you don't have that person in your life to ask these questions, you keep them to yourself and process your own conclusions.

    August 14, 2010 at 11:28 | Report abuse | Reply
  15. Colin

    I think a high percentage of divorce-based father losses are the result of the man's behavior that the woman's feels compelled, for her sanity, to have to block from her life. Yes, many divorces are generated by the woman's behavioral problems, too, I just don't think that even half. We guys often do a lot of little things, and a few big things, that are collectively too hurtful to bear, even though the woman's response may, in turn, be as irrational and emotional as the guy's was. For them (the women), it's just self-defense and survival, and that's how it expresses. I'm just saying that we males are often – maybe usually – the root cause of the divorce, and thus the root cause of the loss suffered by the child as this article addresses. Yes, the "justice system" is very destructive in its approach and methods and decisions. It's primitive, like the ancient practice of cutting off the hands of the thieves. Until a more restorative, healing approach comes out of our culture (instead of bombing and jailing people here and around the world whom we want to control, it ain't gonna change. Recognizing the truth of who is really the victim of the "justice" system in these divorces will hopefully force us Americans to push more healing and mutual respect (of former spouses) strategies into the divorce outcomes. Then the kids will grow and feel a whole lot better, I'm convinced.

    August 14, 2010 at 12:12 | Report abuse | Reply
  16. Light-Saver

    It IS important for fathers to develop good relationships with their daughters. It's important to look them straight in the eye and listen to them talk, and take them seriously. It's important to let them "help" with Dad-type chores and to take them with you when you go to the hardware store. It's important to watch your favorite sport with them, and explain the rules of the game.

    Why? When you treat your daughters as though they are competent people, THEY GROW UP TO BE COMPETENT PEOPLE. When you let them know they are valued, THEY GROW UP FEELING VALUABLE, and will avoid men who try to devalue and dominate (and abuse) them. A father who just plain SPENDS TIME with his girls is giving them the best preparation possible for a successful life and healthy relationships.

    Now go hug your sons, AND your daughters!

    August 14, 2010 at 14:25 | Report abuse | Reply
    • A Nony Mous

      Amazing. Right to the point and simple enough for anyone to understand.

      August 14, 2010 at 18:37 | Report abuse |
    • Jenna

      You are absolutely correct. We can thank our corrupt and screwed up media for playing a part in people being horrible parents. Men on television are dumb, driven by sex only, and complete pigheads. Women are annoying, nagging, self-absorbed witches.
      Fathers MUST show love to their children. Show it and say it. Talk to your children everyday. Not about mundane unimportant things but the BIG STUFF. Teach them about 'the birds and the bees' early in life. While they are very little so they know to respect their bodies and when to look out for danger. It has helped me a great deal. I was NEVER in an abusive relationship in any way shape or form because I have self respect. I hold my head up high and proud thanks to my father. :)....

      August 16, 2010 at 12:04 | Report abuse |
  17. Carolk

    i married young (19) who I thought was Mr Wonderful – 1 1/2 yrs later we had a son – he (the x-father x-spouse) has never repeat NEVER in 37 yrs contacted my son or paid child support or whatever. He has grown to be the most extrodinary man, engaged now, wonderfully helpful to his family..despite his "father" being hid at the grandmothers funeral that my son attended (and found out later that his "dad" was there, avoided him and had his family hide him). What a man. By the way – his name is William (Billy) Foley – last know address in Tennesse. Hope hes buried under a rock someplace. Jennifer A is soooo correct!!!! You dont need a man to be a dad.

    August 14, 2010 at 15:26 | Report abuse | Reply
    • CommonTruth

      Hmmmm, possibly he still fels it necessary to avoid heated conflict and anger, esp. in front of his son? Justa thought – Ive seen too many 'banished' fathers to sympathize with this completely.

      August 14, 2010 at 17:19 | Report abuse |
    • Dave

      Your son may not have had a Dad but I bet he had teachers, coaches, grandpa or some type of male figure that helped him become the man he has. I was blessed to have them all and my kids and spouse are better for it. Family and the supporting cast is what is important!

      August 16, 2010 at 07:16 | Report abuse |
    • Jenna

      Everyone needs a good father. Just because your son had a bad one, does not mean the enitre concept of fatherhood is not needed. Even though he seems to have 'overcome' that besides being fatherless, do not be mistaken that part of him will always be missing. They are a MUST.

      August 16, 2010 at 12:07 | Report abuse |
  18. A Nony Mous

    People, please! Don't look at this from only one way! Life is chock-full of factors that makes certain events happen to certain people!
    You just can't blame it on one or two things! You see, that's what's wrong with this world. Too many people get confused with what is true and what is false. They choose one way to see things and don't give anything a second thought. I, for one, am on a neutral side. It's about time that we genuinely look through our enemies eyes, hear through our enemies ears, and try to understand what our enemies are feeling. Taking a neutral side and telling the other sides what each other side feels will solve all problems in this world.

    August 14, 2010 at 18:54 | Report abuse | Reply
  19. kevin

    colin : some of the things you say are true, however no parent has the right to alienate the other parent period. there is always three sides to a story. and the truth lies somewhere near the middle . what I said earlier was false accusations, parental alienation ect. that means false. the problem is that the women statements are always taken as the truth. a divorce means go seperate ways that doesn't mean one can take the kid and keep them from the other parent. it takes two to have a child and it takes two to raise a child. if you are a abuser you diserve to be punished, if you are not you should not be punished. if you are any type of good parent you would not be so SELFISH as to keep a child from the other parent.if you alienate a child form the other parent then you ARE an abuser !!!!! get it. if you are an abuser you may need supervised visits, if the parents can't get along they need to do so for their child. it seemed they got along long enough to MAKE a child. so neither one of them has the right to not do the right thing........

    August 14, 2010 at 23:36 | Report abuse | Reply
  20. Truth

    A child needs both his mother and father.

    August 15, 2010 at 08:31 | Report abuse | Reply
    • michelle

      Not if they are a mentally or verbally abusive alcoholic. I can tell you that screws a kid up way more than having no father at all. Just saying.

      August 15, 2010 at 20:38 | Report abuse |
  21. Jimbo

    Not meaning to brag, but at age 55 yrs, I've come to know that one of the hallmarks of my personality is that I'm easy-going and can adapt to most any situation. I've always been cool-headed, rather than hot-headed. I've always suspected it's because of the warm and affectionate relationship I had with my Dad. I also think it's partly due to the fact that he openly adored my mom for all of his life, too. And while this study is a nice affirmation for myself, it woud be nice if it included some recommendations for those adult men who were not as lucky as me. How might they make up for a deficit if they were lacking such a positive relationship with their dads? Is it too late to do so, or...?

    August 15, 2010 at 11:57 | Report abuse | Reply
  22. John O'Connor

    People who support same-sex marriage should think about this. Gender makes a real difference in child-rearing. Kids who lack a mother have a different set of issues, just as real and just as serious.

    August 15, 2010 at 13:38 | Report abuse | Reply
    • David

      You are absolutely right. Both a mother and father bring seperate things to the table for the child to give them a well-balanced meal to make them grow up strong. Using the excuse about abusive parents is irrelevant. It is completely beside the point. A good father and a good mother are irreplaceable.

      August 16, 2010 at 12:09 | Report abuse |
  23. Nantogma. Abudulai

    Absolutly right. Most fathers who dictate to their children turn to loose them ,and in many cases this rebellion takes kids to the wrong places

    August 15, 2010 at 14:11 | Report abuse | Reply
  24. scroo yoo

    My parents were assholes,but since they didnt drink or do drugs and still fed and clothed me Im the one who looks bad.

    August 15, 2010 at 14:39 | Report abuse | Reply
  25. John O'Connor

    This role of dads pertaining to stress relates to their role in limiting aggression too. We had about 300,000 violent crimes about 45 years ago and now the figure is almost 5X as high and this has closely paralleled the rise in illegitimacy. This is overlooked by the gay marriage advocates who think gender makes to difference in child-rearing.

    August 15, 2010 at 15:45 | Report abuse | Reply
  26. Chad

    Good men/Dads have been marginalized by media and women as unimportant, no wonder our society is becoming so f'd up.

    August 16, 2010 at 02:20 | Report abuse | Reply
  27. Concerned Girlfriend

    My boyfriends father sadly died in a tragic train accident when he was very young. I always thought it had a negative effect on him, but now it makes more sense. If anyone can help give me some advice for how I can maybe help him, I would appreciate it.

    August 16, 2010 at 12:59 | Report abuse | Reply
    • Trivedi Effect

      you know someone who has been through a traumatic experience and want to get a better idea of how they might be feeling. Death due to a sudden or traumatic accident or disaster can raise a number of complex issues for the survivors. The grief process is often very different from an expected or anticipated death. Homicide, suicide, or exceptionally tragic events can cause reactions such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder on the part of survivors and family members. Sudden loss or death creates special problems for the survivors. Many of these problems compound the grief response...

      It is important for the grieving person to take care of him/herself following a sudden loss. He/she is dealing with an event that is beyond his/her control. One way of helping is to do things that help re-establish the person’s sense of control over their world. It is also important to focus on the basics the body needs for day-to-day survival:
      Maintain a normal routine. Even if it is difficult to do regular activities, try to anyway. Putting more structure into a daily routine will help one to feel more in control.

      Get enough sleep, at least plenty of rest.
      It may be helpful to keep lists, write notes, or keep a schedule.
      Try and get some regular exercise. This can help relieve stress and tension.
      Keep a balanced diet. Watch out for junk food or high-calorie comfort food binges.
      Drink plenty of water.
      Drink alcohol in moderation. Alcohol should not be used as a way of masking the pain.
      Do what comforts, sustains & recharges.
      Remember other difficult times and how you have survived them. Draw upon the inner strength.
      Take it one hour at a time, one day at a time.

      December 31, 2014 at 05:56 | Report abuse |
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